Dolphins Jokes

What are some Dolphins jokes?

Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)

An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

I find it strange how everyone suddenly cares about straws killing dolphins...

They've been breaking camels' backs for years.

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks

Cost me an arm and a leg!

A Swiss Army Knife is a lot like a pod of dolphins...


Why don't dolphins make mistakes?

They do everything on porpoise.

I thought of this myself, but I'm probably late to the punch.

A new study shows that dolphins are second in intelligence to man...

Guess that puts women in third.

A new study of dolphins was recently performed...

The study showed that within a few weeks in captivity, they were able to teach humans to stand at the edge of their pool and throw fish at them.

I hate dolphins...

...for all intents and porpoises.

I'm setting up a website for single dolphins

Where true love's just a few clicks away

I heard that dolphins have vestigial legs...

It would seem evolution defeeted the porpoise.

Scientists have just announced today that dolphins are second to man in intelligence levels.

So that pushes women down to third place.

What do philosophical dolphins say?

What's the porpoise?

Do dolphins speak Welsh?

Or is it just Wales.

Scientists claim that after man dolphins rank 2nd in intelligence..

After that comes apes, then some species of parrots.

I guess that pushes women down to 5th.

I just finished writing a book on dolphins.

I should have used paper.

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...

could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

I got so angry with poachers illegally killing dolphins that I began randomly implanting some with tiny bombs.

But it just ended up defeating the porpoise.

"Dad, can you help me with my homework?"

"Sure son"

"What are 5 animals that live in the ocean?"

"3 whales and two dolphins"

"Thanks dad"


I once tried driving to Mexico to steal a couple pet dolphins.

But I was arrested for trying to enter the country for illegal porpoises.

In the early 1970s, researchers discovered...

...that a certain enzyme in a specific breed of seagull chicks granted dolphins that ate them a dramatically increased lifespan. Hoping that this could be made viable for humans, they started extensive testing. Unfortunately, the breed of gulls wasn't native to the area around their laboratory.

They sent a research assistant up the coast to gather additional specimens. On his way back with a truckload of the tiny birds, he accidentally struck a cougar in the road. Unfortunately for him, it was (at the time) the state animal, and harming one was a felony.

The poor guy was charged with transporting young gulls across a state lion for immortal porpoises.

TIL Dolphins deliberately get high on the nerve toxins of puffer fish by chewing on them and passing it around

Talk about 'puff puff pass', amirite?

What do you use to clean dolphins and whales?

All porpoise cleaner

You know how dolphins rape a lot?

They do it on porpoise.

Scientists have discovered a way to make dolphins nearly invisible to the human eye.

I don't really see the porpoise.

Why are dolphins so passionate?

Because they have a sense of porpoise.

So scientists have invented a way to turn dolphins nearly invisible

It's pretty neat, but I don't really see the porpoise.

Why are dolphins all friends with each other?

They just click you know?

Dolphins are really clever

In fact, they have trained humans to stand at the edge of the pools and throw fish at them.

I was recently asked why I bought paper with dolphins on them

Because the paper was multi-porpoise.

What did the dolphin say to the frog?

Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.

This joke goes out to all the campers and dolphins in the world.

For all in tents and porpoises, that is.

Did you hear about the college for dolphins?

It was for educational porpoises only.

I tried swimming with dolphins once. I didn't like it.

I found them very cliquey

What do you call a group of dolphins that move according to the moons gravity?

A Tide pod

I never knew how smart Dolphins were...

They are so smart that after only a few weeks of captivity they can train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish

This just in: A recent study has discovered that dolphins and humans are the only two species to have sex for fun.

In unrelated news: All Oklahoma residents are now banned from SeaWorld.

Why was the scientist allowed to use dolphins for his experiments?

Because they were for test porpoise only

What do army ants have in common with masturbating dolphins?

Both come in waves...

What did the gang of dolphins say to the orca?

"Whale, whale, whale... Look what the tide brought in..."

In 1944, a unit of zombie dolphins were deployed by the allies to assist in the invasion of Normandy.

They were named the marine corpse

Why did the aquarium have an existential crisis when the dolphins were released to the wild?

It lost its porpoise.

So, both living in houses and making love with dolphins were just outlawed...

it may be difficult for many, but for all in tents and porpoises, it'll be ok.

I, an Orca, tried to warn my brother countless times.

He just had to eat that family of dolphins in shallow water.

Well, the idiot beached himself.

If I told him once I told him a thousand times.

Don't eat Tide Pods.

How to make Dolphins jokes?

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