Doug Jokes
59 doug jokes and hilarious doug puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doug that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Doug Short Jokes
Short doug jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The doug humour may include short bob jokes also.
- Doug Jones just won the Senate race against Roy Moore I guess you could say he got Moore votes.
- What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? Doug
What do you call the same man without a shovel in his head?
Dougless - what do you call a man with a shovel? Doug
What do you call a man without a shovel?
Douglas - Surprisingly, Doug Jones isn't the best thing to come out of Alabama I-65 North has been saving people from Alabama since 1959
- What did Doug Pederson tell the Eagles about the tough matchup with the Saints? Don't expect tomorrow to be a breeze.
- What do you call a guy with a shovel? Doug
What do you call a guy without a shovel?
Douglass - Just saw the Lego Movie... ...it was very well *pieced* together!
(Got this off Doug Benson's 'Doug Loves Movies' podcast) - Douglas was a grave digger but he fell into a grave and died. I guess he Doug his own grave.
- What do you call a man holding a shovel? Doug
What do you call the same man without a shovel?
Douglas - A Nickelodeon fan and a Namco enthusiast walk into a bar. The Nickelodeon fan says to him, "Yo, do you dig Doug?"
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Doug One Liners
Which doug one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with doug? I can suggest the ones about hank and spade.
- What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying beside a hole? Doug
- What do you call a man who has finished digging? Doug
- What you you call a retired miner? Doug
- What do you call a man with a shovel on his head? Doug
- I have two friends that are excavators Doug and Phil
- What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug
- Doug Jones' victory is so small Roy Moore wants to date it
- Doug Ford and Walmart are quite similar They both love their rollbacks.
- What do you call a guy with a shovel in his head? Doug.
- My pet dog named Doug ran away. Now everybody calls me Doug-less. :(
- Doug Ford reminds me of a Walmart They just love their rollbacks.
- Noah, am I a bad mother? My name is Doug
- I'm not surprised at the Alabama result I guess they wanted more Doug and less Moore
- How does 18yo Sharpay differentiate her two sons both called Doug? By their last name
- Thanks for NOTHING Dave. Don't worry about it Doug, it was nothing!
Quirky and Hilarious Doug Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about doug you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ante jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make doug pranks.
Tom had been a compulsive worrier for years...
...until he found a way to overcome this problem.
His friends noticed the dramatic change.
"You don't seem to be worried about anything anymore."
"I hired a professional worrier for $1000.00 a week, Tom replied.
'I haven't had a single problem since."
"A thousand a week," said Doug. "You can't afford that, how are you going to pay him?"
"Tom replied, "That's his problem."
Quadriplegic jokes I've gathered from over the years.
What do you call a quadriplegic that hangs on your wall?
Art.
What do you call a quadriplegic that lays on your porch?
Matt.
What do you call a quadriplegic that is in a hole?
Doug.
What do you call a quadriplegic in a ditch?
Phil.
What do you call a quadriplegic doing water ski jumps?
Skip.
What do you call a quadriplegic floating in the water?
Bob.
What do you call a quadriplegic playing in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
What do you call a quadriplegic inside of your mail box?
Bill.
Dough Boy
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.
He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.
The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.
The f**... was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.
name puns! add to the list
what do you call a man:
-with a shovel?
-Doug
-without a shovel?
-Douglas
-in the bushes?
-Russel
-floating in the ocean?
-Bob
-with a gun?
-sir.
What do you call a woman:
-with one leg?
-Eileen
Your bad Bon-Bon jokes - post em
What do you call a man with a s**... on his head?
..
Doug
Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there.
What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?
They have to go through the glazing.
I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.
What did one doughnut say to the doughnut he just met?
You dough-nut know me
What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?
Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.
The common phrase to express somethings simplicity is
"its not rocket science...". But what do rocket scientists say to each other? "Come on Doug, its not.....s**...."
A woman had five sons.
A woman had five sons: Alex, Bill, Chad, Doug, and Eric. One day, the woman gets a phone call from the hospital. The doctor says, "I'm so sorry to tell you this, but your son was in a car accident and broke his leg."
"Oh no!" She responds, "Which one?"
The doctor answers, "The left leg."
What did the dough say when it was put in the oven?
"I've died and gone to levain"
What did one doughnut say to the other...
...you look a little glazed
Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help?
because he was kneaded.
Did you know that dough is necessary to have bread?
In other words: you knead dough to make bread
Doug Jones' margin of victory is so small
Roy Moore is going to try and m**... it.
You know what's better than a r**... whistle?
A r**... knife or a r**... gun. All's I'm saying is don't bring a whistle to a r**... fight.
credit to comedian Doug Mellard
Jim Ward was found dead today, washed up beside a lake in east Mississippi.
Authorities say he Doug dimma-drowned himself.
Doug Gottlieb Joke
I am bringing diversity to the set. What is the white man's perspective?
Another movie reboot
Pam and Doug were walking past a movie theatre when Doug pointed and said hey look they're remaking that old PG-13 classic, but it looks like this time they're giving it an R!
Pam looked over and, sure enough, there was a big poster for Planet Of The Rapes
My friend Doug shocked and hurt me.
He told me today that I make people very uncomfortable and have no respect for personal space. I mean, what a horrible thing to say to a friend? It totally ruined our bath.
My dyslexic support group held a slam poetry competition
Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America.
Anna got second with a touching monologue about women's rights.
I got third by smashing an urn.
Where were the first doughnuts made?
In grease!
A minister and his friend in the congregation were fans of rival sports teams.
When they were due to play each other, the two made a gentleman's agreement not to pray for their team.
The minister's team ended up losing quite badly, and he decided to tease his friend about it from the pulpit on Sunday.
"My friends, you know that Doug and I back different teams. We said we wouldn't pray for our team to win, but obviously, Doug cheated," he grinned at his friend and the congregation chuckled.
"Preacher, I didn't do that," Doug shot back. "I just asked God to let the best team win!"
Doughnuts
I got arrested the other night for doing doughnuts in the McDonald's car park… I know what your thinking, who names their dog doughnuts
