Doughnuts Jokes
51 doughnuts jokes and hilarious doughnuts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doughnuts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read some of the funniest doughnuts jokes from Dunkin' Donuts to Kreme. Learn why glaze is always the preferred topping and why no one should ever put a burger in a Dunkin' Donut. Get ready to laugh out loud!
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Funniest Doughnuts Short Jokes
Short doughnuts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The doughnuts humour may include short donuts jokes also.
- I got arrested today I got arrest today, apparently you aren't allowed to do doughnuts within 200ft of a school zone... the frosting worked as great lubricant though
- A person at the store asked me if doughnuts are healthy. I don't know, but i never met a sick one in my entire life.
- I don't know why Gordon Ramsay calls people a doughnut as an insult Because honestly if someone called me a doughnut that would be the sweetest thing anyone has ever called me
- Eyes give everything away. A cop pulls over a guy. Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking? Gee, officer, the man says, Your eyes are awfully glazed-have you been eating doughnuts?
- What's the difference between a Doughnut and a Pretzel? One once was hole, but now it's knot.
- Who is the most popular guy in a swingers' club? The guy who can carry a dozen doughnuts without using his hands.
Who's the most popular woman?
The one who can get the last one without using hers. - Doughnuts I got arrested the other night for doing doughnuts in the McDonald's car park… I know what your thinking, who names their dog doughnuts
- I was turned away when I tried to order a pie from Yoda's bakery. "Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie."
- Dirty Pig Customer is disgusted when she sees a baker crimping a pie with his false teeth.
Have you now got a tool for that job, you filthy pig
Yes, I use that for the doughnuts!! - What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over? Dough-nuts (South Park reference again; just spreading it).
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Doughnuts One Liners
Which doughnuts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with doughnuts? I can suggest the ones about glazed donut and cookie dough.
- What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts
- A girl quit her job at the doughnut factory... She was fed up with the hole business.
- What did Yoda say when the bakery was out of Pies? Dough. Or Doughnut. There is no Pie.
- Where were the first doughnuts made? In grease!
- What does ADHD stand for? Attention Deficit HEY DOUGHNUTS!!!
- What did one doughnut say to the other... ...you look a little glazed
- A sheep, two doughnuts, and a snake walked into a bar. Bah-Dunk-Dunk, Sssss.
- What are strange doughnuts made out of? Weird doughs...
- One time I had a doughnut stuffed with icing It was filling!
- One time the Pillsbury Doughboy attacked me. I kicked him in his doughnuts and ran.
- I knew a guy obsessed with baking pastries. He was a real dough-nut.
- What did an angry doughnut say to his wife? Doughnut talk to me.
- What does the apathetic pastry Chef say? I doughnut care.
- I heard it was healthy to eat nuts So I've been eating lots of doughnuts
- What nut is not gluten free? A doughnut
Ridiculous Doughnuts Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about doughnuts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pizza dough jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make doughnuts pranks.
A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room.
In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry.
"I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!"
With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise.
The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish.
Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need."
With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.
The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts."
With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.
"Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady.
The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."
Free doughnuts
I went to Krispy Kreme for talk like a pirate day to get a free doughnut. I looked the cashier in the face and told her I used the free WiFi to download [insert popular movie name here]. They gave me free doughnuts for 25 to life.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Who is the most popular guy on a n**... beach?
The guy carrying two cups of coffee and a dozen doughnuts.
*ba dum dishhhh* Yeah, don't worry people. Like this joke, I recycle a lot of things. No need to thank me - you're welcome.
Army Post
A friend of mine recently back from his time in the army told me about one night, at his military base when he woke up about 2am, went outside - and he saw doughnuts, eclairs, cakes of all sizes scattered over the yard - but not another person in sight. Then he realised...
They had desserted their post.
Every cook has a secret
The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.
He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.
Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.
Admiral: That's pretty unhygienic.
Cook: In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the doughnuts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The police say that they burn all the w**... they confiscate...
That would explain the doughnuts...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy was in a bakery and accidentally pushed open the door to the back room.
To his surprise, he saw one of the bakers lying down n**... on a counter, kneading bread dough on his chest. The guy turned and said to another baker, "That's the oddest thing I have ever seen." The baker replied, "You should see him make the doughnuts!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my women like I like my doughnuts.
So fat that their holes are closed.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you j**... the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A doughnut
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There *is* a difference between doughnuts and donuts
**Ugh!**
I used to eat a dozen doughnuts and hate myself. So I went on a diet, and I have made some real progress!
Now I hate myself after only one doughnut!
How did the man become the most popular at the nudist colony?
He caught six doughnuts with no hands.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Irish Doughnuts
p**... and m**... are walking down the road and p**...'s got a bag of doughnuts in his hand.
p**... says to m**..., If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both.
My brother was having a tough time losing weight.
Our sister thought he should cut back gradually, so one day she asked, Mike would you like to split a doughnut with me?
Mike answered, Want to split two?
