Draw Jokes
150 draw jokes and hilarious draw puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about draw that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A great way to make your friends laugh is with draw jokes! Learn how to draw anything from blood draw and easy-to-draw outlines to football draw, raffle draw, and chalk drawings. Impress your friends with your awesome and hilarious jokes that you drew yourself.
Funniest Draw Short Jokes
Short draw jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The draw humour may include short paint jokes also.
- A man arrived to a Duel with only a pen and a piece of paper He proceeded to draw his weapon
- Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad I let her draw things on my body. I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
- The Artist I just saw a group of people who were watching an artist sketch all of them in his book. The man was good too, he really knew how to draw a crowd.
- What has the head of a dog, the body of a pig, and the legs of a spider? My daughter's drawing of a snake.
- What do you call a Norse god who doesn't draw much attention to themselves? Low Key.......!
- I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head but from a distance they looked like hares
- I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows. One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised.
- My older brother always tore the last pages of my comic books, and never told me why. I had to draw my own conclusions.
- A gruff looking guy approached me on the street saying he can draw my portrait for $2 It sounds sketchy
- Why did the nurse need a red pen at work? Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.
Share These Draw Jokes With Friends
Draw One Liners
Which draw one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with draw? I can suggest the ones about graph and drag.
- Why do North Koreans draw line so well? They have a Supreme Ruler.
- Look, I'm all for coloring books... but connect-the-dots? That's where I draw the line.
- Does anyone know how to draw a very realistic bullet? Because I'm drawing a blank.
- What do you call a woman who can't draw? Tracy
- I'll do Algebra, even put up with Trigonometry But Graphing is where I draw the line
- How do you draw the most realistic fish? It must be drawn to scale.
- What do you call a chicken's sidewalk drawing? A chalk-a-doodle-do!
(Cr - I watched a soccer game that ended in a 1-1 draw... No 1-1
- I don't trust people who can draw... They all seem kinda sketchy.
- New drinking game! Draw a card. If it's black take a shot. I call it the Ferguson
- How do you make your wife scream after s**...? Wipe your d**... on the curtain.
- I drink alcohol without hesitation, but drugs, …drugs is where I draw the line.
- I went to an art contest recently... It ended in a draw.
- Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable." Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag." - What do you call it when you giggle while you're drawing ? A snicker-doodle!
Blood Draw Jokes
Here is a list of funny blood draw jokes and even better blood draw puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen? To draw blood.
- Why did Count Dracula fail art class? He could only draw blood.
- VA Nurse joke What is the difference between a VA nurse and a bullet?
* A bullet can draw blood
* A bullet can be fired
* A bullet can only kill one person - What do an artist and a phlebotomist have in common? They both know how to draw blood.
- Why did the hospital send all the nurses to art school So they could learn how to draw blood
- I stuck my hand in my pocket and my pencil stabbed me Thankfully it didn't draw blood
- What doctor should never draw your blood? Dr acula
- I just can't draw blood With this orange crayon.
It isn't sharp enough. - Why does a phlebotomist carry a red pen? To draw blood!!!
- I went to the doctor's office. The phlebotomist appeared, holding a sketchbook and a pencil, and said... "Hold still so I can draw your blood."
Easy To Draw Jokes
Here is a list of funny easy to draw jokes and even better easy to draw puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I just learned how to Draw Blood in Nursing school! It's real easy, you just need something that writes in red!
Amusing Draw Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about draw you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chart jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make draw pranks.
Pupil shows art for teacher
A pupil came and showed something that he draw. He said that he drawed a cow eating grass. The teacher said: But there's nothing there! Then the pupil said: It's because the cow ate all the grass and went away to look for some more grass.
*Excuse my grammar, not perfect at english*
Why does the artist never win?
Because he can only draw.
Jimmy approached his teacher
After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!
I used to think my drawings made me autistic...
it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston.
Three Priest are deciding what to do with the church donations for the week
One priest suggests that they draw a circle, throw all the money in tha air and whatever lands inside the circle they give to God. The second priest suggests that they draw a circle, throw the money in the air, and whatever lands outside of the circle they give to God. The third priest suggests that they simply throw the money into the air, and whatever God wants he takes.
A man goes to a church and asks the priest...
..."How do you know how much money you give to God, and how much do you keep for yourself?"
The priest responds, "I draw a circle on the ground and then stand in it. Next, I shout 'Lord, keep the money you want, but send the rest back down!' Finally, I throw the money up in the air."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Two dogs are at the vet talking.
Great Dane: So what are you here for?
Poodle: Well I've been wandering around the neighborhood too much lately looking for s**... so they're having me castrated, you?
Great Dane: My mistress does the housework n**..., she was bending over cleaning the vegetable draw in the fridge and I just couldn't help myself so I went for it.
Poodle: So you're here for castration too hey?
Great Dane: No, I'm here to get my claws trimmed.
Did you hear about the fractal that was murdered in the street?
It took police forever to draw the chalk outline.
Shakespeare jokes
Said hamlet of ophelia,
I'll draw a sketch of thee,
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?
-Some of Spike Milligan's finest work
In a primary school...
The teacher asks students to draw female reproductive system. A girl in the class puts her head down out of shyness. A boy looks at her and exclaims "Ma'am she's copying!".
Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle?
Nobody can.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dad just laid this one on me:
Why do I have a red pen in my pocket?
So I can draw blood. . .
Wa wa waaaaaaaa
I, too, went to a mixed religion seminar...
...But in the hopes of learning more about charity. First I asked a Buddhist monk: "How do you decide what to give away and what to keep for yourself?" "Child's play", he said. "I draw a small circle in the ground, throw my money into the air, and what falls outside of the circle I give to Buddha". Next I asked a catholic priest. "Easy my son", he told me. "All I do is draw a small circle in earth, throw my money to the heavens, and what falls into the circle I give to God". Finally, I asked a Rabbi. "Simple!" he answered. "I throw my money into the air and what god wants, he takes!"
The teacher asks all the students to draw something on the board that's exciting...
All the other kids draw rockets, jet planes, roller coasters, and so on. But little Johnny goes up to the board, draws a dot, and sits down.
The teacher says "Johnny, there's nothing exciting about a dot. How can a dot cause excitement?"
Johnny replies "That's not a dot, it's a period, and my sister just missed hers, and it's causing a lot of excitement at our house!"
When I draw a fish I always....
... Draw it to scale
I have two friends who always compete against each other in art competitions
But they always end in a draw
How do you draw an Overwatch character?
You Tracer.
An artist found a way to draw a two-sided figure, but the International Geometry Summit immediately began to furiously contest the new shape...
I say, let bi-gons be bi-gons
It was time to name Canada
All the 4 founding hosiers were sitting around and no one could agree on a name. They finally decided to put a bunch of letters in a hat and 3 people would draw one out at a time while the last transcribed the name.
The first guy drew and read, "C, eh?"
The next drew, "N, eh?"
Finally the last maple head drew and said, "D, eh?"
I found the rulebook for an old card game at my grandfather's house.
"Draw a card, if it's black, take a shot."
Oh wait, that's just the LAPD guidebook.
Why are there no hand paintings from the old west?
Because they could only draw guns.
Why can't fashion designers play uno?
Because they always draw a cardigan.
Just gonna say...
Number of times Leonard Cohen died before Trump was elected - 0
Number of times after - 1
Draw your own conclusions...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teacher asks class to draw and colour a duck holding an umbrella
She notices j**... colouring his duck blue and asks "where did you see a blue duck?" He replies "where did you see a duck holding an umbrella?"
What did saitama draw with a pen and a ruler
One punchline
I haven't drawn in so long that
I'm feeling sketchy
A cowboy and architect walk into a bar
The architect challenges anyone who can design the best building in 5 minutes
The cowboy accepts the challenge
The architect and cowboy are handed a pen and paper
The bartender counts them down and says "3..2..1.. draw!"
And the cowboy shoots the architect
International Boundaries
An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots and French in Canada, and how they intermarried with the Indians. "You'll find," he said "quite a number of Scot & French half-breeds, but you will not find any English half-breeds."
A Scot in the audience shouted, "The Indians have to draw the line somewhere!"
