Drinker Jokes
28 drinker jokes and hilarious drinker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drinker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find an amusing collection of jokes about lightweight drinkers, wine drinkers, coffee drinkers, tea drinkers, heavy drinkers and IPA drinkers. Laugh at these funny bar jokes on a night out with friends or for a humorous break from the realities of life as an alcoholic.
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Funniest Drinker Short Jokes
Short drinker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drinker humour may include short drunk driver jokes also.
- "I'm a socialist drinker!" The bartender chuckled and asked me, "Don't you mean social drinker?" "No, I only drink when someone else is paying."
- If you drink the perfect amount of scotch every day, you'll live forever... Every scotch drinker just dies trying to figure out how much that is.
- When people say they're a foodie it's no big deal.. but when people find I'm a drinker they're all "stop the car" and "we're calling the police".
- Local coffee drinker... Local man caught after stealing a month's worth of coffee.
He was charged with resisting a rest. - What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles? Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads.
- Scotch drinkers often have trouble with relationships... because they prefer things on the rocks.
- Daughter: "That's it! I'll mary Arthur!"
Mother: "But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!"
Father: "But you have to start with something!" - So a fashionable rainbow drinker took up a career in basketball... she was the Sylph Of Space Jam
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Drinker One Liners
Which drinker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drinker? I can suggest the ones about drunk guy and drunk.
- I'm not an alcoholic. I only drink when I'm home alone... I'm just an anti-social drinker
- Some call me an alcoholic, But I call myself an antisocial drinker
- I'm a clueless drinker. I only drink on days that end with "why".
- Im a social drinker Yep, I spend my social security checks on booze.
- Why was the heavy drinker kicked out of the casino? He had won too many!
- I'd love to be a wine drinker But I can only drink it when I have...sour grapes.
- I remember when my dad was a drinker I also remember when he was a alive.
- Why don't they have Oktoberfest in Africa? Because nobody there is much of a drinker.
- My friend decided to cut out whiskey... ...but he's Stella heavy drinker.
- What do you call a fat alcoholic? A heavy drinker.
- A compass „Drinker": loose your limbs, find your North, let us dance!
- Every second person in Ireland is an alcoholic And every first person in a binge drinker.
- What did one pee drinker say when he surprised the other pee drinker? u**... for a treat!
Fun-Filled Drinker Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about drinker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean alcoholic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drinker pranks.
A customer walks up to a barista at Starbucks
They are not a huge coffee drinker so they ask the barista what's your mildest roast? The barista thinks about it for a moment and says you have mediocre ears.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you add coke to your whiskey, you're a novice drinker.
If you add whiskey to your coke, you're ruining good drugs.
Mom and Dad
My mom and dad are fighting again. My mom yelled, Have you been drinking again? You promised me to try to be a different man!!
My dad always has a witty reply. He said, I am trying, but the other man is a drinker too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Positivity
Was discussing the power of positivity with family members. Told them I could turn any situation into a positive one.
About a month later one of our cousins passed. He was a very heavy drinker & s**.... At the f**... another cousin came up to a group of us talking & said let's see you turn THIS into a positive. I thought for a minute…and realized our cousin was being cremated. That's when it hit me. I told the group, the good news is he quit drinking, and a few days from now when the flames die down, he'll have quit smoking too.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy drank some magic beer
A man sat alone at the bar of a rooftop club. Soon another man sat beside him and asked him what he was drinking.
"Magic beer." the man said.
"What do you mean by magic beer?" the new arrival asked.
The magic beer drinker took 2 gulps of beer and jumped off the building. He flew around the rooftop a few times and landed back on his stool.
"That was incredible!" the other man said.
The new arrival eagerly took some gulps of the magic beer and jumped off the roof. He plummeted 15 stories to his death.
"You know, you're a real d**... when you're drunk, Superman." said the spectating bartender.
