Drawer Jokes
56 drawer jokes and hilarious drawer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drawer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Love a good laugh? Look no further than this collection of witty drawer jokes! From practical jokes and "junk drawer" humor to laughing until your sides are ajar, these drawer jokes will have you and your friends and family bookcase-rolling with laughter. Check them out today for some cheeky fun!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Drawer Short Jokes
Short drawer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drawer humour may include short collector jokes also.
- I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model of a horse for my birthday next month. I've just found a big piece of it hidden in her bedside drawer.
- Why does Mike Pence keep all of his clothes in drawers? Because he can't stand anything coming out of the closet.
- How to drive your wife wild in the bedroom. Leave all of the dresser drawers slightly ajar with a little piece of clothing sticking out.
- Non-duality humour Why do Buddhists only store their books in drawers?
Because they believe the shelf is an illusion. - Time to be creative. I'll give you the punchline, you give me the joke! A dresser without drawers.
- My toddler just found their way into the drawer where we keep the condoms. Don't worry, it's all baby-safe.
- A man has an option to turn into any object in the universe, he chose a butter knife. He wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer...
- furniture disease i just got home from the doctor's and i have really bad news.
turns out i have the furniture disease.
its where your chest hangs down past your drawers - what did the ram say when his mom found drugs in his dresser drawer? I learned it from watching ewe!
- I dropped in at my ex's house to pick up a few things. While rummaging through her drawers I was surprised to find about 20 different types of medication. I was expecting more...
Share These Drawer Jokes With Friends
Drawer One Liners
Which drawer one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drawer? I can suggest the ones about dealer and ripper.
- Where do geneticists store vegetables? In the CRISPR drawer
- Who won the furniture competition? It was a drawer
- I'm such a bad drawer. I can't hold clothes for my life.
- My dog got into my sock drawer today... I had to re-pair all my socks.
- Today i offended a group of drawers Apparently they prefer the term "artists"
- There is so much dust on that drawer that if you sneeze on it mattress will fall out.
- To the person who invented the drawers I don't know how you pulled this one out.
- My best friend is a good drawer, but he's pretty shelf-ish *cringe*
- A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
- What does an antonym find when he opens a dresser drawer? Clothes.
- "I can't find my gun" I exclaimed as I rifled through my drawers.
- My grandma suffers from Furniture Disease. Her chest fell into her drawers.
- Where did the Grim Reaper find his missing keys? On Death's drawer.
- Ill draw a drawer But I won't doodle a doodle.
- My sock drawer is like Tinder Theres allways a chance to find a pair.
Desk Drawer Jokes
Here is a list of funny desk drawer jokes and even better desk drawer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
Junk Drawer Jokes
Here is a list of funny junk drawer jokes and even better junk drawer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does Iggy Azalea have in her kitchen junk drawers? Mainly doodads doodads.
Amusing Drawer Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about drawer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean creator jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drawer pranks.
Who's This Guy
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.
Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.
He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry.
"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.
"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.
"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.
"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
Three nuns were talking about their chores...
Three nuns were talking about their chores. The first nun says: "I was putting away father's laundry, when i found some pornographic magazines in his drawer!"
"So what did you do?" The second nun asks.
"I threw them away." The first nun replies.
The second nun scoffs and says she can top that. "When I was making father's bed, I found some condoms underneath his pillow!"
"So what did you do?" The first nun asks.
"I poked holes in all of them!" The second nun exclaims.
The third nun fainted.
Three nuns are gossiping about a priest.
The first nun said, "I was going through father's desk and found pornographic magazines in his drawer."
The second nun gasped and asked, "What did you do with them?"
"I burned them."
The second nun then said, "I was going through father's drawers and found a box of condoms."
The first nun gasped and asked, "What did you do with them?"
"I poked holes in them."
The third nun fainted.
Topical Jokes for 9/5/14
(for best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night host)
In Oregon, a veterinarian discovered 43 socks in a Great Dane's stomach. The dog was taken to the vet when the owner wanted to find out why his sock drawer was growling.
To ward off evil spirits, a woman in India has married a stray dog. The woman's biggest complaint about being married to a dog — is everything.
A new study has determined that wearing a bra, does not cause breast cancer. The study did find that going without a bra, causes cancer of the eyes.
Eminemn has been entered into the Guinness Book of World Records by having nearly 1,500 words in the song Rap God. And only 700 of those were the f-word.
The World Health Organization announced that doctors should use the blood of Ebola survivors to treat other patients. This was in response to the question, What's the best way to spread the Ebola virus?
(Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed 'em)
A woman is cleaning out her husband's bedside table...
...and when she gets to the bottom drawer she finds 3 eggs and $3,458.
Confused, she asks her husband about it. He sighs, then says sadly, "You'd better sit down."
She sits, looking anxious. "We've been married for over 30 years", he starts, "and in that time, I've... well I've been unfaithful."
There's an awkward pause, then with tears in her eyes she asks, "What does that have to do with the eggs?" "Well," he explains "whenever I was unfaithful, I put an egg in the drawer."
"Well three times isn't that bad in 30 years, but what about the money?"
"Oh." the husband says, "Whenever I had a dozen eggs, I sold them."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man walks into a barber shop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.
"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech.
"And what if I s**... it?"
"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."
Saw a cucumber in my Wife's nightstand drawer...
Was really proud of her for sticking to her diet.
The worst moment in a child's life....
"Mum, the TV remote needs new batteries. Where can I find some?"
"Check the top drawer in my bedroom, there should be some in there."
I thought my new girlfriend might be the one.
But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided; if she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[Blonde] A blonde comes home early and finds her husband with another girl...
...so she runs out of the room and the husband follows her. She gets to the kitchen and grabs a gun from the drawer and points it at her head. The husband starts crying as tells her, "Wait don't do it I still love you it was just a mistake!" The blonde replies, "Shut up you're next!"
I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model...
I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model of a horse for my birthday next month.
I've just found a big piece of it hidden in her bedside drawer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
c**...
Many years ago
Just before leaving to meet my first real girlfriend,
My Dad pulled me into his bedroom,
He opened his bedside drawer and handed me a c**....
With a wink he said, 'Take care, Son, I'm proud of you'
To this day I'm not sure what was worse:
My Dad's knowledge and pride in what I was about to do,
or
Having used a c**... that was intended for my Mother.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I am a man trapped inside the body of a woman.
I will never keep l**... and glue in the same drawer ever again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I gently slid her p**... to the side...
....so I could fit her socks into the drawer
A guy starts his first day at a bakery...
The boss says, "We're a healthy, whole-food bakery, so we put vegetables in every type of bread that we make." He shows the new guy to the back room, where there are rows of file cabinets with pictures of vegetables on them.
"Here's where we keep the carrot dough," the boss says, opening a file drawer with a picture of a carrot on it. "And here's the zucchini dough."
"But what's this one with the picture of Kevin Spacey on it?" The new guy asks.
"Oh," the boss responds, "That's the pea dough file."
Our newborn got into my wife's underwear drawer and got all tangled up in her undergarments. My wife was worried, but I told her...
Ain't nothin' but a G-string baby.
When I was a toddler, my Italian mother caught me in her study.
I'd gotten into a drawer full of Greek plays. She walked in to catch me tearing Hippolytus in half. I'd done the same to others as well. The Bacchae, Heracles, Madea. As I stood there, happily shredding what had to be a 120 year old text, she began flailing and screaming.
"My a-beautiful boy, why? Why-a Euripides?"
The best part about Halloween is the trick or treaters....
...What a great way to get rid of all those old ketchup and hot sauce packets in the kitchen drawer
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Roommate: Where did you put the label maker?
Me: In the drawer labelled s**...-stuff
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I bought my wife a gift for Christmas and hid it in the perfect spot, a place she would never look.
I put it in her l**... drawer.
A chemist puts his money in a drawer and goes to sleep. The next day, he finds all his money has disappeared. Why?
Because the drawer also had antimony.
(Came up with this one from a meme I just saw) There's a bee in the drawer of my side table that buzzes and makes me think I got a new message on my phone...
Got a bee kiddin me.
I'm majoring in reverse psychology...
... and I ask my advisor if I should take on a second major in reverse engineering. She says
"I don't know about that, sounds pretty difficult."
I think for a second and decide, "I'll do it!"
She shrugs and says, "Alright, don't say I didn't warn you." With that, she opens a desk drawer and pulls out a BS in Reverse Engineering diploma with my name already on it. She slides it over to me and says
"Good luck figuring out how to earn it."
A little stunned, I say "Uh thanks. But how do you have this diploma with my name on it when I only now brought this up?"
"My second major was reverse history."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife.
Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your b**...!"
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un-rewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Heck is this??" he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She replied... "It's not talcum powder... it's Miracle Grow."
I needed to do the laundry, but then I realized I was out of detergent,
so I went to write a shopping list and realized how unorganized the junk drawer was, and started checking pens for ink. When I went to toss all the junk, I saw that the trash was full but before I took it out I wanted to get rid of old food in the fridge. That's when I realized a juice jug had leaked so I needed to clean it up but when I went to grab a rag, I saw that the pantry closet was a nightmare so I started organizing it.
And that's how I ended up on the floor looking at my old photo albums from 1990s and not doing laundry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At the barbershop
A man enters a barbershop for a shave.
While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.
\- "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.
\- "Just place this between your cheek and gum."
The client places the ball in his mouth and proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.
After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech
\- "And what if I s**... it?"
\- "No problem" says the barber.
\- "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!"
An Accountant's secret to success.
An accountant in a big firm had a very strange habit. Every morning he used to open his drawer, look at a paper, place the paper back in the drawer and then lock it again.
The trainees were very curious and often wondered if his success was hidden on that piece of paper.
So one day, when the accountant was out, the trainees decided to break the lock. When they broke the lock & took out the paper, it read:
'LEFT IS DEBIT AND RIGHT IS CREDIT'
