Following is our collection of funny Donald Trumps jokes. There are some donald trumps jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these donald trumps puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
"Mister President, we've been over this..."
One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
Trump says, Are you stupid? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you retarded?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.
Denial.
But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.
But that's comparing apples to oranges.
He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."
The United States of America.
That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.
You can explore donald trumps reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean donald trumps dad jokes. There are also donald trumps puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.
People would look over their shoulder, see that is was Donald Trump behind them, and leave the queue, so he would proceed closer and closer to the front.
As he was getting closer to the head of the queue, he asked one guy, who also looked and was about to walk away, "Wait a second, what is this queue for and why are you now leaving it?"
The man said "This is the queue for Canadian Immigration Visas, but if you are getting one, I don't need one now."
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
A bird can still tweet.
Apparently nobody else can make America go downhill faster.
The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.
Donald looks down on the cities below and says "I think I'll throw a 1000$ bill out of the window and make some american happy. Melanie says "Oh honey why not throw 10 100$ bills and make 10 americans happy?"
So then Ivanka says "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out of the window and make 100 americans happy?" To that the pilot says " Why dont you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
The first person the grab a parachute is Brad Pitt and as he reachs for the door he says, "My family and my fans need me surely you will understand.", off he goes.
The next person to grab one is Donald Trump:
"Im the most intellegent president this nation ever saw i will do great things to this country" and he jumps out.
Left in the plane is an old man and a young school boy.
"Go on take the last one", the old man said, "I lived a long and fulfilled life." Hearing that the school boy answered calmly, "Don't worry, we'll both be okay. Our most intelligent President yet just took my backpack."
After all, its not like Donald Trump could write a book.
They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, The world needs a great person like me!
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, I need to help make choices for our world , so he jumps off the plane.
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.
The Pope says to the boy, take the last parachute, I am too old and I'm going to die soon one day.
Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.
He replied,"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."
Trump 20:16
George Washington couldn't tell a lie.
Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth.
Donald Trump can't tell the difference
As he was wandering around taking a look, the clerk asked if he could help the man find anything.
Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. immigration policy regarding Muslims and illegal aliens?
The clerk said, Kiss my ass… get out… and stay out!
The man said, Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?
Turns out there was just a loud whine coming from the right wing.
I did and we do.
Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout "Donald, duck"
But apparently not 2 terms.
The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."
Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"
...Police say it's impossible to tell if the act was committed by Trump's opponents or supporters.
That is the joke. There's no punchline here.
So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.
...he never lets anybody finish a sentence.
but then I realized that I'm comparing apples to oranges
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the donald trumps jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working donald trumps piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.