The Best 26 Doorman Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Doorman jokes. There are some doorman caretaker jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these doorman door puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Doorman Jokes and Puns

Four men walk into an upmarket bar...

One is Malaysian, one Laotian, one Burmese and the other Vietnamese. As they walk in, the doorman stops them and says, "sorry gentlemen, I can't let you in without a Thai."

A woman walks into a brothel, slaps down a few hundred dollars, and exclaims, "I want twelve inches, and I want them to hurt!"

So the doorman smacks her face with a ruler.

Barack Obama walks into a Halloween Party with the First Lady on his shoulders...

...the doorman says, "Excuse me Mr. President, but this is a Halloween party. Why aren't you dressed up?" Obama says, "I am dressed up! I'm a snail. I got Michelle on my back."

Why did the doorman get a raise?

He was always out standing.

The fancy dress party.

A man goes to a fancy dress party, carrying a woman on his back. He approaches the door of the party, when the doorman asks 'What have you come as!? You can't come in unless you're in fancy dress...'

The man, looking somewhat confused, replies to the doorman 'I'm dressed as a snail!' The man then points to the woman on his back and says 'That's Michelle!'


It's Jim's birthday

Jim's wife treats her man by taking him to a Strip Club for his birthday... At The Club, The Doorman Says, "Hey Jimmy, How are You?" The wife asks, "How does he know you? Jimmy says, "Oh dear, I play football with him." Inside the Bartender Says, "The Usual, Jim?" Jimmy says to Wife, "Before you say anything, He's on the Darts Team." Next a stripper Says, "Hi Jim! Do You Crave the Special Again??" The wife storms out dragging Jimmy with her & jumps into a taxi... The Taxi driver Says, "Hey Jimmy Boy! You picked up an ugly one this time...."

Two frogs carry a joke into an apartment building.

One frog turns to the doorman and says, "I don't know where this joke is going."

Doorman joke, Two frogs carry a joke into an apartment building.

Always a doorman

never a door

I went to a really trendy nightclub in town.

The doorman said, Sorry mate, you've had too many.

I said, Drinks?

He said, Birthdays.

My Night Out On The Town

Last Night, I went to a really fancy nightclub downtown. The doorman said, Sorry mate, you've had too many.

I said, Drinks?

He said, Birthdays.

The condensed version...

A Phillipino, a Korean, a Chinese fella, a Burmese lady, and a Vietnamese guy all go to a nightclub. The doorman stops them and says, "I can't let you in without a Thai."

You can explore doorman doorway reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean doorman bartender dad jokes. There are also doorman puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A doorman quits his job.

He just couldn't handle it anymore.

Why did the doorman quit his job to play basketball?

Cause he got handles

Carl Lewis goes to a golf club

The doorman stops him and says, sorry mate, no blacks.

Carl says, "What?"

The doorman has to concede, "Yeah sorry mate, it's a bit unconventional nowadays but this is an all white golf club. But there is another Golf Club about 10 minutes down the road..."Carl: "But I'm Carl Lewis" Doorman: "Alright, 5 minutes down the road then"

The doorman at a bar refuses a patron entry because dress code requires a tie be worn.

So the patron goes back to his car and pulls a set of booster cables from the trunk, ties it around his neck like and tie and returns to the doorman.

The doorman says. "OK, that will work, but you better not start anything".

Amongst the usual queue of studded leather, chained piercings and rubber appendages, the S&M club doorman was surprised to see a bespectacled man in a shirt and tie standing patiently, a calculator in one hand. "Who are you, are you lost?" asked the doorman.

"Oh, I'm the statistician" came the reply.
"Then...what are you here for?"
With an unsettling grin, the statistician produced a pencil from his back pocket.
"Just standard deviation."

Doorman joke, Amongst the usual queue of studded leather, chained piercings and rubber appendages, the S&M club do

Group of beers get in line for a night club.

Doorman goes up to the empty one and says, "Your friends are alright, but you can't come in."

"Why not?" he asks.

"You're drunk!"

Did you hear about the crazy doorman?

He was completely unhinged.

​

I think something's missing. Maybe the opening line?

A man named Matt works as a doorman...

He's a DoorMatt


I applied to be a doorman but didn't get the job due to lack of experience!!!!

That surprised me, i thought it was an entry level position. :(

A man calls his Asian friend to come to the nightclub.

"Why are you calling me over? I'm busy" The friend asked.

"The doorman told me, 'I can't let you in without a Thai'"

Very thin tie

A guy was stopped at the door of the club by the doorman.
Sorry no tie, you can't come in, says the doorman.
The guy ran back to his car, got a set of jump leads, wrapped them round his neck and retuned to the club.
I've got a tie on now, so can I go in? He asks the doorman.
Ok, he says, but don't be starting anything.

Guy goes to a fancy dress party in a green jumpsuit carry a woman by piggy back.....

Doorman: You can't come in mate, you're not in fancy dress

Guy: Yes I am, I'm a tortoise

Doorman: well I can see you're wearing green, but what's with the woman on your back?

Guy: That's Michelle....

What did the sandwich say to the doorman?

Lettuce in

Today is Jacob's birthday,

So his wife decided to surprise him, she took him to a Strip-Club House.

At the club -

DOORMAN: Hey Jacob! How are you?

WIFE: How does he know you?

Jacob: We play Golf together!

BARTENDER: The usual beer Jacob?

WIFE: And how does he know you?

Jacob: He's on the Bowling Team!

HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jacob?

The Wife storms out...... dragging Jacob with her, into a taxi!

TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jacob boy....You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel?

Jacob's funeral will be next Friday at 2pm prompt....

TIL after his show on Netflix was cancelled, Jon Bernthal was forced to take a job as a doorman in a theatre who would occasionally warm up the audience with dad jokes

He became widely known as the pun usher.

Doorman joke, TIL after his show on Netflix was cancelled, Jon Bernthal was forced to take a job as a doorman in a

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the doorman concierge puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working doorman photon piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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