Downcast Jokes
5 downcast jokes and hilarious downcast puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about downcast that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Delightful Fun Downcast Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What is a good downcast joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
George Burns
In his later years, the comedian George Burns was being interviewed by a shapely female journalist.
FJ: Mr. Burns, is it true that at your age, you still smoke six cigars every day?
GB: (eyes downcast) Yes, it's true.
FJ: And is it true you drink 3 or 4 martinis every day?
GB: Yes, that's true.
FJ: And is it true that you still chase after women half your age?
GB: Yes, I do.
FJ: What does your doctor have to say about all this?
GB: He's dead.
Trump and Putin...
...get cryogenically frozen after their respective deaths, and are re-woken 200 years later.
They decide to take a walk through the city together. Suddenly, Putin stops and bursts out laughing, pointing at the headline at a newsstand: "USA in worst financial crisis in history"
They walk on through the futuristic city, when Putin once again bursts out into laughter pointing at the headline of another newsstand: "EU votes against fourth humanisitic intervention in US-Crisis"
Trump is pretty downcast. They decide to finish their walk, when suddenly it is Trump who is crying from laughter pointing at yet another newsstand: "Skirmishes at German-Chinese border continue"
After the flood, Noah tells the animals from the Arc to "go forth and multiply."
After a few months, Noah figures he better wander around and see how the animals are doing. Everybody is happy until he comes across a couple of snakes - they are quite downcast and not very happy. Noah asks what wrong, and they say "We are Adders, so we can't multiply!"
Noah rubs his chin for a few moments, and then goes into the forest, cuts down a couple of trees, and makes a table out of them.
Then he puts the snakes up on the platform he has made, and says "Now you should be happy. Everybody knows that adders can multiply with log tables!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The UFO landed in the trailer park...
...in front of Mr. and Mrs. Willfart, relaxing in their lawn chairs. They all started talking about their cultural differences etc. until they came to s**.... Offering to swap "wives", the woman was lead off by the male alien. After starting, the alien asked "Is it good?". Mrs. Willfart replies "I wish it was just a bit longer". The alien says "Just tug on my right ear until it's as long as you like". She does so, and miraculously, his shlong grows to 8 inches. He then asks if it's satisfactory. "Can you make it thicker?" she asks timidly. The alien says "Just tug on my left ear, it'll get as thick as you like". She does so, and she's in heaven. After the aliens leave, Mr. Willfart asks his wife "How did you like the alien s**...?". "It was fantastic!", she replied. "How did you like the s**... with the alien woman?". He looked downcast, and said "It was OK, I guess, but she kept trying to rip my ears off!".
Giving up golf
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf everyday since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife, "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball I couldn't see where it went." His wife sympathises with him and makes a cup of tea.
As they sit down, she says, "Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try?"
"That's no good," sighs Arthur, "your brother is 103, he can't help."
"He may be 103, but his eyesight is perfect." says the wife.
So the next day Arthur heads of to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did, " replied the brother-in-law, "I have perfect eyesight."
"Where did it go?" asked Arthur.
His brother-in-law looks at him for a full minute and says, "I can't remember!"
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