The Best 75 Drill Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Drill jokes. There are some drill rehearse jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these drill shaft puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Drill Jokes and Puns

Do you know how they manufacture minuscule drill bits?

A little bit at a time.

What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill?

One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.

A stuttering man wants to join the army

So he arrives at the base and gets in line. The first man approaches the drill seargent.

"Soldier, what do you want to do?"

"I want to drive a tank!" He is put to the tanks

The next man approaches. "I want to fly a plane!". So he takes to the skies in a fighter jet.

The stutterer then comes up.

"What do you want to to?"

"uh....uh-uh-uh---uh-uh-uh-uh..."

He was put in charge of the machine guns.

Drill joke, A stuttering man wants to join the army

One soldier

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

Is it possible to be bored to death?

That all depends on the drill.


Network administrator

A network administrator decided to join the military, and as part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range.

After taking a hundred shots and missing every one, the man's DI (drill instructor) came by to see what was wrong.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Why can't you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"

"I was a network administrator," replied the new recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."

The recruit checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off.

"Well," the he said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"

My friends got tired of the "Chinese Fire Drill".

Instead, we shout "Triangle Fire Drill", lock the car doors and scream until we reach our destination.

Drill joke, My friends got tired of the "Chinese Fire Drill".

camouflage training

Drill Sergeant: "I DID NOT SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING THIS MORNING CORPORAL!!!!"

Corporal: "Thank you sir."

A drill sergeant and his cadet..

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets. As he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"

Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.

Tracy said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does." Cathy giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft." Dawn quietly sipped her whiskey until Tracy asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?" Dawn frowned and said, "The postman." "Why the postman?" asked Cathy. "Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."

A dentist goes to another dentist to fix a cavity.

When his dentist started to explain the procedure, he stopped him and said, "Don't worry, I know the drill."

You can explore drill practise reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean drill penetrate dad jokes. There are also drill puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I used to be afraid of the dentist

But now I know the drill.

Why did the drill sergeant get a dishonorable discharge?

He couldn't keep his hands off his privates

What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help?

"This is not a drill!"

Bridge blown up

During a drill a bridge is labeled with a sign as blown up. To his anger the drill instructor sees a whole platoon crossing the bridge. The last soldier has a sign on his back. The instructor pulls out his binoculars. The sign reads: We're swimming.

A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon...

A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon.

He is walking up and down the line of men, complementing, or insulting the men on their work in the field that day.

Finally, he reaches a private at the end of the line.

In a gruff voice, he yells "PRIVATE, I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING TODAY."

Without being able to finish his sentence, the private interrupts his superior saying, "THANK YOU, SIR."

Drill joke, A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon...

A woman goes to a dentist

This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says:

"I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth."

The woman then says:

"Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I'd rather have a baby!"

To which the dentist replies,

"Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair."

Why did the carpenter join the army?

Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant

A Drill Sergeant does a surprise bed check late at night

A Drill Sergeant does a surprise bed check late at night and discovers a private sneaking back into the barracks.

Sergeant: Private! What are you doing?

Private: Trying to sleep, sir!

Sergeant: You look like you just had sex, boy. When did you last have sex?

Private: 2010, sir!

Sergeant: 2010? That's a long time, son.

Private: Not really, sir! It's only 2045 right now.


A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox.

Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits.

A man is sitting in his dentist's waiting room and is visibly nervous.

A kindly nurse comes up to him and says, "Sir don't be nervous, the first time is always the hardest." The gentleman looks up at her and exclaims, 'Don't 'First Time,' me tutz - I've been to the Dentist a million times and I know the drill!"

What do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier?

A Drill Sergeant

How do you make holes in a fire?

With a fire drill.

What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people?

An icebreaker

I have the most boring job of all...

I run an oil drill rig.

Are you a drill sargeant?

Because you have my privates standing at attention.

How does a dentist become a brain surgeon?

His drill slips

My doctor asked me if I was ready for my weekly trepanation

Yes. I know the drill.

Attention: This is not a drill!

Its a screw driver

This is Hammer, this is Screwdriver, this is The Wrench...

You know The Drill.

My other grandfather was a peeping tom

he use to drill holes in the floor and spy on the people in the apartment below. He died recently but I kind of like thinking about him up there somewhere.....looking down on us.

A hammer is introduced to the members of a new toolbox,

The Hammer sees his old friend and the Wrench giving the tour says:

You know the drill but do you know the screwdriver?

Sometimes at work...

...I like to run around with a screwdriver and yell "Attention everybody! This is not a drill!"

One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall.

After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them

"There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up!

Eat up!

Get up!"

Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"

Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"

TIL the Titanic was scheduled to have an evacuation drill the same day it sank but was canceled by the captain.

Now let that sink in.

Last night at 3AM my neighbour rang...

I was so startled that I almost dropped my drill.

Have you heard about the drill bit?

Actually, it's too long. I wouldn't want to bore you.

We had a fire drill at the sperm bank today...

But everyone gathered in the car park before the alarm went of, it was a premature evacuation

A man went out a cold winter day

on the ice and started drilling a hole.

Theres no fish under the ice! a voice said. But the man just ignored it and continued to drill

Theres no fish under the ice! The voice said again. The man got nervous

Is it God speaking? He asked

No the is hockey coach. Now get out of the ice hockey hall!

Drill Sergeant: "I didn't see you at camouflage training today recruit!"

Recruit: "Thankyou sir!"

A career change can happen quickly in today's society.

For example, there once was a dentist who became a brain surgeon within a matter of seconds.

All it took was for his drill to slip.

I used to work for a mining company . . .

It was a boring job; just a slow daily grind.

I would find myself in a depression everyday; unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

One day, the whole drill got to be too dull and as I was about to do something to remedy the situation, everything started to crumble down around me.

I decided I needed to get out of there in a hurry.

So I went for a drink, but as luck would have it, everyone refused to serve a miner.

I wanted a new drill for my birthday, so when my wife asked, I told her to get a Black and Decker...

She's due in court next week on a racially-aggravated assault charge.

A drill seargant walks up to a recruit

and asks, "Private! Do you have change for a 20?"

"Sure buddy", replies the private, reaching into his pocket.

"Thats no way to speak to a superior officer!" Bellows the seargant,"Lets try again!Private! Do you have change for a 20?!"

The private snaps to attention and replies "Sir! No sir!"

It's important for military engineers to know what an impact driver is.

This is not a drill

I recently lost my job as a drill instructor...

...who knew you weren't supposed to beat your privates in public?!

What is Neymar's favorite drill to practice?

The fire drill

What is it called when you leave your office building well before the fire drill begins?

Premature evacuation

My job is to drill holes in things and then bolt them together.

At first it's boring, but later on, it's riveting!

What does Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common?

They knock you out before they drill your cavity.

I've been to the dentist so many times!

I know the drill.

I was going to show you a video about a drill machine digging a tunnel.

But it's too boreing.

Why does an octopus make a great drill sergeant?

Because it's arm-y.

What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?

I didn't drill a hole in the bathroom wall to see a lentil.

two screws in a toolbox and one says to the other "do I have to go first?" the other replies...

"come on, you know the drill."

A drill sergeant walks up to a soldier.

Drill sergeant: Soldier, I didn't see you at camouflage practice today.

Soldier: Thank you sir.

I could never be a drill instructor

It sounds like it would be quite boring.

All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together.

At first it's boring, then it's riveting.

A Drill sergeant chewed out one of his cadet

The Sarge smiled and said I guess when I die you'll dance on my grave

The cadet shakes his head, Not me Sarge I promised myself that when I got out of the army I'd never stand in line again

A group of soldiers stood in formation at an army base.

The drill sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out!"
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow.
The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"

I've been to the dentist a few times before,

so I know the drill.

Australian in the US army

A drill sergeant is yell at an Australian private.

Officer: did you come here to die!!!

Private: no sir I came here yesterday.


(Must say in Australian accent.)

The first person to invent a drill must've said,

I've made a groundbreaking invention!

What do a drill Sargent and a pediatrician have in common?

Little patients.

"You have three wishes!"

"Oh no, I know the drill. Whatever I wish for, will come back and bite me."

"What? No, I'm a good genie. Listen, if it does, I will even give you infinite wishes"

"I want a boomerang with teeth."

An engineer and a machinist are tasked with drilling a hole into a the deck of a ship.

They arrive on site, the engineer confirms the position of the hole, the machinist starts drilling. Before they reach the required depth, oil starts spewing out the flutes of the drill bit -- they've drilled into the oil tank.

"How're we gonna explain this to the boss?" -- asks the machinist.

"Look, buddy, I have no idea what *we* are gonna do, but what *I'm* gonna do is move that hole 5 inches to the left on the blueprint."

My grandfather was a peeping tom. He used to drill holes in the floor and spy on the people in the flat below.

He died recently, but I like thinking about him up there somewhere, looking down on us.

My friend didn't take one of his power tools seriously.

Luckily it was just a drill.

My wife said, "Do you know that a healthy human thigh bone is tougher than concrete?"

"Yes, I believe you," I replied, "now please put away the drill."

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar holding a screwdriver over his head. "Ladies and gentlemen!" he yells. "This is not a drill!"

The Drill Sergeant

A drill sergeant runs his platoon of recruits all over the camp in the hot sun with heavy packs on. As they stand there, exhausted, he puts his face right up to one recruit's face and says, "I'll bet you're wishing I would die so you could come and pee on my grave, aren't you?"
The recruit responds, "No, sir! When I get out of the army I'm never gonna stand in another line again."

What do you call a Hammerhead Shark who's operating a Drill Rig?

A Flathead Screw driver.

A Ukrainian sailor was drilling holes in a Russian oligarch's yacht...

A police officer approaches the sailor and asks him what he is doing.

The sailor puts down the drill and says, "Oh, me? Uhhhm... as a matter of fact, I am here to bless the ship."

The police officer looks skeptical, "You're here to bless the ship?"

"Yes, that's right! I am making it very holy."

What was the drill sergeant's favorite month?

MARCH!

Why did the drill sergeant like playing tetris?

He liked to order things into lines

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the drill oil jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working drill depth piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes