Draw Jokes
150 draw jokes and hilarious draw puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about draw that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A great way to make your friends laugh is with draw jokes! Learn how to draw anything from blood draw and easy-to-draw outlines to football draw, raffle draw, and chalk drawings. Impress your friends with your awesome and hilarious jokes that you drew yourself.
Funniest Draw Short Jokes
Short draw jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The draw humour may include short paint jokes also.
- A man arrived to a Duel with only a pen and a piece of paper He proceeded to draw his weapon
- Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body. I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
- The Artist I just saw a group of people who were watching an artist sketch all of them in his book. The man was good too, he really knew how to draw a crowd.
- My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin in order to draw out excess moisture. Wow thanks I'm cured.
- What has the head of a dog, the body of a pig, and the legs of a spider? My daughter's drawing of a snake.
- My wife has been penciling in her eyebrows lately… I think that she draws them a little high, so I told her. She just looked at me surprised
- What do you call a Norse god who doesn't draw much attention to themselves? Low Key.......!
- I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics. But graphing is where I draw the line!
- I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head but from a distance they looked like hares
- I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows. One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised.
Share These Draw Jokes With Friends
Draw One Liners
Which draw one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with draw? I can suggest the ones about graph and drag.
- Why do North Koreans draw line so well? They have a Supreme Ruler.
- Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines? Because they have a supreme ruler
- Look, I'm all for coloring books... but connect-the-dots? That's where I draw the line.
- I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high... She looked surprised.
- Does anyone know how to draw a very realistic bullet? Because I'm drawing a blank.
- What do you call a woman who can't draw? Tracy
- I'll do Algebra, even put up with Trigonometry But Graphing is where I draw the line
- How do you draw the most realistic fish? It must be drawn to scale.
- What do you call a chicken's sidewalk drawing? A chalk-a-doodle-do!
(Cr - I watched a soccer game that ended in a 1-1 draw... No 1-1
- I don't trust people who can draw... They all seem kinda sketchy.
- New drinking game! Draw a card. If it's black take a shot. I call it the Ferguson
- How do you make your wife scream after s**...? Wipe your d**... on the curtain.
- I drink alcohol without hesitation, but drugs, …drugs is where I draw the line.
- I went to an art contest recently... It ended in a draw.
Blood Draw Jokes
Here is a list of funny blood draw jokes and even better blood draw puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood. - Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable." Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag." - Why does the blonde nurse take a red pen to work? In case she has to draw blood.
- Why do school nurses bring a red crayon to work? So they can draw blood
- Why do nurses like red crayons? Sometimes they have to draw blood
- Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen? To draw blood.
- Why does the nurse always carry a red pen while at work? To draw blood.
- Why did Count Dracula fail art class? He could only draw blood.
- VA Nurse joke What is the difference between a VA nurse and a bullet?
* A bullet can draw blood
* A bullet can be fired
* A bullet can only kill one person - What do an artist and a phlebotomist have in common? They both know how to draw blood.
Easy To Draw Jokes
Here is a list of funny easy to draw jokes and even better easy to draw puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I just learned how to Draw Blood in Nursing school! It's real easy, you just need something that writes in red!
Amusing Draw Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about draw you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chart jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make draw pranks.
I found out why nurses carry red crayons...
In case they have to draw blood.
Why does the artist never win?
Because he can only draw.
Jimmy approached his teacher
After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!
I used to think my drawings made me autistic...
it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston.
Three Priest are deciding what to do with the church donations for the week
One priest suggests that they draw a circle, throw all the money in tha air and whatever lands inside the circle they give to God. The second priest suggests that they draw a circle, throw the money in the air, and whatever lands outside of the circle they give to God. The third priest suggests that they simply throw the money into the air, and whatever God wants he takes.
What do you call a women who cant draw?
Trace
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Great Dane: So what are you here for?
Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for s**... so they're having me castrated, you?
Great Dane: My mistress does the housework n**..., she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.
Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?
Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.
Did you hear about the fractal that was murdered in the street?
It took police forever to draw the chalk outline.
Shakespeare jokes
Said hamlet of ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?
-Some of Spike Milligan's finest work
In a primary school...
The teacher asks students to draw female reproductive system. A girl in the class puts her head down out of shyness. A boy looks at her and exclaims "Ma'am she's copying!".
Dad just laid this one on me:
Why do I have a red pen in my pocket?
So I can draw blood. . .
Wa wa waaaaaaaa
I, too, went to a mixed religion seminar...
...But in the hopes of learning more about charity. First I asked a Buddhist monk: "How do you decide what to give away and what to keep for yourself?" "Child's play", he said. "I draw a small circle in the ground, throw my money into the air, and what falls outside of the circle I give to Buddha". Next I asked a catholic priest. "Easy my son", he told me. "All I do is draw a small circle in earth, throw my money to the heavens, and what falls into the circle I give to God". Finally, I asked a Rabbi. "Simple!" he answered. "I throw my money into the air and what god wants, he takes!"
The teacher asks all the students to draw something on the board that's exciting...
All the other kids draw rockets, jet planes, roller coasters, and so on. But little Johnny goes up to the board, draws a dot, and sits down.
The teacher says "Johnny, there's nothing exciting about a dot. How can a dot cause excitement?"
Johnny replies "That's not a dot, it's a period, and my sister just missed hers, and it's causing a lot of excitement at our house!"
When I draw a fish I always....
... Draw it to scale
I have two friends who always compete against each other in art competitions
But they always end in a draw
How do you draw an Overwatch character?
You Tracer.
It was time to name Canada
All the 4 founding hosiers were sitting around and no one could agree on a name. They finally decided to put a bunch of letters in a hat and 3 people would draw one out at a time while the last transcribed the name.
The first guy drew and read, "C, eh?"
The next drew, "N, eh?"
Finally the last maple head drew and said, "D, eh?"
A man showed up for a duel armed only with a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
I found the rulebook for an old card game at my grandfather's house.
"Draw a card, if it's black, take a shot."
Oh wait, that's just the LAPD guidebook.
Why are there no hand paintings from the old west?
Because they could only draw guns.
Why can't fashion designers play uno?
Because they always draw a cardigan.
Just gonna say...
Number of times Leonard Cohen died before Trump was elected - 0
Number of times after - 1
Draw your own conclusions...
A teacher asks class to draw and colour a duck holding an umbrella
She notices j**... colouring his duck blue and asks "where did you see a blue duck?" He replies "where did you see a duck holding an umbrella?"
I haven't drawn in so long that
I'm feeling sketchy
I'll do algebra, I'll do trigonometry, I'll even do statistics...
But graphing is where I draw the line!
Actually, graphing is fine, but calculus is my limit.
A gruff looking guy approached me on the street saying he can draw my portrait for $2
It sounds sketchy
There are two types of people in the world
Those who can draw a conclusion from a single piece of information
International Boundaries
An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots and French in Canada, and how they intermarried with the Indians. "You'll find," he said "quite a number of Scot & French half-breeds, but you will not find any English half-breeds."
A Scot in the audience shouted, "The Indians have to draw the line somewhere!"
I am an incredible artist...
I can draw anything but attention.
Why are artist bad at Uno?
Because they Draw a lot
A cowboy kept trying to draw his gun
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a pencil.
The pen is not mightier than the sword.
But if the pen is long and sharp, it may be a draw.
You know that famous painter Rorschach?
Why does he only draw d**...?
I remember having this little plastic cut out shapes to help with drawing when I was little.
I used to be really obsessive about them actually, I'd spend hours. But there would always be more to draw around.
Then I had this realization, that I'd never be done. I'd run out before I could finish. It was weirdly horrifying and morbid.
But anyway that's the story of my first extra stencil crisis.
When Canada was first founded, its leaders were having trouble coming up with a name.
Unable to come up with any ideas, they decided the best course of action would be to draw random letters out of a hat.
One man pulled out a letter, cleared his t**..., and read,
"C, eh."
The letter was written down. The man pulled out another letter and read,
"N, eh."
This, too, was recorded. The man drew one more letter and read,
"D, eh."
Fullmetal Alchemist is so unrealistic
I mean how can they draw such perfect circles?
Why can't women in Texas legally get tattoos?
It is the code of the west... never draw on a woman.
When Canada was first unified, they realized they needed a name for this new country, so they decided to draw letters oot of a basket to name it.
The first prime minister went up on stage and started pulling letters and announcing them to the crowd. "C, eh?"..."N, eh?"..."D, eh?"
The other day I got lost in the jungle but luckily I had a compass
So i was able to draw perfect circles with a pencil
What's the toughest thing for an artist to draw?
A salary.
(Credit to u/arguablytrue)
Three priests gathered together for a drink .
During their get together ,the host ask the other two :
- How do you split your money with the Lord ?
"I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest.
The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" .
"How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest.
I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.
I was drawing a graph for my report expecting a straight line. But I got a curve.
What a plot twist
I like math for the most part...
But graphing is where I draw the line.
I'm okay with smoking, alcohol, and m**....
But c**... is where I draw the line.
I got frustrated when my friend couldn't draw a 2 sided closed shape.
But then I decided to let bi-gons be bygones.
An old woman visits a lawyer to draw up a will. He completes the process and charges her $100. She hands him a crisp, brand new $100 bill and as she turns to leave the lawyer notices another $100 bill stuck to it. His moral dilemma is causing him great discomfort because...
He can't decide if he should tell his partner.
I was in an art competition last week.
It ended in a draw.
I'm fine with alchohol, cigarettes and m**...
But coccaine is where I draw the line
My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why.
I had to draw my own conclusions.
I may be a thief, but I would never steal a ruler...
That's where I draw the line.
My son had a bad habit of drawing everywhere. First he started vandalising his toys, then the newspapers and eventually the furniture. But when he drew on the walls I had to stop him.
Because that's where I draw the line
An artist has a 6 year old child who also likes to draw
His child drew a horse.
The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly."
The child replied, "How did I draw it wrongly?"
The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?"
The child replied, "Why can't it have wings?"
The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings."
The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse?"
I was asked to draw tampons throughout the ages but I wonder...
Do they have to be period accurate?
If you want to learn how to draw superheroes start with Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy
He's just a fancy stick figure
My family is all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles. It's OK though...
I know where to draw the line...
I feel like most drugs are ok.
But c**... is where I draw the line.
How many flat-earthers does it take to draw an arrow?
None. They can't make a point.
why did the nurse need a red pen to work
incase she had to draw blood
I wanted to make a joke about people that do drugs
But that's where I draw the line
My uncle swore to me that if i wanted to attract girls, I mean REALLY draw in the chicks, I should roll up a sock and put it in my pants.
I did this at a high school dance, and I when I got home, he asked me if I tried it and did it work. I told him it did not help at all, and only made things worse. He looked down and said, Well you were supposed to put it in the FRONT!
I don't see why some people use fractions instead of decimals
It's pointless, but anyway you gotta draw the line somewhere or else people will think you're being irrational. But that's beside the point
Trump will still be president of The United States after January 20th
He's having Rudy draw up the paperwork to form The United States Total Landscaping Co. as we speak!
Recently I've been learning how to draw optical illusions so I can surprise my girlfriend with one on her birthday.
Unfortunately she walked in and caught me practicing the other day.
Her: "What's that!"
Me: "I can explain...it's not what it looks like!"
