The Best 77 Downs Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Downs jokes. There are some downs bartender jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these downs downs syndrome puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Downs Jokes and Puns

The man says to the bartender...

"Gimme twelve shots of your finest whiskey, and fast!"
The bartender lines up a dozen shot glasses and as he fills them, the man starts to down them one after the other.
Shocked, the bartender asks, "What's the hurry, buddy?"
Between shots, the man replies, "You'd drink fast too, if you had what I've got."
Concerned, the bartender asks kindly, "What have you got, brother?"
The man downs the last shot and puts all his money on the table. "Fifty cents!"

A Man Walks Into A Bar.....

He says to the bartender gimme a shot of whiskey. He get's it and downs it. He then says get me a glass of whiskey, he get's that and downs it. Then he asks for a pint of whiskey, the bartender says "Well he won't down this one" the guy downs it. by now he's swaying and staggering, he then asks for two pints of whiskey. The bartender says "Why are you downing all these whiskeys so fast?" the guy replies "Because I've only got 50 pence"

Gimme a triple shot of Jack

A man walks into a bar and says "Bartender gimme a triple shot of Jack". The bartender pours, and the man downs it, slams the glass on the bar and says "Another". The bartender pours another. The man downs it and says "Another".
As the bartender pours the third glass he says, "Mister you drink like you have a problem. Want to talk about it?"
The man says, "Ten years, ten years I've been married to my wife, and today I go home a little early to surprise her, and I find my best friend, MY BEST FRIEND, in bed having sex with her."
The bartender says "Geez, what did you say?"
The man says, "I told him, BAD DOG!! BAD DOG!!"

Lemonade

A man stumbles upon a little girl's lemonade stand and asks, "How much for a glass?" "First one's twenty-five cents," she responds. He hands her the money, downs the lemonade, and asks for another. "The second cup is twenty-five dollars", she states. Confused, the man asks, "Why?"

"This one has the antidote."

jokes about downs

A man orders a shot of ever spirit in the bar, downs them all and says to the barman "I probably shouldn't have had all of those with what I've got". "Why?", asks the concerned barman, "what have you got?"

"About two dollars and some loose change." Replies the man.


Ups and Downs of Investing

I was browsing the stock market earlier, turns out most of the airlines are crashing.

A football team should setup a charity that gives presents to children with Down Syndrome

...and call it Touch Downs.

Downs joke, A football team should setup a charity that gives presents to children with Down Syndrome

Our relationship is like an extra chromosome

It's all downs from here

What do you call a retarded pig wearing his brother's old sweater?

Hammy Downs

Downside to a threesome?

You'll disappoint 2 women instead of 1

A man walks into bar...

He runs to the bartender and says "Quick! Get me a double brandy before the trouble starts!"
The bartender pours him his drink and the man downs it and says "Quick! Double brandy, before the trouble starts!"
The bartender is confused, but pours him another drink.
The man downs it and says again "Quick! Double brandy, before the trouble starts!"
The bartender asks "Hang on a minute, what's this trouble?"
The man replies "I don't have any money."

You can explore downs sambuca reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean downs sussex dad jokes. There are also downs puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A pony walks into a bar...

A pony walks into a bar, and is stared at by the bartender and patrons. He makes his way up to the bar, and in a raspy voice asks the bartender for a glass of water. He quickly downs the glass, clears his throat, and says, "you'll have to excuse me, I'm a little hoarse"

What's the downside of being a redneck kid at Christmas?

You only get presents from one set of grandparents.

A man goes into a bar

He says "give me a drink before the trouble starts"

Bartender gives him a drink, he drinks it and says "give me another drink before the trouble starts"

He downs that one and says "give me another drink before the trouble starts"

Another one down and again "give me another drink before the trouble starts"

Bartender asks "when's this trouble going to start?"

The man says "as soon as you realize I don't have any money"

My first dad joke as a new father

Fiance: "What's the difference between a carousel and a merry go round?"

Me: "I don't know but they have their ups and downs"

...it begins

Why did Steve hate being the youngest clone?

Because all his genes were hand me downs.

Downs joke, Why did Steve hate being the youngest clone?

I was going to buy a drawbridge

But apparently they're let downs.

My downstairs neighbor was yelling and banging on the ceiling until 3 AM

Did that bother you?

Not much. I was up til about the same time practicing my trumpet.

Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck?

The DOWNS truck is a little slow.


Life is like a basketball...

It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you.

I used to work at a trampoline factory

It had its ups and downs

What do you call a high person with Downs Syndrome?

A baked potato.

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 pints of lager followed by 12 shots of vodka

The barman then watches, amazed, as the bloke downs them one after the other. Recovering, the customer says:

'I shouldn't have done that with what I've got.'

'What have you got?' Asked the barman.

The customer looked at him guiltily. 'Oh, about two dollars.'

An alcoholic is sitting at a bar

He orders two shots. He proceeds to pour out the first one all over the bar, downs the second one and then orders two more. He pours out the first one on the bar, downs the second one and orders two more.

The bartender asks him why he keeps pouring out the first shot all over the bar.

