Donor Jokes

108 donor jokes and hilarious donor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about donor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud at these unique donor jokes! From funny sperm donor stories to silly kidney donor anecdotes, this article has something for everyone with a charitable bone in their body. Learn more about the lighter side of donation, including humorous comments on blood, anesthesia, and more.

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Funniest Donor Short Jokes

Short donor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The donor humour may include short donation jokes also.

  1. A priest, an atheist, and a rabbit walk into a blood donor tent The rabbit says "I might be a type O"
  2. I wanted to become a professional sperm donor I already had my slogan ready: "Wait till you get a load of this guy!"
  3. A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood donor center. The rabbit says: "I think I'm a type O."
  4. Ordered some Christmas presents online the other day and used my donor card instead of my debit card. Cost me an arm and a leg.
  5. Accidentally swiped my donor card instead of my debit card today... my groceries ended up costing me an arm and a leg
  6. But are we sure Rishi will have the resources to pay the fine? Boris will clearly borrow it from a donor.
  7. I went to go dontate blood yesterday... ...but the phlebotomist said they could not take my blood because there was a Type-O on my donor card.
  8. Upon hearing that my donor is in Eugene, I proceeded to inform my wife that, "My heart is in Oregon." She replied, "I know what a heart is!"
  9. What did the doctor say to the sad blood donor?

    Be positive.

  10. Doctor has a question. He asks if I'd like to be a kidney donor. I tell him "Doc, I'm all grown up now. I have adult knees, I don't think that'll work."

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Donor One Liners

Which donor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with donor? I can suggest the ones about donate and receives donation.

  1. Whenever I'm sad I just read my blood donor ID. It always says B positive .
  2. Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card? . .Cos I really need bits for my kids go-kart
  3. Why are kidney donors' houses so messy? They are disorganized.
  4. My dad suggested I register for a donor card He's a man after my own heart
  5. How do Republican politicians please their wives? By getting a big donor.
  6. Turkish fundraising dinner Donor Kebab
  7. What take out food should you avoid at all costs in Hospital? Donor Kebab
  8. The worst (best?) name for an egg donor clinic? The Inside Scoop
  9. Did Stephen hawking have a donor card? I need some parts for my go kart.
  10. Motorcycles, more like donor cycles.
  11. What do you call a high risk blood donor? A Gay man,
  12. My drivers license says I'm an o**... donor, but jokes on them because I own a piano.
  13. What do you call someone who doesn't wear a seatbelt? An o**... donor
  14. Celine Dion is an o**... donor... So when she dies, her heart will go on.
  15. I gave up my dream of becoming an o**... donor I didn't have the heart for it

Blood Donor Jokes

Here is a list of funny blood donor jokes and even better blood donor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My doctor was telling me that my blood tests had a typo So I guess it's pretty cool to be a universal donor.
  • How do you get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses who come knocking on your door? Tell them you're an avid blood donor.
  • A shocking new Red Cross study has found that pessimistic people make better blood donors. So B Negative, it's A Plus.
  • Did you hear about the blood drive organizer from Portland who died in a car c**...? He was an Oregon donor.

Transplant Donor Jokes

Here is a list of funny transplant donor jokes and even better transplant donor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My mate needed a bone marrow transplant We found a match in Argentina
    The operation was a success
    Our thanks go out to Diego Marrow Donor.
  • "Our hearts go out to everybody in need of a transplant." - Every o**... donor ever
Donor joke, "Our hearts go out to everybody in need of a transplant." - Every o**... donor ever

Kidney Donor Jokes

Here is a list of funny kidney donor jokes and even better kidney donor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It really takes heart to be an o**... donor. Or a liver. Or a pancreas. Even a kidney or two.

Sperm Donor Jokes

Here is a list of funny sperm donor jokes and even better sperm donor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • TIL s**... donors are paid $50 per donation. It was devastating. Imagine all the money that has slipped through my fingers.
  • A s**... donor, a lumberjack, and an agreeable man walk into a bar. He came, he saw, he concurred.
  • A s**... donor, a carpenter and Mehmed II, Ottoman Emperor are in a room. Julius Caesar walks in the room. What did he say? "Veni, vidi, vici."
  • I went to a s**... bank to become a donor. Apparently they did not want me, they just told me to beat it.
  • It takes guts to be an o**... donor. And b**... to be a s**... donor.
  • Why was the London s**... bank so unsuccessful? The were only two donors. One came on the bus, the other missed the tube.
  • Don't forget, s**... Donor day is June 16th this year. It's like Father's Day, but it comes a little early.
  • I was going to be a s**... donor for a friend But I pulled out at the last second.
  • Which song does the s**... donor play in repeat? Dire Straits - Money for Nutting
  • The s**... bank The recently opened s**... bank in town has been a failure. They only had 3 donors:
    * One couldn't come
    * One came on the bus
    * The other missed the tube
Donor joke, The s**... bank

Amusing & Witty Donor Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about donor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blood donation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make donor pranks.

A man who recently lost his eye goes into the doctor...

Patient: "Doctor, is there anything we can do to replace my eye?"
Doctor: "Well, we could transplant a donor eye.."
Patient: "Really? Would I be able to see again?!"
Doctor: "No, but it's just for looks anyway!"

Blood Types

Watching 'Archer' and the topic of blood types came up. Conversation was as followed:
Friend: "Which blood type is the universal donor?"
Me: "O negative"
Friend: "Which is the universal receiver?"
Me: "Your mom."
*Hilarity ensued*

What did the doctor say about the o**... donor which died from a clotted artery?

"at least his death wasn't in vein"

I think my o**... donor girlfriend wants to break up with me.

She just doesn't have the guts to do it.

You hear in his will Prince left a bunch of large musical instruments to churches?

Turns out he was *a big o**... donor.*

I carry a donor card, but I haven't signed it...

...cause I want somebody else to be able to use it after I have died

A registered o**... donor passed away. His body was sent to Amazon Prime...

Because they de-liver for free.

My brother was telling me about the o**... donor scheme

I thought "there's a man after my own heart."

My dad recently suggested I get an o**... donor card...

He's a man after my own heart.

my dad asked me if I have an o**... donor card.

i guess he really is a man after my own heart.

Why do people hesitate before registering as an o**... donor?

It takes guts.

I was driving home today and got stuck behind a car with a bumper sticker that said "Be an o**... donor!"...

They were doing 20 in a 30.
I guess they aren't feeling that committed to the cause.

My narcissistic friend just became an o**... donor...

because "who wouldn't want a piece of this body?"

I wonder if george michael was a o**... donor

So he could really give his heart to someone special this Christmas.

Hopefully George Michael was an o**... donor...

... so on his last Christmas he gave someone his heart

My dad has suggested that I register to be an o**... donor....

I guess he is a man after my own heart.

Did you hear about the registered donor who had a car c**... on the Golden Gate Bridge?

He left his heart in San Francisco.

I officially became an o**... donor...

Now does anyone need a 1970s brown electric o**...? It's been sitting in my living room for a long time.

A 5 year old boy was in kidney failure.

Dad: "Son, I'm sorry, but your kidneys aren't working anymore."
Son: "it's gonna be fine, dad."
Dad: "I know...we can start dialysis and get you on the donor list."
Son: "I was actually thinking about just asking for my adult knees early."

The person at the drivers license office asked me if I wanted to be an o**... donor.

I said sure, and I hope my Wurlitzer goes to a good cause.

My dad said I should get an o**... donor card

He's a man after my own heart

My friend asked me why i didn't sign my o**... donor card

I want somebody else to be able to use it after I have died.

Its pretty hard to stay positive...

My grandfather recently died from blood loss. We might have found a donor for his blood type. But nobody knew it. He kept shouting "Be Positive!"
But it was pretty hard to be positive at the time...

The pretty lady at the DMV urged me to sign up to be an o**... donor.

That's when I realized she was a girl after my own heart!

what do you call a cyclist without a helmet?

an o**... donor.

Did you hear about the girl who accidentally put her donor card in the ATM machine?

It cost her an arm and a leg!

I was an o**... donor for my ex-girlfriend

When we broke up she took a piece of me with her

They always say 1 o**... Donor will save 8 lives ...

*shouldn't it be 7?*

Abandoned slogan: Become an o**... donor...

...What have you got to lose?

A doctor asked the patient if he would like to be a donor.

The patient said, "Yes, but only donate my organs to my enemies."
"Why?" asked the doctor.
"Because they really hate my guts."

They say looks don't matter, it's what's in the inside that counts...

If you're looking for a o**... donor.

Meanwhile at the s**... Donor Bank

A guy walks into a s**... donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun.
He goes up to the nurse and demands for her to open the s**... bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a s**... bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies.
So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the s**... samples. The guy says "Take one of those s**... samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are s**... samples???" , "DO IT!".
So the nurse s**... it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well.
Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard is it ?."

My job as an o**... donor

Is literally killing me.

At the annual s**... donor conference, the president takes the mic and says

Good morning and thank for coming, everyone

Are you an o**... donor?

Or an o**... don'tor?

o**... donation study reaches same conclusions as earlier study on GMO's

Studies have shown a strong correlation between the s**... identity of patients and whether they're able to accept various different donor organs. In particular, the bodies of aggressively heterosexual patients tend to reject donor organs.
As with studies earlier this year on genetically modified crops, researchers concluded from this data that straight men don't like trans plants.

Blood donor

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. When I drew his blood, there was a little squirt of blood and it surprised him. I looked him deeply in the eyes and told him, you're bleeding because you don't floss

It takes guts... be an o**... donor.

Lung cancer has done a real number on me; I don't have long left. Doc said he's going to get me a donor lung..

…but I'm not holding my breath.

The plastic surgeon

A plastic surgeon walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've been wondering... Can you successfully transfer a skin graft off one person's b**... to another person who isn't related to the donor?" the bartender asks. "a**... skin for a friend."

My wife is currently giving away 30% of her liver (living liver donor transplant)….

We met with the surgeon right before she went back to the operating room and I told him I really hope you De-Liver
True story! (yes he thought I was s**... 😂)

I can't be in the national o**... donor program.

I just don't have the guts.

Someone called me trash, but joke is on them.

I'm an o**... donor, I'm recyclable.

Donor joke, I wanted to become a professional sperm donor

jokes about donor