Drinker Jokes

Find an amusing collection of jokes about lightweight drinkers, wine drinkers, coffee drinkers, tea drinkers, heavy drinkers and IPA drinkers. Laugh at these funny bar jokes on a night out with friends or for a humorous break from the realities of life as an alcoholic.

Fun-Filled Drinker Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish f**...?

One less drinker

"I'm a socialist drinker!" The bartender chuckled and asked me, "Don't you mean social drinker?"

"No, I only drink when someone else is paying."

Messy drinker

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, What'll you have? The skeleton says, Gimme a beer and a mop.

A man walking into a bar and says, "I'll have ten times more beers than your next biggest drinker"

The bartender replied, "Now that's an order of magnitude!"

A customer walks up to a barista at Starbucks

They are not a huge coffee drinker so they ask the barista what's your mildest roast? The barista thinks about it for a moment and says you have mediocre ears.

If you add coke to your whiskey, you're a novice drinker.

If you add whiskey to your coke, you're ruining good drugs.

If you drink the perfect amount of scotch every day, you'll live forever...

Every scotch drinker just dies trying to figure out how much that is.

Drinker joke, If you drink the perfect amount of scotch every day, you'll live forever...

Mom and Dad

My mom and dad are fighting again. My mom yelled, Have you been drinking again? You promised me to try to be a different man!!

My dad always has a witty reply. He said, I am trying, but the other man is a drinker too.


Was discussing the power of positivity with family members. Told them I could turn any situation into a positive one.
About a month later one of our cousins passed. He was a very heavy drinker & s**.... At the f**... another cousin came up to a group of us talking & said let's see you turn THIS into a positive. I thought for a minute…and realized our cousin was being cremated. That's when it hit me. I told the group, the good news is he quit drinking, and a few days from now when the flames die down, he'll have quit smoking too.

I'm not an alcoholic. I only drink when I'm home alone...

I'm just an anti-social drinker

Some call me an alcoholic,

But I call myself an antisocial drinker

You can explore drinker ipa reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean drinker scotch drinker dad jokes. There are also drinker puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

When people say they're a foodie it's no big deal..

but when people find I'm a drinker they're all "stop the car" and "we're calling the police".

Did you know Jesus is a drinker?

He was so hammered one time, he woke up 3 days later inside a cave

Local coffee drinker...

Local man caught after stealing a month's worth of coffee.

He was charged with resisting a rest.

I'm a clueless drinker.

I only drink on days that end with "why".

What do you call a fat alcoholic?

A heavy drinker.

Drinker joke, What do you call a fat alcoholic?

Im a social drinker

Yep, I spend my social security checks on booze.

Why was the heavy drinker kicked out of the casino?

He had won too many!

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the drinker heavy drinker puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working drinker coffee drinker piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

Joko Jokes