The Best 53 Dried Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dried jokes. There are some dried raisin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dried sweat puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dried Jokes and Puns

I'm gonna start telling people the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It's all about "raisin" awareness

Tasteless but SFW

What do you call a group of elderly virgins?

Dried Cherries

Did you hear about the 80 year old man who ran naked through the flower show?

...he won first place for a dried arrangement!

Dried joke, Did you hear about the 80 year old man who ran naked through the flower show?

Every time I bet I push the limits.

I tell the dealer, I want to put the dried grapes on the T-bones. Then I shout raisin the steaks, as I slam down more chips!

I Enjoyed Your Joke, soue13, I've Also Come Up With One. At Age 25..

Did you guys hear about the dried grape at the party last night?

He was really RAISIN the roof!

I was doing the dishes and i realized..

If we could cover our Military vehicles in dried egg yolk we would be unstoppable.

Today in the stock market...

Feathers are down, while escalators have continued on their slow decline. The market for raisins has dried up. Scott Tissue reached a new bottom, while paper remained stationary. There is is some good news, however: helium is up, and elevators rose, as well.

Dried joke, Today in the stock market...

What do you call it when someone makes a beverage by pouring water on dried herbs while naked?


If all the seas were dried up, what would Neptune say?

I really haven't got a notion.

Would you like to hear a joke about dried grapes?

It's not that good, don't go raisin your expectations.

What does the dryer say to the laundry when it's still moist?

I dried my best.

You can explore dried smelt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dried blob dad jokes. There are also dried puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I met a girl who didn't like dried fruit.

Well I certainly couldn't interest her in a date.

What's beef jerky?

Dried parts of a cow that had Parkinson's.

I tried to convince the grape that she had dried out...

But I just couldn't raisin with her.

I'll see myself out.

What looks like red paint but is dry?

Dried red paint

I used to do plumbing work but I'm all dried up

So I do pruning now

Dried joke, I used to do plumbing work but I'm all dried up

What do you call a waterfall that's all dried up?

A waterfell.

I just heard a dried up grape won the lottery, got a supermodel girlfriend and won a brand new car.

I guess everything happens for a raisin.

Do they have 4Rivers in California?

They used to, but they all dried up.

What do you call a psychotic Japanese person who likes dried fruit?

A craisin.

I asked a lady friend if she fancied coming around and sharing a dried exotic fruit..

She said it sounds like a date

Lady Gaga invited me to her winery and gave me several crates of dried grapes as a gift...

She said she was giving me a million raisins.

What do you call a dried up Chinese guy?



An old grape farmer

There was once an old grape farmer who had went through many droughts. When his grapes had fallen and dried, all he could've said was "Everything happens for a rasin"

I met someone online who shares my fetish for urinating on dried fruit...

Next week we're going to go on a date

What do you call a 90 year old gay person?

Dried fruit.

What did the two dried fish say to each other?

"Hey! Long time, no sea."

Would you like to go and eat some dried fruit?

Great, then it's a date!

I know the feeling...

An auto mechanic in the hospital was chatting nervously with his surgeon while being prepped for an operation. "Sometimes I wish I'd gone into your line of work," he told the doctor. "Everything you doctors do is so cut and dried and tidy. With me, I spend half a day taking an engine apart and putting it back together, and it seems like I always have a couple of parts left over."

"Yes," said the surgeon. "I know the feeling."

Whaddya call a gay mummy?

A dried fruit

A treasure hunter found gold inside a pile of dried turds.

He went through a lot of hard-shits to get it.

I'm not exactly sure why my friend likes dried grapes so much...

... but I'm sure he has his raisins.

Why did the woman take dried fruit to the calendar convention?

Because she had a date date date

I was just washing up in the kitchen with the back door open, when an owl suddenly flew in, dried all the pots, put them away and flew off.

it was a Teat Owl

The new VP

Guy comes home from work and tells his wife, "Guess what? They made me a VP!"

She says, "Big deal. Our grocery store has a VP of apples."

He doesn't believe her, calls the grocery store, asks the clerk to speak to the VP of apples.

Clerk says, "Dried or fresh?"

Not many people know about the benefits of eating dried grapes

Someone needs to be raisin awareness

I've decided to start an educational campaign to tell people about the health benefits of eating dried grapes...

It's all about raisin awareness...

Wait, you didn't hear about the terrorist attack on the Dried Fruits and Nuts convention?

I guess you don't follow currant events.

Kids helping mom.

Father: What did you do today to help your mother?
Son: I dried the dishes
Daughter: And I helped pick up the pieces.

Guy walks into a bar, orders 2 shots. Dumps one on the ground.

Bartender asks who it was for. Guy replies "my unborn child"
"Sorry to hear man, what happened?" Asked the bartender.
Guy looked him square in the eye "dried up in a sock."

Sean Connery had fallen on hard times. His work had completely dried up.

Then one day out of the blue his agent rang and said "Sean, I've got a job for you. It starts tomorrow, you've got to get there early, for 10'ish." Sean frowned "For 10'ish? But I havent even got a racket!"

My friend travels from town to town giving seminars on the health benefits of eating dried grapes.

He is just out there, raisin awareness.

Hear about the fire at the dried fruits factory?

It was an apricotastrophe.

I was telling my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruits recently

It's really all about raisin awareness.

I've started to spread the word about the benefits of dried grapes

I'm just raisin awareness

A couple goes to therapy

A couple goes to therapy to discuss their issues.

The therapist asks. So, why are we here today?

The husband quickly try to explain.

So what happened was, that I was cleaning up in the kitchen, while putting something away I spilled a bunch of dried herbs all over the place. My wife then yells for help with folding the sheets in the bedroom and I simply replied.

"I can't right now, I have too much thyme on my hands"

I found recipe in a Moroccan book for rolls.

It calls for fresh thyme, but I only had dried thyme and it was expired. I made it anyway and I really like that old thyme Moroccan roll!

I accidentally sat on a bag of dried fruit the other day

Guess I *have* been on a date this year!

What do you call it when dried grapes start a riot

Raisin' hell

This year I'm on a crusade to tell everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes

It's about raisin awareness

Sago Palm fronds, dried and ground, make an excellent, all natural laxative. The best part?

With fronds like these, who needs enemas?

How do you address an audience full of dried seeds?

"Ladies and lentil-men...."

When I am bored I enjoy rubbing dried herbs into my palms.

I have way too much Thyme on my hands.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dried soil jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dried muddy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes