Drain Jokes
62 drain jokes and hilarious drain puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about drain that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you think you know all the jokes about drains? Read this article to find out and explore the world of clogged drains, blocked drains, storm drains, shower drains, and drain pipes! Laugh your way through the funniest jokes and stories related to sewage, tubs, and flushing.
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Funniest Drain Short Jokes
Short drain jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The drain humour may include short colander jokes also.
- I got my first job as an accountant at 22, right out of college. Suddenly, the week after I turned 30, they fired me. 13 years of loyal service to the company, down the drain.
- I've decided to quit my job as a Personal Trainer, I'm always feeling drained, and just not physically up to it.. So I've just handed in my too weak notice..
- Last night my wife asked me if I wanted to dress up as a clown, hide in the drains and scare her but I didn't really feel like It.
- I was sorting out my loose change when I dropped a 1p coin and saw it roll into a drain, which everyone around me thought was hilarious. Laughing at my ex-pence.
- A dolphin trespassed and took over my pool... I guess I could drain it, but that would defeat the porpoise.
- What do you get when you drain a hot tub full of clowns? Several gallons of laughing stock.
- It's strange that we don't hear more concern from the flat earthers about Antarctica melting You'd think they would be worried about the ice wall springing a leak and draining the ocean.
- NASA just reported they have lost contact with Voyager 1 after it crashed into something in the dark abyss of space Apparently they found my ex's heart, which drains all energy.
- Weight-loss pills are very effective... They drain your bank account so you don't have money for food.
- Bathroom Poetry This little throne I call my own
I aim to keep it neat
So drain your soul, pee down the hole
And not upon the seat
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Drain One Liners
Which drain one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with drain? I can suggest the ones about ditch and drill.
- What fuels electronics but drains a relationship? Battery
- March 11 is World Plumbing Day. I'd make a dad joke about it... ...but I'm drained.
- I felt super exhausted after giving blood. It's such a draining procedure.
- Why's the sink depressed? It's been feeling drained
- Why are Plumbers always so tired? Because their job is draining.
- I just lost 150 pounds of useless, life draining fat I got a divorce.
- Don't get me wrong I like my plumbing job… But sometimes I find it draining
- My last few relationships have drained the life from me. I'm something of a tick magnet.
- What does a coke freak and a plumber have in common? They both love to catch a drain.
- I just bought a bottle of Drano... Well that was $4 down the drain.
- My wife complained that long baths feel draining So I got her a plug.
- I had to quit my job as a pool cleaner... It was too draining.
- What do you call an exhausted woman on her period? Drained
- I slipped in the shower yesterday... Almost lost 28 years down the drain...
- A small boy saved a clown from a stormwater drain. Police cannot believe It!
Shower Drain Jokes
Here is a list of funny shower drain jokes and even better shower drain puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- my shower thoughts kept getting deeper and deeper and deeper... then i realized it was because i had the drain-plug in.
- The number of times my shower drain has been clogged since my girlfriend has moved out has been zero Also the number of times I've gotten laid since she moved out has also been zero.
- My wife yells at me when I go to the bathroom in the shower... I don't know what her problem is - I shove it down the drain with a stick.
Storm Drain Jokes
Here is a list of funny storm drain jokes and even better storm drain puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Saw some workers on my street replacing a storm drain cover and decided to offer them some words of encouragement: You guys are doing a grate job.
Ridiculous Drain Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about drain you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean discharge jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make drain pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wife: "I s**... down there. You know what that means..."
Husband: "Yeah, the drain is clogged again."
In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?
Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....
Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger....
Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now if you would be so kind as to proceed to bed no.39
Four engineers in a car...
Four engineers are driving to a conference when the car sputters and dies as they pull off to the shoulder. After a moment of silent contemplation, the electrical engineer says; "you know, I bet the coil's bad. We need to replace the core." The chemical engineer says; "you're nuts, it's obviously the fuel's gone bad. We need to drain the tank and refill." The mechanical engineer scoffs; "you're both wrong. Sounds to me like a valve lifter is froze. We're gonna need to rip the block apart."
After another moment of silence the three look back at the computer engineer who says; "maybe if we get out of the car and get back in?"
Everyone thinks the same thing when buying Drano.
What a waste of money! That's $5 down the drain...
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you have two cows,
Socialism: The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor
Communism: You give them to the government and the government gives you some milk
Fascism: You keep the cows and give the milk to the government, then the government sells you some milk
New Dealism: You shoot one and milk the other, then you pour the milk down the drain
n**...: The government shoots you and keeps the cows
Capitalism: You sell one and buy a bull. Then put both of them in your wife's name and declare bankruptcy.
Environmentalism: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them
Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned
Binaryism: You have 10 cows
What do you call a urologist who accidentally dumps his entire practice's supply of Flomax down the drain?
In trouble with his peers.
My parents told me I could be anything when I grew up.
So I became a drain on society
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to catch a polar bear
Needed tools: one can of Jolly Green Giant Green Peas and an ice saw.
Step one: cut a polar bear sized hole in the ice
Step two: drain the juice from the peas and place them one at a time all the way around the hole you just cut in the ice.
Step three: when the polar bear come along to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
if a plumber's career can go down the drain...
And a fireman's job can go up in smoke, can a h**... get laid off?
A boy tells his father that humans are cruel
"Hmm okay, but why?" asked the father.
"Well some people out there are hanging horses" said the son.
The father let out a confused chuckle, "What do you mean people are hanging horses?!"
The son tells him "well I overheard mum telling her friend that the plumber who came over to fix the drain pipes was hung like a horse."
Trump is doing what he promised, draining the swamp.
You can't build a bigger swamp until you drain the old one
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the most effective way to drain a swamp?
Pour toxic orange sludge into it and the community will mobilize to drain it for you.
I heard Dreamworks next picture will be about ale drinking in the Middle Ages...
It's called "How to Drain Your Flagon".
Moses may have parted the Red Sea...
But tampons were able to drain it.
I had to defrost my fridge but I forgot to empty the drain box.
Now it's just water under the fridge.
What was under Prince's autopsy table?
Purple Drain
A man noticed another man throwing 50 dollar bills into a drain
What are you doing?!! He asked.
I accidentally dropped a dollar down there the man responded.
So why are you throwing even more money in?
There's no way I am going to crawl down there for just a dollar
A man goes to an asylum and asks
How do you admit your patients? The psychiatrist says Well, we fill a bathtub full of water then give them a spoon, a cup and a bucket then we tell them to empty the bathtub . The man replies I see, so the sane person would take the bucket , and the psychiatrist replies No, the sane person will pull the drain plug. Would you like your room to have a balcony sir?
My wife got mad at me for buying $10,000 worth of toilet paper.
She said i was flushing all of our money down the drain.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Using the latest animated film to p**... train my son...
How to drain your dragon.
What do you call it when you drop your keys down the drain.
A peechain
I was talking to my plumber...
I told him, "Mario, I'm growing a big bushy mustache like yours, so I got this hair trap to prevent the stray mustache hairs from clogging my drain. It's working great, and I'm thinking of keeping the mustache, so I figure maybe I should get some plumbing epoxy and affix the hair trap to the pipes. What do you think?"
My plumber responded, "Listen, if it ain't a-broke..."
Armed robbers. Some say they're a drain on society.
But you've got to give it to them...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when you hit someone dyslexic very hard on the head?
Drain bamage
And potentially jail time.
A woman was caught with drugs in her hand by a cop while in the bathroom of a nightclub
The woman swears that the drugs are not hers and promises that, "They aren't mine - I found them here and I tried to flush them down the toilet. However, every single time I flush the drugs down the drain they just keep re-appearing magically in my hands or my pockets!"
The cop, obviously in disbelief, tells the woman, "Show me."
So the woman tosses the bag of drugs into the toilet, then flushes it. The bag swishes down. The cop then stares at the woman's empty hand as the bag is flushed down.
"Well," says the cop, "where are the drugs now?"
"What drugs?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A detective story
11:45 - arrived at crime scene
11:45 - Examined body. sign of struggle
11:45 - Found m**... weapon in drain
11:45 - Realised watch was broken
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to make macaroni and cheese
Boil a p**... of water, put pasta in water and wait until soft.
Drain water from pasta.
Go into trash can to retrieve box because you forgot how much butter to add
add butter and mix
go back into trash to retrieve box because you forgot how much milk to add
add milk and cheese and mix.
realize you left box on counter this time and throw it out again.
Tonight I did a delivery to the local mental asylum.
Being curious, I asked the doctor how do they determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the doctor, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the doctor, "A normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director: "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"
"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient, and then ask them to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would just use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the bathtub drain plug....do you want a bed near the window?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
my friend was found dead in a drain.
The police said he had killed himself.
"How can you be sure" I asked.
They said "it's clearly sewer-cide"
The Monkees visit a bar every Tuesday...
Each time they visit, they never finish their drinks, leaving them for the waiter to tidy up.
One night, the waiter approaches Micky Dolenz:
"Excuse me sir, you waste $30 on drinks every Tuesday that just get thrown down the drain. Why do you do it?"
Micky turns to the waiter and smiles. "Haven't you heard? I'm a beer leaver."
