Donal Jokes

Following is our collection of daisy humor and counter one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Donal puns for adults, dirty duck jokes or clean told gags for kids.

There is an abundance of asked jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 53 funniest jokes on donal. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sinead witze you can hear about donal.

The Best jokes about Donal

If Donald Trump, Rudy Giuliani, Bill Barr, Stephen Miller, and Jared Kushner we're on Air Force One together and the plane were to suddenly crash, who would survive?

The United States of America.

Donald Trump has decided to take just $1 as his salary for the job of the President instead of the usual 400,000.

That man would do just about anything to avoid paying the taxes.

What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common?

They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.

Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid.

The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!

Donald Trump is the next President but...

The biggest winner is Melania Trump. She can now call herself The First Lady instead of The Third Wife.


Donald Trump was asked if he could quote any Bible verses.

He replied,"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."

Trump 20:16

Donald Trump said if I voted for Hillary Clinton I'd have a President constantly under Federal investigation.

I did and we do.

Why does Donald Trump secretly want to lose the election?

Because if he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"

The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."

Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"

The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"

I want Donald Trump to be my parole officer...

...he never lets anybody finish a sentence.

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.


Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work.

The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.

Donald Trump gets executed

and is hanged by the neck until dead.
At Trump Tower, his family watches CNN, which is covering his death live, all of them mournful and teary before Donald himself walks in triumphantly.

"But Donald, CNN says you were killed!" Ivanka cried.

"Nope!" Donnie beamed, holding up the rope that was used to hang him, "fake noose."

Donald Trump has announced that he plans to extend his wall across the oceans...

This news came after he discovered that a man named Jesus managed to walk on water.

Donald Trump said in an interview that he would consider killing himself if he ever had Alzheimer's Disease.

Sadly, the interviewer didn't have the presence of mind to say, "I know. You've said that already."

How is Donald Trump like a jack-o-lantern?

They are both orange, round and should be thrown out in early November.

Say what you like about Donald Trump..

But he's doing more than anyone else in the world to stop Donald Trump from being elected president.

Donald Trump walks into a bar

......
and set it lower

Donald Trump says to Mike Pence, "The less immigrants we allow in, the better."

Pence says, "The fewer".

Trump says, "I told you not to call me that yet."


Donald Trump's presidency is already positively affecting the economy.

Alcohol sales have never been higher.

Donald Trump is like a marshmallow...

He's easy to roast, a little orange on top, catches fire easily, and will melt down when he gets under too much heat.

Why would Donald Trump run into an active school shooting, even if unarmed?

Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him

Donald Trump said, "I declare April as Sexual Assault Awareness month."

His aide said, "So what do think are some good ways to prevent it?"

Trump replied, "Prevent it?"

Now that Donald Trump is actually building the wall, I hear Mexicans are depressed

I'm sure they'll soon get over it

So Donald Trump wants to be president and move into the white house. Why not?

It wouldn't be the first time he pushed a black family out of their home.

 

 

*credits to Snoop Dogg @ Donald Trump roast*

Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins?

Society

Donald Trump is standing in the gallows...

The executioner is fitting the rope around his neck.

Below the platform are all the news networks. They are all clamoring for a final statement before the man is hung for his crimes.

Trump simply smiles and shakes his head.

Finally, one question is heard above the roar of the crowd?

"Aren't you worried about dying?" A voice asks.

Trump shrugs his shoulders as he smiles again and shakes his head for the last time.

He replies: "Fake noose."

Donald Trump, Queen Elizabeth II and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.

Satan decides to let each of them to call their own countries, but at a cost. Queen Elizabeth speaks to the U.K Government for 30 minutes and pays 1 million dollars. Vladimir Putin speaks with the Russian Government for an hour and pays 2 million dollars. Donald Trump speaks with the American Government for 2 hours and only pays 300 dollars.

Upon hearing this, Putin went ballistic and demanded that Satan tell him why Donald had to pay so less but get to talk more. Satan answered simply, "Ever since Donald Trump became U.S President, he has turned America into a hell-hole, so it's a local call."

Donald Trump is really a proved racist and sexist, because...

He beat a woman badly in his run for the presidency and threw a black family out of a white house...

Donald Trump is introducing a 30% tax on shredded cheese.

It's part of his plan to Make America Grate Again.

Why does Donald Trump finish nearly every tweet with an exclamation point?

Because he thinks periods are gross.

Donald Trump has done so much good for American education.

Now instead of citing my sources on an English paper, I can just write down, "I know it, you know it, everybody knows it."

If Donald Trump wants Bernie Sanders supporters to stop crashing his rallies,

he should just call them "job fairs."

Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin meet with guests at the White House

One of the guests asks: Mister President, what are you talking about with president Putin? – We are planning World War III.' - 'And what does it look like?' – Trump: We will kill 4 million Muslims and a dentist... The guest looks a bit confused: Why a dentist? - Putin claps Trump on the back and says, What did I tell you, Donald? No one will ask about the Muslims.

Why am I against Donald Trump's wall idea?

It will make fleeing to Mexico more difficult when he ruins our country.

Donald Trump wants to become President

This is not the first time he has tried to kick a black family out of their home.


Credit : Snoop Dogg

Donald Trump and his wife Melania have tested positive for coronavirus.

I didn't realise they were that close!

Now that Donald Trump will be President, I really hope he builds the wall.

We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained.

Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

What is Donald Trump's favorite sports team?

The Dodgers

Donald Trump has tested positive for COVID-19.

Looks like RBG won her first case before God.

A Donald Trump campaign sign was found defaced with a swastika

No one knows if it was done by a supporter or a protester

Why did Donald Trump invite Kim Kardashian to talk about prison reform?

Because she's had more black dudes in her than a jail.

Donald Trump and Joe Biden are on a plane heading straight towards a volcano. Who survives?

The United States of America.

Why doesn't Donald Trump compare his leadership to Steve Jobs?

Even *he* knows not to compare Apples and oranges.

Donald Trump, a white worker , and a Mexican worker are sitting at a table.

A waiter comes over carrying 10 cookies on a plate. Before the waiter even gets a chance to set the plate on the table, Donald Trump reaches over and takes 9 cookies and stuffs them in his pocket. He then leans over to the white worker and says "watch out, that rapist is looking at your cookie."

Donald Trump is receiving a CoViD-19 briefing in the Oval Office.

The head of the CDC tells the president that today 14 Brazilian people have died from the virus.

Trump shouts Oh my GOD! and slams his head down in his hands on the Resolute Desk. He begins to weep.

After a minute or so, he collects himself, looks up from his desk, and asks his advisors, How many is a 'brazillion?'

If Donald Trump had really wanted Hillary Clinton locked up, he should have just…

…given her a job on his campaign team…

If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are together on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sinks, who survives?

America.

Donald Trump and his two bodyguards are on a crashing airplane. There are only two parachutes.

Trump declares "I am the President of the United States and also the smartest one. It's unbelievable." He grabs a parachute and jumps.

One of the bodyguards says "Hey, man, you have a wife and kids. Take the parachute."

The other replies "There are enough parachutes for both of us, Tim. Mr Trump took my knapsack."

Donald Trump took Pope Francis for an afternoon on his yacht...

While they were out to sea, the Pope's hat blew off his head and into the water. While everyone ran frantically, Trump stood up and said "Hang on. I've got this"

Miraculously he walked to the platform level with the water, and continued walking across the top of the water, picked up the popes hat and walked back and returned it to him. Everyone was stunned at this they couldn't believe what they just saw!

The following morning CNN reported:

"Breaking: Donald Trump can't swim!"

So donald trump went to visit the queen of England the other day...

Donald trump went to visit the queen of England the the other day, he says to her:

I'd like to change the name of the united states to the empire of the united states."

and she says "no I'm sorry sir, for you to have an empire you'd need to be an emperor, and you sir are no emperor."

he says "well how about the kingdom of the united states?"

and she says "no I'm sorry sir, for you to have a kingdom you must be a king, and you sir are no king"

he goes "well what then"

and she says "i think it would be best if you stayed a country

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, The Pope and a small Mexican kid were on a plane

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, The Pope and a small Mexican kid were on a plane, the plane was plummeting and was going to crash into a building.
There were only 3 parachutes. "I'm the greatest man here, I'll take a parachute" said Obama. "I'm the smartest man in here so I'll take a parachute" said Trump. They both grabbed their parachutes and lept out of the plane.
The pope said to the young boy. "Go ahead son, take the parachute". The boy replied "It's alright, the smartest man in the world just took my school bag."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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