I am an incredible artist...
I can draw anything but attention.
Why are artist bad at Uno?
Because they Draw a lot
A cowboy kept trying to draw his gun
Unfortunately, he couldn't find a pencil.
The pen is not mightier than the sword.
But if the pen is long and sharp, it may be a draw.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know that famous painter Rorschach?
Why does he only draw d**...?
In an art class
The teacher ask the students to draw an animal
So one of them drew a dot
The teacher ask him what is this
He said " an elephant standing far away "
If someone draws pictures of Eminem for a living.
Are they a professional martial artist?
Give a Newfie a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a Newfie to fish,
He'll draw unemployment all winter long.
Fullmetal Alchemist is so unrealistic
I mean how can they draw such perfect circles?
Since passing my art exam, I've become very patronizing.
If you don't know what that means, I'll draw you a picture.
You know, if you and me were to have a sketching competition...
We'd draw
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you guys ever heard of this artist Rorschach?
All he does is draw pictures of d**.... Over and over and over.
What's the toughest thing for an artist to draw?
A salary.
(Credit to u/arguablytrue)
My brother plays soccer for a team called the Musketeers
They've started the season well with three wins and a draw, all 4-1 and one 4 all.
Three priests gathered together for a drink .
During their get together ,the host ask the other two :
- How do you split your money with the Lord ?
"I draw a line on the floor in my church ,then ,i throw the money in the air ,whatever is on my side I get to keep ,whatever falls on his side he keeps it" sais the first priest.
The second one replies "well I draw circle and then I' throw the money in the air ,whatever falls inside the circle is mine ,whatever Falls outside the circle is His" .
"How do you split your money ?" they both ask the host priest.
I' just throw the money in the air and he keeps whatever he wants.
I was drawing a graph for my report expecting a straight line. But I got a curve.
What a plot twist
I like math for the most part...
But graphing is where I draw the line.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin in order to draw out excess moisture.
Wow thanks I'm cured.
I got frustrated when my friend couldn't draw a 2 sided closed shape.
But then I decided to let bi-gons be bygones.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm fine with alchohol, cigarettes and m**...
But coccaine is where I draw the line
I may be a thief, but I would never steal a ruler...
That's where I draw the line.
My son had a bad habit of drawing everywhere. First he started vandalising his toys, then the newspapers and eventually the furniture. But when he drew on the walls I had to stop him.
Because that's where I draw the line
An artist has a 6 year old child who also likes to draw
His child drew a horse.
The artist asked, "You drew the horse wrongly."
The child replied, "How did I draw it wrongly?"
The artist said, "Why does the horse have wings?"
The child replied, "Why can't it have wings?"
The artist said, "It isn't a horse if it has wings."
The child replied, "Then why did you call it a horse?"
I was asked to draw tampons throughout the ages but I wonder...
Do they have to be period accurate?
If you want to learn how to draw superheroes start with Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy
He's just a fancy stick figure
My family is all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles. It's OK though...
I know where to draw the line...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many flat-earthers does it take to draw an arrow?
None. They can't make a point.
I wanted to make a joke about people that do drugs
But that's where I draw the line
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My uncle swore to me that if i wanted to attract girls, I mean REALLY draw in the chicks, I should roll up a sock and put it in my pants.
I did this at a high school dance, and I when I got home, he asked me if I tried it and did it work. I told him it did not help at all, and only made things worse. He looked down and said, Well you were supposed to put it in the FRONT!
I don't see why some people use fractions instead of decimals
It's pointless, but anyway you gotta draw the line somewhere or else people will think you're being irrational. But that's beside the point
Trump will still be president of The United States after January 20th
He's having Rudy draw up the paperwork to form The United States Total Landscaping Co. as we speak!
Recently I've been learning how to draw optical illusions so I can surprise my girlfriend with one on her birthday.
Unfortunately she walked in and caught me practicing the other day.
Her: "What's that!"
Me: "I can explain...it's not what it looks like!"
Used to know this guy who always tried to draw attention to the fact he was half-horse.
Never could stop being the centaur of attention.
Why are artists so good at self control?
Because they always know where to draw the line.
