Drill Jokes
137 drill jokes and hilarious drill puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drill that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article offers a selection of jokes based around drills and drilling related topics. From drill sergeants and bits to fire, tornado, electric and dentist drills, learn something new and get a few laughs at the same time. See how far you can drill down and find the practical joke that goes deeper than the rest.
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Funniest Drill Short Jokes
Short drill jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drill humour may include short drum jokes also.
- All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together. At first it's boring, then it's riveting.
- Sometimes at work... ...I like to run around with a screwdriver and yell "Attention everybody! This is not a drill!"
- A guy tried to tell me about a tool that makes holes in hard materials, but I stopped him. I know the drill.
- Not all construction work is equally enjoyable. For instance, drilling a large hole is boring, but fastening two pieces of metal together is riveting.
- What's the difference between a feminist and a dentist's drill? One causes a lot of pain and makes a constant high pitched whine. The other is a useful piece of medical equipment.
- It's important for military engineers to know what an impact driver is. This is not a drill
- What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I didn't drill a hole in the bathroom wall to see a lentil.
- A peephole was found drilled into the wall of a women's locker room in a gym in Manhattan. ...........The police are looking into it.
- A marriage contract does not make the wife the property of the man. It does, however, give him exclusive drilling rights.
- What does Bill Cosby and a dentist have in common? They knock you out before they drill your cavity.
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Drill One Liners
Which drill one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drill? I can suggest the ones about screwdriver and well digging.
- Is it possible to be bored to death? That all depends on the drill.
- What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform? Send crudes.
- I quit my job drilling ventilation holes in jet engines... ...it was just plane boring.
- I started work at a drilling site and left soon after. It was a boring job.
- I once had a job drilling holes I left because it was boring
- I used to be afraid of the dentist But now I know the drill.
- The first person to invent a drill must've said, I've made a groundbreaking invention!
- I have the most boring job of all... I run an oil drill rig.
- What was the drill sergeant's favorite month? MARCH!
- This is Hammer, this is Screwdriver, this is The Wrench... You know The Drill.
- I've been to the dentist a few times before, so I know the drill.
- I could never be a drill instructor It sounds like it would be quite boring.
- Are you a drill sargeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.
- Gotta go to a lecture on drilling techniques. Talk about boring.
- My friend didn't take one of his power tools seriously. Luckily it was just a drill.
Dentist Drill Jokes
Here is a list of funny dentist drill jokes and even better dentist drill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A dentist goes to another dentist to fix a cavity. When his dentist started to explain the procedure, he stopped him and said, "Don't worry, I know the drill."
- What do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier? A Drill Sergeant
- What do a dentist and a tennis coach have in common? They both use drills!
- A career change can happen quickly in today's society. For example, there once was a dentist who became a brain surgeon within a matter of seconds.
All it took was for his drill to slip. - I know my dentist loves golf, but I still hate his approach with that dental drill... "GET IN THE HOLE!!!"
- What did the dentist say to his patient when he got his drill out? Brace for impact.
- My dentist uses nitrous oxide to save on his electric bill He doesn't need his drills to spin cause he just makes the whole room spin instead.
- Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
- I'm in your mom's phone as "The Dentist" She always calls me when she needs her cavities drilled.
Drill Sergeant Jokes
Here is a list of funny drill sergeant jokes and even better drill sergeant puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the drill sergeant get a dishonorable discharge? He couldn't keep his hands off his privates
- Why did the carpenter join the army? Because he wanted to be a Drill Sergeant
- Why does an octopus make a great drill sergeant? Because it's arm-y.
- Why did the drill sergeant like playing tetris? He liked to order things into lines
- Australian in the US army A drill sergeant is yell at an Australian private.
Officer: did you come here to die!!!
Private: no sir I came here yesterday.
(Must say in Australian accent.) - My granddad had the most boring job in the Army... He was a Drill Sergeant.
- In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
Drill Instructor Jokes
Here is a list of funny drill instructor jokes and even better drill instructor puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I recently lost my job as a drill instructor... ...who knew you weren't supposed to beat your privates in public?!
- Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning? That's how he mustard the troops.
- ROTC PT drill instructor: "Are you TIRED of doing pushups yet, cadet!? " "Tired as an 18-wheeler, sir!"
- Drill Instructor: Now ev'rybody dig your helmets in! Did I say something about puttting them off?
- Where did the drill instructor live? A TIN HUT!
Fire Drill Jokes
Here is a list of funny fire drill jokes and even better fire drill puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why are hens so good at fire drills? They always know where to egg sit.
- What is Neymar's favorite drill to practice? The fire drill
- My friends got tired of the "Chinese Fire Drill". Instead, we shout "Triangle Fire Drill", lock the car doors and scream until we reach our destination.
- The blind construction worker at my school accidentally pulled the fire alarm. I don't think the fire alarm was a drill.
- What did the fireman say when he noticed his hammer was on fire? This is not a drill.
- How many fire drills does the school of vine require in a year? Ten-drills.
Charming Humor Drill Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about drill you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drill pranks.
Do you know how they manufacture minuscule drill bits?
A little bit at a time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Alright guys, we have lots of pictures to mount before the art gallery tonight. Like I said in the email, we'll have to use these adhesive hooks. Under no circumstances will you p**... the wall with nails or screws. Tim, I've noticed you've already hung one picture. Great job.
Tim (hiding his drill and muttering under his breath): welp.. I s**... that up.
A nerd was walking home from the comic book store and tripped over a green lantern.
He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie. "Three wishes, kid. You know the drill." The kid thought about it for only a second and said, "I want to be just like Batman." "No sweat," said the genie, "I'll be back for your two other wishes after I'm finished with your parents."
A stuttering man wants to join the army
So he arrives at the base and gets in line. The first man approaches the drill seargent.
"Soldier, what do you want to do?"
"I want to drive a tank!" He is put to the tanks
The next man approaches. "I want to fly a plane!". So he takes to the skies in a fighter jet.
The stutterer then comes up.
"What do you want to to?"
"uh....uh-uh-uh---uh-uh-uh-uh..."
He was put in charge of the machine guns.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One soldier
As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Network administrator
A network administrator decided to join the military, and as part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range.
After taking a hundred shots and missing every one, the man's DI (drill instructor) came by to see what was wrong.
"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Why can't you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
"I was a network administrator," replied the new recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."
The recruit checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off.
"Well," the he said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"
A drill sergeant and his cadet..
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets. As he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
Why are power tools good for bank robberies?
They know the drill.
Three women were sitting around throwing back a few drinks and talking about their love lives.
Tracy said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does." Cathy giggled and confessed, "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft." Dawn quietly sipped her whiskey until Tracy asked, "Say, what do you call your husband?" Dawn frowned and said, "The postman." "Why the postman?" asked Cathy. "Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."
This might be an uncomfortable subject for some...
But we need to start talking about Germany's plans to drill for oil in 2940.
I went up north to drill oil, didn't get payed
Turns out, it was all rigged.
The manager of my power drill company was doing so well I promoted him to head of the cement mixer division.
One good turn deserves another.
What did the hammer announce over the intercom to the evacuating screws screaming for help?
"This is not a drill!"
Bridge blown up
During a drill a bridge is labeled with a sign as blown up. To his anger the drill instructor sees a whole platoon crossing the bridge. The last soldier has a sign on his back. The instructor pulls out his binoculars. The sign reads: We're swimming.
A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon...
A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon.
He is walking up and down the line of men, complementing, or insulting the men on their work in the field that day.
Finally, he reaches a private at the end of the line.
In a gruff voice, he yells "PRIVATE, I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING TODAY."
Without being able to finish his sentence, the private interrupts his superior saying, "THANK YOU, SIR."
I just drilled a bunch of holes
It was a lot of boring work.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Drill Sergeant does a surprise bed check late at night
A Drill Sergeant does a surprise bed check late at night and discovers a private sneaking back into the barracks.
Sergeant: Private! What are you doing?
Private: Trying to sleep, sir!
Sergeant: You look like you just had s**..., boy. When did you last have s**...?
Private: 2010, sir!
Sergeant: 2010? That's a long time, son.
Private: Not really, sir! It's only 2045 right now.
A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox.
Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits.
A man is sitting in his dentist's waiting room and is visibly nervous.
A kindly nurse comes up to him and says, "Sir don't be nervous, the first time is always the hardest." The gentleman looks up at her and exclaims, 'Don't 'First Time,' me tutz - I've been to the Dentist a million times and I know the drill!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make holes in a fire?
With a fire drill.
Why did the fisherman drill a hole in the ice?
For the Halibut
What do you call a drill on the North Pole that just wants to get to know people?
An icebreaker
My friend and I always fight over the electric drill
It can get a little bit heated.
My doctor asked me if I was ready for my weekly trepanation
Yes. I know the drill.
Attention: This is not a drill!
Its a screw driver
I went to a drilling seminar today.
BORING!
My other grandfather was a peeping tom
he use to drill holes in the floor and spy on the people in the apartment below. He died recently but I kind of like thinking about him up there somewhere.....looking down on us.
I was drilling for water yesterday morning when the machine broke.
I'm not superstitious but it didn't auger well for the rest of the day, either.
Why did the drill operator hate his job?
It was boring.
A hammer is introduced to the members of a new toolbox,
The Hammer sees his old friend and the Wrench giving the tour says:
You know the drill but do you know the screwdriver?
You know the drill...
...it makes holes.
In life, people know the drill
It makes holes
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to e**... new recruits to the mess hall.
After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them
"There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up!
Eat up!
Get up!"
Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"
Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"
TIL the Titanic was scheduled to have an evacuation drill the same day it sank but was canceled by the captain.
Now let that sink in.
Have you heard about the drill bit?
Actually, it's too long. I wouldn't want to bore you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We had a fire drill at the s**... bank today...
But everyone gathered in the car park before the alarm went of, it was a p**... evacuation
I don't mind to drill a hole
It's just a little boring.
I saw my neighbour gluing his drill back together.
What a complete tool.
I used to work for a mining company . . .
It was a boring job; just a slow daily grind.
I would find myself in a depression everyday; unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
One day, the whole drill got to be too dull and as I was about to do something to remedy the situation, everything started to crumble down around me.
I decided I needed to get out of there in a hurry.
So I went for a drink, but as luck would have it, everyone refused to serve a miner.
I wanted a new drill for my birthday, so when my wife asked, I told her to get a Black and Decker...
She's due in court next week on a racially-aggravated assault charge.
What did the hammer say when a girl tried to use it to put a screw in the wall.
WARNING! WARNING! This is NOT a drill.
A mans wife goes in for a dental checkup.
After the appointment the doctor comes out to greet the man.
The man says "how was it?"
The doctor replies "Your wife has a lot of cavities that need to be filled."
The man replies "that must be hard on you."
The doctor replies "Not really I get paid every month to drill your wife."
John, the simulation is over.
This is not a drill. Please wake up John. You have to wake up now. This is the only way we can communicate to you. Don't worry, only you can see this.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is it called when you leave your office building well before the fire drill begins?
p**... evacuation
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have an evil masterplan.
I'm going to drill a huge hole through the Moon and thread a massive piece of string through it.
Then I will finally be able to conker the World
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you guys heard of the serial killer that uses a power drill as his m**... weapon of choice?
It was reported that he had bored all of his victims to death.
I was going to show you a video about a drill machine digging a tunnel.
But it's too boreing.
I made it into my school's honor band, and we had to try on suits to see which ones fit.
I went late in the order, and my suit didn't fit, so I had to change into a different suit. That one fit, so I went to the bathroom to change out of it. In between taking my dress pants off and putting my regular pants off there was a fire drill.
It really caught me with my pants down.
This actually happened to me.
two screws in a toolbox and one says to the other "do I have to go first?" the other replies...
"come on, you know the drill."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of soldiers stood in formation at an army base.
The drill sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out!"
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow.
The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
What do a drill Sargent and a pediatrician have in common?
Little patients.
An engineer and a machinist are tasked with drilling a hole into a the deck of a ship.
They arrive on site, the engineer confirms the position of the hole, the machinist starts drilling. Before they reach the required depth, oil starts spewing out the flutes of the drill bit -- they've drilled into the oil tank.
"How're we gonna explain this to the boss?" -- asks the machinist.
"Look, buddy, I have no idea what *we* are gonna do, but what *I'm* gonna do is move that hole 5 inches to the left on the blueprint."
My grandfather was a peeping tom. He used to drill holes in the floor and spy on the people in the flat below.
He died recently, but I like thinking about him up there somewhere, looking down on us.
