Dolphin Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Dolphin puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Dolphin

Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY

That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)

An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

A teacher told her first grade class, "A single dolphin can have two hundred off-spring!"

A little girl gasped, "How about the married ones?"

Why did the fisherman commit suicide when the last dolphin died?

Because his life had no porpoise.

Why don't dolphins make mistakes?

They do everything on porpoise.

I thought of this myself, but I'm probably late to the punch.

A dolphin trespassed and took over my pool...

I guess I could drain it, but that would defeat the porpoise.

Why was the dolphin sad?

He had no porpoise in life.

Apart from humans, the only creature that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin...

Do you know how many animals I had to screw to find that out?

A cop sees a boy in Miami walking down the street alone...

So the cop asks him where he is going. The little boy tells the cop that he is running away because his parents have split up. The cop says, "Come on, get in my car and I'll take you home to your mom."

The little boy cries out, "Oh no, please don't! My mom beats me!"

The cop then says, "Alright, I'll take you to your dad then.

Once again, the little boy refuses, "No, my dad beats me too!"

The cop is at a loss of what to do so he asks the boy, "Alright, well where should I take you then?"

The little boy thinks for a moment and then replies, "Take me to Dolphin Statium, I know they don't beat anybody!"

Why dont they allow harpoons in dolphin hospitals?

It defeats the porpoise

A great storm is brewing....

I was at my neice's pool party last Saturday. She got an inflatable dolphin for her birthday. We were all having a great time, when the wind started blowing a bit harder and some clouds rolled in. Over the next 10 minutes it just started getting windier and windier and the skies turned dark. In the distance we saw a flash of lightning and decided to get the kids inside.
As we were running towards the house, my niece dropped the dolphin toy and the wind got ahold of it and blew it across the yard. Fearing it would blow away and be lost forever, i frantically chased after it, but to no avail, it jumped the fence but came to rest in the neighbors rosebush. Some of the thorns had punctured the thin plastic and, upon examination, i saw air escaping through 3 small holes in the side.
"Well, I guess that deflates the porpoise."

What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water?

Dolphout

Why was the dolphin keeper depressed?

Because he had no porpoise.

Do dolphins speak Welsh?

Or is it just Wales.

Why did the dolphin go to the Tupperwear store?

It was looking for a tight seal

Why was the dolphin depressed?

It had no porpoise in life

Why shouldn't you throw away an old dolphin?

Because they can be re-porpoised!

A Dolphin meets the Buddha...

The Buddha says you may ask me any question young dolphin and I shall answer for you.
The Dolphin thinks about what he should ask and after several minutes of soul searching he ask the Buddha "What is my Porpoise in life?"

You know how dolphins rape a lot?

They do it on porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin that doesn't know what to do with its life?

A porpoise without a purpose.


This is my own material, be kind :)

I bought a dolphin

Now my life has a porpoise.

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

"I didn't do it on Porpoise!!"

A crab, a lobster, a dolphin...

and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?

[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)

Went on a date with a dolphin the other night.

We just clicked. Heyyyooooo

Anybody see that movie about the dog who befriends a dolphin?

A Dog's Porpoise

Why are dolphins so passionate?

Because they have a sense of porpoise.

Did you hear about the man who bought a dolphin?

He didn't want to live life without a porpoise!

Why did the dolphin go to the dentist?

He had an appointment.

Thought I could put dolphin in my fish pie.

Until I noticed I was using all porpoise flour.

If Hitler had a pet, what would it be?

A dolphin

"IS A DOLPHIN WHAT?!" -

Hitler's wife answering the phone

What did the dolphin say during its existential crisis?

I feel that my life has no porpoise.

New Original joke

I had sex on top of a dolphin,
You could say I did it on porpoise.

Why was the dolphin happy?

It found a porpoise in life.

Why are dolphins all friends with each other?

They just click you know?

If you should ever want to know your Dolphin name,

Just lick your finger then rub a balloon

Dolphins are really clever

In fact, they have trained humans to stand at the edge of the pools and throw fish at them.

Why did the dolphin kill himself?

A lack of porpoise.

I had a great conversation with a dolphin last night

We just clicked

Did you know that dolphins can commit suicide

On porpoise?

Help I killed a dolphin!!!

It wasn't on porpoise.

A lion and a tiger make a liger, a whale and dolphin a wolphin, a squid and octopus a scquoctopus. What would a five-year old and a horse be?

Definitely illegal.

Did you know that dolphins have existential crisis too?

They wonder if their life has a porpoise.

What's the difference between Neymar and a Dolphin?

When a dolphin dives he's fishing for a carp for food on a reef ...
When Neymar dives he's fishing for a card from a fool of a ref

What do dolphins use to keep clean?

Multi-porpoise cleaner.

What did the depressed dolphin say?

I need a porpoise.

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

Why can't you ever accidentally ride a dolphin?

Because it's always on porpoise

What did the dolphin say to the frog?

Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk dummy.

According to my fortune cookie I am getting a dolphin!

It said my life will have a purpose.

What is a Jew's least favorite animal ?

A dolphin

Why did the dolphin cross the road?

No porpoise.

What is a cucumber and a dolphin doing in the same room?

Sushi

My dolphin died...

I have no porpoise in life.

It only costs 1 penny to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping or dressed as a dolphin...

So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!

What do you get when you mix Hitler with a dolphin?

Adolfphin

What makes a dolphin happy?

Endor*fins*

Did you hear about the man who murdered a dolphin?

He was said to have done it on porpoise.

Did you know dolphins commit infanticide?

They do it on porpoise.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes