The Best 61 Dolphin Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dolphin jokes. There are some dolphin seahorse jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dolphin miami dolphin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Dolphin Jokes and Puns
Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY
That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
You know how dolphins rape a lot?
They do it on porpoise.
What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?
"I didn't do it on Porpoise!!"
A Dolphin meets the Buddha...
The Buddha says you may ask me any question young dolphin and I shall answer for you.
The Dolphin thinks about what he should ask and after several minutes of soul searching he ask the Buddha "What is my Porpoise in life?"
Why did the dolphin kill himself?
A lack of porpoise.
Why was the dolphin keeper depressed?
Because he had no porpoise.
Why was the dolphin sad?
He had no porpoise in life.
Did you hear about the man who bought a dolphin?
He didn't want to live life without a porpoise!
What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?
Dolphout
Thought I could put dolphin in my fish pie.
Until I noticed I was using all porpoise flour.
Why was the dolphin depressed?
It had no porpoise in life
You can explore dolphin dolph reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dolphin krill dad jokes. There are also dolphin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If Hitler had a pet, what would it be?
A dolphin
"IS A DOLPHIN WHAT?!" -
Hitler's wife answering the phone
Why are dolphins all friends with each other?
They just click you know?
Why did the fisherman commit suicide when the last dolphin died?
Because his life had no porpoise.
Anybody see that movie about the dog who befriends a dolphin?
A Dog's Porpoise
Apart from humans, the only creature that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin...
Do you know how many animals I had to screw to find that out?
A teacher told her first grade class, "A single dolphin can have two hundred off-spring!"
A little girl gasped, "How about the married ones?"
A dolphin trespassed and took over my pool...
I guess I could drain it, but that would defeat the porpoise.
A crab, a lobster, a dolphin...
and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?
[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)
Why did the dolphin go to the Tupperwear store?
It was looking for a tight seal
Went on a date with a dolphin the other night.
We just clicked. Heyyyooooo
I bought a dolphin
Now my life has a porpoise.
Why don't dolphins make mistakes?
They do everything on porpoise.
I thought of this myself, but I'm probably late to the punch.
Dolphins are really clever
In fact, they have trained humans to stand at the edge of the pools and throw fish at them.
New Original joke
I had sex on top of a dolphin,
You could say I did it on porpoise.
Why was the dolphin happy?
It found a porpoise in life.
What do you call a dolphin that doesn't know what to do with its life?
A porpoise without a purpose.
This is my own material, be kind :)
Why dont they allow harpoons in dolphin hospitals?
It defeats the porpoise
If you should ever want to know your Dolphin name,
Just lick your finger then rub a balloon
Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)
An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."
What did the dolphin say during its existential crisis?
I feel that my life has no porpoise.
Do dolphins speak Welsh?
Or is it just Wales.
Why are dolphins so passionate?
Because they have a sense of porpoise.
Why shouldn't you throw away an old dolphin?
Because they can be re-porpoised!
A lion and a tiger make a liger, a whale and dolphin a wolphin, a squid and octopus a scquoctopus. What would a five-year old and a horse be?
Definitely illegal.
Why did the dolphin go to the dentist?
He had an appointment.
Did you know that dolphins have existential crisis too?
They wonder if their life has a porpoise.
An old man owned a dolphin
A few kids went to the old man and asked
"Why do you own a dolphin?"
The old man smiled and said
"When I was younger my dreams were crushed so I bought a dolphin."
He smiled.
"Buying him gave me a porpoise in life."
dolphins doing calculus be like
(eᴱ)' = Eeᴱ
Two older male dolphins notice their hairlines are starting to recede.
Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...
Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.
In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his buddy, Hey compadre, we don't have to just *accept* this as our new normal, ya know? What with modern fashion and technology these days… we can *do* something about this!
So they went out and bought matching hairpieces. They were toupees in a pod.
How do dolphins become happy?
They produce endolphins!
A cop was patrolling a neighborhood after receiving a call from dispatch about suspicious activity.
He stopped a man walking past and asked, "Seen anything unusual?"
"I saw a dolphin wearing a hat once," said the man.
"I meant around here," the cop said annoyed.
*"Nah man, they live in the water."*
If dolphins could code...
they'd program in C.
I'd make a joke about a Dolphin
But I don't see the Porpoise.
What happens when you cross a rhinoceros with a dolphin?
You get horn-ee-ee-ee-ee
A whale and a dolphin are eating at a restaurant
A whale and a dolphin are eating at a restaurant. When the check comes to the table the dolphin insists on paying. The whale is quite grateful and wants to leave the tip at least but the dolphin respectfully declines.
The whale then says
thanks if there's anything you ever need let me know
The dolphin replies
you're welcome
Then the Whale says Gross....why would you want that?
My buddy has been really depressed since his pet dolphin died.
His life has no porpoise.
What do you call a dolphin in the woods?
Dead.
My 4yo nephew just made this one up.
Cop: seen anything unusual?
Me: a dolphin with a hat once
Cop: I mean around here
Me: nah they live in water
Why are Dolphins so successful at dating?
They always click with one another!
Every day I go down to the harbour and throw fish to a baby dolphin. My friends say it's a waste of time.
But at least I'm serving a youthful porpoise.
Remember: If you are riding a dolphin...
The everything you do is completely on Porpoise.
What did the whale say to the dolphin?
When the person says "what?" do you best impression of a whale.
My co workers found it funny but my family did not.
Adolph Hitler had a stamp on his desk
It was solely used to RSVP for meetings. The picture resembled a dolphin breaching water. Historians now believe the message was to mean Adolph in.
Dolphins get high passing around a pufferfish... what kind of drug would u call that?
NARQUATICS !!!!😂🤦♂️
What did the shark say after he bit the dolphin?
I'm sorry, I meant to do that on porpoise.
Last summer I rode a dolphin on accident.
Usually it's on porpoise.
I was at the zoo's aquatic exhibit, staring at the lone dolphin and pondering that I couldn't remember what noise they make.
Then it clicked.
Why was the dolphin sent to the electric chair?
He was found guilty of crimes against a manatee.
Old Macdonald had a dolphin.
E-e-e-e-e
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dolphin seaweed jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dolphin cetacean piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.