The Best 50 Doug Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Doug jokes. There are some doug andy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these doug doug benson puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Doug Jokes and Puns

Tom had been a compulsive worrier for years...

...until he found a way to overcome this problem.

His friends noticed the dramatic change.

"You don't seem to be worried about anything anymore."

"I hired a professional worrier for $1000.00 a week, Tom replied.

'I haven't had a single problem since."

"A thousand a week," said Doug. "You can't afford that, how are you going to pay him?"

"Tom replied, "That's his problem."

Quadriplegic jokes I've gathered from over the years.

What do you call a quadriplegic that hangs on your wall?

Art.

What do you call a quadriplegic that lays on your porch?

Matt.

What do you call a quadriplegic that is in a hole?

Doug.

What do you call a quadriplegic in a ditch?

Phil.

What do you call a quadriplegic doing water ski jumps?

Skip.

What do you call a quadriplegic floating in the water?

Bob.

What do you call a quadriplegic playing in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

What do you call a quadriplegic inside of your mail box?

Bill.

Dough Boy

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.

He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.

The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.

The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.

Doug joke, Dough Boy

name puns! add to the list

what do you call a man:

-with a shovel?
-Doug

-without a shovel?
-Douglas

-in the bushes?
-Russel

-floating in the ocean?
-Bob

-with a gun?
-sir.

What do you call a woman:

-with one leg?
-Eileen

Just saw the Lego Movie...

...it was very well *pieced* together!

(Got this off Doug Benson's 'Doug Loves Movies' podcast)


My pet dog named Doug ran away.

Now everybody calls me Doug-less. :(

Your bad Bon-Bon jokes - post em

What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

..

Doug

Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.

Doug joke, Your bad Bon-Bon jokes - post em

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing.

I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

What did one doughnut say to the doughnut he just met?

You dough-nut know me

Douglas Adams on "How to Leave the Planet"

What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.

You can explore doug bob reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean doug debra dad jokes. There are also doug puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The common phrase to express somethings simplicity is

"its not rocket science...". But what do rocket scientists say to each other? "Come on Doug, its not.....sex."

A woman had five sons.

A woman had five sons: Alex, Bill, Chad, Doug, and Eric. One day, the woman gets a phone call from the hospital. The doctor says, "I'm so sorry to tell you this, but your son was in a car accident and broke his leg."

"Oh no!" She responds, "Which one?"

The doctor answers, "The left leg."

What did the dough say when it was put in the oven?

"I've died and gone to levain"

What did one doughnut say to the other...

...you look a little glazed

Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?

because he was kneaded.

Doug joke, Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?

I blew a speaker in my truck today

He was a motivational speaker. Felt pretty good about myself afterwards.

Gotta love Doug Stanhope.

Doughnuts make u go nuts

What kind of doughnuts do the KKK prefer? White powdered doughnuts

What do you call a guy with a shovel in his head?

Doug.


What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?

Doug

What do you call the same man without a shovel in his head?

Dougless

Noah, am I a bad mother?

My name is Doug

What do you call a man with a shovel on his head?

Doug

Did you know that dough is necessary to have bread?

In other words: you knead dough to make bread

What's the difference between Roy Moore and Doug Jones?

Doug Jones: hard on crime.

Roy Moore: hard-on crime.

(found on twitter)

Doug Jones just won the Senate race against Roy Moore

I guess you could say he got Moore votes.

Doug Jones' margin of victory is so small

Roy Moore is going to try and molest it.

Doug Jones' victory is so small

Roy Moore wants to date it

Douglas was a grave digger but he fell into a grave and died.

I guess he Doug his own grave.

Why wouldn't the dough let go?

Because it was so kneedy

Surprisingly, Doug Jones isn't the best thing to come out of Alabama

I-65 North has been saving people from Alabama since 1959

What do you call a guy with a shovel?

Doug

What do you call a guy without a shovel?

Douglass

What do you call a man with a shovel?

Doug

Doug Ford reminds me of a Walmart

They just love their rollbacks.

Doug Ford and Walmart are quite similar

They both love their rollbacks.

You know what's better than a rape whistle?

A rape knife or a rape gun. All's I'm saying is don't bring a whistle to a rape fight.

credit to comedian Doug Mellard

New apartment

Doug: Man, you should see my new apartment
Tom: why, is it big?
Doug: ye man, it's got floor to ceiling walls and wall to wall floors you should see it
Tom: fancy

Jim Ward was found dead today, washed up beside a lake in east Mississippi.

Authorities say he Doug dimma-drowned himself.

A Nickelodeon fan and a Namco enthusiast walk into a bar.

The Nickelodeon fan says to him, "Yo, do you dig Doug?"

I took my doughnut back to the shop the other day

As it had a hole in it

Doug Gottlieb Joke

I am bringing diversity to the set. What is the white man's perspective?

What did Doug Pederson tell the Eagles about the tough matchup with the Saints?

Don't expect tomorrow to be a breeze.

Another movie reboot

Pam and Doug were walking past a movie theatre when Doug pointed and said hey look they're remaking that old PG-13 classic, but it looks like this time they're giving it an R!

Pam looked over and, sure enough, there was a big poster for Planet Of The Rapes

My friend Doug shocked and hurt me.

He told me today that I make people very uncomfortable and have no respect for personal space. I mean, what a horrible thing to say to a friend? It totally ruined our bath.

My dyslexic support group held a slam poetry competition

Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America.

Anna got second with a touching monologue about women's rights.

I got third by smashing an urn.

What do you call a man holding a shovel?

Doug

What do you call the same man without a shovel?

Douglas

Where were the first doughnuts made?

In grease!

What you you call a retired miner?

Doug

What do you call a man who has finished digging?

Doug

I have two friends that are excavators

Doug and Phil

A minister and his friend in the congregation were fans of rival sports teams.

When they were due to play each other, the two made a gentleman's agreement not to pray for their team.

The minister's team ended up losing quite badly, and he decided to tease his friend about it from the pulpit on Sunday.

"My friends, you know that Doug and I back different teams. We said we wouldn't pray for our team to win, but obviously, Doug cheated," he grinned at his friend and the congregation chuckled.

"Preacher, I didn't do that," Doug shot back. "I just asked God to let the best team win!"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the doug chris jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working doug hank piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes