Doughnuts Jokes
51 doughnuts jokes and hilarious doughnuts puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doughnuts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read some of the funniest doughnuts jokes from Dunkin' Donuts to Kreme. Learn why glaze is always the preferred topping and why no one should ever put a burger in a Dunkin' Donut. Get ready to laugh out loud!
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Funniest Doughnuts Short Jokes
Short doughnuts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The doughnuts humour may include short donuts jokes also.
- I got arrested today I got arrest today, apparently you aren't allowed to do doughnuts within 200ft of a school zone... the frosting worked as great lubricant though
- A person at the store asked me if doughnuts are healthy. I don't know, but i never met a sick one in my entire life.
- A Scottish man walks into a bakery and says "excuse me, is that a doughnut or a meringue? To which the baker replies No you're right enough it's a doughnut"
- I don't know why Gordon Ramsay calls people a doughnut as an insult Because honestly if someone called me a doughnut that would be the sweetest thing anyone has ever called me
- Eyes give everything away. A cop pulls over a guy. Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking? Gee, officer, the man says, Your eyes are awfully glazed-have you been eating doughnuts?
- What's the difference between a Doughnut and a Pretzel? One once was hole, but now it's knot.
- Who is the most popular guy in a swingers' club? The guy who can carry a dozen doughnuts without using his hands.
Who's the most popular woman?
The one who can get the last one without using hers. - popular male at a nudist colony Q: Who's the most popular male at a nudist colony?
A: The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts. - Doughnuts I got arrested the other night for doing doughnuts in the McDonald's car park… I know what your thinking, who names their dog doughnuts
- I was turned away when I tried to order a pie from Yoda's bakery. "Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie."
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Doughnuts One Liners
Which doughnuts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with doughnuts? I can suggest the ones about glazed donut and cookie dough.
- What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts
- What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!! I'll see myself out.
- A girl quit her job at the doughnut factory... She was fed up with the hole business.
- What did Yoda say when the bakery was out of Pies? Dough. Or Doughnut. There is no Pie.
- Why did the baker quit making doughnuts? He was fed up with the hole business!
- Where were the first doughnuts made? In grease!
- What does ADHD stand for? Attention Deficit HEY DOUGHNUTS!!!
- What did one doughnut say to the other... ...you look a little glazed
- What does the Pillsbury Doughboy see when he looks down? His Doughnuts.
- A sheep, two doughnuts, and a snake walked into a bar. Bah-Dunk-Dunk, Sssss.
- What are strange doughnuts made out of? Weird doughs...
- One time I had a doughnut stuffed with icing It was filling!
- I like my women like I like my doughnuts. So fat that their holes are closed.
- One time the Pillsbury Doughboy attacked me. I kicked him in his doughnuts and ran.
- I knew a guy obsessed with baking pastries. He was a real dough-nut.
Ridiculous Doughnuts Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about doughnuts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pizza dough jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make doughnuts pranks.
A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room.
In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry.
"I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!"
With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise.
The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish.
Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need."
With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.
The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts."
With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.
"Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady.
The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."
Free doughnuts
I went to Krispy Kreme for talk like a pirate day to get a free doughnut. I looked the cashier in the face and told her I used the free WiFi to download [insert popular movie name here]. They gave me free doughnuts for 25 to life.
What do you get when the Pillsbury dough boys bend over?
Dough-nuts (South Park reference again; just spreading it).
Who is the most popular guy on a n**... beach?
The guy carrying two cups of coffee and a dozen doughnuts.
*ba dum dishhhh* Yeah, don't worry people. Like this joke, I recycle a lot of things. No need to thank me - you're welcome.
Army Post
A friend of mine recently back from his time in the army told me about one night, at his military base when he woke up about 2am, went outside - and he saw doughnuts, eclairs, cakes of all sizes scattered over the yard - but not another person in sight. Then he realised...
They had desserted their post.
Every cook has a secret
The Admiral was visiting one of his ships. When having tea he noticed that every biscuit has the ship's insignia embossed on it.
He is impressed and calls the cook to ask him how he does this.
Cook: When rolling the biscuits I slap each one onto my belt buckle before putting them in the oven.
Admiral: That's pretty unhygienic.
Cook: In that case sir, I'd suggest you skip the doughnuts.
The police say that they burn all the w**... they confiscate...
That would explain the doughnuts...
What do you get when you j**... the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A doughnut
At the bakery, A Scotsman asks "Is that a doughnut or a meringue?"
"No, you're right, it's a doughnut."
There *is* a difference between doughnuts and donuts
**Ugh!**
Irish Doughnuts
p**... and m**... are walking down the road and p**...'s got a bag of doughnuts in his hand.
p**... says to m**..., If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both.
So the cops caught me doing doughnuts in my car today.
I know what you're thinking. Who the h**... names their dog doughnuts
My brother was having a tough time losing weight.
Our sister thought he should cut back gradually, so one day she asked, Mike would you like to split a doughnut with me?
Mike answered, Want to split two?
Dirty Pig
Customer is disgusted when she sees a baker crimping a pie with his false teeth.
Have you now got a tool for that job, you filthy pig
Yes, I use that for the doughnuts!!
