The Best 60 Domestic Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Domestic jokes. There are some domestic mugs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these domestic domestic violence puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Domestic Jokes and Puns

My Australian friend hit a sheep in his car the other day...

...I told him it doesn't matter where it happens, domestic violence is not okay.

What is one thing...

That Bill Clinton failed at?

*Domestic affairs*

I just came from a domestic violence awareness concert...

...headlined by the Black Eyed Peas

Did you hear about..

Did you hear about the indian man who was charged with domestic violence, he hit his wife on the head every night at 7 on the dot

jokes about domestic

Why did the police arrest the musician who homemade his instruments?

Domestic violins!

What do you say to an officer responding to a domestic disturbance call?

"There's no way I hit her, sir! She isn't black and blue! She's white and gold!"

They are opening a hardware store in Indiana where they will only employ people who have had a difficult childhood being raised in either domestic abuse or foster houses.

It will be called the Broken Home Depot.

Domestic joke, They are opening a hardware store in Indiana where they will only employ people who have had a diffi

"We like our beer the way we like our violence..."


-Stolen from a part of a Bill Burr skit. It apparently upset some easily offended people when they saw it at a bar

Met a redneck magician last night..

Told me he could turn a 12 pack into a case of domestic violence


When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

There is nothing funny about watching domestic violence

Which is why it goes in the 'Action' folder instead of 'Comedy'

You can explore domestic whatnot reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean domestic southerners dad jokes. There are also domestic puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

My Dad Is A Magician

He can turn alcohol into domestic violence... But his disappearing act is even better.

Irish man arrested for domestic abuse

The man has been arrested on the same charge 5 times before.

"Why do you keep beating her Paddy?" asked the police officer.

"Well isn't that obvious you idiot?

It is my height and weight advantage coupled with my superior reach and better footwork!"

Why is there never domestic disputes at a horses house?

Because they are the most stable.

When my wife starts to sing

I have to go out in the yard and work in the garden so the neighbors don't think domestic violence is happening.

For my next trick

I'll turn a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.

Domestic joke, For my next trick

More men have been enrolling in domestic violence support groups than ever

If you can't beat em, join em

Every Husband is a farmer by default.

His survival solely depends on "agree"culture...

"Agree"culture increases the GDP (Gross Domestic Peace).

Not my original. Just heard at a party recently. :)

If a married couple in the city get in a fight, it's called domestic violence.

In the country it's called sibling rivalry.

Why was the Energizer Bunny sent to jail?

Domestic battery

I like my beer how I like my violence


My neighbors called the cops on me, but when the police came to my house all they found was my collection of string instruments.

I got charged with domestic violins.

If a Muslim beats his wife,

would it be domestic violence or child abuse?

I've had a good couple of days,

I've just got back from winning the World Domestic Violence Championship.

I knocked my daughter out in the semis and beat my wife in the final.

Yesterday I entered the world blindfolded wanking championship.
I have no idea where I came though.

There is a country whose main export is spiders...

They have a gross domestic product.

What do you call doing sit-ups in the comfort of your own home?

Domestic ab use.

Domestic joke, What do you call doing sit-ups in the comfort of your own home?

My dad had this great magic trick he'd show us every night

He'd turn a full bottle of jagermeister into domestic violence

October is domestic abuse awareness month...

Time to make your significant other aware....

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Domestic violence.

Why is there no equality in domestic abuse?

Someone always has the upper hand.

A thought about Del Toro's The Shape of Water

The Shape of Water is a story about a woman who falls in love with an otherworldly creature that learns how to communicate, has a funny scene where he interacts with a domestic setting and has magical healing hands. He is also returned to his natural environment, almost dying on the way by a plucky protagonist dodging authority.

However, the protagonist also has a love scene with him.

You could say that this is *BestialE.T.*

A man brings his wife to his first domestic abuse support group

As they sit down, the man beside him leans over and whispers in his ear:

"You hittin' that?"

A group of chronic masturbators have recently started an organization to protect women from domestic violence.

Their slogan is "We only beat ourselves."

Why is it dangerous to have more than one violin in your house?

Because it leads to domestic violins.

(From my 9 year old...)

What do you call domestic abuse overseas?

Abusing a broad

Recent reports show that due to the recent losses on the world cup, England is expiriencing an influx of domestic abuse, but hey... least they're beating someone.

Did you hear about the redneck magician?

He turns a 12 pack of beer into domestic violence.

What do you call it when Thomas the Tank Engine beats his wife?

Domestic Caboose.

What is Scotland's gross domestic product?


2 police officers were called to a domestic abuse,

2 police officers were called to a domestic abuse call. when they got there they had to call for backup. 2 police cars showed up making it 6 officers at the scene,

they called headquarters and spoke to their Captain.

"Captain we have a murder here"

"what happened?"

"a wife shot and killed her husband for walking on her still wet mopped kitchen floor"

"well, have you arrested her yet?"

"Not yet, the kitchen floor is still wet."

If Russia is the Motherland and Germany is the Fatherland...

Does that mean the world wars were two cases of domestic violence?

My dad was a magician, but he also was abusive

He liked to turn 12 packs into domestic violence

I like my vehicles just like my violence


What happens when you mix Adolf Hitler and domestic violence?

Adolf *Hit-Her*

I like my beer the same way I like my violence


A klansmen, a domestic abuser and a murderer walk into a bar...

The bartender asks what'll it be officer?

When my wife starts to sing....

I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.

What's the worst part about domestic abuse jokes?

The punchline

Have you heard about the electric robot from Japan which is supposed to prevent domestic violence?

Batteries included.

I slapped my violin out of anger

I got arrested for domestic violins

what do you call a kid born from incest

gross domestic product

What do you call the byproduct of incest?

Gross Domestic product.

Trump is being informed that Biden is getting congratulated on winning by allies domestic and abroad.

Trump asks How hot is the broad?

What do you call it when a symphony musician hits his wife?

Domestic violins.

My dad is a magician.

He can turn a Bud Light into domestic violence.

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse

>!But I beat her to it.!<

What do plumbers and economists have in common?

They both deal with gross domestic product.

what is a group of domestic abusers called?

a heard.

What do you call a group of domestic abusers?

A Heard.

What's the difference between Martial and Marital?

Whether the violence is domestic.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the domestic barcodes puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working domestic domestic abuse piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes