The Best 86 Dressing Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dressing jokes. There are some dressing coleslaw jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dressing ranch dressing puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dressing Jokes and Puns

My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness so he wouldn't arouse suspicion.

He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.

This year for Halloween, I'm dressing up as the scariest thing I can imagine

Myself, but more successful

Why was the lettuce embarrassed?

It saw the salad dressing.

Halloween is for dressing up as something you're not.

That's why most girls go as something sexy.

jokes about dressing

I found some dressing in my fridge that expires on 12-21-2012....

It's called Mayanaisse....


What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Customer: I'd like to try on that bathing suit in your front window.

Saleswoman: I'm sorry, ma'am, but you'll have to use the dressing room.

Dressing joke, Customer: I'd like to try on that bathing suit in your front window.

I'm dressing up as a (dead) hooker for Halloween...what are some lines you NEVER want to hear a hooker say?

For example, "I just need to put some ointment on my herpes, and then we are good to go."

I know, I'm terrible at this! Please help!

Why shouldn't you look at a cup of ranch?

Because it's still dressing.

A man would come home very late and very drunk every night.

His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.

When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon.

He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"

what did the ranch say to the refrigerator?

close the door, I'm dressing!

You can explore dressing romaine reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dressing outfit dad jokes. There are also dressing puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Fleetwood Mac

Money has gone missing from Fleetwood Mac's dressing room again.

They're starting to suspect Stevie Nicks.

Why did the cucumber blush?

Because it saw the salad dressing.

If you dress in cowboy clothes does that mean you're ranch dressing?

This is Bullshit. Since when is dressing for the job you want, not the job you have considered "impersonating an officer"?

If you're wearing a cowboy outfit...

Does that mean you're ranch dressing?

Dressing joke, If you're wearing a cowboy outfit...

I like my women how I like my salad dressing

Extra Virgin

Your Turn

Out of prison. As a hooker was dressing, she turned to her customer and asked, "Have you just gotten out of prison?"

"Yeah," the guy replied.

"How did you guess? Is it because I wanted to have sex from the rear?"

"Partly." She said.

"But more because when we finished, you ran around in front of me, bent over, and shouted, 'YOUR TURN.'"

Why was the ketchup in the refrigerator embarrassed?

He saw the salad dressing! Thank you thank you..


Things Men Shouldn't Say in a Victoria's Secret Store

1. No thanks... Just sniffing.

2. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.

3. Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.

4. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.

5. Will you model this for me?

6. Oh, honey, I'll never fit into that.

7. $85? Are you kidding? She's just going to end up *naked* anyway!

My friends and I are all dressing as different Robin Williams characters at a Comic Con this weekend...

We're the Suicide Squad!

Why did the tomato turn red

It saw the salad dressing.

For Halloween, our daughter is dressing up as joke telling jack-o'-lantern.

She's our little pun-kin.

I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns.

It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops.

I like my hoes like I like my salad dressing...

On the side

For Halloween I'm dressing up as a plate.

Girls love to do dishes.

Dressing joke, For Halloween I'm dressing up as a plate.

Went to a nude beach today and let me tell you- I had a lot of women's attention.

I could just feel them dressing me with their eyes.

Going To The Movies

I told my wife I wanted to watch a movie about a billionaire playboy with a penchant for darkness, inflicting violence and dressing up in masks.

She got excited and asked, "Are we really go to see *50 Shades*?"

I laughed and told her I was talking about *The Lego Batman Movie*.

Where do Salads try on clothes?

The dressing room


You guys ever heard of Murphy's law?

Murphy's law states that if anything can go wrong, it will go wrong.

You guys ever heard of Cole's law? Its thinly sliced cabbage with a vinaigrette, salad dressing.

Why did the woman blush when she opened her refrigerator?

Because she saw the salad dressing.

I had never heard this until today. Made me chuckle a bit.

I'm losing my 30 year old virginity on Halloween.

I'm dressing up as a coconut.

Wake up!

Following a serious argument couple decide not to talk to each other for a while.
Next night husband leaves a note on the kitchen desk: Wake me up at 6 in the morning, I have a flight.
When he wakes up at 8, panics and as he rushes to dressing room, sees a note at the bedside table: Wake up, it is 6!

I have a friend who is a cross dressing dwarf. Does that mean he's gay?

I means he's a little gay.


I'm dressing as the Republican healthcare bill for Halloween.

I won't be leaving the house.

(Heard this on the podcast Fake the Nation and thought you all would like it.)

I'm dressing up as Commitment this halloween

Well everyone's afraid of it.

The jumper ....

A Truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
"What are you doing?" he says.
"I'm trying to commit suicide," she says.
Sleazy driver says with sly grin "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a blow job."
So, she does.
After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! That's a wasted talent. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl....."

My drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah's Witness as a disguise...

He eventually got arrested after the police saw that people actually let him in

What's happening in this country? School children dressing like whores...

-and whores dressing like school children. It's a nightmare!
You don't know whether to carry candy or cash.

I had great fun dressing up as a farmer...

It was a good overall experience.

If you put on cowboy clothes,

are you technically, ranch dressing?

Have you heard of Murphy's Law?

Yes it's if something can go wrong it will go wrong.

Have you heard of Coles Law?

No. What's that?

It's finely shredded raw cabbage in a dressing.

Murphy's Law states that anything that can happen, will happen. But are you familiar with Cole's Law?

It's finely-shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.

Customer: Can I try on that dress in the window?

Saleslady: We really prefer you do so in the dressing room

Dressing like a nun seems like something I'd like to do, but I've heard it's addictive

and I don't want to get into the habit.

I really excel at dressing up in armour

It's my strongest suit

Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him

Arnold Schwarzenegger's girlfriend broke up with him in hopes that it would be enough to stop him from dressing up as classical composers for halloween.

But deep down, she still knew that he'd be bach.

I always knock on the front door of my fridge ...

Just in case there is a salad dressing.

You may know Murphy's law, but have you heard of Coles law?

It is a side dish consisting primarily of finely shredded raw cabbage with a salad dressing, commonly either vinaigrette or mayonnaise.

I always knock on the fridge before opening it.

Just in case there's a salad dressing

Two women were dressing in the locker room after their aerobics class when one noticed that the other was pulling on a pair of men's briefs. "So when did you start wearing men's underwear?" the first asked.

"Ever since my husband found a strange
pair under the bed."

I always knock on the fridge door before opening it...

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

Why did the ketchup blush?

He saw the salad dressing.

I always knock before I open a fridge

Just in case there's a salad dressing

Why was the tomato blushing?

Because he saw the salad dressing!

Have you heard about Murphy's Law? Yes. Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. How about Cole's Law?

No. It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing.

I always knock on the refrigerator door before I open it.

There might be a salad dressing.

Why was the tomato blushing?

He saw the salad dressing.

You should always knock on the fridge door..

Just in case there's a salad dressing.

A woman walks into a bar

She sits at the counter and orders a salad with croutons and a creamy dressing.

The waiter delivers her salad, and she hands him a crisp $20 bill. As the waiter walks back to the cash register he holds it to the light and realizes it's a counterfeit! He snaps around to see the woman grabbing her salad and running for the door.

He shouts at the top of his lungs "Seize her salad!"

I raised money for charity by dressing up as Cruella De Ville.

I had 101 donations.

What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

Close the door! I'm dressing!

I went to my tailor and asked if I could try on the suit in the window.

"Sure," he said, "but wouldn't it be more comfortable if you used the dressing room?"

Why should you knock on a fridge door before opening?

Could be a salad dressing

A few minutes after she was hired, the boss and the secretary got up from the couch in the office and started dressing.

"I want to confess", the secretary says as she lifts her pants.

"I hope it does not mess up our relationship after what has just happened on the couch. But I don't really type as fast as I said in the interview."

"It's okay", the new boss replies, "I want to confess, too, and I hope it doesn't mess up our relationship - I'm not the boss here at all, I'm the cleaner…

She caught me cross dressing and said it's over

So I packed her clothes and left

My 4 year old nieces jokes:

Why did the lobster flush?
Because the sea weed.

Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad dressing.

What did the little flower say to the big flower?
Hi ya bud.

Knock knock.
Whose there?
Ice cream .
Ice cream who?
Ice cream so you can hear me!

Always make sure to knock on your fridge door before opening..

There is a chance there might be a salad dressing

I went to see my doctor today with a lettuce stuck in my butt.

He just applied a dressing and sent me home.

Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!

Have a good afternoon!

After a group of scientists invented a tasteless orally ingestible Covid vaccine they had a meeting to decide which products would be best to put it in to get to finally get to 100% coverage in America.

Ranch dressing will get 98% and Horse dewormer paste to cover the last 2%

What kind of salad dressing does a sneaky burglar use?

Hidden Alley Ranch.

My wife caught me cross dressing today, and said it's over.

So I packed her clothes and left.

I always make sure to knock on the fridge before opening

Just in case there is a salad dressing

Why should you always knock on the door before you open the fridge?

Because there might be a salad dressing!

My wife caught me cross dressing and told me it was over.

So I packed all her clothes and left.

On their wedding night, the couple ordered a "Honeymoon Salad"

Lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Why did the tomato turn red?

Because he saw the salad dressing!

Lol πŸ˜‚

What is the deal with strip club food?

It lacks dressing

Why should you knock on a refrigerator door before opening it?

In case there's a salad dressing

What did the chicken do when he went to the farming convention?

He put on ranch dressing.

\[should be original by my son\]

What do you call a cross dressing vampire?

Dragula

Why should you knock before opening a refrigerator door?

Because their might be salad dressing.

I went to a nudist restaurant once.

Food was good but I didn't like the dressing.

I spent the afternoon walking around with my fly wide open

I finally realised it after I caught a girl dressing me with her eyes

My friend is such a homophobe…

He thinks the Trans-Siberian Orchestra is a band of cross dressing Russians.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dressing costume puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dressing dressed as satan piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes