The Best 40 Dreaming Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dreaming jokes. There are some dreaming awake jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dreaming gaynor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Dreaming Jokes and Puns

What do you wish to be when you grow up?

I dream of being a millionaire, like my father.
So, your father is a millionaire?
No, he's dreaming too

Ski Lodge

Three guys go to a ski lodge, unfortunately there isnt enough rooms so they have to share a bed.

In the middle of the night one of the guys wakes up and says "I just had an amazing dream that I was getting a handjob!"

The one on the opposite side responds "really? So did I!"

The guy in the middle groggily says "I was just dreaming that I was skiing."

What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

Dreaming joke, What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song?

Last night I was dreaming...

So last night I was dreaming that I was writing *The Hobbit* and *The Lord of the Rings* books but my wife complained that I was very loud and disturbed her sleep.

Apparently I was tolkien in my sleep.

The wife

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.Β 

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment! Β 

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day! Β 

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.Β 

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.Β 

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"Β 

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."


Egg timer

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.Β 

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, "You've got to make love to me this very moment! Β 

My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day! Β 

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.Β 

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.Β 

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"Β 

She explained, "The egg timer's broken."

A Jewish guy was dreaming that he was drinking with some friends

When it was time to pay the bill, he woke up.

Dreaming joke, A Jewish guy was dreaming that he was drinking with some friends

Everyone was dreaming of working for Steve Jobs

except his pancreas

What is the favorite Christmas Carol of the Aryan brotherhood?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

My wife says our sex life is like Inception

She's usually dreaming while I try to go deeper.

A man goes in to talk to his psychologist.

A man says to his psychologist, "I keep dreaming that I'm a sadistic, necrophiliac zoophile. Should I be worried, or am I just beating a dead horse?"

You can explore dreaming visions reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dreaming dream dad jokes. There are also dreaming puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I wish lucid dreaming was more controllable

Not the duration of lucid dreaming but the destinations I visit. I'm tired of going to McDonalds at 2am

dreaming again

"Please help me doctor, I have a bowel movement every morning at 7!"

"But that is a very healthy thing, Mr. Richards!"

"It would be, if I didn't usually wake up at 8:30!"

If a dog tells you you're dreaming...

believe him.

Last night I woke up in the middle of dreaming about the meaning of life.

It was very eye opening.

I got into lucid dreaming recently

its everything I imagined it to be.

Dreaming joke, I got into lucid dreaming recently

Last night my sister woke up because of a nightmare.

This morning my grandfather asked her, "Why are you dreaming of horses?"

Get it, horses are "mares"... Night"mares" hehe plz don't hurt me

There were three men staying at a ski lodge

They ran out of rooms so all three had a to share a bed
The guy on the right said "I had a really weird drama that I was getting a hand job"
The guy on the left says "I had that exact same dream as well"
Then the guy in the middle said "You perverts, I was dreaming that I was skiing"

I had a dream I was dreaming...

Woke up to find I wasn't dreaming.

This may be bad but at least you're happy with your life.


Donald Trump went to sleep.

He was dreaming and he saw Abraham Lincoln. He asked him what is the best way for him to serve the country. Abraham Lincoln then said "go see a play".

Who's guilty here?

A wife is dreaming while asleep in the bed, she suddenly wakes up and shouts, "quick, my husband is home!"

Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window!

What's Luigi's favorite dish at a seafood restaurant?

It's a Cala-Mario!

I thought of this joke while I was dreaming one night and laughed myself awake.

You know what every Asian is dreaming about?

30ms ping

Stop dreaming about pizza delivery by drone.

It's a pie-in-the-sky idea.

A wife was dreaming...

Suddenly she wakes up and yells "Quick get out my husband's home!" her husband hurriedly wakes up and jumps out the window.

A guy goes to the doctor and tells him "Lately I've been dreaming of squirrels playing soccer!"

the doctor says "No problem, take these pills before bed, and it will keep you from having strange dreams."

The guy says "Sounds great, but can i start tomorrow night, tonight are the finals!"

Unexpected morning sex:

I stumbled into the kitchen to see my wife cooking our usual breakfast of soft-boiled eggs and toast.
Barely awake, I thought perhaps I was dreaming when she suddenly took off her gown and demanded I make love with her there and then.
Soon finished, she turned back to the stove and said thanks . I said, My pleasure, dear, you seemed so inspired, thank you!

Dryly, she drawled, Don't get used to it, the egg timer's broken.

7

One night I was dreaming the number 7, over an over. To my amazement, when I woke up it was 7 o'clock, on July the 7th. So I took the bus on line 7 straight to the racetrack and bet 7777$ on the 7th horse from the 7th round. It finished on 7th.

I finally have life of my dreams...

Nothings changed, I've just started dreaming about being miserable

DREAMS AND WHY I HATE WAKING UP

Ever had dreams when you know you are dreaming but hope you never wake up?. I just had one now and I was very rich!

What would Freddie Mercury say, if he is dreaming about drowning in Orange juice?

Is this surreal life? Or is it FANTA-SEA?

What's the KKK's favourite festive track?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas....

The amount of food I consumed last night, was of Biblical proportions.

I'm now dreaming of a wide Christmas.

Last night I couldn't stop dreaming about being a car muffler

When I woke up this morning, I was exhausted

I'm so good at lucid dreaming

I can do it in my sleep

A joke originally told in Arabic

The doctor asks him what is that dreaming problem.

"Every night I go to sleep," the man says. "I dream of a soccer match between a team of elephants and a team of ants"

"Ok, take this medicine," the doctor says. "It will fix the problem."

The man refuses though and says:

"Can I take it tomorrow though? Today is the finals"

My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the Lord of The Rings trilogy.

She's Tolkien in her sleep.

A man spends his days studying archeology at university, and his nights dreaming of someday finding a girlfriend.

No matter how hard he tried, he could never master the techniques of dating.

Eventually, his professors had to fail him.

A man is talking to his doctor about a recurring dream he keeps having.

"I keep dreaming about a soccer match between elephants and mice" the patient said

"No worries" says the doctor and gives the patient some medicine, "take this just before bed and you'll have a dreamless sleep"

"Ok, thank you doctor" responded the man "but can I start it tomorrow? The finals are tonight"

A teacher is teaching a notorious class...

A teacher is teaching physics. Then he notices a boy is day dreaming. So the teacher asks that boy,
"Do you know who Albert Einstein is?"
The boy says "No, I don't".
"If you paid more attention to the lesson you should know" scolded the sir.
Then the boy asks the teacher "do you know who Kevin is?"
The teacher says "No I don't"
"If you paid more attention to your daughter you should know" said the boy.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dreaming lucid jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dreaming wake piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes