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Dressed Santa Jokes

21 dressed santa jokes and hilarious dressed santa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dressed santa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Dressed Santa Short Jokes

Short dressed santa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dressed santa humour may include short mall santa jokes also.

  1. I remember when I was younger lying there in bed waiting for Santa to come.. I also remember the awkward silence while waiting for him to get dressed and leave.
  2. Why is Santa Claus always a man? Because no woman will wear same dress year after year for same occasion.
  3. As a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
  4. Next time I see a dead deer on the side of the road I'm going to leave and come back dressed as Santa with a sign that says, "Help, need ride!"
  5. I remember as a child, lying awake at night on Christmas Eve waiting for Santa to come... ...then there was always that awkward silence as he got dressed and left.
  6. I found a dead deer by the side of the road. So I went back later dressed as Santa and flagged people over telling them I needed a ride. Their kids in the back seat went berserk!
  7. The U.S. instituted a new law after a man dressed as Santa committed a felony. It was called the Santa Clause.
  8. A little boy asks a dealer in an alley dressed like Santa Claus, "Santa, how do your reindeer fly?"
    He replies, "With magic, of course!-
    You want some magic?"
  9. Hey, girl, do you believe in Santa... Or should I smash through your chimney dressed as something else?
  10. I remember as a child lying in bed and waiting for Santa Claus to come. And how afterwards it would be so silent and awkward as he got dressed to leave.

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Dressed Santa One Liners

Which dressed santa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dressed santa? I can suggest the ones about santa christmas and santa claus.

  1. What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa? Santa Claws
  2. I don't usually dress up as santa But when i do i get all the h**...

Giggle-Inducing Dressed Santa Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about dressed santa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean santa reindeer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dressed santa pranks.

Two tickets to the super bowl

A good buddy of mine has 2 Super Bowl tix, 40 yard line box seats. He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. Prob bc of the extra game this year.
If you're interested, he's looking for someone to take his place... Try to be on time. It's at Calvary church in Santa Monica at 3pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too. She'll be in the white dress.

Some dude went to a Halloween party dressed as Santa.

He was approached by someone who said "Really? You dressed as Santa?"
The man replied "Almost. You see, I went commando."
The person was surprised at the response. So he asked "why does that change anything?"
The man smiled, and slyly replied "Today, I am dressed as Saint Knicker-less"

If michael jackson was dressed as santa claus how would he get in your house?

Down the chimi-NE-HE!

Why did the lawyer have to dress as Santa on his company's christmas party?

Because he didn't read the Santa Clause.

I have a friend who won't admit that he dresses up as Santa every year.

He's pretty deep in the Clauset.

A Blonde woman had a christmas fantasy

She had a dream of doing santa claus, and so in the 24th she got all dressed up with l**..., and put some perfume as well, by the time Santa was there, she asked if he wanted something "special", he replied "thank you, but I must deliever other presents".Not convinced, she took off her p**... and repeated the question, he declined. Then she decided to take off her full clothing and grabbing santa claus. She repeated the question, santa claus though for a while and said:
"Well, now if we don't do it, I won't be able to fit the chimney"

Santa's Jokes

Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.
Question: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So he can h**...-h**...-h**....
Question: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Answer: Frostbite.
Question: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf esteem.
Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.
Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.
Question: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Answer: Snowflakes.
Question: Why did the little girl change her mind about buying her grandmother a packet od handkerchiefs for Christmas?
Answer: She said "I could not work out what size her nose was!
Question: What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
Answer: It was wound up already.
Question: What was wrong with the boy's brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?
Answer: Forty feet of track - all straight!
I wanna tell you what kind of luck I've got. If this year I cornered the mistletoe market, they'd postpone Christmas.
Christmas: When you exchange hellos with strangers and good buys with friends.
Christmas is the time when people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don't know if they're celebrating the birth of Jesus or General Electric.
Do you know what it is like to put up fifteen hundred Christmas lights on the roof of a house? The kids are giving two to one I'm gonna come down the chimney before Santa Claus does.
Christmas in Los Angeles is always interesting. Seeing carolers dressed in Bermuda shorts...groping their way through the smog singing: "It came upon a midnight clear."
Every Christmas pageant throughout the world has a scene showing Joseph leading Mary into Bethlehem on a donkey. Do you realize what would happen if the Republicans asked for equal time?
Did you hear about the Beverly Hills school Christmas pageant? Two kids dressed as Mary and Joseph and they are on their way to the inn in Bethlehem. On the other side of the stage, a boy in a shepherd's outfit is on a mobile/ cellular phone, calling for reservations.
Sometimes I get the feelin that if Christmas, Father's Day and birthdays did not exist, then aftershave too, would not exist.