The Best 27 Dominatrix Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dominatrix jokes. There are some dominatrix fetishist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dominatrix eng puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dominatrix Jokes and Puns

A guy visits his favorite dominatrix

He puts his money on the bedside table and says I've been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.

She makes him strip and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.

She runs her whip over his flesh and, as he wriggles in anticipation, the bed posts break and his arms come free.

Don't worry, I can fix this he says, as he runs out to his car. He returns in a few minutes with some tools and gets to work.
In a few minutes the bedposts are fixed.
He looks admiringly at his handiwork and beams.
Good as new, mistress!

She says This sub really loves reposts.

A taste of what my wife has to deal with

My wife was stepping on my back and she suddenly asked "How do dominatrixs not kill people when they do this with stilettos. Do they have to get certified or classes?"

I told her "The only certification for dominatrix is a master's degree"

Top tier groan in response.

My tinder date invited me back to her house tonight, and while she was in the bathroom, I had a cheeky look in her wardrobe. Inside, there was a nurse outfit, a police woman's uniform and a full dominatrix bodysuit, so I quickly pulled on my pants and snuck out of there.

I don't want a girlfriend who can't hold down a job.

Dominatrix joke, My tinder date invited me back to her house tonight, and while she was in the bathroom, I had a chee

I just emailed off my application for Dominatrix Club.

They replied almost straight away, thanking me for my submission.

I met a furry dominatrix with an amazing sound system

You wouldn't believe how many sub woofers she has.


Why do dominatrixes get so much beauty rest

They just love to hit the sack

What did the dominatrix say after she spanked the wrong slave?

Whoops, wrong sub

Dominatrix joke, What did the dominatrix say after she spanked the wrong slave?

My dominatrix is busy training a new assistant...

I guess she's showing her the ropes.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just emailed in my application form for a dominatrix club..." he tells the bartender.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I just emailed in my application form for a dominatrix club..." he tells the bartender. "What happened?" the bartender asks. "I got an instant reply thanking me for my submission."

What is the spirit animal of a dominatrix?

Pegasus.

My girlfriend is off out to buy a dominatrix outfit on Saturday.

Although she prefers to call it a wedding dress.

You can explore dominatrix lace reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dominatrix slave dad jokes. There are also dominatrix puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did the dominatrix join the submarine crew?

...She's just got a thing for subs.

"Hey, did you end up going to that exclusive dominatrix party?"

... oh, I guess that makes senseβ€”most people weren't allowed to come

What do Rick Ross and a dominatrix have in common?

They're both interested in whips and chains.

What does a dominatrix and Indiana Jones have in common?

They both ride on top of subs.

What would both a recovering alchoholic and a dominatrix take as a compliment?

"I'm very impressed with your restraint."

Dominatrix joke, What would both a recovering alchoholic and a dominatrix take as a compliment?

What do you call a potato dominatrix?

A Mashochist.

Im a dominatrix with a side business in toys

I sell pro-pain, and pro-pain accessories

Guys, I just met the hottest woman. She's a Russian dominatrix.

Her name is Ivana Stepanyadick.


Did you hear about the Dominatrix who was also a Bankruptcy Attorney?

All of her customers were strapped for cash

What did the dominatrix say to Dwayne Johnson before they got started?

I'm about to be peoples elbow deep in the rocks bottom.

What does a dominatrix say when she's late?

"Sorry I tied you up"

I'm a dominatrix and I was supposed to be whipping a blonde client...but instead I whipped a brunette...

Whoops - wrong sub...

TIL you can lose your job as a dominatrix by whipping the wrong guy.

Whoops, wrong sub.

My first day as a dominatrix I walked into another dom's chambers

Oops, wrong sub.

How do you know if a dominatrix is racist?

All of her subs are collared people!

What did the quadriplegic mountain climber who always wears a bee-keepers mask say to his dominatrix Sherpa girlfriend?

I can't feel my face when I'm with you.

But I love it.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dominatrix bondage jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dominatrix kickball piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes