The Best 58 Draws Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Draws jokes. There are some draws attract jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these draws chalkboard puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Draws Jokes and Puns

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein counts down while the two hide. Pascal immediately runs for it, but Newton just draws a square around himself and stands there.

As he turns around he proclaims "Found you, Newton!"

"No, you found one Newton on a square-metre. You found Pascal."

A panda walks into a cΓ‘fe.

He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and unloads it into the ceiling.

Why? Asks the confused waiter, as the panda starts leaving. He tosses a wildlife manual over his shoulder.

I'm a panda, he says at the door, look it up.

The waiter flips to the page about pandas, and it says, Panda. Large black and white bear-like animal native to China. Eats, Shoots, and leaves

Credits: Eats, Shoots, and Leaves

Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein starts counting and Pascal runs off and hides, but Isaac Newton just stands in front of him and draws a square on the ground. When Einstein opens his eyes he says I found you Isaac , but Isaac Newton responds no you found a Newton over a square - you found Pascal!

Draws joke, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein, Tesla, Newton, and Pascal are all playing Hide 'N Seek

It is Einstein's turn to be it. So he covers his eyes and slowly counts to 20.

Tesla climbs up a tree, Pascal jumps behind a bush, and Newton stands right where he is and draws a 1m x 1m square around him.

"...eighteen, nineteen, twenty! Ready or not, here I come!" exclaims Einstein. Of course, Newton is the first person he sees so he tags him. "Gotcha, Newton!"

To which Newton responds, "Nope. Pascal!"

So it's little Johnny's turn to present for show and tell...

So it's little Johnny's turn to present for show and tell. He goes up to the chalkboard and draws a period. The teacher then asks "What is so special about a period?" Little Johnny replies "I don't know, but when my sister said she missed hers my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the neighbor shot himself!"


A trucker and a blonde.

A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.

"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.

He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.

"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.

The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

A physics Joke

So Einstein, Pascal and Newton are playing hide and seek. Einstein is counting while Newton and Pascal hide. Pascal runs off and hides while Newton doesn't move an inch. Instead, he draws a square around himself in the dirt.
After Einstein finishes counting, he opens his eyes and says, "Found you Newton! That was easy"
Newton says; "No you didn't. You found Pascal"
He points down to the square in the dirt. "One Newton per meter squared"

Draws joke, A physics Joke

A man took a woman out for dinner...

but she didn't speak a word of English. They were having a great time, though, feeding each other, flirting, touching and giggling. After the meal is over, the woman draws a picture of a bed on a napkin and gives a sly wink. The man still can't figure out how she knew he was in the furniture business.

The comments in another thread were slamming Readers Digest jokes, and that's where this one came from.

Two guys are sitting in a jail cell

The first guy says, "What're you here for?"

The second guy say, "Breaking and entering. How about you?"

The first guy draws a deep breath. "Well, there's a story there. I was at a club, having a great time. They played 'The Twist', so I Twisted. Then they played 'Jump', so I Jumped."

"Yeah? So?"

"Then they played 'Come on Eileen' ..."

Two men walk out of a bar, both are drunk and ready to fight!

One draws a line in the dirt and says to the other man, "If you cross this line i will punch you!"

That was the punchline.

Newton and Pascal play Hide and Seek

So Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek with some other kids. When they go off to hide Newton draws a metre square around him. Another person spots him and says, "I found you Newton!" and Newton says "I'm a Newton over a metre squared so I'm a Pascal!".

You can explore draws rascals reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean draws crayon dad jokes. There are also draws puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Totally Nerdy Joke: Einstein, Newton, and Pascal playing hide and seek

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek. It's einstein's turn to count. Pascal runs away and hides under some bushes. Newton draws a large box in the dirt and stands inside it. Einstein finishes counting, sees Newton and declares "Aha! Newton, I found you!" Newton replies "No, you found one Newton per square meter. You found Pascal."

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

Einstein is seeking, so Pascal runs to go hide. Newton stays where he is and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square in the dirt and stands in the middle of it. Einstein turns around and immediately spots Newton. "Newton!" he exclaims "I found you!"

Newton smiles and replies "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"

Confessions of a newly wed.

On the first night of their honeymoon, the husband isn't sure how to tell his bride about his stinky feet and smelly socks, while the wife is wondering how to break the news to him about her awful breath, which so far, she's been able to cover up.

After some soul-searching, the husband gathers his nerve and says, I have a confession.

She draws closer, peers into his eyes, and says, Darling, so do I.

Recoiling, he says, Don't tell me - you've eaten my socks.

Einstein, Sir Issac Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seem

Pascal, Sir Issac Newton and Einstein are playing hide and seek and its Einstein's turn to seek so he turns around and starts counting and Pascal runs off and hides, but Newton only takes a few steps, stops and draws a one meter by one meter box around him. Einstein finishes counting and turns around and says "Newton I found you!" Newton responds by saying "No Einstein you found a Newton over one square meter, you found Pascal!"

Einstein, Newton & Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein starts counting "1...2...3..." and Pascal immediately runs away to hide. Instead of hiding Newton knees down and draws a square of one meter side length. Then he steps inside of it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around. He instantly yells "Newton I have found you!" But Newton replies: "No, what you see is one Newton over one square meter - so what you have found is one Pascal."

Draws joke, Einstein, Newton & Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and seek...

Einstein volunteers to be it so he closes his eyes and counts to 30. As he is counting, Pascal runs off to hide, but Newton draws a square (1x1 metre) and stands inside it. Einstein finishes counting and turns around and sees Newton. He says, "Newton, you're it. I found you." But then Newton says, "No, you found one Newton over a square metre; therefore, you've found Pascal!"

The teacher asks all the students to draw something on the board that's exciting...

All the other kids draw rockets, jet planes, roller coasters, and so on. But little Johnny goes up to the board, draws a dot, and sits down.

The teacher says "Johnny, there's nothing exciting about a dot. How can a dot cause excitement?"

Johnny replies "That's not a dot, it's a period, and my sister just missed hers, and it's causing a lot of excitement at our house!"

Nerd joke.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing a rousing game of hide and seek. Einstein begins to count to ten. Pascal runs and hides. Newton draws a one meter by one meter square in the ground in front of Einstein then stands in the middle of it. Einstein reaches ten, uncovers his eyes, and exclaims Newton! I found you! You're it! Newton replies You didn't find me. You found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!


Newton, Einstein and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

Einstein is it and starts counting. Pascal immediately runs off and hides. Newton just stands there and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square and sits there waiting for Einstein to finish counting. When Einstein finishes counting, he immediately sees Newton, exclaiming, "You're it!" Newton only smiles and says, "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"

Asked an artist how he draws women so well.

He says "I have a day job."

An Artist Gets Mugged...

He goes to the police and draws them a picture.

The policeman says "That's a good picture, we could nail the guy with that."

"I dunno.." Says the rookie besides him. "It seems a bit sketchy."

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live in a house together

One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts one foot in a pauses.
She yells down the stairs, Was I getting in or out of the bath?
The 94-year-old yells back, I don't know.
I'll come up and see. She starts up the stairs and pauses.
Then she yells out, Was I going up the stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea and listening to her sisters.
She shakes her head and says, I sure hope I never get that forgetful.
She knocks on wood for good measure.
She then replies, I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door.

Physics Joke

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are all hanging out and bored so they decide to play hide and go seek. Einstein decides to count first, and as they are counting Pascal leaves to hide in a bush. Newton on the other hand draws a box under himself and just stands there. When Einstein is done counting he walks up to Newton and is like,"Newton, you're not even hiding". Newton then says,"Ah, but you found Newtons over meters squared! You found a Pascal!!".

The fashion of the present draws from the past...

Jesus slippers and Samurai top knots

A mathematician is paying for his groceries...

A mathmatician is paying for his groceries and the cashier asks for him to write his signature. He draws a single wave on the pad. When he sees the cashiers' confused look he says, "What? it says 'sign here'."

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein, the seeker, turns around and begins his count to 50. Pascal immediately runs off. Newton, however, takes a marker and draws a meter-by-meter square on the ground. When Einstein finishes his count, he turns around and sees Newton standing in his square. When Einstein exclaims that he found Newton, Newton responds with, "No, one Newton over a square meter is a pascal!"

Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein and Blaise Pascal are playing hide and seek

Einstein is counting down while Newton and Pascal are trying to hide. Pascal jumps into the bushes and Newton walks a few steps, picks up a stick, draws a square on the ground and just stands there. Einstein turns around and instantly spots Newton.

- Found you Newton, you lose!
- Now wait a minute good sir, can't you see what I drew below me? I am a Newton on a square meter so technically you found Pascal.

A man is scouring through his house

He's looking under his couch. He couldn't find it. He looks in his bedroom draws and under his bed. Still couldn't find it. He checks his car, front and back. He looks under the seats and no matter how hard he tries but he still can't find it. He looks through the bathroom and even in his wife's purse and still no luck finding it. His wife wakes up due to all of the noise. She says, "Honey, what are you looking for?" He responds "The punchline to this joke!"

Two guys stumble out of a bar on night to fight.

The first man draws a line in the dirt and says " if you cross this line i'll punch you"

That was the punch line.

If someone draws pictures of Eminem for a living.

Are they a professional martial artist?

I think the voice AI on my graphics tablet is broken

I say "Cock-a-doodle-do" and it draws me a dirty picture

Did you hear about the artist who only draws pictures of large crowds staring at her?

She's been drawing a lot of attention.

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim find a pile of coins.

They start arguing what they should take and what they should give to God.

The Christian draws a circle and says, We throw the coins into he air, and whatever lands in the circle, we keep.

The Muslim says, No no no. Whatever lands outside the circle we keep.

The Jew says, How about we throw it in the air, and whatever God wants, he keeps, and whatever falls to the ground we keep.

What do you call someone that draws Mongol leaders for a living?

A Khan Artist

An engineer, a lawyer and an accountant are at a job interview

The interviewer asked, what's 1 + 1.

The engineer draws up a plan and does some measurements and says. It appears that 1 + 1 is 2 .

The lawyer takes out his law book, checks all the rules then says according to the law, 1 + 1 is 2 .

The accountant takes out his book and calculator. Does a few calculations then whispers to the interviewer, What do you want the number to be?

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein, Newton, and Pascal are playing hide and seek, with Einstein seeking. As he counts down, Pascal goes and hides in the bushes but Newton stands in front of him, takes out a piece of chalk, and draws a square around himself on the ground. When Einstein reaches 0, he looks up and sees Newton and declares, "I've found Newton!"

Newton replies, "No you haven't. You've found one Newton over a square meter. You've found Pascal!"

Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight. One draws a line in the dirt and says, If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face.

That was the punch line.

Friends are making visual puns

One draws a box with an x on it
"its obviously xbox"
Another draws a station with play on it
"of course its playstation"
Another one draws two people with arrows pointing to eachother with one having nintendo on his shirt.
"its nintendo switch"
Finally one draws a girl with multicolored hair.
"its pc"

Your friend Mark draws on your word.

Mark, my word!

3 Mountain Men Are Sitting in a Bar Trying to decide What to Name Their Newly Settled Land

They throw all the letters of the alphabet into a hat and draw them out one at at a time.



The first draws, "'C', eh."

The second, "'N', eh."

The third, "'D', eh."

My friend draws beautiful nudes, starting from the feet, up. They're amazing art but he always throws them all away...

I think it's 'cuz he always finishes on the faces.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal play hide and seek.

It's Einstein's turn to be it.
Pascal is nowhere to be found, but Newton draws a 1m X 1m square right in front of Einstein and stands in its centre.
Einstein says, Newton, you're terrible! I found you right away!
Newton replies, No, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!

Newton, Einstein and Pascal meet in Heaven.

They're bored, so Einstein suggests they play hide and seek. Einstein starts counting to 10. Pascal runs to find a good hiding spot, Newton on the other hand stays in place. He draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square with chalk on the ground and stands in it. Einstein finished counting, turns around, notices Newton and says: Ha, gotcha Newton! , but Newton just replies: Nah man, you got Pascal.

Two drunk guys were about to get into a brawl.

One of the guys grabs a stick and draws a line in the dirt and says "If you cross this line, I'll hit you in the face".

That was the punchline.

A zoo's only gorilla dies...

so the zookeeper hires an actor to wear a gorilla costume until the zoo can get another one.

In the gorilla pen the actor makes faces, beats his chest, swings around, and soon draws a huge crowd. Encouraged, he then crawls atop a beam across the lion's enclosure, taunting the animal below. But, in horror, he lost his grip, falling into the lion's cage.

Terrified, the actor shouts, Help! Help me! Too late. The lion pounces, opens its massive jaws, and whispers urgently, Shut up! Do you want to get us both fired?!

Man: Why do I have to do it myself? I've donated blood before and a nurse draws it.

Receptionist: Yes sir, but this is a sperm bank, it doesn't work like that here.

Why can't you crack death jokes near an ECG machine?

Because ECG draws a line there

Sonny and Cher are playing scrabble. Sonny draws a tile out of the bag and Cher asks him what he picked.

He replies "I've got U babe"

A panda walks into a bar...

A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

"Panda: Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

Little Johnny is in school and they have show and tell.

The teacher asks the class to tell about something that happened in their family recently. When it is Johnny's turn. he walks to the board and draws two periods ". ." The teacher asks him to explain. He says"My sister missed these and my parents are real upset."

The Psychiatrist

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist draws a circle and shows it to him.

"What's this?" asks the psychiatrist.

"A tit," says the guy.

The psychiatrist then draws a square.

"What's this?

"It's a tit," says the guy.

The psychiatrist then draws a triangle and shows it to the guy.

"So, what do you think this is?"

"It's a tit!" yells the guy.

"Sir, I'm afraid you have serious sexual issues," says the psychiatrist.

"I have issues? What about you? You keep drawing tits!"

A German man on his first trip to America decides to see New York City.

As he's wandering around the smell of corned beef and fresh baked rye bread draws him into a Kosher deli. The man sits at the counter, eyes the menu and says, "I vood like to try ze bagel and ze lox." In a thick accent.

On his first bite he's throughly enjoying his food and pipes up to the guy behind the counter, "Zis is voonderbar! Zey do not have food like zis vere I am from."

In a heavy Brooklyn accent the guy behind the counter replies, "Now whose fault is that?"

A man goes to a psychiatrist for an evaluation

So the psychiatrist draws a horizontal line and asks him what that reminds him of. "A naked woman" he replies. So he draws a vertical line. "And this?" he asks "A naked woman." Doctor then draws an X and asks the same question. "Two people having sex." comes the answer. "Hmmmmm" goes the doctor. "It seems you have obsession with sex." he speculates.

"Me?" answers the shocked man. "Who drew all this filth?"

A teacher teaches class on drug abuse

He walks into the classroom, draws a big circle and a small circle on the blackboard and asks: What are these?

As nobody answers, he says: The big circle is your eye pupil, when you're clean, and the small circle is your eye pupil, when you're high! If the police see this, they put you in jail…

Then he proceeds to draw a small circle and a big circle and asks: What are these? . Nobody answers…

He points to the small circle and says: This is your asshole, before you go to jail….

A gangster approaches someone that has information and draws a gun on him.

"Okay, here's how it works," the gangster said. "You have information, and I want that information. So when I ask a question, you answer truthfully, and you may walk out of here alive."

"Ok, shoot" the man at gunpoint said.

In an attempt to break his addiction...

In an attempt to break his addiction, a chronic masturbator decides to buy a whiteboard and start tallying the days since he last jerked off. After a successful day, the man grabs a marker and draws two tallies, but realizing it had only been one day, he takes his hand and rubs one out.

My friend's eyebrows

I told my friend she draws her eyebrows too high.

She looked surprised.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the draws blackboard jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working draws chops piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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