Downs Jokes
107 downs jokes and hilarious downs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about downs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Downs Short Jokes
Short downs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The downs humour may include short 10 downing jokes also.
- My wife stormed into the pub last night as me and the boys were downing shots of Tequila. You're coming home now! she screamed.
No, I'm not, I laughed.
She said, I'm talking to the kids. - My brother just broke the record by downing 22 Russian jets in Ukraine He'll forever be remembered as the worst mechanic in the Russian Air Force
- "Hand me downs" Apparently not the right way to ask the wife to hand me our disabled baby.
- My first dad joke as a new father Fiance: "What's the difference between a carousel and a merry go round?"
Me: "I don't know but they have their ups and downs"
...it begins - Life is like a basketball... It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you.
- I'm starting to suspect I was cloned from my older brother All my genes are hand-me-downs
*Adapted from a song by His Royal Weirdness - A football team should setup a charity that gives presents to children with Down Syndrome ...and call it Touch Downs.
- My wife asked me if I like sunrises or sunsets better. I said, They both have their ups and downs
- Why do all the doors in 10 Downing Street have handles? That place already has enough knobs.
- Tomorrow is downs syndrome Awareness Day You're supposed to wear crazy socks.
I'm just going to wear extra jeans.
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Downs One Liners
Which downs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with downs? I can suggest the ones about network down and upside.
- Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck? The DOWNS truck is a little slow.
- I just got a new job as an elevator engineer It has its ups and downs
- What do you call a heritable mental disability? Hand-me-downs
- I was going to buy a drawbridge But apparently they're let downs.
- I bought a new ladder this week... ...it has its ups and downs.
- Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups ... He does Earth downs.
- I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once. It had its ups and downs.
- The Russians official stance on the downed MH17 flight: Donetsk, don't tell.
- I tried bungee jumping the other day. It had its ups and downs.
- What did amy winehouse have in common with the Ghostbusters? They both downed spirits.
- I had to clean the elevators at work today The place has its ups and downs
- Nodding It has its ups and downs.
- My day consisted of ups and downs. So I got off the elevator.
- Quantum physics has its ups and downs But it all quarks out in the end
- I don't know what to think of mountain-climbing. It has it's ups and downs.
Downs Syndrome Jokes
Here is a list of funny downs syndrome jokes and even better downs syndrome puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I went to a restaurant and asked the waiter if they had any specials on tonight. He said we've got a downs syndrome kid washing the dishes.
- What does a group of Downs syndrome patients call their rock band? Syndrome of a Down
- Why did the boy with downs syndrome get detention? He was a little tardy.
- What has 4 legs, a shell, and downs syndrome? A Retortoise
- What do you call the child of two parents with downs syndrome? A hand-me-down.
Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Downs Jokes
What funny jokes about downs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean upside down jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make downs pranks.
The man says to the bartender...
"Gimme twelve shots of your finest whiskey, and fast!"
The bartender lines up a dozen shot glasses and as he fills them, the man starts to down them one after the other.
Shocked, the bartender asks, "What's the hurry, buddy?"
Between shots, the man replies, "You'd drink fast too, if you had what I've got."
Concerned, the bartender asks kindly, "What have you got, brother?"
The man downs the last shot and puts all his money on the table. "Fifty cents!"
A Man Walks Into A Bar.....
He says to the bartender gimme a shot of whiskey. He get's it and downs it. He then says get me a glass of whiskey, he get's that and downs it. Then he asks for a pint of whiskey, the bartender says "Well he won't down this one" the guy downs it. by now he's swaying and staggering, he then asks for two pints of whiskey. The bartender says "Why are you downing all these whiskeys so fast?" the guy replies "Because I've only got 50 pence"
Does a basketball player with an extra chromosome...
have both ups and downs?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gimme a triple shot of Jack
A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another". The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".
As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"
The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having s**... with her."
The bartender says "Geez, what did you say?"
The man says, "I told him, BAD DOG!! BAD DOG!!"
Lemonade
A man stumbles upon a little girl's lemonade stand and asks, "How much for a glass?" "First one's twenty-five cents," she responds. He hands her the money, downs the lemonade, and asks for another. "The second cup is twenty-five dollars", she states. Confused, the man asks, "Why?"
"This one has the antidote."
Ups and Downs of Investing
I was browsing the stock market earlier, turns out most of the airlines are crashing.
Our relationship is like an extra chromosome
It's all downs from here
How is the elevator business?
Oh, it has its up and downs...
She asked if I liked my job after I told her I'm a roller coaster mechanic...
"It has its ups and downs," I said.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a r**... pig wearing his brother's old sweater?
Hammy Downs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Downside to a t**...?
You'll disappoint 2 women instead of 1
A man walks into bar...
He runs to the bartender and says "Quick! Get me a double brandy before the trouble starts!"
The bartender pours him his drink and the man downs it and says "Quick! Double brandy, before the trouble starts!"
The bartender is confused, but pours him another drink.
The man downs it and says again "Quick! Double brandy, before the trouble starts!"
The bartender asks "Hang on a minute, what's this trouble?"
The man replies "I don't have any money."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the downside of being a r**... kid at Christmas?
You only get presents from one set of grandparents.
Some days, I love being an elevator repair man...
but I hate the days when people ask me if it has "it's ups and downs."
Why did Steve hate being the youngest clone?
Because all his genes were hand me downs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My downstairs neighbor was yelling and b**... on the ceiling until 3 AM
Did that bother you?
Not much. I was up til about the same time practicing my trumpet.
What do you call a mentally challenged feather pillow?
A downs pillow.
What bands did they hire to play at the Developmental Disability Conference?
System of a Downs
My Chemical Imbalance.
Youth In Asia
I used to work at a trampoline factory
It had its ups and downs
Why did the football team take the short bus to the game?
They needed more downs.
There's only one downside of putting a woman on the $20 bill.
That downside is that the $20 bill is now only worth $15.66
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a high person with Downs Syndrome?
A baked potato.
I worked as a zip line tour guide.
It had its ups and downs, but it was a great way to get my career off the ground.
Whats the most popular event at the Special Olympics
Downs Hill Skiing.
what do you call a band made of special needs kid
System of the downs
An alcoholic is sitting at a bar
He orders two shots. He proceeds to pour out the first one all over the bar, downs the second one and then orders two more. He pours out the first one on the bar, downs the second one and orders two more.
The bartender asks him why he keeps pouring out the first shot all over the bar.
The alcoholic replies with "My AA group said all I need to do is avoid that first drink."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a down-side of being a p**...?
You have to go to bed early.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cheating wife
A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp.
"Wow", says the bartender, "Something bad must have happened". Yeah it did, he said.
"I came home early today, went up to the bedroom, and found my wife having s**... with my best friend." The bartender pours the guy another triple shot. "This one's on the house".
The dude gulps it down once again. The bartender asks "Did you say anything to your wife ? "
The guy answers "Yea, I walked up to her, told her to pack her bag's and get out !"
"What about your friend ?" asks the bartender. "I looked him straight in the eye and said bad dog.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do mentally r**... parents give their kids?
Hand me Downs.
Love is like a roller-coaster
It'll seem scary at first, it's happens fast, it has its ups, it has its downs, but what's most important is that you meet it's size restrictions.
A man walks into a bar
A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender pours them and the man immediately downs them one after another. The bartender says " are you ok, I've never seen anyone drink like that." The man replied "if you had what I have you would drink like that too." The bartender asks "that's rough, what do you have?"
The man replies "about $.50".
I built a rollercoaster park but it's not as good as a lot of others
It definitely has its ups and downs thiugh
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Elevator s**...
It has it's ups and downs, but it's great on so many levels!
Stairways
They have their ups and downs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the Elevator of life its not the ups and downs that get you
Its the ***jerks*** along the way.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy came back from having his photos done....
He was carrying the photos in his hand and was standing in the bus.
The bus stopped and he j**... forward, the photos fell out of his hand and went down under a woman's dress.
He bends downs and asks "Could you lift up your dress I gotta take those photos"
Did you hear there's a pilot who only gives plane rides to mentally challenged kids??
What goes up must have downs
Last night at the pub I was talking to a drawbridge operator about his job.
I asked him if he liked it.
.
.
.
.
.
.
He said it has its ups and downs.
My girlfriend broke up with me at the fairground...
We'd been on the see saws and, you know, we'd really had our ups and downs.
Then we went on the biggest ride at the fair. That was a rollercoaster.
Then we got to the carousel.
"I don't think this is working" she said
And she was right. It didn't feel like we were going anywhere.
Then she said... I don't remember what she said, she was just going around and around in circles.
Q. What's the downside to having 1000 grams?
A. The pinches on the cheeks get old real fast.
Sigmund Freud walks into a bar
Sits down and orders a banana daiquiri and a hotdog. He looks over to the stage and Mozart comes out and starts going crazy on a keyboard. Freud downs his drink, flips a few tables and runs out angrily. Mozart looks at the barman and asks, "What was that about?" The barman replies. "Pianist envy."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I thought about quitting m**... for good.
But, ultimately, I decided to just get a grip. Despite all the ups and downs, I'm just not prepared for anything to get out of hand.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is s**... like?
s**... is like a rollercoaster. There are ups and downs, twists and turns... and someone's t**... is always sore afterwards
I'm a vet during the day and a comedian at night
I'm well known for my put downs.
Elevator
Working with elevators has its ups and downs
A lawyer, garbage collector, and hair stylist sit down at a bar
The lawyer orders a shot of whiskey and drinks it right away. The garbage collector orders some tequila and downs it immidiatly. The hair stylist says "I don't do shots" and then quickly dies of polio.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Betsy Devos wants to defund the Special Olympics
Talk about k**... someone when they're Downs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The other day someone asked me how it feels to be so r**......
I told them it has its ups and downs, mainly downs.
I went hiking yesterday. It was ok.
It had its ups and downs.
What's The Downside To Eating A Clock?
It's time consuming.
I'm excited for Minecraft's caves&cliffs update
But it will probably have its ups and downs.
a woman walks into a bar and takes a seat across from the female bartender
"I'll take a shot of anything, I'm celebrating taking the Bechdel test."
The bartender pours her a whiskey and says, "think you'll pass?"
"I just did!" she says as she downs the shot.
Well, life sure has its ups and downs...
...and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs.
My brother works in the garage door business
I asked him how it is. He said it has its ups and downs.
He's really happy for the job, though. The opportunity was really an open door for him.
Apparently they've made him into their main salesperson, since he really knows how to close the deal.
I hope you found these puns to be....uplifting.
Buying a hoarder a birthday gift has its ups and downs...
On one hand, they already have everything. On the other, they'll always cherish your present.
I had a friend who worked as a trampoline salesman for several years. I once asked him how that line of work was…
To which he replied It has its ups and downs .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Recruit at the KGB
The KGB had found their newest recruit, but before he could join, he had to go through three tests. First, he had to down an entire bottle of v**... in one sitting, then shake hands with a bear, then s**... and sleep with a lady. The recruit easily downs the v**... in a matter of seconds, then is put in a cage with a bear. Intense screaming, bear growling, and shouting can be heard for the duration of 20 minutes, but the cage goes quiet and recruit finally emerges from the cage, bruised up and covered in claw marks. He then asks, "so where's this lady I'm supposed to shake hands with?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Before the b**... starts
A man comes into a bar and says: "quickly! two beer and two v**... before the b**... starts!" The barman pours the drinks and the man downs them quickly one after the other.
"Quickly! two more beer and v**... before the b**... starts!" the barman pours the drinks and the man thows them back like there is no tomorrow
"Quick! Two **more** beer and two v**... before the b**... starts!"
"Do you have the money to pay for this?"
"Look the b**... starts already!"
My bro asked what's it like being diabetic?
I said it has its highs and lows I asked him what it was like to have Bipolar disorder, he said it has its ups and downs
Wine
A gal walks into a bar and orders a bottle of wine. After she downs most of the bottle she tries to get the bartender's attention. "I used to be grapes!" she announces loudly. "What?" the confused bartender asks. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "That must have been the wine talking."
A grandmother was surprised when she wakes up to a cup of coffee from her 8 year old grandson
A grandmother was surprised when she wakes up to a cup of coffee from her 8 year old grandson. She gulped down the most bitter coffee she has ever tasted but she downs it all because she wants her grandson to feel like he made something his grandma loved. At the bottom of the cup, she found three little green army men.
Puzzled, she asked, Honey, what are these toys doing in my coffee?
The boy replied I'm just doing what it says on the TV, grandma
The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.
After months of experimenting with sitting vs standing desks I've concluded that ...
...they both have their ups and downs.
I'll see myself out.
Quick, give me a whisky before it gets started!
A man walks into a pub and says to the barman: "Quick, give me a whisky before it gets started!"
"Before what gets started?"
"Never mind, just give me a whisky, quick!"
It sounds urgent, so the barman gives him a drink.
The customer downs it in one gulp and says, "Another, quick, before it gets started!"
The barman gives him another whisky.
But when the man asks for a third one he says, "Hang on, when are you going to pay for these?"
"Oh here we go," says the man, "It's started."
