The Best 32 Door To Door Salesman Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Door To Door Salesman jokes. There are some door to door salesman asks jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these door to door salesman back door puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Door To Door Salesman Jokes and Puns

A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.



Salesman: "Can I see your dad?"

Johnny: "No, he's in the shower."

Salesman: "What about your mother? Can I see her?"

Johnny: "Nope. She's in the shower, too."

Salesman: "Do you think they'll be out soon?"

Johnny: "Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead."

A snail walks into a car dealership...

And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:

"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"

A salesman knocks on the door and a small child answers

The salses man asks, "Is your father home"?

"No, he was ran over by a tractor".

"I'm sorry to hear that, is your mother home"?

"No, she was ran over by a tractor".

"Do you have any big brother or sister at home"?

"No, they were ran over by a tractor"

"So what are you doing here all alone"?

"I'm driving a tractor"

Door To Door Salesman joke, A salesman knocks on the door and a small child answers

Little Johnny and the Salesman

A salesman knocks on a door. A few seconds later the door opens. Little Johnny is standing there with a bourbon and Coke in one hand and lit cigar in the other hand.

The salesman looks at him for a second and then asks "Little boy, is your mommy here?"

Johnny flicks some cigar ash on the carpet, rubs it into the carpet with his shoe. Then he looks at the salesman and asks "What do you think?"

My Uncle Bill was a terrible door to door salesman.

He never once was able to get one door to buy another.


A salesman's car breaks down

A traveling salesman's car breaks down near an Ohio farmhouse. The salesman knocks on the door and explains his situation to the farmer.

"Well," the farmer says, "Its Friday night, I doubt you can get a tow into town tonight, so I'll let you stay the night. I have only one rule, under no circumstances are you to have sex with my son."

"I'm sorry," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong joke."

The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A door to door vacuum salesman visits a house. When he proposes a deal the woman tells him to take a hike.

Without giving her a second chance the man empties a bucket of cow dung onto to carpet and says "If the vacuum cleaner doesn't suck all of this up then I will eat the rest myself"

The woman goes to the kitchen and returns with a bowl of sugar and throws it over the cow dung and says:
"Start eating so long, we don't have electricity on the farm"

Door To Door Salesman joke, The Vacuum Cleaner Salesman

A salesman with a bad lisp...

came to my front door today. He was giving away a coupon for either free cologne or a free abortion. When I confronted him about it, he simply explained "Eidah way, you're gonna clear tha womb."

A salesman came to my door and tried to sell me a coffin.

"Nah, thats the last thing I'll need"

I've been trying to sell my child to any house that will take her.

I'm a daughter door salesman.

I didn't let my st-st-stutter stop me from achieving my dream career

I'm a door-to-door salesman. I sell "No Soliciting" signs. The more I st-st-stutter the more I seem to sell.

You can explore door to door salesman door reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean door to door salesman cigar dad jokes. There are also door to door salesman puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you call door to door coffin salesman?

A Morgue-mon

I left my job as a door to door salesman

I got fed up dealing with knobs

What do you call a religious door-to-door salesman?

A zeal-ot.

(bonus points if this made you think of the Halo games)

A door to door salesman knocked on a door and a woman answered.

Salesman - Hello. Would you like to buy a book titled '500 Excuses to Tell Your Wife After Staying Out Late'?

Woman - Why on earth would I buy a book like that?

Salesman - Because I sold a copy to your husband earlier today.

A salesman knocked on a suburban door...

...and was greeted by a nine-year-old boy puffing away on a long black cigar. Stunned for a brief moment, he managed to regain his composure and say "Good afternoon. Would your mother or father be home?" The boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes onto the carpet, and replied "What the f*ck do you think?"

Door To Door Salesman joke, A salesman knocked on a suburban door...

Dogs

Lady with three dogs opens door to salesman. Salesman trying to be friendly asks "What are the names of your dogs?"
Lady says "This is Timex, he's Boliva, and there is Rolex." Salesman says with surprise. "There all named after watches!" Lady says "Of course! Their all watch dogs! "

Worst job I ever had?

Door to door door salesman

I once met a lizard who was a door-to-door pottery salesman

He could really rep tile


So a snail is shopping for a new car

After all the paperwork is in order and credit checks completed the salesman asks if he wants any extras

Snail: "Why yes I'd like you to paint an "S" on the drivers and passengers door."

Salesman: "Well we can certainly do that for you sir, do you mind if I ask why?"

Snail: "That way,whenever I pass my friends on the street, they'll all say would you look at that "S" car go!"

Why is a door to door salesman like a guy who hates condoms?

They always try to find a way to come inside

What do you call a dog working as a door salesman?

A labour-ador

What's the difference between a Bible salesman and a homosexual?

The first one stands at the front door and says amen , while the latter enters through the back door and says ahhh man .

Did you hear about the blind fella going from house to house trying to sell his dog?

He was Labrador-to-door salesman

A traveling salesman knocked on the door of a farmhouse..

And since it was getting late, he asked the farmer if he could sleep in the barn that night. The farmer said, "That would be fine, but you have to promise to leave my son alone." And the salesman said, Oh no! I'm in the wrong joke!"

The vacuum salesman is patrolling the streets for another house to sell to.

He finds a good looking house and knocks on the door.

"Hello?" A lady replies.

He goes inside, dumps a bag of cowdung on the ground and says, "Ma'am, if this vacuum cleaner doesn't leave the floor spotless, I'll eat it!"

"Ye want some ketchup with that?"

"What do you mean?" asks the salesman.

"We just moved in and we got no electricity."

A young salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. The most beautiful woman he has ever seen answers, dressed in only a slinky negligee. She asks "Do you like what you see?" Slack jawed, the man finally manages to stutter "uh... yes, very much!"

She says "Quickly, step inside, I think I hear someone coming."

Once inside the beautiful woman drops her negligee and is completely naked. With a smile she asks "What do you think is the most sensitive part of my body?"

The salesman says "I guess that would have to be your ears."

"My ears? On this luscious body, you think my ears are the most sensitive?"

"Well, yes. When you said you heard somebody coming, that was me!"

A salesman knocked on my door.

He asked me if I wanted to buy a Gideon's Bible or I want to listen to him read the book of Psalms.

He was a stammerer.

A travelling salesman knocks on a door, which is opened by a 12 year old in a bathrobe, holding a cigar and a snifter of cognac

The salesman is shocked, but manages to say, "Excuse me, is your dad home?"

The kid responds, "What the hell do you think?"

A vacuum salesman knocked on my door this morning

When I opened my door, before I could even talk to him, he dumped a bucket of dog shit on my carpet

He then said if this vacuum cleaner doesn't clean your carpet within 2 minutes, I will personally eat whatever's left of the shit

To which I replied well you better be hungry because my electricity has been cut off since 5am

A redditor answers the door to find a salesman who's selling encyclopedias

"I don't need those," says the redditor. "I'm very well-informed."

"Oh, that's fortuitous!" replies the salesman, "Just think of how much fun you'll have sifting through them and finding all the errors!"

A vacuum cleaner salesman came to my door, poured a bag of dog shit on my carpet and said, "Sir, if this vacuum can't clean it completely, I'll eat whatever's left."

I said, "I hope you're hungry 'cause they cut off the electricity this morning."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the door to door salesman insurance salesman jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working door to door salesman used car salesman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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