Dream Jokes
163 dream jokes and hilarious dream puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dream that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Dream Jokes - Looking for flirty dream jokes to make your dreamer's heart smile? Check out this collection of dream jokes and fantasize! Whether you're looking for dream jokes for him or dream jokes for her, these mufflers will make your dreamer laugh with delight.
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Funniest Dream Short Jokes
Short dream jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dream humour may include short illusion jokes also.
- My girl keeps having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!". Always Tolkien in her sleep...
- My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the lord of the rings trilogy. She's Tolkien in her sleep.
- What do you call a belt made out of lobsters? A waist of good seafood
I know it's bad but I heard it in a dream and had to share - Sweet dreams are made of cheese Who am I to diss-a-Brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody's looking for Stilton.
- Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
- I actually heard this joke in a dream this morning What do you call a little square that hasn't developed its new dimension yet?
Precubescent - I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today He said Dream on. I think that was really nice of him.
- Last night I dreamed I was the author of The Lord of the Rings. I've been Tolkien in my sleep.
- I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda. When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
- Last night I had a dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my giant marshmallow was gone.
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Dream One Liners
Which dream one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dream? I can suggest the ones about honeymoon and sleep.
- I had a dream where I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like 0mg
- I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before It was just a pigment of my imagination.
- Just woke up from a dream about Roman numerals 5, 4, 1, and 500. It was VIVID.
- What do you call a bunch of employees caught sleeping on the job? A Dream Team.
- I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil. It wasn't 2B.
- Never give up on your dreams... Stay in bed.
- Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams... and its dream was to be a submarine.
- Noone actually dreams in color. It's just a pigment of your imagination.
- All last night I dreamed I was a muffler... I woke up exhausted
- If you see a toilet in your dream, do not use it. It's a trap.
- They said I should follow my dreams So I went back to sleep.
- Landed my dream job at a guillotine factory Will beheading there tomorrow
- I had a dream in which my favorite pornstar died. I woke up with mourning wood.
- I would love to be paid to sleep It would be my dream job.
- I got into lucid dreaming recently its everything I imagined it to be.
I Had A Dream Jokes
Here is a list of funny i had a dream jokes and even better i had a dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The German dream The teacher is talking about the American Dream in class and then asks the one German kid if they had a German dream. He responds, "We did, but nobody liked it."
- Happy Pi Day Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.
Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?
Me: Not as far as anyone can tell. - I had a dream that my friend Martin became the ruler of all bath sponge. We called him Martin Loofah King.
- Woman stopped me at the station and said for twenty bucks she'd do things my wife would never dream of ... I gave her twenty bucks and she ironed three shirts.
- When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut. But my dad crushed those dreams years ago... He'd always say "For you, son, the sky's the limit!"
- Who's guilty here? A wife is dreaming while asleep in the bed, she suddenly wakes up and shouts, "quick, my husband is home!"
Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window! - Why do African Americans always have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot
- I keep having this recurring dream about a horse wearing a suit of armor Actually, it may be more of a knight mare.
- I made my wife's dreams come true and we were married in a castle. But you sure wouldn't have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around during the ceremony.
- I spent all day bobbing up and down in the water It's been my dream ever since I was a little buoy.
Living The Dream Jokes
Here is a list of funny living the dream jokes and even better living the dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a terrible dream of a dystopian future where robots controlled every aspect of our lives. Luckily, I was awakened by my Tesla.
- My best friend is a full-time professional sleep walker. He's living the dream.
- Old man here, I've lived my life.
But when I was young man, I dreamed of sleeping with a strange woman every night.
I just didn't think it would be the same one. - When I lived on the street, I always wanted to become a plumber, get a home, and run a business... But that was just a pipe dream.
- I called an old friend and asked how he's been. He said "living the dream." I told him, hey good to hear.
Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder. - My Nana's ninety three, but she's living the dream. The one where you go out in just your underwear and your teeth fall out.
- I made the love of live choose between me and her dream of being a professional athlete... She left me and became a famous tennis player, I should have known love meant nothing to her.
- [OC] My therapist asked me "How's it going?"..."Living the dream!" I replied. The joke's on him though... a nightmare is technically a dream.
- IM LIVING THE DREAM BOYS one nightmare at a time
- Why is Texas a gay man's dream place to live? Cause everything is bigger in Texas.
Dream Come True Jokes
Here is a list of funny dream come true jokes and even better dream come true puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang Just got accepted into police training, who says dreams don't come true.
- Here's one you might know... There once was a man from peru
who dreamed he was eating his shoe
he woke with a fright
in the middle of the night
to find that his dream had come true. - How to make your dreams come true? Have a Stage 4 Cancer
- So a guy wants to get a job Interviewer: Do you have any abilities?
Man: Yes, I never die.
Interviewer (Surprised) WOW, how do you do that?
Man: Because dreams never come true.... - Making 6 figures a year sounds like a dream come true... Unless you work for an action figure manufacturing company. Then it sounds like a quick way to the unemployment line.
- I had a dreamed I pooped the bed. So it turns out dreams can come true!
- Ryu, do you think I can make my dreams come true? Ryu: SHORYUKEN!
- Last night in my dream I was peeing in bed. Dreams do come true I realized in the morning.
- Harvard University I guess my dream is finally coming true. Among many people who applied for Harvard University,they chose me to be the janitor.
- My wife had a dream that I cheated on her. Now I can say with complete honesty that I made her wildest dreams come true.
American Dream Jokes
Here is a list of funny american dream jokes and even better american dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Talking about the American Dream in a college class and the prof asks: To a student from Germany, "Is there a Germany Dream?" He responded, "There was, but no one liked it."
- I would never dream of giving up my British citizenship
for tax purposes I'm an American - Canada The American dream
- Why do we call it "The American Dream"? Because you have to be sleeping to believe it.
- What would you call the American Dream if he had an old electric piano? Dusty Rhodes with a dusty Rhodes.
- Americans! Chasing the American Dream doesn't count as exercise.
- ISIS isn't the organization terrorizing the American dream... ICE is
Flirty Dream Jokes
Here is a list of funny flirty dream jokes and even better flirty dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Hi, can I follow you home tonight? Sorry, that came out a little strong, my mom always told me to follow my dreams.

Cheerful Fun Dream Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about dream you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vision jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dream pranks.
I sacrificed everything to pursue my dream of being an archeologist...
And now my life is in ruins.
"What do you dream of doing, kids?" Asked the teacher...
Jimmy: "I want to be a pilot"
Amber: "I want to be a teacher"
Stacy: "I want to be a good mother"
James: "I want to help Stacy to be a mother"
Sweet Dreams
"Doc, I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I was the only man in a nudist colony."
"My, my," responded the doctor. "Did you sleep well?"
"I tried," answered the patient, "but it was hard."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dreams.
3 guys are camping, and after a night of drinks & laughs around the fire, they climb into their tent and fall asleep side by side.
The next morning, the guy on the left wakes up smiling. "I had a dream I was getting j**... off all night by a supermodel!"
The guy on the right chimes in. "Me too, but it was my hot neighbour!"
The guy in the middle looks a bit dejected. "Lucky b**.... I just dreamed I was skiing."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have the punchline, can't remember the joke.
My father used to tell a joke, that involved the guy talking to a priest or therapist, and he is worried about a reoccurring dream that involves him having s**... with a chicken (can't remember who was doing what with who). It ends with the teller blowing a ripped up napkin all over the table.
Any help?
I dream of becoming a selfie photographer..
I can just picture myself doing it.
My daughter came home from school with an assignment that asked to to finish the phrase, "I have a dream..." this is what she came up with.
I have a dream...
That one day handicap people will be able to park wherever they want to.
Latvian Dreamin'
Little boy go to father. Is midnight. Say boy, "Father! I dream I is Mr. Potato! Have big eyes and smile! Even having shoes! I wish I Mr. Potato for all ever!"
Man woke in midnight all sudden. Rubs eyes. Remembers boy dead by mule, and is no potato. Only cold. Is all dream. Lay back on dirt. No smiles. No shoes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wanted to major in reverse psychology.
My dream school turned me down.
So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their s**... program. They sent me a diploma.
My old best friend ran off years ago to pursue his dream of becoming a mime...
I haven't heard from him since.
a teacher asks students
Teacher asks students to tell about their dreams, one of them raises his hands and says: 'my dream is to get 100 thousands dollars monthly like my father'.
teacher got shocked, 'does your father get 100 thousands dollars monthly?' teacher says.
student replies: 'no, my father dreams too'.
(sorry for my English)
I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls
Upon waking, a woman said to her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"
The man smiled and kissed his wife. "You`ll know tonight," he softly whispered.
That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She jumped up and embraced him, and then settled on the couch to slowly and delicately unwrap the package.
It contained a book entitled, 'The Meaning of Dreams'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do black men have nightmares?
We killed the only one who had a dream.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... ed
One day a little boy was at the park with his grandfather when he saw two dogs having s**.... He asked what they were doing and was told that was how they made puppies. Later that night he had a bad dream and when he went in to his parents' room he saw them having s**.... When he asked what they were doing he was told they were trying to make him a baby brother or sister. Disgusted, he demanded "Well flip her over, I'd rather have a puppy!"
What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?
Dishcipline
This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.
I dreamt I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
I dreamt about a horse last night.
It turned out to be a night mare.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
r**... boy meets his dream girl!
A young boy comes home to his father one day after school.
"Dad, I met the most INCREDIBLE girl in the world today. She's smart, she's beautiful, AND she's funny."
Dad pats his son on the back and walks him into the kitchen, "That's great, son. I'm proud of you for finding someone you like so much."
"That's not the best part, Dad. She's a v**...."
At this point the father slams his hand down on the counter, "I forbid this relationship, son. I never want you to see this girl again. And if I find out you do, I'm going to give you the biggest whooping you ever had."
Tears stream down the son's face, "But, Dad, WHY? She's amazing and she likes me!"
"Well, son. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
I guess you could say Luke Skywalker single-handedly defeated the empire.
I told this joke to someone in a dream, and when I woke up I realized it was actually funny.
As a Harry Potter fan, I dream of going to Hogwarts.
My friend is a Narnia fan, and he's always wanted to go to Narnia.
My other friend is a Hunger Games fan, but he's good.
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had a w**... last night about dogs...
Talk about coming in my boxers.
I've always dreamed of making a belt out of watches...
but everyone always tells me it'd just be a waist of time.
Girl told me she had a dream that I made love to her
I mean, technically, she didn't say "dream," she said "nightmare," but close enough.
Growing up, it always my childhood dream to study populations...
...then I came to my census
A guy is having a beer with his wife says:
You are my dream, my angel, my love. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you.
The wife says 'is that you talking or is it the beer'?
Husband says: It's me talking to the beer.
I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley
Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons.
The "American Dream" was discussed in class the other day...
... the professor turned to the German foreign exchange student and asked if they had anything like that in Germany to which he responded,
"We did, but nobody liked it."
I dreamt of a cobalt blue pig last night.
When I woke up I realized that it was just a pigment of my imagination.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does no other nation have the **American Dream**?
Because the rest of the world is awake!
A guy finally buys his dream car
... And on his first day of owning it, he gets caught speeding down the highway.
Pulling over, the officer walks up to the window and says "Son, I've been a cop for over 30 years, I've heard every excuse there is. If you come up with a new one I'll let you off with a warning."
The driver says "Well, to be honest sir, my wife recently left me for a state trooper, and when I saw your car, I was scared you were bringing her back."
I had a dirty dream about my ex wife
The dishes were pulled up and the house smelled like pachouli oil.
A man told his wife that he dreamt of a beautiful woman...
His wife asks: "Was she alone in your dream?"
"Yes, she was. How did you know?" - The husband replies
The wife says: "Because her husband was in my dream"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just started a job that requires me to sew two people's anuses together
Not a dream job, but it makes ends meet.
I dreamt that I had to write my own epitaph...
... That's a grave sign.
(I made up this joke and I nope no-one else has done it before me.)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy, arriving at the hotel in his dream vacation, sends his wife an SMS but he accidentally mistyped her number...
...the text went to a widow, which had just attended to her husband f**....
When she read the message she instantly passed out. Here's the message:
"Hey, babe, this place is so peaceful. You're coming next week, I just made your reservation. I miss you so much. Bring light clothes cause the temperature here is hellish. Xoxo"
John was unable to choose between two girls...
So he asked his friend Gary for help deciding which girl to be with.
John: I'm devoted to Kate but Edith is my dream girl, she's all I've ever wanted.
Gary: Then you should be with Edith.
John: But I love Kate and could never leave her...
Gary: Then you should stay with Kate.
John: But I also want to be with Edith, I can't miss this opportunity!
Gary: You can't have your Kate and Edith too.
I said my dream was to become a comedian...
Everyone just laughed at me.
A woman gets up in the morning
wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. The woman, excited, takes it from her hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."
"We're going to be together for the rest of our lives!" smiled my wife as we flew on our dream vacation to Hawaii...
"You seem pretty sure of yourself." I replied.
"I am!" she said, gazing out the window. "The left wing's fallen off and the engine's on fire."
Had a dream that I was playing as Darth Vader in Battlefront 2
Woke up and couldn't find my wallet.
The American dream:
To buy a shovel for 2$, to then sell it for 4$. Then you buy two shovels, and sell those for 8$. Then one of your rich uncles dies and you inherit 1,000,000$
My dad told me this one
What do you call a bad dream about sauce?
A nightmarinara.
I dreamed I was broke
And when I woke up my dreams came true.
Never give up on your dreams.
The President of Iran calls Trump & tells him "I had a dream last night...."
"New York was in ruins & aflame, with Iranian flags flying above."
Trump replies: "Funny, I had a dream last night too. Teheran beautiful and prosperous, happy people celebrating in the streets, with big banners hanging everywhere."
"What did the banners say?", asked the Iranian President.
"I don't know," Trump answers, "I can't read Hebrew."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when Shakespeare has a w**...?
Mid summer Night's cream
It's my dream to open a dentist office/manicure salon
I'm fighting tooth and nail to make it happen
I'm proud to announce my dream of being a criminal lawyer is halfway complete!
I'm just working on the lawyer part right now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.
After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo c**... con.
I'd always dreamed of being in NASA but it wasn't what I'd imagined it would be
For one all the people there were very rude. They kept saying things like "You shouldn't be here," "Oh my," and "I CAN'T CATCH HIM HE'S COVERED IN BABY OIL"
My wife and I are finally planning a trip to San Francisco for my life long dream of seeing the Golden Gate in person.
She said, What are you going to do when you finally see it?
I said, Let's cross that bridge when we get there.
Can a Mongolian make you laugh?
Genghis Kahn.
(No idea if this is an old joke or not. I told it in a dream I had last night so I'm claiming as original).
A man finally got engaged to his dream woman. Eager to show off his new fiance, he took her to his home town.
Upon arrival, he approached his mother and said, I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance.
Sure enough, twenty minutes later, the man walked in the door with three girls following behind him.
Without a moment's hesitation the mother pointed to the man's fiance and said, It's that one.
Wow! exclaimed the man. How in the world did you know it was her?
The mother shrugged, I just don't like her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An assistant to Donald Trump
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.**
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.**
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!**
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"**
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my therapist about my reoccurring dream where I c**... my car because it's missing the pedal that helps me stop
He said he thinks I need a brake
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A horse walks into a bar
.. and just like that my Olympic Equestrian Show Jumping dream was over. Thanks a lot you s**... horse.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I gave up my dream of becoming an o**... donor
I didn't have the heart for it
My fiance is talking about having a dream wedding...
Thank God it's a dream, I did not want to attend
I told my wife I had a dream that in a previous life she was Chinese...
... She told me that was impossible because she has never been Wong.
What is the sushi chef's dream car?
rolls rice
My wife made up this joke in a dream and woke herself up laughing...
Q: How do you tell the difference between a Golder Retriever and a Dalmatian?
A: You get down on the floor and spin them around real fast. One of them is yellow and the other one is gray.
If you keep following your dreams...
They're going to file a restraining order.
Two poor men dream of going to America
They hear of American food and how great it is and, in particular, the hotdog.
So they work hard and save their money for many years before finally traveling to America. Upon arriving, they immediately run off the boat and to the nearest hotdog stand. Eagerly, they throw their money at the stand and both get their own hotdogs.
The two men stand there for a second, both looking a little disappointed. Finally, one looks up at the other, well, what part of the dog did you get?
I had a dream that I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars.
It was an auto body experience.

