dolphins Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious dolphins puns

Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)

An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

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I find it strange how everyone suddenly cares about straws killing dolphins...

They've been breaking camels' backs for years.

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Dolphins are the only creatures that, apart from humans, who enjoy sex

I had to fuck a lot of animals to find out

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Dolphins are the only animals, other than humans, that enjoy sex.

I had to fuck a lot of animals to figure that out.

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If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks

Cost me an arm and a leg!

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A Swiss Army Knife is a lot like a pod of dolphins...

Multi-porpoise!

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Why don't dolphins make mistakes?

They do everything on porpoise.

I thought of this myself, but I'm probably late to the punch.

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A new study shows that dolphins are second in intelligence to man...

Guess that puts women in third.

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A new study of dolphins was recently performed...

The study showed that within a few weeks in captivity, they were able to teach humans to stand at the edge of their pool and throw fish at them.

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I hate dolphins...

...for all intents and porpoises.

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I'm setting up a website for single dolphins

Where true love's just a few clicks away

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I heard that dolphins have vestigial legs...

It would seem evolution defeeted the porpoise.

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Scientists have just announced today that dolphins are second to man in intelligence levels.

So that pushes women down to third place.

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What do philosophical dolphins say?

What's the porpoise?

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Scientists claim that after man dolphins rank 2nd in intelligence..

After that comes apes, then some species of parrots.

I guess that pushes women down to 5th.

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Do dolphins speak Welsh?

Or is it just Wales.

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I just finished writing a book on dolphins.

I should have used paper.

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A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins...

...that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his
supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way
back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting
gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

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I got so angry with poachers illegally killing dolphins that I began randomly implanting some with tiny bombs.

But it just ended up defeating the porpoise.

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I once tried driving to Mexico to steal a couple pet dolphins.

But I was arrested for trying to enter the country for illegal porpoises.

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What do you use to clean dolphins and whales?

All porpoise cleaner

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TIL Dolphins deliberately get high on the nerve toxins of puffer fish by chewing on them and passing it around

Talk about 'puff puff pass', amirite?

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You know how dolphins rape a lot?

They do it on porpoise.

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Why are dolphins so passionate?

Because they have a sense of porpoise.

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So scientists have invented a way to turn dolphins nearly invisible

It's pretty neat, but I don't really see the porpoise.

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Why are dolphins all friends with each other?

They just click you know?

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They say aside from humans, dolphins are the only other mammal that has sex for enjoyment

You have no idea how many things I had to fuck to figure that out.

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Dolphins are really clever

In fact, they have trained humans to stand at the edge of the pools and throw fish at them.

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This joke goes out to all the campers and dolphins in the world.

For all in tents and porpoises, that is.

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What do dolphins use to stay clean?

All-porpoise cleaner.

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Did you hear about the college for dolphins?

It was for educational porpoises only.

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I tried swimming with dolphins once. I didn't like it.

I found them very cliquey

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What did the dolphin say to the frog?

Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.

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What do you call a group of dolphins that move according to the moons gravity?

A Tide pod

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This just in: A recent study has discovered that dolphins and humans are the only two species to have sex for fun.

In unrelated news: All Oklahoma residents are now banned from SeaWorld.

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What are the most funny Dolphins jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Dolphins? Well, here are the best Dolphins dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Dolphins pick up lines to share with friends.

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