Donuts Jokes
108 donuts jokes and hilarious donuts puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about donuts that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for a round of donuts and laughter! Whether you enjoy fried sweet treats from Dunkin Donuts or homemade glaze, these donut jokes are sure to make you crack a smile. From cops and donuts to the many foods related puns, they're sure to have you chuckling. So grab a donut and get ready to giggle!
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Funniest Donuts Short Jokes
Short donuts jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The donuts humour may include short doughnuts jokes also.
- So I was doing donuts in my car.. And a cop pulls me over. Now I know what you're thinking, who names their dog Donuts?
- Do you know why donuts have a hole in them? Because the baker made them with love. ^^^^^also ^^^^^why ^^^^^they're ^^^^^glazed
- Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy that can hold a cup of coffee in each hand and 6 donuts
- I went to Dunkin Donuts and ordered 4 blueberry donuts and the cashier asked if I wanna box.... ...I've been banned for life from that shop.
- An angry customers walks back in a donut shop. He says to the worker:
"Why isn't my donut glazed?!
The worker respond:
"Look sir, i'm not going to sugar coat it." - If Johnny buys seventeen donuts every Monday and eats twelve of them each Wednesday, what is Johnny left with at the end of the year? Diabetes
- What's the differnce between donuts and dead kids? A swat team doesn't break down my door over donuts.
- A Topologist comes into work covered in coffee. His colleague says "Oh no! Did you spill your donut?"
- Why did the man shut his donut shop? Why did the man close his donut shop?
...because he was fed up with the hole business! - How do you remove the inherent bureaucracy that's plaguing the donut industry? Cut out the middle, man.
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Donuts One Liners
Which donuts one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with donuts? I can suggest the ones about donut shop and glazed donut.
- When do bakers stop making donuts? When they get tired of the hole thing
- What do you call a bakery that only sells bagels and donuts? Hole foods
- I like my women like I like my coffee and donuts Cream filled
- What did the blonde say when she looked into the box of Cheerios? Wow!! Donut seeds!!!!
- What did the donut say to the cop? Don't taste me, bro !
- I heard Dunkin Donuts has a cold brew now. Cool beans.
- Which pastry is the most religious? The donut.
Its holiness cannot be denied. - Where do Irish people go for breakfast? Drunkin Donuts
- What do you call a kilogram of donuts . Property of obesity
- How did the pastry chef do on the donut-making exam? She passed with frying crullers.
- My wife accused me of taking the last donut. It's true. I just ate the hole thing.
- Why couldn't the donut reach enlightenment? Because it was already holy.
- How do American police stop shooters They donut
- How do you know that donut is created by God It's holy
- Dunkin Donuts should start selling treadmills Then, America could really run on Dunkin.
Cops And Donuts Jokes
Here is a list of funny cops and donuts jokes and even better cops and donuts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A cop pulled a man over and said, sir, your eyes are bloodshot, have you been drinking? The man replied, officer, your eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts?
- What not to say to a cop If you get pulled over and the cop says "Your eyes look glazed over It is not wise to say "like your donuts?"
- A cop asked me why I was driving so fast "Helping you pay for donuts" was not the right answer
- What do you call a cop morning mystery? Who donut?
- What's the only place that has 24 hour protection from the cops? A donut shop
- Friend of mine was shot at the bakery today, he is expected to make a full recovery. They say he was lucky it just glazed him, donut who did it but the cops are there.
- One Thing to Know About Danish Cops They Can't Lego Of Their Donuts
- What does a Boston cop say when you ask if he remembers his last desert? "I do-nut."
- Why do cops eat donuts and not bagels? Because Jews don't serve pork.
- Why do cops like donuts? They already come with unnecessary holes in them.
Dunkin Donuts Jokes
Here is a list of funny dunkin donuts jokes and even better dunkin donuts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does Michael Jordan do in Krispy Kreme? Dunkin Donut
- New Donut Shop One opened in my town that also does male vasectomies in the back. Still waiting for them to switch their name to Dunkin' NoNuts.
- Did you hear about the new "carrot" collaboration between Apple and Dunkin Donuts? They say it's going to be amazing, but unfortunately iDonut carrot all.
- Some are upset Dunkin' Donuts is changing its name to just Dunkin'. Well, that's better than their first choice- Double D's.
- After scoring shockingly low in coffee preference polls, Dunkin Donuts changed its slogan: America sleeps on Dunkin
- Why do I like going to Dunkin Donuts? Because I can say I stuffed my face with Double D's
- Why don't Dunkin' Donuts employees wear name tags? It wouldn't fit on their shirt.
- What do you call a cappuccino from Dunkin Donuts? A crappucino.
Police And Donuts Jokes
Here is a list of funny police and donuts jokes and even better police and donuts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- WARNING IF YOU HAVE SEEN A LINK ON THE INTERNET OFFERING FREE DONUTS, DO NOT CLICK ON IT. IT IS A VIRUS THAT FORCES CAPS LOCK TO BE PERMANENTLY ACTIVATED ON YOUR COMPUTER!
// THE POLICE
Hilarious Fun Donuts Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about donuts you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean donut hole jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make donuts pranks.
An old lady walks in a dinner and seats where she can see the cook, and asks the waiter for a hamburger.
He says "ok, hamburger." The old lady sees the cook stick the hamburger meat under his arm and slaps it on the grill. The old lady says,"Oh my God that is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen!" The waiter says, That's nothing you should see how he makes Donuts.
So a man walks into a donut shop on Dagobah...
And he sees a little green alien behind the counter. He asks for a hot donut.
The alien says, "Broken, our fryer is. Yesterday's donuts, I can sell you. Also, donut ingredients, we still have."
But the man is really craving a warm donut, so he asks, "Are you absolutely sure I can't get a freshly-made donut?"
"Only two options have you!" says the alien. "Dough or donut - there is no fry."
Houdini and Criss Angel
Criss Angel and Houdini walk into a bakery. Criss palms 3 Donuts with one hand and puts them in his pocket without anyone noticing. He says, "Do you see how masterful I am Houdini, I make donuts disappear at will!"
Houdini responds, "Not bad, not bad at all."
Houdini then goes to the Bakery owner and asks him if he wants to see a magic trick. The curious owner answers, "Of course!"
Houdini proceeds to ask him for a Doughnut, and then eats it. He asks him for another one, and then eats it as well. He then asks him for a third one, which the owner reluctantly gives up.
"So where is the magic trick? I gave you 3 donuts already!"
Houdini responds, "Go check Criss Angel's pocket."
(real news) Select Starbucks stores have been offering customers the option of adding carbonation to their drinks.
In response, Dunkin' Donuts is offering customers the option of having an employee make motorboat noises into their coffee.
Two magicians walk into a bakery
The first palms 3 donuts. He then snidely challenges the other magician to perform a trick of equal benefit. The second magician then calls the baker and asks for 3 donuts if he'd like to see a magic trick. The baker does his part and provides the donuts. The magician then eats the donuts and exclaims "Ta-Dah." The bakery is angered and asks "Well what's the magic trick?" The second magician replies "Look in my friend's pocket."
What did the donuts do on their date?
They glazed into each other's eyes
The baker at my local donut shop was bragging about how the male enhancement pills he'd started taking actually worked.
And that was fine until I noticed the holes in the donuts were a little larger than usual.
Why doesn't anyone like jelly donuts?
They have fillings too...
Bob Marley was complaining about the donuts up in heaven...
...because they didn't have any jam in...
Why were the golfer's donuts so bad?
Because he couldn't get a hole in one!
A guy came to me with a bag in his hand.
He said "If you can guess how many donuts are in this bag... I'll give you both of them."
I hate when I buy organic vegetables...
and when I get home I find they are just regular donuts.
I have 2 donuts: a secular one and a religious one.
The secular one is solid. The religious one is holey.
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
After a couple of spliffs.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just saw someone eat 12 dozen custard donuts
It looked like a g**... meal
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ariana Grande should stop l**... donuts...
and lick deeznuts.
Where do alcoholics get their breakfast pastries?
Drunken Donuts
If James Bond movies were about food...
These could be their titles:
* On Her Majesty's Secret Recipe
* Donuts are Forever
* Octopie
* Moonbaker
* The Spy Who Loved Meat
* License to Grill
* GoldenPie
* Diet Another Day
* All The Food In The World Is Not Enough
* Cashew Chicken Royale
Where do super-villains get their coffee?
DUN-DUN-DUUUNNNNkin Donuts.
Why do donuts have holes in the center?
Because the inventor of the donut wanted to give us a whole experience.
So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell and uh...
...I kinda feel weird about donuts now...
69'd the wife then went to buy donuts after. The guy at the counter said he already knew what I wanted, so I asked how.....
He said "You had 'glazed' all over your face. "
"I'm 29 years old today..."
"I'm 29 years old today," said Ralph, setting a box of donuts on the table in the office. His coworkers all wished him a happy birthday.
Next day, Ralph's secretary answers the phone...
"Hello, my name is Carl. I'm Ralph's brother in law, and I'd like to wish Ralph a happy birthday," says the man on the line.
"Birthday? You're a day late. He just told us yesterday he turned 29."
"No," says Carl. "He *was* 29 yesterday. *Today* he's 30."
(based on a true story)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy gets pulled over by a cop.
Cop: Your eyes are bloodshot; have you been drinking?
Guy: Your eyes are glazed; have you been eating donuts?
DoooNuts!
What do you call the center of the donuts?
"Filling"
LOL
A local donut shop started putting cereal on their donuts
When asked why they did it they said: "having donuts with cereal is a very ce-real experience"
My doctor told me to to incorporate more hole foods into my diet
so I ate a box of donuts.
Some men are like donuts
Sweet and tasty looking but once inside, you feel only regret...
hello, this is 911, what's your emergency?
it's national donuts day.
There were two guys walking by a bakery
Jim said, " Hey, watch this. I'm gonna steal a couple donuts."
He comes back a minute later. "He didn't even notice," Jim said to Steve.
"Ugh, all you think about is theft. Here, watch this. I'll get two donuts as well." Steve responded.
He goes up to the owner of the bakery.
"Hey, wanna see a magic trick?"
The owner agrees.
"I'll need two donuts."
The owner gives them to Steve, who then eats both of them.
"What's the trick?!" Asks the owner, thinking he was lied to.
Steve just replied, "Check my friend's back pocket."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo mama's so s**...
She thought Dunkin Donuts was a basketball team
I like to eat a few donuts after exercising.
Just kidding, I don't exercise.
Why did the baker stop making donuts?
Because he was bored with the hole business.
The other day a Cop pulled me over...
After asking for my documentation he said, "your eyes seem a bit red, have you been doing drugs?" To which I replied, "well now sir your eyes seem a bit glazed, have you been eating donuts?"
We both laughed and laughed some more!
I need bail money!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of men are out sailing when they decide to see what the chef is cooking for dinner.
They walk in and, being that he doesn't have a rolling pin, see him flattening biscuits with his armpit.
That's disgusting! o**... says to the other.
Yeah, well you should see how he makes donuts!
Why does a topologist hate breakfast?
Because he can't tell the difference between his donuts and his coffee.
What does the policeman say when you tell him to eat fewer donuts?
Donut worry.
They say Luis Fonsi started his own artisan donut shop recently, he specializes in habanero flavored donuts
When asked for his recipe, he just said they were made with the spicy dough
One day I want someone to look at me and say, "There he is. He's the one"
And not follow it with, "Who ate all the donuts"
French Donuts
Are the Beigne of my existence
Very generous barber
Is cutting a police officers hair, after that the police takes out his wallet, but barber says it's for free. The next morning barber finds dozen donuts left for him at the door.
Later that day, a florist comes, and as he is taking out his wallet, the barber says it's for free. The next morning barber finds dozen flowers left at the door.
Later that day a jew walks in, he cuts his hair, and then says it's for free.
The next morning barber finds dozen jews at the door.
I have a very well rounded diet
Pizza, donuts and burgers
I never could get myself into donuts...
Little too tight of a fit.
Bagels and donuts are the same thing...
I donut see a difference.
Old man
An old man got pulled over for going over the speed limit.
Officer : Do you know why i pulled you over?
Old man: Obviously because I'm late delivering these donuts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There *is* a difference between doughnuts and donuts
**Ugh!**
I am a Latino pansexual with no regrets
Hot dog buns work ok, baguettes are good when they are hollowed out, and donuts were probably made for it.
So I don't know why my friend always is saying that I'm doing it wrong
What do you call uncivilized donuts?
Bavarians
The other day I saw an event a local church was having at a dispensary where they were giving away donuts and spreading the Word of God
They called it Glaze It, Blaze It, and Praise It
Why Was The Baker So Depressed About Purchasing Containers That Only Fit 12 Donuts?
If you ask him he will give you 13 Reasons Why.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do feminists hate danishes and donuts?
Because they're a part of the pastriarchy.