The alcoholic replies with "My AA group said all I need to do is avoid that first drink."

I use to have a job working in an elevator...

it had its ups and downs

I don't know what to think of mountain-climbing.

It has it's ups and downs.

Downs joke, I don't know what to think of mountain-climbing.

Cheating wife

A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy downs it in one gulp.
"Wow", says the bartender, "Something bad must have happened". Yeah it did, he said.
"I came home early today, went up to the bedroom, and found my wife having sex with my best friend." The bartender pours the guy another triple shot. "This one's on the house".
The dude gulps it down once again. The bartender asks "Did you say anything to your wife ? "
The guy answers "Yea, I walked up to her, told her to pack her bag's and get out !"
"What about your friend ?" asks the bartender. "I looked him straight in the eye and said bad dog.

What do mentally retarded parents give their kids?

Hand me Downs.

Love is like a roller-coaster

It'll seem scary at first, it's happens fast, it has its ups, it has its downs, but what's most important is that you meet it's size restrictions.


Back in the day, I used to be a trampoline tester...

It had its ups and downs.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey. The bartender pours them and the man immediately downs them one after another. The bartender says " are you ok, I've never seen anyone drink like that." The man replied "if you had what I have you would drink like that too." The bartender asks "that's rough, what do you have?"

The man replies "about $.50".

"Hand me downs"

Apparently not the right way to ask the wife to hand me our disabled baby.

I built a Rollercoaster park but it's not as good as a lot of others

It definitely has its ups and downs thiugh

Elevator sex

It has it's ups and downs, but it's great on so many levels!


I bought a new ladder this week...

...it has its ups and downs.

Stairways

They have their ups and downs.

A guy came back from having his photos done....

He was carrying the photos in his hand and was standing in the bus.
The bus stopped and he jerked forward, the photos fell out of his hand and went down under a woman's dress.

He bends downs and asks "Could you lift up your dress I gotta take those photos"

I went to a restaurant and asked the waiter if they had any specials on tonight.

He said we've got a downs syndrome kid washing the dishes.

I just got a new job as an elevator engineer

It has its ups and downs

A guy takes a shot at a bar and looks in his shirt pocket

A guy takes a shot at a bar and looks in his shirt pocket. He calls the bartender over and asks for another shot. Again, he downs the shot and looks back in his pocket.

He continues to do this and the bartender finally says, Every time I️ pour you a shot, you down it, look in your pocket and order another. What's in your pocket?

The guy responds, A picture of my wife. When she starts to look good I'll head home.

Quantum physics has its ups and downs

But it all quarks out in the end

My girlfriend broke up with me at the fairground...

We'd been on the see saws and, you know, we'd really had our ups and downs.

Then we went on the biggest ride at the fair. That was a rollercoaster.

Then we got to the carousel.

"I don't think this is working" she said

And she was right. It didn't feel like we were going anywhere.

Then she said... I don't remember what she said, she was just going around and around in circles.

A man goes to the doctor to have a series of test run. He comes back in a week to get the results. The doctor says I have bad news, you have cancer. The man downs his head as the doctor says unfortunately I have more bad news.

You also have Alzheimer's Disease. The man looks up and says to the doctor, Well, at least it's not Cancer.....

My wife asked me if I like sunrises or sunsets better. I said,

They both have their ups and downs

Q. What's the downside to having 1000 grams?

A. The pinches on the cheeks get old real fast.

I thought about quitting masturbating for good.

But, ultimately, I decided to just get a grip. Despite all the ups and downs, I'm just not prepared for anything to get out of hand.

Elevator

Working with elevators has its ups and downs

A lawyer, garbage collector, and hair stylist sit down at a bar

The lawyer orders a shot of whiskey and drinks it right away. The garbage collector orders some tequila and downs it immidiatly. The hair stylist says "I don't do shots" and then quickly dies of polio.

Tomorrow is Downs Syndrome Awareness Day

You're supposed to wear crazy socks.

I'm just going to wear extra jeans.

Betsy Devos wants to defund the Special Olympics

Talk about kicking someone when they're Downs

I tried bungee jumping the other day.

It had its ups and downs.

I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.

It had its ups and downs.

What's The Downside To Eating A Clock?

It's time consuming.

A panda walks into a bar, orders a burger, downs it in a few bites, pulls out a gun and shoots two bullets into the roof.

On his way to the door the waiter exclaims why the f*ck did you do that?!

To which the tired looking panda rolls his eyes and tosses a torn up wildlife manual across the counter, i'm a panda, look it up... before casually walking out the exit

After finding the relevant chapter the waiter reads:
Panda: Large black and white bear-like mammal; eats, shoots and leaves.

A man walks into a bar and orders 7 shots at once

The bartender brings out the shots and the man downs each one quickly.

The bartender is a little concerned by this and decides to say something

Bartender: "Hey Buddy, why don't you pace yourself a little? That can't be healthy."

Man: "You would be drinking like this to if you had what I have."

Bartender: " Oh I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried. Although if you don't mind me asking, what do you have?"

Man: "75 cents."
.

I'm excited for Minecraft's caves&cliffs update

But it will probably have its ups and downs.

a woman walks into a bar and takes a seat across from the female bartender

"I'll take a shot of anything, I'm celebrating taking the Bechdel test."

The bartender pours her a whiskey and says, "think you'll pass?"

"I just did!" she says as she downs the shot.

Well, life sure has its ups and downs...

...and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs and downs.

My brother works in the garage door business

I asked him how it is. He said it has its ups and downs.

He's really happy for the job, though. The opportunity was really an open door for him.

Apparently they've made him into their main salesperson, since he really knows how to close the deal.

I hope you found these puns to be....uplifting.

Buying a hoarder a birthday gift has its ups and downs...

On one hand, they already have everything. On the other, they'll always cherish your present.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups ...

He does Earth downs.

A man walks into a bar and orders 5 Whiskeys and downs them incredibly quickly.

The barman says "That was quick!"


"You'd drink them quickly if you had what I had..." replies the man.

"Ohh, what's that?" said the barman sympathetically.

The man answers "no money."

I had a friend who worked as a trampoline salesman for several years. I once asked him how that line of work was…

To which he replied It has its ups and downs .

Nodding

It has its ups and downs.

Recruit at the KGB

The KGB had found their newest recruit, but before he could join, he had to go through three tests. First, he had to down an entire bottle of vodka in one sitting, then shake hands with a bear, then seduce and sleep with a lady. The recruit easily downs the vodka in a matter of seconds, then is put in a cage with a bear. Intense screaming, bear growling, and shouting can be heard for the duration of 20 minutes, but the cage goes quiet and recruit finally emerges from the cage, bruised up and covered in claw marks. He then asks, "so where's this lady I'm supposed to shake hands with?"

Before the bullshit starts

A man comes into a bar and says: "quickly! two beer and two vodka before the bullshit starts!" The barman pours the drinks and the man downs them quickly one after the other.

"Quickly! two more beer and vodka before the bullshit starts!" the barman pours the drinks and the man thows them back like there is no tomorrow

"Quick! Two **more** beer and two vodka before the bullshit starts!"
"Do you have the money to pay for this?"
"Look the bullshit starts already!"

My bro asked what's it like being diabetic?

I said it has its highs and lows I asked him what it was like to have Bipolar disorder, he said it has its ups and downs

Wine

A gal walks into a bar and orders a bottle of wine. After she downs most of the bottle she tries to get the bartender's attention. "I used to be grapes!" she announces loudly. "What?" the confused bartender asks. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "That must have been the wine talking."

A grandmother was surprised when she wakes up to a cup of coffee from her 8 year old grandson

A grandmother was surprised when she wakes up to a cup of coffee from her 8 year old grandson. She gulped down the most bitter coffee she has ever tasted but she downs it all because she wants her grandson to feel like he made something his grandma loved. At the bottom of the cup, she found three little green army men.

Puzzled, she asked, Honey, what are these toys doing in my coffee?
The boy replied I'm just doing what it says on the TV, grandma
The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.

I had to clean the elevators at work today

The place has its ups and downs

After months of experimenting with sitting vs standing desks I've concluded that ...

...they both have their ups and downs.

I'll see myself out.

My day consisted of ups and downs.

So I got off the elevator.

Quick, give me a whisky before it gets started!

A man walks into a pub and says to the barman: "Quick, give me a whisky before it gets started!"

"Before what gets started?"

"Never mind, just give me a whisky, quick!"

It sounds urgent, so the barman gives him a drink.

The customer downs it in one gulp and says, "Another, quick, before it gets started!"

The barman gives him another whisky.

But when the man asks for a third one he says, "Hang on, when are you going to pay for these?"

"Oh here we go," says the man, "It's started."

Three men and the Fly that fell in the Scotch they were drinking

A Frenchman, a German and an Irishman were drinking Scotch. Suddenly a fly fell into each man's drink. The Frenchman says, I cannot drink this! The German flicks the fly out and downs his drink. The Irishman reaches into the glass, grabs the fly, turns it upside down over his drink and yells at the fly: Spit it out, spit it out!

My wife was depressed so I bought her a trampoline to cheer her up

She's doing much better now but she still has her ups and downs.

Guy races into a bar looking very flustered and says to the bartender "Quick, give me a shot of your finest Scotch before the trouble starts"

The guy downs the scotch in a single gulp and glancing nervously towards the doors says **"Quick, give me another shot of you finest Scotch before the trouble starts"**

The guy downs that Scotch too and says, ***"Quick, another shot before the trouble starts".*** The barman pauses and says ***"Ok but I need you to pay for the other shots first"***

The guy looks the barman in the eye and says ***"It looks like the trouble has started"******.***

A man walks into a bar and downs three shots of whiskey.

The man loudly proclaims, "All lawyers are assholes!"

A big, burly man next to him at the bar turns around and says, "Take that back."

"Why? Are you a lawyer?"

"No, I'm an asshole."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the downs chugs puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working downs barkeep piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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