The Best 14 Double Meaning Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Double Meaning jokes. There are some double meaning jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these double meaning puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Double Meaning Jokes and Puns

A Roman Legionnaire walks into a bar.

The bartender asks "What can I get you?" to which the Legionnaire replied: "A Martinum please".

The bartender looked puzzled, "Don't you mean a Martini?"

The legionnaire snapped back with "If I wanted a f*cking double I'd ask for one!"

A Roman centurian walks into a bar

And says to the barman "I'd like a Martinus, please"

The barman says "don't you mean a Martini?"

And the centurion snaps "if I wanted a double I would have asked for one"

Wishes

A woman was walking on the beach when she spotted a lamp almost buried in the sand. She picked it up, dusted it off, and to her surprise a genie popped out.

"Thank you for releasing me from my thousand-year imprisonment! I will grant you the traditional three wishes as a reward. And since you are married, your husband will get double of whatever you wish for."

"But I hate my husband," the woman protested. "He cheated on me and spent all our money -- I've already filed for divorce."

The genie shrugged and told her it was genie law. "OK, whatever," she said, "Give me a hundred million dollars." *Poof!* There were stacks and stacks of newly minted $100 bills piled in front of her. "So, does that mean my husband has *two* hundred million now?"

"Yep," the genie said.

"OK... for my second wish, I want a 100,000 square foot mansion." *Poof!* There was a huge mansion right up on the bluff, and the deed was in her pocket. "So, does that mean my husband gets *two* mansions?"

"Yes indeed. Now, what would you like for your final wish?"

She thought about it for a minute, then snapped her fingers and said, "Genie -- scare me half to death!"

Double standards are the worst.

I mean, one flag is enough.

If Jesus comes back and is crucified again

Does that mean he's been double crossed


A Roman walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.

"Do you mean a martini?" the bartender asks.

"Look, if I wanted a double I would have said so."

A man goes into a bar where, instead of drinks, they sell words and phrases...

he asks the barman if they sell entendres. The barman says "yes" so the man says "ok, I'll have a double" and the barman says "oh, you mean a large one".

Professor of linguistics

A professor of linguistics was giving a lecture about double negatives he " in some languages double negative means positive but in others double negative means still means negative , but there is no such thing as double positive meaning negative"

A student from the back was heard shouting "yeah right"

A nun is doing her rounds around town. . .

. . .when she turns the corner near a bar, only to collide with a mean-looking, stumbling drunk. The drunk flies into a rage, and punches her in the face. He then kicks her square in the gut, and begins to brutally pummel her head and face as she doubles over.

Within a minute, she is reduced to a quivering, sobbing mess on the sidewalk. The drunk spits on the nun, and sneers.

"Yeah. . .not so fuckin' tough NOW, eh Batman?"

The double meaning of Christmas!

I bought a new 6 foot, artificial, LED Christmas tree yesterday.

The sales assistant asked " Are you putting this up yourself sir?"

"No, it's going in the living room as usual" I replied.

In Scotland, they are so mean with money that every home has double glazing installed.

So their kids can't hear the ice cream van

You can explore double meaning reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean double meaning dad jokes. There are also double meaning puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I always thought it was interesting how double jointed kids were always really cool in elementary school...

I mean weird flex, but ok.

So i told my russian friend

Your parents must be the novichok killers
1. Because he's russian
2.because theyre both males so it means he's adopted
DOUBLE CUSS

What do you get when you cross dirty double meanings with WWI?

The Triple Entendre.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the double meaning jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working double meaning piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes