The Best 67 Downstairs Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Downstairs jokes. There are some downstairs lobby jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these downstairs floorboards puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Downstairs Jokes and Puns

The Heart Attack

THE HEART ATTACK

A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed,
sweating and panting.
'What's up?' she asks.

'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband..
The blonde rushes downstairs to use the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son says
"Mummy mummy, aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe & she has no clothes on"

The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom
right past her husband..rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is
her sister, totally naked and cowering on the floor.
'You rotten Bitch', she screams.
'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around
naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!'

Last night ...

I was woken out of a deep sleep by pounding on my front door and the neighbor's wife screaming "help!"

So I went downstairs, unlocked the front door, and let her out so she could go home!

The Birds and the Bees

A boy hears weird noises coming from his parent's bedroom at night. In the morning he asks them what the noise was about last night. His dad replies, "son, we were making cake". The next morning, the son comes downstairs and excitedly asks his parents if they were making cake last night. His dad replies "well yes, how did you know?". The kid replies, "well dad, I licked the frosting off the bed."

Downstairs joke, The Birds and the Bees

A little boy comes downstairs in the middle of the night and asks for a cup of water.

Dad: OK, but that's the 730th one you've had tonight...

Boy: I know, but my room's still on fire

A man is getting into the shower...

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.

After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"


There are three men in a brothel. One is going downstairs, one is going upstairs and another is in a room. What are their ethnicities?

The man going downstairs is Finnish, the man going upstairs is Russian, and the man in the room is Himalayan.

Late Night Phone Call To The Vet

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog
while the neighbors were on vacation.

She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds,
rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage,
as so frequently happens when dogs mate.

Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet,
who answered in a very grumpy voice.

Having explained the problem to him, the vet said,

"Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection
and he will be able to withdraw."

"Do you think that will work?" she asked.

"Just worked on me," he replied.

Downstairs joke, Late Night Phone Call To The Vet

Mother's Day

Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. As she lay there looking forward to breakfast in bed, the smell of bacon floated up from the kitchen.

But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. She found them both sitting at the table eating bacon and eggs.

"As a surprise for Mother's Day," one explained, "we decided to cook our own breakfast."

Recurring Visions

This is an old one.

A man goes to a psychologist and says "Doc, you have to help me. I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes my mother is right there giving me grief. When I open them, it's even worse, there she is again nagging and bullying me. Sometimes its so bad, at night time, all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast."

The doctor looks at him and replies "What? One piece of toast? For a big boy like you?"

The Blind Man

A girl was about to get into the shower, having stripped off her clothes, when she heard the doorbell ring. She yelled downstairs, "Who is it?". "It's the blind man!" came the reply. As she didn't feel like putting all her clothes back on, she went downstairs in the nude to see what he wanted. When she opened the door, the man gasped, "Where do you want the blinds?"

"What are those things on mommy's chest?"

A young boy once asked his father: "DAD, what are those things on mommy's chest?" The father replied: "Son, those are mommy's balloons you see, before she dies they get pumped up and she floats to heaven."

A couple days later, the father comes home early from work and sits on the couch. The young boy runs downstairs screaming: "DAD! DAD! MOM'S DYING!" The father get's up quickly and asks: "WHAT'S WRONG!!" The young boy replies: "UNCLE JAKE'S UPSTAIRS BLOWING UP MOMMY'S BALLOONS AND SHE'S YELLING OH GOD I'M COMING!"

You can explore downstairs robe reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean downstairs mother dad jokes. There are also downstairs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the best part about dating a black girl?

Not having to wait for her downstairs with her father.

Burglars are getting very clever these days..

Last night, my wife woke me up..

*Darling! Darling! There's a burglar downstairs!!*

So I go down, check every room and don't find anyone.

Then I realised I don't have a wife and when I went back upstairs my bed and tv were gone.

Why doesn't Dwayne Johnson's downstairs neighbor understand references to current events?

He's been living under The Rock.

My 18-month old son fell asleep on my lap today...

So I carried him upstairs, laid him down and went back downstairs to relax for another 20 minutes or so. Everyone on the bus must have thought I was an awful parent.

My downstairs neighbor was yelling and banging on the ceiling until 3 AM

Did that bother you?

Not much. I was up til about the same time practicing my trumpet.

Downstairs joke, My downstairs neighbor was yelling and banging on the ceiling until 3 AM

A man walks into his doctor's surgery and says "Doc, I'm experiencing some discomfort downstairs"

The Doctor takes a look and says "well I think I see the problem - you've got a steering wheel in your pants".

The man says "Thanks doc! It was driving me nuts!"

An elderly man was on his deathbed.

A man is on home hospice, terminally ill and barely clinging to life. Well one afternoon he smells his absolute favorite thing in the whole world, peanut butter cookies, baking downstairs. After hours of anticipation the cookies don't come upstairs for him.

So he, against all odds, unhooks his IV's, creaks to his feet, and hobbles slowly down stairs where he beholds a platter of the cookies on the counter. He feebly reaches out for one and his wife slaps his hand away angrily.

"No! Those are for the funeral!"

A wife comes downstairs before a dinner date with her husband

She asks, "Do I look fat in this dress?"

He replies, "Do I look dumb in this shirt?"


today my internet went out for About 3 minutes......

Met my family downstairs. They seem like nice people.

The other morning my Mom came downstairs wearing nothing but a very suggestive nightgown.

When I asked, she said it was a Freudian slip.

My parents asked me if I wanted to watch Dumb and Dumber with them tonight..

When I went downstairs the debate was on.

A guy walks into a whorehouse...

A guy walks into a whorehouse with $2 in his pocket. The man in charge says well for two dollars there's a dead hooker upstairs, you can have your way with her for ten minutes.

Ten minutes later, the patron comes back downstairs and the man in charge asks him how it was.

"It was okay, but the only thing is her nose kept running."

"Ahhh," said the man in charge, "she must be full."

You should always have a pet to make you feel safe...

Just the other night my wife woke me tell me heard glass breaking and footsteps downstairs.

She calmed down when I told it was probably just the fish.

How to get free internet @ home

I live in an apartment complex so I have neighbors left to right and below me. One day I asked my neighbor if he was interested in splitting the cost of my wifi 50/50 so he could also use it. He agreed. I went on to my other neighbor downstairs and asked him the same thing. Now both my neighbors are paying for my wifi.

Splitting Internet Charges

I asked my upstairs neighbor to split my internet charges with me, and we could share the bandwidth.

He accepted.

I asked my downstairs neighbor the same thing.

Now I have free Internet!

A quick guide on "How to fall downstairs"...

Step 1

Step 6

Step 8, 9, 10, 11...

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night

and said, " I think there's a burglar downstairs and he's eating the cake that my mother made for us. "

" Who do you want​ me to call? " said the husband

" The police or an ambulance? "

I went to a brothel and met a prostitute

I asked her what are the prices?
She said:

Β£20 for a hand job

Β£50 for a blow job

Β£80 for sex

And for Β£120, i'll do anything!

Anything hmmm....

She's now fitting my downstairs bathroom and repainting my living room.

You can ge some real bargains if you shop around!

Woman can't get mating dogs apart

A woman had two dogs that she hadn't had fixed, but always kept them from mating. One night she wakes up at 2 AM to this terrible howling.

She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and is unable to separate them.

She called her vet ,who answered in a very grumpy voice.

After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw.

Do you think that will work? she asked.

Just worked for me, he replied.

What do you call a rude convict going downstairs?

A condescending con descending.

Quaker home defense

one night john had come home for the day, exhausted from being plain and keeping thoughts to himself and went straight to bed. During the night someone broke in and this roused him from his sleep. leaping into action john grabbed his musket and charged downstairs. upon meeting the robber he leveled his musket and yelled

"friend I don't mean to alarm you but you're standing between me and where I want to shoot"

JCPenney just moved the women's Plus Size department downstairs. Is this yet another example of fat acceptance?

Or are they just tired of the escalator breaking?

My childhood memories of Christmas are dominated by the time I sneaked downstairs one Christmas Eve and heard my mother telling Father Christmas that he was a fat, lazy, good for nothing drunken slob...

I saw mommy dissing Santa Claus...

What's a snobby thief going downstairs?

A condescending con descending.

I snuck downstairs to make pancakes at midnight last night

It took a couple hours and I didn't want to wake anyone going back up.

I stuck some pancakes to my feet and crepèd back up the stairs.

A farmer has three daughters.

A boy knocks on the door and says "I'm Eddie and I'm here to take Betty for spaghetti."

The farmer calls Betty and she goes on her date with the young man.

Another boy knocks on the door and says to the farmer "I'm Joe and I'm here to take Flo to the show".

The farmer calls Flo downstairs and the two go to the show.

A third boy then knocks on the front door and says "I'm Chuck..." and the farmer shoots him.

Last night, my daughter shouted downstairs, "Dad! My tooth has just fallen out into my drink!" "That's great, darling!" I said. "Put it under your pillow and see what happens."

A few minutes later she shouted, "Nothing's happened dad and now my bed is completely soaked!"

Burglars are getting smarter and smarter ...

My wife woke me up the other day and said "darling, I think there's a burglar downstairs, can you go and check?" So I go downstairs and look in every room, and there was no burglar to be seen. Then I realised,..

I don't have a wife.

An engineer wakes up one morning and goes downstairs.

He sees a note an the fridge from his wife. It read This isn't working. I'm at my mother's. He opened the fridge and discovered it was working just fine.

My daughter came downstairs in a short skirt.

I said, "You aren't wearing that to school."

"Why not?" she asked moodily.

I said, "Because I want your mother to try it on later."

A boy walks in on his parents...

He sees his dad railing his mom from behind. His dad looks over at him and gives him a big thumbs up and continues on. After they finish, the mom says that he should check on the boy and see how he's doing. So the father goes downstairs and hears a weird noise coming from his room. He opens the door and sees his son ramming his grandma from behind, the boy looks over and says How do you like it when someone is doing this to your mom.

A homeless vagabond approaches a woman, who is about to commit suicide from by throwing her self from the rooftop.

Vagabond says
- excuse me, lady. I know you are very depressed. But you know... eh... I've never been with a woman, can you sleep with me, your going to kill your self anyway...
Woman replies
-what, are you crazy!
To what he answers
-fine, I'll wait downstairs!

What does an elderly woman's downstairs taste like?

Depends.

A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs.

It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs.

He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:

No, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!

Old couple

Old couple have been married for over 50 years. The wife dies in her sleep, they come to take away the body. As they are carrying her downstairs, her head hits the wall and she suddenly comes back to life. About a year later, she dies in her sleep. As they are carrying her downstairs, the old man says 'Mind the head, please'.

...Blonde dog!

...Blonde lying in bed with her husband listening to next door neighbours' dog barking for hours and hours every night!
* **blonde:** "I've had enough of this," ....the blonde runs downstairs, finally returns back to bed.

* **husband:** "The dog is still barking. What have you done?"

* **blonde:** "I've put their dog in our yard, now we'll see how they like it!"

After having loud sex with my girlfriend, my father called me downstairs.

Thankfully by that time they were both dressed.

A priest dies and goes to the gates of Heaven

The priest approaches the bouncer aka St. Peter.

After perusing the list, Peter can't find the priest's name, and tells him to go downstairs to the waiting room until further notice.

Meanwhile, a taxi driver who died at the same time approached the gates.

St. Peter welcomes him with open arms and lets him straight into Heaven.

The priest is dumbfounded. I've preached to thousands of people throughout my life! I've baptized children and converted many to the church! I've lived a holy life!

St. Peter shakes his head and responds:
When you preached, people slept...

When he drove, people prayed.

What do you call a snobby criminal walking downstairs?

a condescending con descending

Bigger in Texas

A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. Wow, this bed is big!

Everything is big in Texas, says the bellhop.

The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. Wow these drinks are big!

The bartender replies, Everything is big in Texas.

After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. Second door to the right, says the bartender.

The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, Don't flush, don't flush!

Little Tim was waiting for his dad to come back from the basement

Dad and Tim had agreed to eat lunch together. However, Dad told Tim that he had to fix something in the basement first, and he went downstairs with a rope. As time went by, Tim became more and more impatient and decided that dad should know.

"Dad!" Tim shouted. "I'm hungry!"

Suddenly, a voice that seemingly came from nowhere filled the living room.

"Hi hungry, I'm dead"

A Jewish man on his deathbed is talking to his daughter.

The man smells noodle kugel (a traditional Jewish food) coming from the kitchen downstairs and reminds his daughter that it's his favorite food. He asks her to go get him some for his last meal- he knows he will die very soon. The man's daughter goes downstairs, and comes back with no kugel. The man asks why she didn't bring any. The daughter says:

Mom said it's for after.

The gynecologist down the street is selling the upper floors of his practice...

...He only works in the downstairs area anyway...

My wife and I have recently moved into my Mother-In-Laws while our house is being renovated...

Being intimate is pretty tricky!

I constantly have to remind her that my Wife is sitting downstairs...

My phone was not working in the hotel room

I had to go downstairs . They had reception there

I know my wife loves me and all, but I don't think she needs to tell everybody.

Just yesterday, when the mailman arrived at our house, she rushed downstairs yelling, "My husband is home! My husband is home!"

I was on the phone to a woman from the babestation channel. I said "Can you hide behind the couch?" Confused, she asked "Why?"

I said "Because my wife is coming downstairs and I can't find the remote."

A woman woke up in the middle of the night and found that her husband wasn't there beside her.

She went downstairs and found him sitting in the kitchen, drinking coffee and looking thoughtful.

"Honey, what's wrong?, she asked.

He replied, "Well do you remember when we were dating?"

"Yes"

"And do you remember the first time we had sex?"

She smiled and answered, "Of course."

"And you remember how your Dad caught us."

She laughed and replied, "Oh god, yeah!"

"And since I was 18 and you were 17 how he threatened to send me to jail for twenty years if I didn't marry you?"

"Uh huh. What of it?", she asked.

He let out a sad sigh, "I would have gotten out today..."

As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like...

As a Canadian, the Presidential Debate feels like overhearing your downstairs neighbours debating about whether or not to set the building on fire.

A pregant woman goes into a doctors office to have an ultrasound.

The doctor tells us that she is going to have a girl. The doctor then asks what she will name the baby. "Hannah," she says. "I have six other daughters, and I've named them all Hannah."
"Surely that's a bit confusing?" The doctor inquires. "What if you want to call one of them downstairs?"
"That's easy," replied the woman. "I just call them by their last name."

A blonde gets a Fitbit for Christmas

Her friend tells her to always try to get to 10,000 steps a day to lose weight.

One night it's 11.30pm and her boyfriend hears footsteps downstairs. He goes down to find her walking around the living room backwards.

"What ARE you doing?" he asks.

"Melanie told me to do 10,000 steps a day - I was on 10,020!"

I finally realized why many apartments have weird popcorn ceiling

I couldn't understand why every apartment I've lived in had those ugly pebbly popcorn ceilings. It was baffling.

But then later I learned it was a way to muffle sounds coming from your upstairs and downstairs neighbors. It was baffling!

A Blonde and her girlfriend are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours. The Blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this." She goes downstairs then comes back up to bed and her girlfriend says.

"The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"The Blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard. Let's see how the neighbors like all the barking!"

Mother in law and stairs

Two old friends meet each other after a long time:

A: Oh hey, what's new?

B: Nothing much, my mother in law died.

A: Oh really, damn, how?

B: She went downstairs to the basement to get some potatoes for lunch, fell and broke her neck.

A: That's tragic, what did you do then?

B: We ordered pizza.

I woke up last night from a noise somewhere in the house.

My wife turned to me and whispered "It must be a thief. Go downstairs and check."

Reluctantly, i went downstairs. I checked every room but couldn't find the thief.

I knew this sneaky guy was hiding somewhere but where?

Then i remembered- i don't have a wife.

Someone rings at the bell in the middle of the night

He goes downstairs, opens the door and finds a man with a menacing look who says:
- I traveled all the way from Tunisia and I'm here to kill you!
- TO WHAT?!
- Tunisia


(I believe the original is in Portuguese or Spanish and the man comes from Paraguai but I think you all deserve to hear this good joke)

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the downstairs down jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working downstairs underneath piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes