The Best 35 Domestic Violence Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Domestic Violence jokes. There are some domestic violence violent crimes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these domestic violence abusers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Domestic Violence Jokes and Puns

If a Muslim beats his wife,

would it be domestic violence or child abuse?

My Dad Is A Magician

He can turn alcohol into domestic violence... But his disappearing act is even better.

If a married couple in the city get in a fight, it's called domestic violence.

In the country it's called sibling rivalry.

I like my beer how I like my violence


For my next trick

I'll turn a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.

A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday

.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Did you hear about the redneck magician?

He turns a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.

If Russia is the Motherland and Germany is the Fatherland...

Does that mean the world wars were two cases of domestic violence?

A group of chronic masturbators have recently started an organization to protect women from domestic violence.

Their slogan is "We only beat ourselves."

My dad is a magician.

He can turn a Bud Light into domestic violence.

I like my vehicles just like my violence


You can explore domestic violence violent reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean domestic violence police brutality dad jokes. There are also domestic violence puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Did you hear about..

Did you hear about the indian man who was charged with domestic violence, he hit his wife on the head every night at 7 on the dot

Pacquiao wanted the fight to take place in the Philippines, but Mayweather insisted on Las Vegas.

I guess he likes his venues just like he likes his violence...Domestic.

When my wife starts to sing....

I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.


When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

I just came from a domestic violence awareness concert...

...headlined by the Black Eyed Peas

I like my beer the same way I like my violence


I've had a good couple of days,

I've just got back from winning the World Domestic Violence Championship.

I knocked my daughter out in the semis and beat my wife in the final.

Yesterday I entered the world blindfolded wanking championship.
I have no idea where I came though.

My dad had this great magic trick he'd show us every night

He'd turn a full bottle of jagermeister into domestic violence

My dad was a magician, but he also was abusive

He liked to turn 12 packs into domestic violence

Met a redneck magician last night..

Told me he could turn a 12 pack into a case of domestic violence

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Domestic violence.

Have you heard about the electric robot from Japan which is supposed to prevent domestic violence?

Batteries included.

There is nothing funny about watching domestic violence

Which is why it goes in the 'Action' folder instead of 'Comedy'

My Australian friend hit a sheep in his car the other day...

...I told him it doesn't matter where it happens, domestic violence is not okay.

When my wife starts to sing

I have to go out in the yard and work in the garden so the neighbors don't think domestic violence is happening.

What happens when you mix Adolf Hitler and domestic violence?

Adolf *Hit-Her*

How many wife- beaters does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. So how come I gotta do everything around here?

(I don't actually condone domestic violence)

More men have been enrolling in domestic violence support groups than ever

If you can't beat em, join em

"We like our beer the way we like our violence..."


-Stolen from a part of a Bill Burr skit. It apparently upset some easily offended people when they saw it at a bar

When I was little my dad always did this one magic trick.

He turned a bottle of bourbon into domestic violence

What happens when strength meets beauty?

Domestic violence

SNL Gold: Domestic Violence

A local county couple had an argument over a jar of salsa, which resulted in the girlfriend stabbing her boyfriend. But hey, you'd be mad too if he was jalpeno business.

Can you imagine how awesome domestic violence would be.....

If EVERYONE knew karate?

If Germany was the Fatherland and the Soviet Union was the Motherland,

does that make WWII domestic violence?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the domestic violence nonviolent jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working domestic violence violence piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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