Drill Sergeant Jokes
26 drill sergeant jokes and hilarious drill sergeant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drill sergeant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Drill Sergeant Short Jokes
Short drill sergeant jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drill sergeant humour may include short first sergeant jokes also.
- Why did the drill sergeant get a dishonorable discharge? He couldn't keep his hands off his privates
- Australian in the US army A drill sergeant is yell at an Australian private.
Officer: did you come here to die!!!
Private: no sir I came here yesterday.
(Must say in Australian accent.) - In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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Drill Sergeant One Liners
Which drill sergeant one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drill sergeant? I can suggest the ones about drill instructor and sergeant.
- What was the drill sergeant's favorite month? MARCH!
- What do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier? A Drill Sergeant
- Why did the carpenter join the army? Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant
- Why does an octopus make a great drill sergeant? Because it's arm-y.
- Why did the drill sergeant like playing tetris? He liked to order things into lines
- My granddad had the most boring job in the Army... He was a Drill Sergeant.
- What did the gay drill sergeant say to the new recruit? *DROP AND GIVE ME HEAD!*
Drill Sergeant Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about drill sergeant you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drill jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drill sergeant pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One soldier
As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
A drill sergeant and his cadet..
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets. As he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Drill Sergeant does a surprise bed check late at night
A Drill Sergeant does a surprise bed check late at night and discovers a private sneaking back into the barracks.
Sergeant: Private! What are you doing?
Private: Trying to sleep, sir!
Sergeant: You look like you just had s**..., boy. When did you last have s**...?
Private: 2010, sir!
Sergeant: 2010? That's a long time, son.
Private: Not really, sir! It's only 2045 right now.
The Drill Sergeant
A drill sergeant runs his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on. As they stand there, exhausted, he puts his face right up to one recruit's face and says, "I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you could come and pee on my grave, aren't you?"
The recruit responds, "No, sir! When I get out of the army I'm never gonna stand in another line again."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to e**... new recruits to the mess hall.
After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them
"There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up!
Eat up!
Get up!"
Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"
Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"
A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon...
A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon.
He is walking up and down the line of men, complementing, or insulting the men on their work in the field that day.
Finally, he reaches a private at the end of the line.
In a gruff voice, he yells "PRIVATE, I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING TODAY."
Without being able to finish his sentence, the private interrupts his superior saying, "THANK YOU, SIR."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of soldiers stood in formation at an army base.
The drill sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out!"
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow.
The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
A drill sergeant was drilling the recruit squad in the use of the rifle
Everything went smoothly until blank cartridges were distributed.
The recruits were instructed to load their pieces and stand at the ready, and then the sergeant gave the command:
"Fire at will!"
Private Lunn was puzzled. He lowered his gun.
"Which one is Will?", he asked.
Three childhood friends sign up for the army
And it's their first day, time for assignments.
The drill Sergeant asks the first one. "WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?"
"I like to go sailing!" he replied.
"OK, YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF BOATS!"
The second friend stood up for his turn, and was asked the same question. "I like to fly..."
"OK YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF OUR PLANES!"
The third friend came up and was once again asked what he liked to do. However, he had a stutter so all he could say was "I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I"...
The drill sergeant looks at him and replies, "OK, YOU ARE NOW IN CHARGE OF THE MACHINE GUNS!"