doors Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious doors puns

Just been challenged to a water fight by next doors brat kids...

Popped on here to check messages while the kettle boils.

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An insolent teenager stomps off to her room...

Teenager: "And another thing - JIM MORRISON SUCKS!"

Dad: "Hey! There'll be no slamming of the Doors in this house!"

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A Calvinist dies and goes to Heaven

He sees two doors. One is labeled free will, and the other is predestination. He walks through the predestination door and an angel asks him why he was here. The Calvanist replies, "I saw this door and decided to walk through it." The angel replies, "You can't be here, you chose this."

Dejected, he goes into the other door. Its angel asks him why he was here.

He replies, "I had no choice"

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Why do chicken coops have 2 doors?

Because if they had 4 doors, they would be chicken sedans.

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When Noah reached land, he threw open the ark doors and said, "Go forth and multiply".

When all the animals cleared out, only a pair of confused looking snakes remained.

"Didn't you hear me? Go forth and multiply!" Said Noah, annoyed.

"We can't" replied one of the snakes. "We're adders".

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Why can't a chicken coop have more than two doors?

Because if it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

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A boy and his father are in an argument

Father: "I've had enough of this! Go to your room and don't come back out until you've thought long and hard about what you've done"

Son: "Fine, I didn't want to be here anyways"

Son: *Stomps up stairs*

Son: *Walks into his room, gently closes the door*

Son: "Jim Morrison sucks!"

Father: "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors!?"

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A snail walks into a car dealership...

And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:

"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"

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Guys, I just figured out how to walk thorough walls!

Doors

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Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors, it'd be a Chicken Sedan..

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A son and his Dad have an intense argument and the son storms off, furious.

Before he gets out of earshot of his father, he yells "Jim Morrison was a terrible singer and an uninspired artist who never did anything worthwhile".

His father cannot believe this insolence, and screams at the top of his lungs "As long as you live in this house, you will never, EVER SLAM THE DOORS"

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There are two words in life that will open a lot of doors for people

Push and pull

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Just finished building doors for my fish.

I'm highly skilled in the field of carp-entry.

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Why did Sauron buy the sedan instead of the coupe?

More doors.

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A dad sends his son to his room

"Go to your room!" Dad exclaimed, frustrated at his son's behavior.

"Jim Morrison is overrated!" yelled the son as he stormed down the hall.

The dad yelled furiously, "What did I tell you about slamming The Doors?!"

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I'm a moth

I walked into a dentist's office. The dentist asked me what the problem was.

I said, I'm a moth.

The dentist said, You're a moth?

I said, Yes! I'm a moth. I act like a moth. I think like a moth. I'm a moth!

The dentist said, Sir, I think you want the psychiatrist's office. He's two doors further down the hall.

I said, I know. I was on my way there, but your light was on.

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Sinks can't open doors.

Let that sink in.

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Two Blondes leave a bar and realize they've locked their keys in the car.

After trying every door, attempting to call someone for help, and further debate, one blonde says to the other I bet I can unlock the doors with a coat hanger! I'll run inside and see if they have one!

The other blonde says Ok, well hurry because it looks like it's going to rain and the top is down!

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A dad and his daughter are having an argument...

The daughter gets really frustrated with the situation, and goes to leave the room. When she reaches the doorway, she turns around and blurts out "AND BY THE WAY, JIM MORRISON WAS OVERRATED!".

Her dad yells back "HEY, WHAT'D I TELL YOU ABOUT SLAMMING THE DOORS".

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Dad: Go to your room!

Son: Jim Morrison sucks!


Dad: what did I tell you about slamming The Doors?

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A man enters an elevator, and the operator asks him what floor he wants.

The man says "Eighteenth floor." After arriving, the doors open and the operator says "We are here, my son."
The man says "Thanks, but why did you call me your son?"
The operator replies "Because I have brought you up."

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I see why Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween,

They must dislike random people coming up to their doors.

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Just been challenged to a water fight by next doors brat kids…

Popped on here while I waited for the kettle to boil.

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An insolent teenager is having an argument with her father

And as she storms off she shouts, "Oh and by the way, Jim Morrison SUCKS!"

The father looks back and responds, "Hey, there will be no slamming of The Doors in my house."

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My wife said wasting what little money we have on a lock picking set was not a good investment.

But it's actually opened a lot of doors for me.

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Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine, the wooden doors and the wooden chassis?

It wooden go.

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I went into my local record store recently...

and asked the clerk "do you have anything by The Doors?", and he replied, "just the fire extinguisher".

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Just got home and found all the doors and windows wide open and everything gone...

What kind of sick person would do this to my Advent calendar?

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An accordion player walks into a bar,

orders a drink and chats up the bartender and the regulars for an hour.

Suddenly, he realizes that not only has he left his instrument in his back seat of his car in full view of passers-by, but he hasn't even locked his doors.

He quickly excuses himself from his conversation and rushes outside and up the block to his vehicle to take care of business, but it was too late.

Sure enough, someone had thrown another accordion in his back seat.

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Remember these two words. They will open up the doors in your life.

Push and pull

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How do blind people know where to find Braille signs on walls and doors?

They just have a feel for that kind of thing.

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Do you know why a chicken coup only has two doors?

If it had four it would be a chicken sedan

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Learning to pick locks

really opened a lot of doors for me

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Always remember these 2 words in your life which will open many doors to you.

Push and pull.

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Jehovas witnesses don't celebrate Halloween

I guess they don't appreciate random people turning up at their doors.

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What are the most funny Doors jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Doors? Well, here are the best Doors dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Doors pick up lines to share with friends.

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