The Best 66 Dream Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dream jokes. There are some dream pursue jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dream wet dream puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Dream Jokes and Puns
Three guys on a road trip.
It's late at night and they need a place to sleep. The only hotel that has a room has one double bed. So, they take it. In the night, the guy on one side wakes up, saying "I just had the most vivid dream that I was getting a handjob". The guy on the other side wakes and says "me too!" The guy in the middle wakes up and says "I just dreamed I was skiing".
"What do you dream of doing, kids?" Asked the teacher...
Jimmy: "I want to be a pilot"
Amber: "I want to be a teacher"
Stacy: "I want to be a good mother"
James: "I want to help Stacy to be a mother"
Dreams.
3 guys are camping, and after a night of drinks & laughs around the fire, they climb into their tent and fall asleep side by side.
The next morning, the guy on the left wakes up smiling. "I had a dream I was getting jerked off all night by a supermodel!"
The guy on the right chimes in. "Me too, but it was my hot neighbour!"
The guy in the middle looks a bit dejected. "Lucky bastards. I just dreamed I was skiing."
Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams...
and its dream was to be a submarine.
Three guys in a bed....
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
I wanted to major in reverse psychology.
My dream school turned me down.
So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma.
a teacher asks students
Teacher asks students to tell about their dreams, one of them raises his hands and says: 'my dream is to get 100 thousands dollars monthly like my father'.
teacher got shocked, 'does your father get 100 thousands dollars monthly?' teacher says.
student replies: 'no, my father dreams too'.
(sorry for my English)
Why do black men have nightmares?
We killed the only one who had a dream.
Stalin appears in Putin's dream...
Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country.
Stalin says "Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."
"Why blue?" Putin asks.
"Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."
Three guys go on a ski trip...
...they arrive at the hotel only to find out that there is only one room available, and it has only one bed. They have a great day skiing and then go to sleep. The next day, they wake up. The guy on the left says "I had a dream that this beautiful woman was giving me the best handjob of my life!" The guy on the right says "I had the same dream!" The guy in the middle says "I had a dream I was skiing!"
I dreamt I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
You can explore dream dreamer reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dream nightmare dad jokes. There are also dream puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I dreamt about a horse last night.
It turned out to be a night mare.
Redneck boy meets his dream girl!
A young boy comes home to his father one day after school.
"Dad, I met the most INCREDIBLE girl in the world today. She's smart, she's beautiful, AND she's funny."
Dad pats his son on the back and walks him into the kitchen, "That's great, son. I'm proud of you for finding someone you like so much."
"That's not the best part, Dad. She's a VIRGIN."
At this point the father slams his hand down on the counter, "I forbid this relationship, son. I never want you to see this girl again. And if I find out you do, I'm going to give you the biggest whooping you ever had."
Tears stream down the son's face, "But, Dad, WHY? She's amazing and she likes me!"
"Well, son. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we killed the one who had a dream.
Happy MLK day
I've always dreamed of swimming in an ocean of orange soda
Its a fanta-sea of mine
Why don't black people dream?
The last one who had a dream got shot.
I actually heard this joke in a dream this morning
What do you call a little square that hasn't developed its new dimension yet?
Precubescent
A blonde goes to the dry cleaners.
She tells the attendant that she needs to have her dress cleaned.
However, the attendant wasn't paying attention. Snapping out of his day dream, he asked, "Come again?"
Giggling, the blonde replied, "No, just mustard this time."
If you see a toilet in your dream, do not use it.
It's a trap.
I had a dream that my friend Martin became the ruler of all bath sponges.
We called him Martin Loofah King.
A guy is having a beer with his wife says:
You are my dream, my angel, my love. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you.
The wife says 'is that you talking or is it the beer'?
Husband says: It's me talking to the beer.
Why do black people always have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley
Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons.
Why does no other nation have the **American Dream**?
Because the rest of the world is awake!
The German dream
The teacher is talking about the American Dream in class and then asks the one German kid if they had a German dream. He responds, "We did, but nobody liked it."
A guy finally buys his dream car
... And on his first day of owning it, he gets caught speeding down the highway.
Pulling over, the officer walks up to the window and says "Son, I've been a cop for over 30 years, I've heard every excuse there is. If you come up with a new one I'll let you off with a warning."
The driver says "Well, to be honest sir, my wife recently left me for a state trooper, and when I saw your car, I was scared you were bringing her back."
I dreamt that I had to write my own epitaph...
... That's a grave sign.
(I made up this joke and I nope no-one else has done it before me.)
A guy, arriving at the hotel in his dream vacation, sends his wife an SMS but he accidentally mistyped her number...
...the text went to a widow, which had just attended to her husband funeral.
When she read the message she instantly passed out. Here's the message:
"Hey, babe, this place is so peaceful. You're coming next week, I just made your reservation. I miss you so much. Bring light clothes cause the temperature here is hellish. Xoxo"
John was unable to choose between two girls...
So he asked his friend Gary for help deciding which girl to be with.
John: I'm devoted to Kate but Edith is my dream girl, she's all I've ever wanted.
Gary: Then you should be with Edith.
John: But I love Kate and could never leave her...
Gary: Then you should stay with Kate.
John: But I also want to be with Edith, I can't miss this opportunity!
Gary: You can't have your Kate and Edith too.
I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda.
When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
I spent all day bobbing up and down in the water
It's been my dream ever since I was a little buoy.
A woman gets up in the morning
wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. The woman, excited, takes it from her hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."
I had a dream last night about an armored horse.
It was a Knight mare.
I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.
Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
3 guys are sleeping in a bed
the next morning the one sleeping on the right side of the bed said "I had this awsome dream that i was getting a handjob." The guy sleeping on the left side said "Really? I had a dream i was getting a handjob too." The guy that was sleeping in the middle said "idk about you guys, but i had a dream i was skiing"
I had a dream where I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
I was like 0mg
Noone actually dreams in color.
It's just a pigment of your imagination.
Why do African Americans always have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot
3 friends are sharing one bed in a motel room
As they're waking up in the morning, the friend on the left says, "Man, I had the best dream last night that I was getting a hand job!" The friend on the right says, "That's crazy! I had the exact same dream!" Then the friend in the middle says, "Really?! I had a dream I was skiing".
The American dream:
To buy a shovel for 2$, to then sell it for 4$. Then you buy two shovels, and sell those for 8$. Then one of your rich uncles dies and you inherit 1,000,000$
My dad told me this one
I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today
He said Dream on. I think that was really nice of him.
I'm proud to announce my dream of being a criminal lawyer is halfway complete!
I'm just working on the lawyer part right now.
I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.
After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo commie con.
I keep having this recurring dream about a horse wearing a suit of armor
Actually, it may be more of a knight mare.
[NSFW] Three guys go to a ski lodge. There aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed for the night.
In the morning, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "Last night I had the wildest, most vivid dream that I was getting a handjob!"
The guy on the left wakes up and says, "That's incredible. I had the excact same dream!"
The guy in the middle wakes up last and says, "Boy, I'm really excited to hit the slopes. Last night I had the most realistic dream that I was skiing!"
Can a Mongolian make you laugh?
Genghis Kahn.
(No idea if this is an old joke or not. I told it in a dream I had last night so I'm claiming as original).
Stalin appears to Putin in a dream
He says to Putin: "I have two bits of advice for you: kill off all your opponents and paint the Kremlin blue."
Putin asks, "Why blue?"
Stalin replies, "I knew you would not object to the first one."
I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before
It was just a pigment of my imagination.
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
I was like, 0mg
An assistant to Donald Trump
>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.**
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.**
**It was absolutely the BIGGEST CELEBRATION WASHINGTON HAD EVER SEEN!!!**
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!**
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"**
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**
I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless
I was like 0mg
I dreamt that I wrote the Hobbit the other day
Turns out I was just Tolkien in my sleep
My wife made up this joke in a dream and woke herself up laughing...
Q: How do you tell the difference between a Golder Retriever and a Dalmatian?
A: You get down on the floor and spin them around real fast. One of them is yellow and the other one is gray.
I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil.
It wasn't 2B.
Professor: April, you are failing my class.
April: Oh, Professor. My parents will be so mad. I'm sure we can fix this. I'll do annnything to pass.
Professor: {gulp} anything?
April: YES! Anything you can dream up.
Professor: Will you…… study?
Woman stopped me at the station and said for twenty bucks she'd do things my wife would never dream of ...
I gave her twenty bucks and she ironed three shirts.
A man is talking to his doctor about a recurring dream he keeps having.
"I keep dreaming about a soccer match between elephants and mice" the patient said
"No worries" says the doctor and gives the patient some medicine, "take this just before bed and you'll have a dreamless sleep"
"Ok, thank you doctor" responded the man "but can I start it tomorrow? The finals are tonight"
I had this weird dream that I was swimming in a fizzy purple drink...
When I woke up in my bed, I have to admit, I was a little disappointed that it was only a Fanta-sy.
I had a weird dream the other night that I was on a raft in an ocean of orange soda...
Turns out it was just a weird Fanta sea.
I had a dream last night that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda.
Then I woke up and realized it was just a Fanta sea.
I dreamt that I was performing a flute solo in my underwear.
I was the flute of the room, in my fruit of the loom.
I dreamed that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda
But then I woke up. It was just a fanta sea.
i always wanted to be a plumber
but then i realized that was just a pipe dream
I dreamt about a Samsung Refrigerator that can play songs.
I called it Coldplay.
I don't snore, I dream I'm a motorcycle.
And that's why I wake up exhausted.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dream american dream jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dream i had a dream piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.