The Best 39 Drac Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Drac jokes. There are some drac goblin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these drac envious puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Drac Jokes and Puns

What did Dracula say to the teacher?

See you next period.


Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math? Because he likes to Count.

How can you tell when Dracula is sick?

By his coughin'

Drac joke, How can you tell when Dracula is sick?

Where does Dracula buy his writing supplies?


What's 50 Cent's new name?

50 Drachma.

Where does Dracula buy his pencils?


Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

Drac joke, Why did Dracula need medicine?

What did Dracula say to the disappointed young boy who just missed out on catching an Eevee?

"Don't worry, you'll catch it Eeveentually!"

How does Dracula eat his food?

In *bite* size pieces

Where does Dracula keep his tools?

The blood shed.

Dracula must have a hard life...

It sucks to live forever

You can explore drac tampon reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean drac slayer dad jokes. There are also drac puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Dracula & Frankenstein are in the heavyweight championship. Who wins?

Dracula. Frankenstein went down for the count.

Why did Dracula fail math?

He forgot how to Count.




Where did Dracula go on his Holiday?

The **Vampire** State Building!

Dracula walks into a pub...

When Dracula approaches the bar and orders a glass of hot water. Two men at the end notice him and ask each other what in the world he would want with a glass of hot water since all Dracula drinks is blood. So curious they decide to watch him. When the bartender returns and places the glass of hot water in front of him Dracula thanks him then reaches into his cape and takes out a used tampon that he begins to dunk in the hot water as he says "Tea Time!".

Drac joke, Dracula walks into a pub...

Dracula, you have something in your teeth

- Dracula darling, you have something stuck in your teeth.
- where, here?
- No...
- Here?
- No, just go look in-

What did Dracula name his new boat?

The Blood Vessel

Why did dracula order a steak ?

Because he wanted to die

Dracula says he doesn't want to become an investment banker..

He said he hates stakeholders.

Q: Where does Dracula get his writing utensils?

A: Pennsylvania


What did Dracula tell his son while teaching him survival skills

"You suck."

Dracula was giving his son the birds and the bees talk.

Dracula: so when two monsters love each other very much,

Son: I know, they mash.

Drac: Yes! They do the monster mash!

Why was Dracula grumpy?

Too much B negative.

Dracula was grumpy. Why?

All that B negative.

If Dracula were a furry, what would his name be?


What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Drac Frost

Dracula is vegan for 1 reason..

Stake kills him.

Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he's a real pain in the neck.

Dracula walks into a bar.

He orders a cup of boiling water. The barman pours a cup from the kettle and gives it Dracula; he says "No bloody Mary today?"

Dracula reaches into his pocket and pulls out a string. Then a used tampon pops out of Dracula's pocket and he lowers the tampon by the string into the cup of water. Then Dracula carefully lays the string over the side of the cup and says "No thanks. Today I'm just having tea."

They say dracula has turned over a new leaf

He's been re-vamped

Dracula was casually walking down the street for a late night stroll.

All of a sudden, a mozzarella stick flies through the air and hits him on the side of the head. He looks around slightly perplexed, but doesn't think too much of it.

A few meters further on and a chicken wing smacks him in the nuts. As he doubles over in pain, out of nowhere, he is drenched in hot nacho cheese.

He looks to the sky with a raised fist and shouts, "Curse you Buffet the Vampire Slayer!".

Why did dracula get tested for covid-19?

Because of his coffin


Dracula is walking down the street one fine evening when a speeding lorry carrying mini sausage rolls, sandwiches, a variety of salads, dressed salmon, quiches and cold meats loses control, overturns and spills all that food. All this wreckage hits Dracula and with his dying breath he curses buffet the vampire slayer

What did Dracula say to his victim?

I am vlad to have you.

Why did Draco Malfoy's funeral service take place outside?

Because he hated grief indoors.

Did you know Dracula had a brother who feasted on pancakes?

His name was Count Spatula

(Tried this out on my kids the other day. It went horrifically bad)

Why did Dracula go vegan?

He heard stake was bad for his heart.

Why did Dracula become a vegetarian?

Because his doctor said stakes were bad for his heart.

source: My 7 year-old.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the drac fang jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working drac halloween piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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