Donation Jokes
131 donation jokes and hilarious donation puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about donation that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Grab a laugh from donation jokes to lighten the mood when discussing substantial and generous donations. Whether its blood donation, organ donation, plasma donation, twitch donation, or charity donation, these jokes about kidney donation, sperm donation, and more will give you a great chuckle.
Quick Jump To
- Short Donation Jokes
- Donation One Liners
- Blood Donation Jokes
- Charity Donation Jokes
- Kidney Donation Jokes
- Sperm Donation Jokes
- Organ Donation Jokes
- More Donation Jokes
Funniest Donation Short Jokes
Short donation jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The donation humour may include short donate jokes also.
- I was going to donate blood today, but they always ask waaaay too many personal questions Like, "who's blood is this", and "where did you get it?"
- When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
- A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood The nurse asks, what's your blood type?
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O" - My grandpa warned people the titanic would sink and no one listened. He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.
- I won $3 million on the lottery this weekend so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75.
- I was going to donate blood today but they started asking way too many personal questions like... Whose blood is this?!"
Where did you get it?!" - When I die I'm going to donate my body to science. That's the only way I'll ever get into medical school.
- Today I donated a laptop, a smartphone and $500 to a poor guy. Can't express the happiness I got when I saw him putting the knife back in his pocket
- A priest, a pastor and a rabbit walk in to a blood donation clinic The nurse asked the rabbit, What's your blood type?
I'm probably a type-O said the rabbit. - Oh, sure. My friend donates a kidney to the City Hospital, and he's treated like some hero. I donate five kidneys and I get arrested.
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Donation One Liners
Which donation one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with donation? I can suggest the ones about donor and giving.
- I donated $10 to Bernie's campaign Don't worry ladies, I also donated $7.80 to Hilary.
- Where do atheists donate their money? Non Prophet Organizations
- Someone donates one kidney and is hailed as a hero. I donate five, and get arrested?
- How can you donate money to Taliban? Just pay your taxes in United States
- The last time I was someone's type. I was donating blood.
- My motto in life is to always give 100% It does make blood donation quite tricky.
- I'm thinking of donating my body to science It's taking up too much space in the freezer.
- Please donate to atheism.org Don't worry, it's a non-prophet organisation.
- Whatever you do, always give 100% Unless you're donating blood
- What bounces and makes little children cry? My donation check to Feed the Children!
- I donated my old basketball hoop to the school for the blind. It will be missed.
- I donated $100 to a charity for blind children Not like the kids will ever see any of it.
- What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry? My donation check to the orphanage.
- I made a bold donation today Sorry, I meant "blood donation". Type O.
- Uncle Bill always gave 100% Son: How did he die Dad?
Dad: He donated blood.
Blood Donation Jokes
Here is a list of funny blood donation jokes and even better blood donation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I donate my O- blood as often as allowed, but I don't do it to help others. The blood donation center is just the only place I can go where I'm everyone's type.
- I wish I could donate blood, but last time there were so many questions. "Whose blood is this?"
"Where did you get it?"
"Was the bucket sanitized first?" - Well I was going to donate blood today until.... the lady got all personal and started asking, "Who's blood is this?" and "How did you get it?"
- I absolutely hate donating blood. As soon as you walk through the door you get bombarded with questions. I absolutely hate when they ask
Where did you get it?
Why is it in a bucket? - I've always hated donating blood. They always ask way too many questions. Like, "Where did you get the blood" or "Whose blood is this". Like come on, I'm donating just be grateful.
- I'm never donating blood again. So many questions. "where did you get this blood from?", "whose blood is it?", "why is it in a bucket?".
- what type of blood do ghosts donate? plasma
- I tried to donate blood to the Red Cross the other day... ...but they wouldn't accept it in a 5 gallon bucket.
They also said it had to be mine. - The last time i was someone's type ... was when i donated blood
- I always give 100% in everything I do Donating blood now, can't wait to add this to the list of thi
Charity Donation Jokes
Here is a list of funny charity donation jokes and even better charity donation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Never give a donation to someone collecting for a charity marathon. They'll take the money and run.
- I won $10,000,000 in the lottery and donated a quarter to charity Now I have $9,999,999.75!
- I won $3,000,000 from a lottery and donated one quarter of it to charity Now I have $2,999,999.75
- I asked a road-kill removal specialist if he would donate to my charity. He said he might be able to scrape together a few bucks.
- I won $3 Million and decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. Now I have $2,999,999.75
- If I won the Mega Millions valued at 750 million today, I would donate a quarter to charity. Not sure what I would do with the other 749,999,999.75 dollars though.
- How to make a charity 1. find someone in need
2. Create an organization and donate all revenue to said someone
3. ???
4. nonprofit - I won 1 Million in a lottery and decided to donate a quater to charity Now I have $999,999.75
- Was solicited by a charity to donate my used clothing to starving people around the world. I said No Way!! Anyone that could fit into my clothing, is NOT starving!!
- Bill Gates has now donated enough money to charity that he lost his billionaire status. He now goes by Mill Gates.
Kidney Donation Jokes
Here is a list of funny kidney donation jokes and even better kidney donation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I honestly hate how a person who donates 1 kidney is considered a hero... I donated 4 and I'm somehow a criminal
- I donate 1 kidney to a hospital and everyone thinks I am a hero
I donate 10 kidneys and everyone thinks I am a monster - So when I donate a kidney I'm hailed as a hero, but when I donate 20 kidneys I get arrested? Make up your mind hospitals!
- Why can a teacher donate her adult-sized kidney to save a student? Because it's a kidney, not an adultney.
- Donate one kidney, they call you a hero. Donate two, they call you a saint. But donate three or more, and suddenly you're a monster.
- When I donated a kidney, they said I was a hero. But when I donated 7 more, they seemed a lot less appreciative.
- A guy donated a kidney and they called him a "Hero".. I donated 7 and they called me a monster
- If a person donates a kidney, he's a hero But when I donate 5, I get arrested.
- If someone donates their kidney, they get praised for their selflessness... But if I donate five, I get arrested?
- I donated a kidney once but they turned it down when I couldn't answer where I got it from.
Sperm Donation Jokes
Here is a list of funny sperm donation jokes and even better sperm donation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Me: When i donate blood i do not extract it myself. A nurse does it for me Receptionist: Yes, but this is a s**... bank and it doesn't work that way.
- Why are s**... donations more expensive than blood donations? They are hand made
- TIL s**... donors are paid $50 per donation. It was devastating. Imagine all the money that has slipped through my fingers.
- "When I donate blood, I don't extract it myself..." "... the nurse does it for me."
"I understand stand sir, but this is a s**... bank, it doesn't work that way here." - I read that donations to s**... banks have dropped dramatically... It's probably because, these days, most men do their banking online...
- I didn't know you could get paid for donating s**.... When I think of all the money I've let slip through my fingers...
- When the nurse declined his request... He simply said
**"When I donate blood I don't extract it, the nurse does"**
And walked out of the s**... bank. - Why is s**... donations are more valued than blood donations? Because they're hand-made
- Man: Why do I have to do it myself? I've donated blood before and a nurse draws it. Receptionist: Yes sir, but this is a s**... bank, it doesn't work like that here.
- Why do s**... donations cost more than blood ones? Because they are done by hand.
Organ Donation Jokes
Here is a list of funny organ donation jokes and even better organ donation puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do you guys wanna donate to my charity? It's a non profit organization called "Caw Caw Caw Caw"
It's four good caws - A doctor asked the patient if he would like to be a donor. The patient said, "Yes, but only donate my organs to my enemies."
"Why?" asked the doctor.
"Because they really hate my guts." - Doctor: "Have you ever thought of donating organs after your death?" Man: " Yeah, I will donate my brain"
Doctor: "Good, all tiny bits help" - I am eternally grateful to whoever donated organs for my surgery... I'll always hold a little piece of them close to my heart.
- Why are o**... donations low ? Because most people have pianos
- o**... donation has a n**... double standard when it comes to praise. Some guy donates his kidney, he's praised as a hero. I donate 5, and I get arrested? Double standards smh
- Imo everyone should consider o**... donation Ahhh actually I've had a change of heart
- How does a blond lose weight? She donates an o**....
- They say looks don't matter and it's what's in the inside that counts. If someone needs an o**... donation.
- What happened when Morgan Freeman donated his kidney? He became an o**... free man.
Comical & Quirky Donation Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about donation you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean charity jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make donation pranks.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You can't imagine the happiness I felt as I saw him put his p**... back in his pocket.
Long John Silver just donated us one of his crew members.
Thanks for the stranger kind Silver!
There was a Jewish businessman
There was a Jewish businessman who was almost late at an important business meeting where punctuality was highly priced. But there were no empty parking spots around and the time was running. He looked to the sky and prayed: "Dear God, give me a parking spot now and I will donate 100 thousand to the synagogue!" Suddenly, a car left exactly in front of him. Relieved, the guy looked again at the sky and said: "It's okay, forget it, I got one."
My only form of income is donating blood
It's s**... the life out of me
Today I donated a watch...
Today I donated a watch and $500 dollars to a poor guy. You don't know the happiness I felt as I saw him put back his knife in his pocket.
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I'd like to donate.
Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That's much easier.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
I just donated all your toys to the orphanage
Dad : I just donated all your toys to the orphanage
Son: Why?
Dad: So you'll have something to play with when i take you there.
A man is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC.
The traffic is stopped for miles ahead.
Another man walks up next to him and says, "Sir, terrorists have kidnapped every member of congress. If they don't get $100,000,000 in ransom, they will to cover them in gasoline and burn them. I'm here to collect donations."
The man asks, "how much do most people donate?"
"About a gallon."
My wife was cleaning the closet last week
Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing, I think I should donate them
Me: Just throw them in trash, that's much easier
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes
Me: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
BANG@#$%^&*
Wife tells her husband
Wife: "I got a bag full of clothes i don't wear anymore. I want to donate them."
Husband: "Why do you want to donate them? Just throw them away."
Wife: "There are poor starving people, who might need some clothes that weren't worn a lot."
Husband: "Women who fit in your clothes are not starving."
My wife gave me a bag of our children's old clothes
And asked me donate them to kids that don't have any.
So I went around town asking people where I can find kids without any clothes and for some reason I ended up detained...
Today, I decided to donate all my worldly possessions and give myself up to Jesus
It's pretty hard to say no to a Mexican dude with a knife.
Wife: I have a bag full of dirty & used clothing I'd like to donate....!
Husband: Why not just throw these in the trash? That's much easier for you.
Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes with basket full satisfaction.
Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving.
When Bill Gates donates 30% of his net worth
He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.
A man and a woman are chatting in an elevator.
"What are you up to today?" he asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $20 a pint."
"Hmm ...," the man, says. "I'm going up to donate s**..., and the s**... bank pays $100 a tablespoon."
The woman gets a strange look on her face and gets off the elevator.
The next day, they meet in the elevator again.
The man asks, "So, where you off to today?"
"Fmerm mank," she says, with her mouth full.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $300 to a poor guy.
You wouldn't believe the immense happiness and relief I felt as he slid the p**... back into his waistband.
To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.
I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....
How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?
I tried donating blood today. Never again!!
Too many s**... questions. Whose blood is it? Where did you get it from?? Why is it in a bucket???
A police officer pulls a man over
"Licence and registration!" - the police officer says.
"Certainly, officer!", replies the civilian.
"Do you know why I pulled you over?", asks the officer.
The civilian replies: "I assume you are collecting donations for the policemans' ball."
"Sir, the police doesn't have b**....", the officer says.
There is a moment of silence, and then the officer just hands the civilian his documentation, goes back to his car and drives away.
A priest, a monk, and a rabbit walk in a bar. As they approach the bar, they see a blood donation booth. The rabbit hops to the nurse to be the first to donate. The nurse looks at him and ask: What's your blood group?
The rabbit says: "I dunno, I think I might be a Type-O."
A old man as a pet mongoose who gives birth.
Deciding he can't look after the mongoose and the pup he decides to donate them to the zoo and writes a letter to explain.
Dear zoo,
I would like to donate two ~~mongooses~~ ~~mongeeses~~ ~~mongi~~
.
.
.
Dear zoo,
I would like to donate one mongoose.
PS here is another.
Putin is held hostage by a t**....
A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. He sees a policeman walking down the line of stopped cars to briefly talk to the drivers. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truckdriver rolls down his window and asks:
Driver: What's going on?
Policeman: A t**... is holding Putin hostage in a car. He's demanding 10 mill rubles, or he'll douse Putin in petrol and set him on fire. So we're asking drivers for donations.
Driver: Oh, ok. How much do people donate on average.
Policeman: About a gallon.
A priest, a minister, and a rabbit go to donate blood at their local bloodbank.
When the arrive they are asked what bloodtypes they have.
The priest thinks and says I believe I am a type A positive
The minister says I'm quite certain I'm a type B negative
The rabbit tugs on his beard and thoughtfully says I think I'm a type O
A girl knocked on my door today…
Asking for a donation for the local swimming pool…. so I gave her a glass of water
A priest, a pastor and a rabbit are in a car wreck
They are rushed to the hospital where it becomes clear that the priest and the pastor will need blood to survive. The priest has blood type A, while the pastor has type B. By the grace of God they are saved, as type Os can donate to both.
I tried donating two classic board games to a thrift store, but they said they could only take one. I asked which one they wanted and they said...
Sorry. We don't want any Trouble.
Oh No! Not ELON!
Man is driving along the freeway when he is stopped by a huge traffic jam.
After sitting there for quite a long time, he sees another man walking from car-to-car.
The second man finally gets up to his car. He rolls down the window....
"Hey man, what's going on up ahead?"
"It's awful! Terrorists have stopped Elon Musk's limo! They are saying if they don't get $10 million dollars, they are going to burn him alive! So, I'm out here collecting donations."
"That's terrible! How much have you collected so far?"
"Ten gallons. But everyone else is still siphoning...."
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked the rabbit, What's your bloood type?
I'm a typo O , said the rabbit.
Yesterday I donated my phone, wallet and watch to a poor guy...
You can't imagine the happiness that I felt as I saw him putting the gun back in his pocket.
A Sunday school teacher posed a question to her class, "If I were to sell my house, car, donate my possessions to charity, and give all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"
The children unanimously replied, "No."
The teacher then asked, "If I were to keep the church clean, mow the lawn, and keep everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"
Once again, the answer was a resounding "No."
Apparently perplexed, the teacher asked, "Well, then how can I get into heaven?"
A quick-witted five-year-old boy piped up and replied, "You have to be dead!"
Wife: "I have a lot of my own clothes I'd like to donate."
Husband: "Why bother? It's easier to throw the clothes in the garbage can."
Wife: "Don't be selfish! There are so many poor people who have no clothes and are starving."
Husband: " Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving..."
