Dreaded Jokes
26 dreaded jokes and hilarious dreaded puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dreaded that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dreaded Short Jokes
Short dreaded jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dreaded humour may include short dreading jokes also.
- After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear. Who was that?
- Just been diagnosed with the dreaded 'Peek-a-Boo virus'...
I'm being transferred to ICU. - I went to a party and all the party games were dreadful, they resorted to the Limbo for entertainment Like seriously, how low can you go?
- Dentist: "This is going to hurt a bit. Ready?" Me, shutting my eyes, dreading this moment: "Yes, ready."
Dentist: "That will be $700 please." - I am dreading the time when Mr. Musk's scandal come out. I just know Elon-gate will keep stretching on.
- Does anyone have a Rastafarian wig? We have crazy hair day at work tomorrow and I'm dreading it.
- I've just had that dreaded call telling me I have to self isolate! Apparently my roommates cat has Covid 19!
Don't ask Meow - I've got an elementary school reunion coming up that I'm dreading, because I've gained like a hundred pounds.
- Don't get a Jamaican hairdo... I did and I have been dreading it ever since.
- Did you hear about the Bob Marley impersonator? He's dreadful.
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Dreaded One Liners
Which dreaded one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dreaded? I can suggest the ones about feared and dreadful.
- If we make it past 2020, I'll be dreading 2022. After all, 2022 is 2020, too!
- Have you heard about the shampoo crisis in jamaica? It's dreadful
- Why don't jamaican people secure their homes? Because they dread locks
- We're having a Jamaican themed hair day at work this Friday I'm dreading it already
- You know what I dread? The long hair of Jamaicans
- I went to a lame reggae concert once It was dreadful
- Since they don't get their hair cut, guys with dreads must save a lot of money on dates.
- My dog kept me awake all night. Dreadful diarrhoea.
Don't think I cooked him properly. - Why do people dread mornings in Athens? Because dawn is tough on Greece
- A friend asked me to do their hair for a rastafarian party... I'm dreading it
- Having a Jamaican hairstyle theme at work tommorow. Im dreading it.
- A Jamaican went to the barber. It was a dreadful experience.
- Today is "Jamaican hair day" at work. I'm dreading it.
- Ever hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It was dreadful.
- I always hate going to my Rastafarian friends house its dreadful
Unearthly Funniest Dreaded Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about dreaded you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean terrified jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dreaded pranks.
A woman adopted a foul-mouthed bird because he was so beautiful and she thought he could be retrained.
The shelter told her the bird lived in a w**... for the last decade. When her husband's car pulled in the drive, she dreaded what the bird would say to him. The bird looked at the husband and said, "Hi Phil, welcome back."
After my dad died, we found an old book hidden away in his study.
It was bound in some sort of leather, and emblazoned with the title TO SUMMON THE DREADED ANCIENT ONE .
When we opened it, all it contained was gran's phone number.
There is no ghost
While visiting a spooky historic house, a lady confided in the guide that she was terrified of ghosts and dreaded meeting one on the tour.
To reassure her, the guide told her that in all the years he had worked at the house, he had never seen a single ghost.
And how long have you worked here? asked the woman.
Three hundred years.
Little Johnny: Contagious
The teacher asks the class to use the word 'contagious' in a sentence, and see's only one hand go up, yes the dreaded Little Johnny, Knowing full well she is about to be burned yet again by this little s**.... She sighs and tells him to go ahead.
With a glint in his eye, Little johnny proceeds:
"My dad and I saw our neighbour cutting his lawn with a pair of nail scissors, my dad said "Its going to take that contagious to do that"
Boom boom.
You've got 10 minutes...
My wife (38F) caught the dreaded virus, so it fell to me (39M) to take all the kids to get tested.
I gave them a 10 minute warning while I got my wife a coffee. After 10 minutes (okay it was probably at least 15), I called out to the kids "if you haven't already, can you please grab your shoes and get ready to head to the car..."
I grabbed my own shoes, finished my own coffee, took it to the kitchen, and as I washed it called out "is anyone not ready yet?"
_(no response)_
(louder) **"Okay, how about this then - who _IS_ ready?"**
_my eldest son (13M):_ "um, no one's ready"
#"what!? I gave you all at least 20 minutes!! What is happening!?"
_my eldest son:_ "Well, I'm David, he's John, she's Chloe"
...
and I don't know if I've been so proud to be a dad before
It makes sense that tumblr is against w**... with dreadlocks
After all, these are the *dreaded* white people they're always talking about.
Why didn't the Jamaican cut his hair?
He dreaded it.
Why wouldn't the hippie brush their hair?
They dreaded it!
What did the hair stylist do when his client showed up without having showered in months?
He just dreaded it!
