Drapes Jokes

18 drapes jokes and hilarious drapes puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drapes that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Drapes Short Jokes

Short drapes jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drapes humour may include short curtains jokes also.

  1. A girl I was dating invited me over to her place. When I went into her room, she had a Soviet banner draped on her wall. I left immediately. It was a big red flag.
  2. The next time your gf gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and exlaim: Now you're SUPER ANGRY
    Maybe she'll laugh
    Maybe you'll die
  3. I keep reading about all these patriots, draped in bright colors and repeating exactly what is said to them, though without any real understanding. Did they maybe mean to write "parrots?"
  4. Met a cute girl with purple hair. Jokingly asked her "Does the carpet match the drapes?"
    She replies "No carpet, hard wood".
  5. Yes, I'm a natural blonde. I would say the drapes match the carpet... But I prefer hardwood.
  6. Yo momma's so poor, I visited her house, tore down the cob webs, and she screamed, "Who's tearing down the drapes!"
  7. Mexican Magician A Mexican magician was known for his vanishing act. He would drape a sheet over his head and count:
    "Uno! Dos!"...........p**...! the sheet fell flat.
    He was gone without a Tres.

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Drapes One Liners

Which drapes one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drapes? I can suggest the ones about robes and bed sheets.

  1. Who was the shadiest rapper to collaborate with Snoop Dogg? Dr. Drapes
  2. If the carpet matches the drapes I'll install the hardwood for free
  3. What is it called when you buy drapes over the phone? A curtain call.
  4. What did the Indian woman say to the three meter drape? You'll be sari.
  5. Does the carpet match the drapes? Nope, I've got hardwood.
  6. How can you tell a skinhead is s**... down there When the carpet matches the drapes

Drapes joke, How can you tell a skinhead is s**... down there

Hilarious Fun Drapes Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about drapes you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shower curtain jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drapes pranks.

A guy picked up an amazing red-head.

She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Things were getting hot and heavy and he whispered in her ear, "So, does the carpet match the drapes?"
She whispered back, "It's laminate, see for yourself."
So in anticipation he slid his hand up her thigh and past her skirt. Sure enough she had wood.

A man is drinking at a bar and meets a redheaded woman, not realizing that she is transgender

Already drunk, the man decided to ask, "Does the carpet match the drapes?" The transgender woman replies, "There's no carpet, only hardwood."

A beautiful woman asked me if the carpet matched the drapes.

I told her there was no carpet. . . just hard wood.
That's a real dream I had last night. I woke up with more giggles than I should have.

The General's Butler

A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his butler.
Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army, the general said. Nothing to it, you'll catch on again fast.
Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you.

Two girls move into a dorm, one from Georgia and the other from Connecticut...

The girl from GA arrives to the dorm room and finds the CT girl with her parents hanging drapes. The GA girl says "Hi, y'all! Where y'all from?" The CT girl, in a snobbish northeast attitude replies, "We're from a place where we don't end sentences in prepositions." The GA smiles politely and responds, "Beg my pardon. Where y'all from...c**...?"
Props to House of Cards for this joke, although I'm sure it's been done before.

Drapes joke, How can you tell a skinhead is s**... down there