Doorstep Jokes
35 doorstep jokes and hilarious doorstep puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doorstep that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Doorstep Short Jokes
Short doorstep jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The doorstep humour may include short footsteps jokes also.
- Gifted child! My parents always said I was a gifted child. Turns out they meant someone left me on their doorstep in a box.
- What do you call a man with no arms and legs Floating in a lake?
Bob.
Sitting at your doorstep?
Matt. - There's a man on my doorstep delivering a replacement bathroom fixture right now. Let that sink in.
- The guys that taught me every medicine joke I know just arrived at my doorstep. I decided to in-vitamin.
- I left a present for my crush today, and she had me arrested! When her cat does it, it's adorable, but apparently it's "creepy" when I leave a dead bird on her doorstep.
- Fired the maid yesterday because wife suspected maid had been stealing her jewelry. Today I found a snake on our doorstep. At least we got a diamondback.
- This criminal invaded my house and turned my phone book upside down without me realising. Instead of the cops there's some angry guy with a pitchfork on my doorstep.
- I don't know who left this huge nugget on my doorstep, but ... Thanks for the gold, stranger.
- A friend came to my doorstep claiming he'd robbed the pools supply cupboard. He wanted somewhere to lilo.
- For the past month I have woken up to find hundreds of flowers with no heads all over my doorstep,garden and drive. I think I'm being stalked.
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Doorstep One Liners
Which doorstep one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with doorstep? I can suggest the ones about doorway and stepping.
- How do you get an art major off your doorstep? Pay for your pizza.
- How do you get a Harvard graduate off your doorstep? Tip him for the pizza.
- How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? You pay for the pizza.
- If you see a habanero on your doorstep, put a sweater on ...it's a little chili outside
- What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs lying on your doorstep? An ambulance.
- My friend keeps leaving exotic birds on my doorstep... Well toucan play at that game!
- What is the name of a Jehovah's Witness's place of worship? Your doorstep
- What's worse than finding a baby at your doorstep? Finding half a baby at the doorstep
- What's the worst thing about winter for an i**... alien? ICE on your doorstep.
Laughable Doorstep Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about doorstep you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stepladder jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make doorstep pranks.
True Story: I found a note on my doorstep today.
Opening it, I was excited to see a riddle!
It read:
"What dog has legs
But cannot run.
A tail,
It cannot wag,
A mouth,
But cannot bark,
A nose,
But cannot smell?"
I love riddles. Before reading the answer, I sat down with my wife and we spent a while pondering the possible answers.
Eventually, curiosity overcame us. We turned over the note to see the answer.
It read:
"Your dog.
I'm really sorry.
I ran it over."
I hate riddles.
One night, Mrs. McMillen answered the door to see her husbands bestfriend p**... standing on the doorstep.....
"Hello p**..., where is my husband? He went with you to the Guinness factory."
p**... shook his head and said "Ah Mrs. McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drown."
Mrs.McMillen starts crying. "Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?"
p**... shakes his head no, then says "Not really, he got out 3 times to pee."
When in doubt ...
Wife : I doubt my husband has been cheating on me.... I have doubt on one woman we both know.... What to do?
Shrink: Take your husband to that woman's doorstep and see if his wi-fi connects automatically.
The other day a mysterious package appeared on my doorstep.
Upon further inspection, I realized it was a large bowl-shaped object with two knobs that controlled the outflow of a liquid. I stood on the doorstep and yelled to my wife to come and look. She told me she had ordered it for the bathroom.
Let that sink in.
Tragedy at the Guinness factory
One night, a woman answers the door to see her husband's best friend, p**..., standing on the doorstep.
Hello p**..., where is my husband? He said he was going to the Guinness factory with you.
p**... shakes his head. Ah, Mrs McMillen, there was a terrible accident at the factory, your husband fell into a vat of Guinness and drowned.
Mrs McMillen starts crying. Oh don't tell me that, did he at least go quickly?
p**... shakes his head. Not really – he got out three times to go to the toilet.
A man heard a knock at the door so he went to go answer.
When he saw a hooded figure with a scythe on his doorstep, he screamed.
The figure took off his hood apologizing. "I'm a priest, I have come to bless you to protect you from COVID-19! I just have to wear this because of quarantine, I'm not supposed to leave my house. This way no one comes to stop me."
The man was surprised, but let the priest into his house regardless. I mean how often do you find a blessing in disguise?
cheater husband
Woman to the priest, ' I doubt that my husband has been cheating on me... I have doubt on one woman. what should I do?'
Priest replied, 'Take your husband to that woman's doorsteps... and check if WiFi connects automatically'
An advisor runs up to Trump and says "Sir, the people are revolting!",...
So Donald looks down from his 58th story office window at the protest on his doorstep. With his arms crossed in disgust he says:
"They sure are!"
If you're ever extremely lost, stay where you are and build a house instead of trying to find your way out...
Within a couple of days there should be a phonebook you didn't ask for at your doorstep, which will probably have a map in it.
If not, it makes good kindling.
Old Lenny
Old Lenny lived far out in the western mountains of Maine. He had spent all of his 80 years living on the family homestead.
One morning, two land surveyors appeared at his doorstep. The first one spoke: "Now Lenny, we know you is a proud Mainer, but it seems you ain't in Maine at all. We jist finished surveyin' this whole township, and your house is actually on the New Hampshire side of the state line."
"Wicked decent," says old Lenny, "I'd had enough of them Maine winters anyhow."
