The Best 17 Dread Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dread jokes. There are some dread anxiety jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dread brazen puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dread Jokes and Puns

Why don't Jamaican people secure their homes?

Because they dread locks

You know what I dread?

The long hair of Jamaicans

As a teacher, one of the things I used to dread most was seeing one of my students out in public. So imagine my surprise when I saw 18 year old Kristen out one Saturday night in a 21 and over establishment. She saw me at the same time, came over and loudly asked, "What the heck are YOU doing here?!"

I said, "Well, I'm a functioning alcoholic, it's Saturday night, and I am 32 years old. So I really think the better question here is... how much are the lap dances?"

Dread joke, As a teacher, one of the things I used to dread most was seeing one of my students out in public. So

Why do people dread mornings in Athens?

Because dawn is tough on Greece

I've just had that dreaded call telling me I have to self isolate!

Apparently my roommates cat has Covid 19!

Don't ask Meow


There was a young climber named Ed...

There was a young climber named Ed

No mountain could fill him with dread

Then he met a big fatty

named Pumpkin-Ass Patty

And he said, "I'll do Everest instead".

I'll have to admit; I'm an anti semi.

Because I dread the finals.

Dread joke, I'll have to admit; I'm an anti semi.

If Charles Babbage is the father of computers

And if vacuum tubes are the inception of computers, I dread to think of what he did with them.

My 5 year old always begs me to take her to the dog park...

She loves playing with them and giving them treats. But the whole time I'm filled with dread. My hands start sweating. I feel anxious and nauseous. That despite her laughter and joy my whole day will be utterly ruined. I finally saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with PTSD.

Pooon Tennis Shoe Disorder

Why are Rastafarians afraid to secure their houses at night?

Because they dread locks.

"Dread it. Run from it. Destiny still arrives"

This is what future dads will be saying when they break out the belt after seeing their kids report card

You can explore dread hatred reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dread fearful dad jokes. There are also dread puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What is Jamaica's favorite TV series?

The Walking Dread

Why are so many thieves bald?

They dread locks.

Everyone dreads waiting till police arrive at the scene of a suicide

Or as lawyers call them, "unbillable hours."

Dread it.... Run from it... Destiny still arrives

Unlike that line.

I am the Dread Pirate Roberts of poverty.

Taking ever increasing doses, hoping that one day I'll become immune.

Dread joke, I am the Dread Pirate Roberts of poverty.

The Three Words You Dread

What are the three words you dread the most while making love?

"Honey, I'm home."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dread pegs jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dread terrify piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes