The Best 45 Donations Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Donations jokes. There are some donations substantial jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these donations lawyer donation puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Donations Jokes and Puns

What kind of lingerie attracts the most donations for cam girls?

White knighties.

Three Priest are deciding what to do with the church donations for the week

One priest suggests that they draw a circle, throw all the money in tha air and whatever lands inside the circle they give to God. The second priest suggests that they draw a circle, throw the money in the air, and whatever lands outside of the circle they give to God. The third priest suggests that they simply throw the money into the air, and whatever God wants he takes.

I hate it when people bother me...

I'm tired of people ringing my doorbell at all hours of the day and night, asking for donations. This morning it was some woman from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful!

Donations joke, I hate it when people bother me...

A lady came to my door the other day, asking for donations to my local sperm bank..

I gave her a right mouthful.

Terrorists on Capital Hill

I was driving along Pennsylvania Ave earlier today and there was a huge traffic jam. "What's going on?" I asked a guy walking by.

"Terrorists have taken over Capital Hill and they are threatening to burn the entire place down with all of the Congressmen in it if they don't get million dollars. I'm going around collecting donations."

"How much are people giving on average?"

"About a gallon."

Why are organ donations low ?

Because most people have pianos

How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one really, but be prepared to spend about $8 million USD in "Campaign Donations" if you ever want one to care about somebody else's problem

Donations joke, How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Where do Christian donations go?

God only knows.


Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations
for a community swimming pool."
Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water."

Pool donations, what is up with that?

One day this guy came up to my front door asking for donations to the local pool, I told him I would be right back. I came back and handed him a glass a water.

Some people came to my door asking for donations to the local pool.

So I went and poured them a glass of water.

You can explore donations donation reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean donations philanthropist dad jokes. There are also donations puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

So Double Fine is crowdfunding a sequel and asking for donations

You'd have to be a psycho not to!

Today a man came to my door asking for donations for the local swimming pool.

I gave him a glass of water.

Why were there so many Hawaiian lei's at the funeral?

the obituary read "Please send donations in luau flowers."

The GOP gets kidnapped

The kidnappers demand the ransom of 500M USD or they will douse them in gas and light them on fire.

So there were people in the streets collecting donations, and they asked me at an intersection

"You must have heard the news recently. Could you spare a little to help us out in this initiative?"

"How much is everyone giving on average?"

"About a gallon, give or take"

Why don't crabs give charitable donations?

Because they're shellfish.

Donations joke, Why don't crabs give charitable donations?

A man is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC.

The traffic is stopped for miles ahead.
Another man walks up next to him and says, "Sir, terrorists have kidnapped every member of congress. If they don't get $100,000,000 in ransom, they will to cover them in gasoline and burn them. I'm here to collect donations."
The man asks, "how much do most people donate?"
"About a gallon."

I named my daughter charity.

She gets a lot of donations from many men.

A guy came to my house yesterday asking for donations for a new swimming pool

So I gave him a glass of water.

Why is sperm donations are more valued than blood donations?

Because they're hand-made

I read that donations to sperm banks have dropped dramatically...

It's probably because, these days, most men do their banking online...

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the road

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks,"What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped all the politicians , and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom.
Otherwise, they're going to douse them all in petrol and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, collecting donations".

"How much is everyone giving, on an average?" the driver asks...

The man replies, "Roughly 2 litres."

What does the charity run by cats do with their donations?

Help out the kneady.

A man stucks in a traffic jam in US

He sees a foreign man is coming towards him. Foreign man comes and says:

– Terrorists captured Trump, we are collecting donations. If $10.000.000 hasn't given in 1 hour, they will burn him with gasoline.

– How much people donate usually?

– Around 5 gallons.

Paul: A man came by my house today asking for donations for the new town swimming pool.

Anton: How much did you give him?

Paul: One glass.

Why do sperm donations cost more than blood ones?

Because they are done by hand.

When Bill Gates donates 30% of his net worth

He is praised as a generous hero, But when I do it people tell me they don't accept donations under a dollar.

A huge earthquake shook Mexico

Around 3000 people died.
The world combined efforts to help Mexico during these hard times.
England gave medicine.
France sent food.
Germany made huge donations.
USA sent 3000 Mexicans to replenish the stock

I make donations to help bring vermin the flotation devices they desperately need.

Support your local buoys and squirrels club!

TIFU: gave day an hour.

Now it's opened a daylight savings account and expects yearly donations.

Money doesn't buy happiness

But I'm taking donations to test it.

More than half of $2.6bn (Β£1.9bn) in donations made at a special one-day conference to ease the humanitarian crisis in Yemen were pledged by countries that are either fighting in the civil war or selling arms to those undertaking the fighting.

When life gives you Yemen, you give Yemen aid.

I recently started working for a charity that convinces local supermarkets to give us their expiring baked goods to donate to refugees and the local homeless. We're working in conjunction with local churches to help distribute donations. All of us are there voluntarily, after all..

It's a naan-prophet organization.

I used to be poor. Then I started singing on streets for donations.

Now I get donations to not sing on streets

If grass is to cows what fish is to cats, then what are donations to twitch cam girls?

Food for thot.

Why are sperm donations more expensive than blood donations?

They are hand made

A tired mom opened the front door of her home to find a young minister from the neighborhood

Who said, "I'm collecting donations for the new children's home we're building. I hope you'll give what you can."
The beleaguered woman said, "I'll give you two boys, two girls, or one of each."

How does the Vatican want you to send donations?


How do you milk a sheep?

Pretend you didn't lose an election and ask for donations.

I raised money for charity by dressing up as Cruella De Ville.

I had 101 donations.

A police officer pulls a man over

"Licence and registration!" - the police officer says.

"Certainly, officer!", replies the civilian.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?", asks the officer.

The civilian replies: "I assume you are collecting donations for the policemans' ball."

"Sir, the police doesn't have balls.", the officer says.

There is a moment of silence, and then the officer just hands the civilian his documentation, goes back to his car and drives away.

Why is it always crowded in a sperm bank?

Because people are paid to come.
Why'd you think sperm donations are really expensive, because they're handmade
But Its hardwork tho, it takes alo of balls to do it, whatever you thing you on regular that's nutting.


A man was sitting at a bar, morosely staring at his untouched beer. The bartender walked over and asked, "What's the problem, pal?" "My brother just told me there's a sperm bank in his neighborhood that pays $50 for a donation." "Yeah, so?"

"Don't you realize?" the man cried. "I've let a fortune slip through my fingers!"

A guy came around asking for donations to the local swimming pool

I gave him a glass of water.

My friend really wanted a swimming pool

He's asking us for donations to help achieve his dream.

So I gave him a bottle of water.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the donations benefactor jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working donations gallons piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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