Drinker Jokes

29 drinker jokes and hilarious drinker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drinker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Find an amusing collection of jokes about lightweight drinkers, wine drinkers, coffee drinkers, tea drinkers, heavy drinkers and IPA drinkers. Laugh at these funny bar jokes on a night out with friends or for a humorous break from the realities of life as an alcoholic.

Funniest Drinker Short Jokes

Short drinker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drinker humour may include short drunk driver jokes also.

  1. "I'm a socialist drinker!" The bartender chuckled and asked me, "Don't you mean social drinker?" "No, I only drink when someone else is paying."
  2. Messy drinker A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, What'll you have? The skeleton says, Gimme a beer and a mop.
  3. A man walking into a bar and says, "I'll have ten times more beers than your next biggest drinker" The bartender replied, "Now that's an order of magnitude!"
  4. If you add coke to your whiskey, you're a novice drinker. If you add whiskey to your coke, you're ruining good drugs.
  5. If you drink the perfect amount of scotch every day, you'll live forever... Every scotch drinker just dies trying to figure out how much that is.
  6. When people say they're a foodie it's no big deal.. but when people find I'm a drinker they're all "stop the car" and "we're calling the police".
  7. Did you know Jesus is a drinker? He was so hammered one time, he woke up 3 days later inside a cave
  8. Local coffee drinker... Local man caught after stealing a month's worth of coffee.
    He was charged with resisting a rest.
  9. What do you call two beer drinkers arguing about sea turtles? Lager-heads at loggerheads about Loggerheads.
  10. Scotch drinkers often have trouble with relationships... because they prefer things on the rocks.

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Drinker One Liners

Which drinker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drinker? I can suggest the ones about drunk guy and drunk.

  1. I'm not an alcoholic. I only drink when I'm home alone... I'm just an anti-social drinker
  2. Some call me an alcoholic, But I call myself an antisocial drinker
  3. I'm a clueless drinker. I only drink on days that end with "why".
  4. What do you call a fat alcoholic? A heavy drinker.
  5. Im a social drinker Yep, I spend my social security checks on booze.
  6. Why was the heavy drinker kicked out of the casino? He had won too many!
  7. A compass „Drinker": loose your limbs, find your North, let us dance!
  8. I'd love to be a wine drinker But I can only drink it when I have...sour grapes.
  9. I remember when my dad was a drinker I also remember when he was a alive.
  10. Why don't they have Oktoberfest in Africa? Because nobody there is much of a drinker.
  11. My friend decided to cut out whiskey... ...but he's Stella heavy drinker.
  12. Every second person in Ireland is an alcoholic And every first person in a binge drinker.
  13. What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish f**...? One less drinker
  14. What did one pee drinker say when he surprised the other pee drinker? u**... for a treat!

Drinker joke, What did one pee drinker say when he surprised the other pee drinker?

Fun-Filled Drinker Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about drinker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean alcoholic jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drinker pranks.

A customer walks up to a barista at Starbucks

They are not a huge coffee drinker so they ask the barista what's your mildest roast? The barista thinks about it for a moment and says you have mediocre ears.

Mom and Dad

My mom and dad are fighting again. My mom yelled, Have you been drinking again? You promised me to try to be a different man!!
My dad always has a witty reply. He said, I am trying, but the other man is a drinker too.


Was discussing the power of positivity with family members. Told them I could turn any situation into a positive one.
About a month later one of our cousins passed. He was a very heavy drinker & s**.... At the f**... another cousin came up to a group of us talking & said let's see you turn THIS into a positive. I thought for a minute…and realized our cousin was being cremated. That's when it hit me. I told the group, the good news is he quit drinking, and a few days from now when the flames die down, he'll have quit smoking too.

Drinker joke, I'm a clueless drinker.