dolphin Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious dolphin puns

Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY

That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

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Apart from humans, the only animal that enjoys having sex is a dolphin.

I had to shag a LOT of animals to find that out.

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Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)

An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

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My wife has a whale tattooed on her ass...

It used to be a dolphin.

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having sex for pleasure

Apart from humans, the only creature that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin.

I had to shag a lot of animals to find that out.

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A teacher told her first grade class, "A single dolphin can have two hundred off-spring!"

A little girl gasped, "How about the married ones?"

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Dolphins are the only creatures that, apart from humans, who enjoy sex

I had to fuck a lot of animals to find out

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Dolphins are the only animals, other than humans, that enjoy sex.

I had to fuck a lot of animals to figure that out.

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Why did the fisherman commit suicide when the last dolphin died?

Because his life had no porpoise.

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If your house it hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT AND SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY.

That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

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Why don't dolphins make mistakes?

They do everything on porpoise.

I thought of this myself, but I'm probably late to the punch.

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A dolphin trespassed and took over my pool...

I guess I could drain it, but that would defeat the porpoise.

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I was sitting on my dolphin, then I fell off.

Butt not on porpoise.

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Why was the dolphin sad?

He had no porpoise in life.

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Apart from humans, the only creature that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin...

Do you know how many animals I had to screw to find that out?

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A cop sees a boy in Miami walking down the street alone...

So the cop asks him where he is going. The little boy tells the cop that he is running away because his parents have split up. The cop says, "Come on, get in my car and I'll take you home to your mom."

The little boy cries out, "Oh no, please don't! My mom beats me!"

The cop then says, "Alright, I'll take you to your dad then.

Once again, the little boy refuses, "No, my dad beats me too!"

The cop is at a loss of what to do so he asks the boy, "Alright, well where should I take you then?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and then replies, "Take me to Dolphin Statium, I know they don't beat anybody!"

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Why dont they allow harpoons in dolphin hospitals?

It defeats the porpoise

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A great storm is brewing....

I was at my neice's pool party last Saturday. She got an inflatable dolphin for her birthday. We were all having a great time, when the wind started blowing a bit harder and some clouds rolled in. Over the next 10 minutes it just started getting windier and windier and the skies turned dark. In the distance we saw a flash of lightning and decided to get the kids inside.
As we were running towards the house, my niece dropped the dolphin toy and the wind got ahold of it and blew it across the yard. Fearing it would blow away and be lost forever, i frantically chased after it, but to no avail, it jumped the fence but came to rest in the neighbors rosebush. Some of the thorns had punctured the thin plastic and, upon examination, i saw air escaping through 3 small holes in the side.
"Well, I guess that deflates the porpoise."

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A dolphin goes into the bar.

The barman says, 'Well, that was a bloody big tsunami!'

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What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?

Dolphout

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Why was the dolphin keeper depressed?

Because he had no porpoise.

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Do dolphins speak Welsh?

Or is it just Wales.

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Why did the dolphin go to the Tupperwear store?

It was looking for a tight seal

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Why was the dolphin depressed?

It had no porpoise in life

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Why shouldn't you throw away an old dolphin?

Because they can be re-porpoised!

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A Dolphin meets the Buddha...

The Buddha says you may ask me any question young dolphin and I shall answer for you.
The Dolphin thinks about what he should ask and after several minutes of soul searching he ask the Buddha "What is my Porpoise in life?"

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You know how dolphins rape a lot?

They do it on porpoise.

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What do you call a dolphin that doesn't know what to do with its life?

A porpoise without a purpose.


This is my own material, be kind :)

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I bought a dolphin

Now my life has a porpoise.

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What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

"I didn't do it on Porpoise!!"

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Went on a date with a dolphin the other night.

We just clicked. Heyyyooooo

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A crab, a lobster, a dolphin...

and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?

[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)

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Did you hear about the man who bought a dolphin?

He didn't want to live life without a porpoise!

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Why are dolphins so passionate?

Because they have a sense of porpoise.

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Anybody see that movie about the dog who befriends a dolphin?

A Dog's Porpoise

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What are the best Dolphin jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Dolphin? Well, here are the best Dolphin dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Dolphin pick up lines to share with friends.

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