The Best 35 Down Load Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Down Load jokes. There are some down load loaded jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these down load loading puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Down Load Jokes and Puns

I got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

Apparently you're not allowed to nudge the nearest co-worker and say, "get a load of this guy" every time someone walks in.

My wife is an economist and I am an engineer.

I was watching my wife make her breakfast one morning, and noticed that she made way too many trips to get each of the items she needed. So I said in my best engineer voice, Hey sweetheart, why don't you utilize the load maximization principle and carry all the items you need in one trip, thereby minimizing total distance travelled?

Well don't you know, she loved my suggestion!

It used to take her 11 minutes to make her breakfast… now I do it in 5.

Trojan isn't a good name for a condom.

Didn't the real Trojan horse burst and loads of little guys came pouring out of it?

What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?

A MAGAzine.

What's big, black and loaded with aids?

A new Cadillac Escalade with cruise control, lane alert, navigation, downhill descent control and parking assist.


My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher...

Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!

Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes.

It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something.

A man walks into a sperm bank

The doctor says "get a load of this guy"

I went for an audition at a talent agency today.

They asked "so what's your special talent?"

I said "I do bird impressions!"

They said "sorry, that's not original we have had loads of them!"

I said "fair enough!!"...
and flew out the window.

I've decided to go on the "England World Cup Diet"

It only lasts 5 days and you lose loads!

(England fan here using humour to cope with the pain...)

Somebody just threw a load of Omega 3 pills at me...

Don't worry though, I only suffered super fish oil injuries..

You can explore down load chrome reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean down load unload dad jokes. There are also down load puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


[NSFW] What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine?

You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you

A mom was cleaning her son's bedroom when she found a load of serious bondage gear & fetish mags.

She asked her husband: What do we do? Husband said: I'm no expert, but I wouldn't spank him!"

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.

A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.

The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"

"It's hard to say."

My son wanted me to buy him GTA

When I got to the store, I couldn't remember the title. So I told the guy "it's the game where the black guy drives cars round drunk, and shags loads of women"

He gave me a copy of tiger woods PGA golf

Its untrue that most women want to get married.

I've asked loads and they've all said no.

I'm thinking of opening a sperm bank and calling it...

"Get a load of this guy"

A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him.

She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street.

At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load."

He ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load."

The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."

I put a load in the dishwasher

She swallowed.


Thinking about opening up a sperm bank in New Jersey.

Gonna call it: "Get a load of this guy over here!".

An armed masked man bursts into a bank yelling "EVERYBODY PUT YOUR HANDS UP, THIS IS A ROBBERY!"

The patrons and staff, terrified, comply.


He's loading up his sack with cash when his mask slips off. He quickly pulls it back up and sees two guys who may have seen his face. He points his gun at the first.


"Did you see my face?"


"Yes"


BANG, he shoots him.


He then points it at the second guy.


"Did you see my face?"


The second guy points at a woman sitting far off in the reception area.


"No, but my mother in law did!"

Dropped my phone in a load of mayo

What the Hellmann

Chinese magican

Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate?

I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

I treat every day like I am running a marathon tomorrow...

I rest, load up on carbs and don't run.

As long as I live I'll never forget my father's last words to me...

GODDAMMIT BOY BE CAREFUL THAT THING'S LOADED!

Husband and wife decide to make a password...

...for sex,
they decide on 'washing machine'.
Later in bed that night husband says,
Washing machine.
Wife replies, Not tonight darling I have a sore head.
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says,
Washing machine.
Husband replies,
Too late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand.

Someone told me flowers had sex organs...

....what a load of Poppycock!

I could see my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load last night...

I could see it in her eyes.

Got fired from the sperm bank yesterday

Apparently they were mad at me for saying Get a load of this guy every time someone walked in.

Art Thief

An art thief pulls off an incredible heist at the Louvre. He loads a bunch of priceless paintings in the back of his van and drives off.

He is about to make the perfect getaway when his van suddenly stops. The authorities nab him, and one of them asks "what happened to the van?"

The thief replies:

"I did not have the Monet

to buy Degas

to make the Van Gogh"

What's the difference between a woman and a laundry machine?

When I dump a load in the washing machine it doesn't follow me around after

I got fired from my job at the sperm bank

I said "Get a load of this guy," every time someone walked in.

I got fired from the sperm bank yesterday.

I kept saying, "Get a load of this guy!", when someone walked in.

A mother cleaning her 12 year old's bedroom

A mum is cleaning her 12year old son's bedroom and finds a load of bondage gears and fetish magazines.

She asks her husband, "What do I do?"

He says, "I'm not sure, but whatever you do, don't spank him!"

Sperm banks be like:

Get a load of this guy

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the down load ballast jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working down load backspace piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes