Drill Instructor Jokes
14 drill instructor jokes and hilarious drill instructor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drill instructor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Drill Instructor Short Jokes
Short drill instructor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drill instructor humour may include short drill sergeant jokes also.
- I recently lost my job as a drill instructor... ...who knew you weren't supposed to beat your privates in public?!
- Why did the drill instructor squirt condiments on his trainees in the morning? That's how he mustard the troops.
- ROTC PT drill instructor: "Are you TIRED of doing pushups yet, cadet!? " "Tired as an 18-wheeler, sir!"
- Did you hear what happened to the private who got caught sleeping with his drill instructor's Chlamydia infected wife? He got an oily discharge.
- Drill Instructor: Now ev'rybody dig your helmets in! Did I say something about puttting them off?
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Drill Instructor One Liners
Which drill instructor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drill instructor? I can suggest the ones about instructor and drill.
- I could never be a drill instructor It sounds like it would be quite boring.
- Where did the drill instructor live? A TIN HUT!
Share Hilarious Drill Instructor Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about drill instructor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean driving instructor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drill instructor pranks.
One soldier
As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out."
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
Network administrator
A network administrator decided to join the military, and as part of his basic training, he went out on the rifle range.
After taking a hundred shots and missing every one, the man's DI (drill instructor) came by to see what was wrong.
"What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Why can't you hit the target? What were you in civilian life?"
"I was a network administrator," replied the new recruit, "and I don't know why I can't hit the target. Let me see..."
The recruit checked his rifle, checked his rifle again, and checked his rifle a third time. He then put his finger in front of the muzzle, pulled the trigger, and blew the end of his finger off.
"Well," the he said, writhing in pain, "the bullets are leaving here fine. The trouble must be on the other end!"
One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to e**... new recruits to the mess hall.
After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them
"There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up!
Eat up!
Get up!"
Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?"
Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Drill Sergeant!"
A group of soldiers stood in formation at an army base.
The drill sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out!"
As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow.
The soldier smiled and said, "Sure was a lot of 'em, huh, sir?"
Bridge blown up
During a drill a bridge is labeled with a sign as blown up. To his anger the drill instructor sees a whole platoon crossing the bridge. The last soldier has a sign on his back. The instructor pulls out his binoculars. The sign reads: We're swimming.
The Marine Corp and the radio
One month into Marine Corps training in San Diego, California, we were preparing for a ten-mile march in 100-degree weather when a jeep drove up with a large radio in the back.
"Who knows anything about radios?" our drill instructor asked.
Several hands went up, and anticipating a ride in the jeep, recruits began listing their credentials. Everything from a degree in communications to a part-time job in a repair shop was declared.
The DI listened to all the contenders, then pointed to the most qualified. "You!" he barked. "Carry the radio."