Dream Jokes

Funniest Dream Short Jokes

Short dream jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dream humour may include short illusion jokes also.

1. My girl keeps having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!". Always Tolkien in her sleep...
2. My wife woke up just now. She is dreaming and muttering about how she wrote the lord of the rings trilogy. She's Tolkien in her sleep.
3. What do you call a belt made out of lobsters? A waist of good seafood
   I know it's bad but I heard it in a dream and had to share
4. Sweet dreams are made of cheese Who am I to diss-a-Brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody's looking for Stilton.
5. Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times.
6. I actually heard this joke in a dream this morning What do you call a little square that hasn't developed its new dimension yet?
   Precubescent
7. I asked my boss if I can come to work a little late today He said Dream on. I think that was really nice of him.
8. Last night I dreamed I was the author of The Lord of the Rings. I've been Tolkien in my sleep.
9. I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda. When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
10. Last night I had a dream that I was eating a giant marshmallow and when I woke up my giant marshmallow was gone.

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Dream One Liners

Which dream one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dream? I can suggest the ones about honeymoon and sleep.

1. I had a dream where I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like 0mg
2. I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before It was just a pigment of my imagination.
3. Just woke up from a dream about Roman numerals 5, 4, 1, and 500. It was VIVID.
4. What do you call a bunch of employees caught sleeping on the job? A Dream Team.
5. I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil. It wasn't 2B.
6. Never give up on your dreams... Stay in bed.
7. Maybe the Titanic really was a ship of dreams... and its dream was to be a submarine.
8. Noone actually dreams in color. It's just a pigment of your imagination.
9. All last night I dreamed I was a muffler... I woke up exhausted
10. If you see a toilet in your dream, do not use it. It's a trap.
11. They said I should follow my dreams So I went back to sleep.
12. Landed my dream job at a guillotine factory Will beheading there tomorrow
13. I had a dream in which my favorite pornstar died. I woke up with mourning wood.
14. I would love to be paid to sleep It would be my dream job.
15. I got into lucid dreaming recently its everything I imagined it to be.

I Had A Dream Jokes

Here is a list of funny i had a dream jokes and even better i had a dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The German dream The teacher is talking about the American Dream in class and then asks the one German kid if they had a German dream. He responds, "We did, but nobody liked it."
• Happy Pi Day Me: I dreamed my teacher is making me read out endless values of π.
  Psychiatrist: Is it recurring?
  Me: Not as far as anyone can tell.
• I had a dream that my friend Martin became the ruler of all bath sponge. We called him Martin Loofah King.
• Woman stopped me at the station and said for twenty bucks she'd do things my wife would never dream of ... I gave her twenty bucks and she ironed three shirts.
• When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut. But my dad crushed those dreams years ago... He'd always say "For you, son, the sky's the limit!"
• Who's guilty here? A wife is dreaming while asleep in the bed, she suddenly wakes up and shouts, "quick, my husband is home!"
  Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window!
• Why do African Americans always have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot
• I keep having this recurring dream about a horse wearing a suit of armor Actually, it may be more of a knight mare.
• I made my wife's dreams come true and we were married in a castle. But you sure wouldn't have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around during the ceremony.
• I spent all day bobbing up and down in the water It's been my dream ever since I was a little buoy.

Living The Dream Jokes

Here is a list of funny living the dream jokes and even better living the dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I had a terrible dream of a dystopian future where robots controlled every aspect of our lives. Luckily, I was awakened by my Tesla.
• My best friend is a full-time professional sleep walker. He's living the dream.
• Old man here, I've lived my life.
  But when I was young man, I dreamed of sleeping with a strange woman every night.
  I just didn't think it would be the same one.
• When I lived on the street, I always wanted to become a plumber, get a home, and run a business... But that was just a pipe dream.
• I called an old friend and asked how he's been. He said "living the dream." I told him, hey good to hear.
  Turned out he just has dissociative identity disorder.
• My Nana's ninety three, but she's living the dream. The one where you go out in just your underwear and your teeth fall out.
• I made the love of live choose between me and her dream of being a professional athlete... She left me and became a famous tennis player, I should have known love meant nothing to her.
• [OC] My therapist asked me "How's it going?"..."Living the dream!" I replied. The joke's on him though... a nightmare is technically a dream.
• IM LIVING THE DREAM BOYS one nightmare at a time
• Why is Texas a gay man's dream place to live? Cause everything is bigger in Texas.

Dream Come True Jokes

Here is a list of funny dream come true jokes and even better dream come true puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang Just got accepted into police training, who says dreams don't come true.
• Here's one you might know... There once was a man from peru
  who dreamed he was eating his shoe
  he woke with a fright
  in the middle of the night
  to find that his dream had come true.
• How to make your dreams come true? Have a Stage 4 Cancer
• So a guy wants to get a job Interviewer: Do you have any abilities?
  Man: Yes, I never die.
  Interviewer (Surprised) WOW, how do you do that?
  Man: Because dreams never come true....
• Making 6 figures a year sounds like a dream come true... Unless you work for an action figure manufacturing company. Then it sounds like a quick way to the unemployment line.
• I had a dreamed I pooped the bed. So it turns out dreams can come true!
• Ryu, do you think I can make my dreams come true? Ryu: SHORYUKEN!
• Last night in my dream I was peeing in bed. Dreams do come true I realized in the morning.
• Harvard University I guess my dream is finally coming true. Among many people who applied for Harvard University,they chose me to be the janitor.
• My wife had a dream that I cheated on her. Now I can say with complete honesty that I made her wildest dreams come true.

American Dream Jokes

Here is a list of funny american dream jokes and even better american dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Talking about the American Dream in a college class and the prof asks: To a student from Germany, "Is there a Germany Dream?" He responded, "There was, but no one liked it."
• I would never dream of giving up my British citizenship
  for tax purposes I'm an American
• Canada The American dream
• Why do we call it "The American Dream"? Because you have to be sleeping to believe it.
• What would you call the American Dream if he had an old electric piano? Dusty Rhodes with a dusty Rhodes.
• Americans! Chasing the American Dream doesn't count as exercise.
• ISIS isn't the organization terrorizing the American dream... ICE is

Flirty Dream Jokes

Here is a list of funny flirty dream jokes and even better flirty dream puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Hi, can I follow you home tonight? Sorry, that came out a little strong, my mom always told me to follow my dreams.

Cheerful Fun Dream Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about dream you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean vision jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dream pranks.