Double Bass Jokes
8 double bass jokes and hilarious double bass puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about double bass that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheerful Fun Double Bass Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What is a good double bass joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
How long does it take to tune a double bass?
Nobody knows.
You stole my viola, cello, and double bass.
You made me so angry, I'm violint now.
A double bass player
A double bass player gets a call for a gig. Says he has to meet everyone else at the docks at 9pm. He's there waiting when he gets bashed on the head and knocked unconscious.
He wakes up ducked taped to his bass, floating in the harbour. After his first panic fades he looks around and notices several other players also ducked taped to their basses, bobbing in the water.
After a pause he yells out "Hey, do we get fed on this gig?"
"We did last year!" one answers.
What instrument to introverts like the most?
Double basses, because they're very low-key.
There once was a double bass player who always had problems with timing. Over time it got him so desperate and frustrated that he...
...threw himself behind a train
What do middle class people do in a rave
Drop the double bass
How do you make a double bass sound in tune?
Chop it up an turn it into a xylophone
The London Philharmonic is getting set up to play Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.
Everybody's practicing their parts, except for the bass players - they barely have any notes at all, just at the very beginning and the very end. So they hatch a plan: during the performance, they'll all sneak out and go to the pub for some brews. The lead bassist ties a string to the last page of the conductor's score, to alert them so they can get back in time.
Performance night rolls around, and the curtains roll up to a magnificent opening segment. The bassists duck behind the percussion and run to the nearest bar. They order a couple of drinks and joke to themselves about how ridiculous they look in tailed, double-breasted tuxedos when suddenly they are approached by a man dressed even more formally, wearing a crown and long gown. He introduces himself as the Count of Bavaria, a true regal fellow. Before they know it everybody is chatting it up and the Count orders a *huge* plate of nachos. This is a massive plate - big enough for three men - but the Count, he must be starving because he eats every last bite. The bassists are enjoying their drinks and starting to get a bit drunk, when they notice they've got to rush back... Meanwhile, back at the performance, the conductor has turned the last page. He sees the string, and it dawns on him: it's the bottom of the ninth, the bassists are loaded and the count is full.
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