Dream Jokes

167 dream jokes and hilarious dream puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dream that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Dream Jokes - Looking for flirty dream jokes to make your dreamer's heart smile? Check out this collection of dream jokes and fantasize! Whether you're looking for dream jokes for him or dream jokes for her, these mufflers will make your dreamer laugh with delight.

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Funniest Dream Short Jokes

Short dream jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dream humour may include short illusion jokes also.

  1. Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like, 0mg
  2. My girl keeps having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!". Always Tolkien in her sleep...
  3. My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the lord of the rings trilogy. She's Tolkien in her sleep.
  4. What do you call a belt made out of lobsters? A waist of good seafood
    I know it's bad but I heard it in a dream and had to share
  5. Sweet dreams are made of cheese Who am I to diss-a-Brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody's looking for Stilton.
  6. Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
  7. I actually heard this joke in a dream this morning What do you call a little square that hasn't developed its new dimension yet?
  8. I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today He said Dream on. I think that was really nice of him.
  9. Last night I dreamed I was the author of The Lord of the Rings. I've been Tolkien in my sleep.
  10. I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda. When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.

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Dream One Liners

Which dream one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dream? I can suggest the ones about honeymoon and sleep.

  1. I had a dream where I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like 0mg
  2. I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before It was just a pigment of my imagination.
  3. Just woke up from a dream about Roman numerals 5, 4, 1, and 500. It was VIVID.
  4. What do you call a bunch of employees caught sleeping on the job? A Dream Team.
  5. I had this crazy dream where I was virtually weightless I was like 0mg
  6. Last night I dreamed that I was weightless! I was like, 0mg
  7. I dream of one day swimming in an ocean of orange carbonated water It's my Fanta sea.
  8. Why don't black people dream? The last one who had a dream got shot.
  9. I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil. It wasn't 2B.
  10. I had a dream last night about an armored horse. It was a Knight mare.
  11. Sweet dreams are made of cheese... Who am I to diss a brie?
  12. Last night I dreamed the oceans were made of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
  13. Never give up on your dreams... Stay in bed.
  14. Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams... and its dream was to be a submarine.
  15. Why do black men have nightmares? We killed the only one who had a dream.

I Had A Dream Jokes

Here is a list of funny i had a dream jokes and even better i had a dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice. Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
  • Last night I had a dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my giant marshmallow was gone.
  • I recently had a dream that I was swimming in a sea of carbonated orange juice. Turns out it was just a Fanta sea
  • The German dream The teacher is talking about the American Dream in class and then asks the one German kid if they had a German dream. He responds, "We did, but nobody liked it."
  • Why do black people always have nightmares? Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
  • Happy Pi Day Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.
    Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?
    Me: Not as far as anyone can tell.
  • I dreamed that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda But then I woke up. It was just a fanta sea.
  • I had a dream that my friend Martin became the ruler of all bath sponge. We called him Martin Loofah King.
  • Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we killed the one who had a dream.
    Happy mlk day
  • Woman stopped me at the station and said for twenty bucks she'd do things my wife would never dream of ... I gave her twenty bucks and she ironed three shirts.

Living The Dream Jokes

Here is a list of funny living the dream jokes and even better living the dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I had a terrible dream of a dystopian future where robots controlled every aspect of our lives. Luckily, I was awakened by my Tesla.
  • I just had a terrible dream. In a dystopian future, robots controlled every aspect of our lives. Good thing my alarm woke me up.
  • My best friend is a full-time professional sleep walker. He's living the dream.
  • Old man here, I've lived my life.
    But when I was young man, I dreamed of sleeping with a strange woman every night.
    I just didn't think it would be the same one.
  • I finally got to live out my dreams of joining a reggae band with my triangle. I just stand at the back and ting.
  • When I lived on the street, I always wanted to become a plumber, get a home, and run a business... But that was just a pipe dream.
  • I called an old friend and asked how he's been. He said "living the dream." I told him, hey good to hear.
    Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder.
  • My Nana's ninety three, but she's living the dream. The one where you go out in just your underwear and your teeth fall out.
  • I made the love of live choose between me and her dream of being a professional athlete... She left me and became a famous tennis player, I should have known love meant nothing to her.
  • [OC] My therapist asked me "How's it going?"..."Living the dream!" I replied. The joke's on him though... a nightmare is technically a dream.
Dream joke, [OC] My therapist asked me "How's it going?"..."Living the dream!" I replied.

Dream Come True Jokes

Here is a list of funny dream come true jokes and even better dream come true puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I made my wife's dreams come true and we were married in a castle. But you sure wouldn't have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around during the ceremony.
  • As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang Just got accepted into police training, who says dreams don't come true.
  • Here's one you might know... There once was a man from Peru
    who dreamed he was eating his shoe
    he woke with a fright
    in the middle of the night
    to find that his dream had come true.
  • My girlfriend said she had a dream where I cheated on her So I went out that night and picked up a girl at the bar. I want to make all my girlfriend's dreams to come true
  • How to make your dreams come true? Have a Stage 4 Cancer
  • So a guy wants to get a job Interviewer: Do you have any abilities?
    Man: Yes, I never die.
    Interviewer (Surprised) WOW, how do you do that?
    Man: Because dreams never come true....
  • Making 6 figures a year sounds like a dream come true... Unless you work for an action figure manufacturing company. Then it sounds like a quick way to the unemployment line.
  • I had a dreamed I pooped the bed. So it turns out dreams can come true!
  • Ryu, do you think I can make my dreams come true? Ryu: SHORYUKEN!
  • Last night in my dream I was peeing in bed. Dreams do come true I realized in the morning.

American Dream Jokes

Here is a list of funny american dream jokes and even better american dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do African Americans always have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot
  • Talking about the American Dream in a college class and the prof asks: To a student from Germany, "Is there a Germany Dream?" He responded, "There was, but no one liked it."
  • Michael Jackson is the epitome of the American Dream Only in America could a poor, black boy become a rich, white woman
  • The Great German Dream. We were talking about the American dream in class and the teacher said to a German boy if he had a German dream. He said, "We did but no-one liked it."
  • I would never dream of giving up my British citizenship
    for tax purposes I'm an American
  • In my history class my professor was talking about the American dream. He asked the German kid if they had a German dream. He responded "Well, we did but no one likes it."
  • Someone started talking about the American dream. Then they ask the German kid if there was a German Dream. He said "We had one but no one liked it."
  • My fellow obese Americans chasing the American dream does not count as exercise.
  • Canada The American dream
  • Why do we call it "The American Dream"? Because you have to be sleeping to believe it.

Flirty Dream Jokes

Here is a list of funny flirty dream jokes and even better flirty dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Hi, can I follow you home tonight? Sorry, that came out a little strong, my mom always told me to follow my dreams.
Dream joke

Cheerful Fun Dream Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about dream you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vision jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dream pranks.

Three guys on a road trip.

It's late at night and they need a place to sleep. The only hotel that has a room has one double bed. So, they take it. In the night, the guy on one side wakes up, saying "I just had the most vivid dream that I was getting a h**...". The guy on the other side wakes and says "me too!" The guy in the middle wakes up and says "I just dreamed I was skiing".

Adam's new wife

Adam had been in the garden of Eden for several years without someone to share his life with. One day, he asked God for a companion.
God said to him, "I can give you a wife that will be everything you could dream of. Humble and submissive, she will make your life nothing but pleasurable. However, to make her I'll need an arm and a leg."
Adam says, "Aw what, that s**...! What can I get for a rib?"

"What do you dream of doing, kids?" Asked the teacher...

Jimmy: "I want to be a pilot"
Amber: "I want to be a teacher"
Stacy: "I want to be a good mother"
James: "I want to help Stacy to be a mother"


3 guys are camping, and after a night of drinks & laughs around the fire, they climb into their tent and fall asleep side by side.
The next morning, the guy on the left wakes up smiling. "I had a dream I was getting j**... off all night by a supermodel!"
The guy on the right chimes in. "Me too, but it was my hot neighbour!"
The guy in the middle looks a bit dejected. "Lucky b**.... I just dreamed I was skiing."

Three guys in a bed....

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a h**...!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

I have the punchline, can't remember the joke.

My father used to tell a joke, that involved the guy talking to a priest or therapist, and he is worried about a reoccurring dream that involves him having s**... with a chicken (can't remember who was doing what with who). It ends with the teller blowing a ripped up napkin all over the table.
Any help?

My daughter came home from school with an assignment that asked to to finish the phrase, "I have a dream..." this is what she came up with.

I have a dream...
That one day handicap people will be able to park wherever they want to.

I wanted to major in reverse psychology.

My dream school turned me down.
So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their s**... program. They sent me a diploma.

My old best friend ran off years ago to pursue his dream of becoming a mime...

I haven't heard from him since.

a teacher asks students

Teacher asks students to tell about their dreams, one of them raises his hands and says: 'my dream is to get 100 thousands dollars monthly like my father'.
teacher got shocked, 'does your father get 100 thousands dollars monthly?' teacher says.
student replies: 'no, my father dreams too'.
(sorry for my English)

Stalin appears in Putin's dream...

Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country.
Stalin says "Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."
"Why blue?" Putin asks.
"Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."

Three guys go on a ski trip...

...they arrive at the hotel only to find out that there is only one room available, and it has only one bed. They have a great day skiing and then go to sleep. The next day, they wake up. The guy on the left says "I had a dream that this beautiful woman was giving me the best h**... of my life!" The guy on the right says "I had the same dream!" The guy in the middle says "I had a dream I was skiing!"

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

I dreamt I was making a salad.

I was tossing all night.

I dreamt about a horse last night.

It turned out to be a night mare.

I dreamt that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...

But I woke up and realized it was just a fanta sea.

r**... boy meets his dream girl!

A young boy comes home to his father one day after school.
"Dad, I met the most INCREDIBLE girl in the world today. She's smart, she's beautiful, AND she's funny."
Dad pats his son on the back and walks him into the kitchen, "That's great, son. I'm proud of you for finding someone you like so much."
"That's not the best part, Dad. She's a v**...."
At this point the father slams his hand down on the counter, "I forbid this relationship, son. I never want you to see this girl again. And if I find out you do, I'm going to give you the biggest whooping you ever had."
Tears stream down the son's face, "But, Dad, WHY? She's amazing and she likes me!"
"Well, son. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."

Today's Top Joke

Tom was at the hospital visiting with his best friend Larry who was dying. Tom asked, "If there is baseball in heaven will you come back and tell me?" Larry nodded yes just as he passed away. That night while Tom was sleeping, he heard Larry's voice in a dream, "Tom..." "Larry! What is it?!" asked Tom. "I have good news and bad news from heaven." "What's the good news?" "There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you're pitching on Tuesday."

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

I've always dreamed of making a belt out of watches...

but everyone always tells me it'd just be a waist of time.

I've always dreamed of swimming in an ocean of orange soda

Its a fanta-sea of mine

Girl told me she had a dream that I made love to her

I mean, technically, she didn't say "dream," she said "nightmare," but close enough.

Growing up, it always my childhood dream to study populations...

...then I came to my census

A blonde goes to the dry cleaners.

She tells the attendant that she needs to have her dress cleaned.
However, the attendant wasn't paying attention. Snapping out of his day dream, he asked, "Come again?"
Giggling, the blonde replied, "No, just mustard this time."

If you see a toilet in your dream, do not use it.

It's a trap.

I sometimes dream of a rivers of orange soda

But it's just a fanta-sea

A guy is having a beer with his wife says:

You are my dream, my angel, my love. I don't know what I would do without you. I love you.
The wife says 'is that you talking or is it the beer'?
Husband says: It's me talking to the beer.

I had a dream where I was a car muffler...

It was exhausting.

I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley

Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons.

The "American Dream" was discussed in class the other day...

... the professor turned to the German foreign exchange student and asked if they had anything like that in Germany to which he responded,
"We did, but nobody liked it."

Three guys went out camping together

One morning, when they woke up, the man sleeping on the left told his friends "I just had the best dream. I got the most amazing h**..."
The man on the right, quite surprised, told him "No way! I also got a great h**... in my dream!"
"You guys have such great dreams, it's not fair!" complained the man in the middle, "All I dreamt of was skiiing!"

Why does no other nation have the **American Dream**?

Because the rest of the world is awake!

A guy finally buys his dream car

... And on his first day of owning it, he gets caught speeding down the highway.
Pulling over, the officer walks up to the window and says "Son, I've been a cop for over 30 years, I've heard every excuse there is. If you come up with a new one I'll let you off with a warning."
The driver says "Well, to be honest sir, my wife recently left me for a state trooper, and when I saw your car, I was scared you were bringing her back."

I dreamt that I had to write my own epitaph...

... That's a grave sign.
(I made up this joke and I nope no-one else has done it before me.)

A guy, arriving at the hotel in his dream vacation, sends his wife an SMS but he accidentally mistyped her number...

...the text went to a widow, which had just attended to her husband f**....
When she read the message she instantly passed out. Here's the message:
"Hey, babe, this place is so peaceful. You're coming next week, I just made your reservation. I miss you so much. Bring light clothes cause the temperature here is hellish. Xoxo"

John was unable to choose between two girls...

So he asked his friend Gary for help deciding which girl to be with.
John: I'm devoted to Kate but Edith is my dream girl, she's all I've ever wanted.
Gary: Then you should be with Edith.
John: But I love Kate and could never leave her...
Gary: Then you should stay with Kate.
John: But I also want to be with Edith, I can't miss this opportunity!
Gary: You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

I spent all day bobbing up and down in the water

It's been my dream ever since I was a little buoy.

A woman gets up in the morning

wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed you gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?
The husband answers:
- You'll know it on your birthday.
The wife's birthday arrives and the husband enters the house with a package in his hand. The woman, excited, takes it from her hands, tears the paper nervously, quickly opens the box and finds a book titled: "The meaning of dreams."

"We're going to be together for the rest of our lives!" smiled my wife as we flew on our dream vacation to Hawaii...

"You seem pretty sure of yourself." I replied.
"I am!" she said, gazing out the window. "The left wing's fallen off and the engine's on fire."

3 guys are sleeping in a bed

the next morning the one sleeping on the right side of the bed said "I had this awsome dream that i was getting a h**...." The guy sleeping on the left side said "Really? I had a dream i was getting a h**... too." The guy that was sleeping in the middle said "idk about you guys, but i had a dream i was skiing"

Had a dream that I was playing as Darth Vader in Battlefront 2

Woke up and couldn't find my wallet.

Noone actually dreams in color.

It's just a pigment of your imagination.

3 friends are sharing one bed in a motel room

As they're waking up in the morning, the friend on the left says, "Man, I had the best dream last night that I was getting a h**...!" The friend on the right says, "That's crazy! I had the exact same dream!" Then the friend in the middle says, "Really?! I had a dream I was skiing".

The American dream:

To buy a shovel for 2$, to then sell it for 4$. Then you buy two shovels, and sell those for 8$. Then one of your rich uncles dies and you inherit 1,000,000$
My dad told me this one

I had a dream in which my favorite pornstar died.

I woke up with mourning wood.

I dreamed I was broke

And when I woke up my dreams came true.
Never give up on your dreams.

I'm proud to announce my dream of being a criminal lawyer is halfway complete!

I'm just working on the lawyer part right now.

I took my wife to the beach today and now she's mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.

After all, I could've sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo c**... con.

I keep having this recurring dream about a horse wearing a suit of armor

Actually, it may be more of a knight mare.

3 men go to a hotel late at night

Only one room is left and there is only one large bed to sleep on, the men decide to go and share it.
The morning after...
Man on the left: Guys, I had an awesome dream last night. I hooked up with this smoking hot blonde and got a h**...!
Man on the right: whoa, what a coincidence... I had a similar dream but with a red head!
Man in the middle: That doesn't even touch the dream that I had! I was a professional skier!

Can a Mongolian make you laugh?

Genghis Kahn.
(No idea if this is an old joke or not. I told it in a dream I had last night so I'm claiming as original).

A man finally got engaged to his dream woman. Eager to show off his new fiance, he took her to his home town.

Upon arrival, he approached his mother and said, I'm going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance.
Sure enough, twenty minutes later, the man walked in the door with three girls following behind him.
Without a moment's hesitation the mother pointed to the man's fiance and said, It's that one.
Wow! exclaimed the man. How in the world did you know it was her?
The mother shrugged, I just don't like her.

I had a dream last night where I was drowning in an ocean made from orange soda...

It took me a while to figure out that it was a Fanta sea.

Stalin appears to Putin in a dream

He says to Putin: "I have two bits of advice for you: kill off all your opponents and paint the Kremlin blue."
Putin asks, "Why blue?"
Stalin replies, "I knew you would not object to the first one."

An assistant to Donald Trump

>**An assistant to Donald Trump told him she had a fantastic dream last night.**
**There was a huge parade down Pennsylvania Avenue celebrating Trump.** 
**Millions lined the parade route, cheering when the President went past.**
**Bands were playing; children were throwing confetti into the air; there were balloons everywhere.** 
**Trump was very impressed and said, "That's really great!** 
**By the way, how did I look in your dream? Was my hair okay?"** 
**His assistant said, "I couldn't tell, the casket was closed."**

A joke originally told in Arabic

The doctor asks him what is that dreaming problem.
"Every night I go to sleep," the man says. "I dream of a soccer match between a team of elephants and a team of ants"
"Ok, take this medicine," the doctor says. "It will fix the problem."
The man refuses though and says:
"Can I take it tomorrow though? Today is the finals"

I dreamt that I wrote the Hobbit the other day

Turns out I was just Tolkien in my sleep

I had a dream I was drowning in an ocean of fizzy drink

But it was just a fanta sea

I got my dream job at a guillotine factory.

I'll beheading there shortly.

What is the sushi chef's dream car?

rolls rice

My wife made up this joke in a dream and woke herself up laughing...

Q: How do you tell the difference between a Golder Retriever and a Dalmatian?
A: You get down on the floor and spin them around real fast. One of them is yellow and the other one is gray.

Dream joke, My wife made up this joke in a dream and woke herself up laughing...

jokes about dream