Dolphin Jokes

142 dolphin jokes and hilarious dolphin puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about dolphin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for dolphin jokes to make your kids laugh, or party jokes to make your next event a hit? Check out this collection of dolphin-related puns and jokes, including references to Flipper, porpoises, football, and more. No matter the occasion, these dolphin jokes are sure to make everyone smile.

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Funniest Dolphin Short Jokes

Short dolphin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dolphin humour may include short whale jokes also.

  1. Remember, If your apartment is hit by a dolphin, DO NOT GO OUT TO SEE IF THE DOLPHIN IS OKAY That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
  2. I find it strange how everyone suddenly cares about straws killing dolphins... They've been breaking camels' backs for years.
  3. A teacher told her first grade class, "A single dolphin can have two hundred off-spring!" A little girl gasped, "How about the married ones?"
  4. Every day I go down to the harbour and throw fish to a baby dolphin. My friends say it's a waste of time. But at least I'm serving a youthful porpoise.
  5. If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks Cost me an arm and a leg!
  6. Why don't dolphins make mistakes? They do everything on porpoise.
    I thought of this myself, but I'm probably late to the punch.
  7. A dolphin trespassed and took over my pool... I guess I could drain it, but that would defeat the porpoise.
  8. A new study shows that dolphins are second in intelligence to man... Guess that puts women in third.
  9. A new study of dolphins was recently performed... The study showed that within a few weeks in captivity, they were able to teach humans to stand at the edge of their pool and throw fish at them.
  10. Cop: seen anything unusual? Me: a dolphin with a hat once
    Cop: I mean around here
    Me: nah they live in water

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Dolphin One Liners

Which dolphin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dolphin? I can suggest the ones about porpoise and blue whale.

  1. dolphins doing calculus be like (eᴱ)' = Eeᴱ
  2. Old Macdonald had a dolphin. E-e-e-e-e
  3. A Swiss Army Knife is a lot like a pod of dolphins... Multi-porpoise!
  4. Why was the dolphin sad? He had no porpoise in life.
  5. Why dont they allow harpoons in dolphin hospitals? It defeats the porpoise
  6. I hate dolphins... ...for all intents and porpoises.
  7. I'm setting up a website for single dolphins Where true love's just a few clicks away
  8. What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water? Dolphout
  9. Why was the dolphin keeper depressed? Because he had no porpoise.
  10. What do philosophical dolphins say? What's the porpoise?
  11. Do dolphins speak Welsh? Or is it just Wales.
  12. I just finished writing a book on dolphins. I should have used paper.
  13. Why did the dolphin go to the Tupperwear store? It was looking for a tight seal
  14. I'd make a joke about a Dolphin But I don't see the Porpoise.
  15. If dolphins could code... they'd program in C.

Dolphin Porpoise Jokes

Here is a list of funny dolphin porpoise jokes and even better dolphin porpoise puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I heard that dolphins have vestigial legs... It would seem evolution defeeted the porpoise.
  • I've spent my whole life searching for an invisible dolphin. But now I don't see the porpoise.
  • I got so angry with poachers illegally killing dolphins that I began randomly implanting some with tiny bombs. But it just ended up defeating the porpoise.
  • Why was the dolphin depressed? It had no porpoise in life
  • Last summer I rode a dolphin on accident. Usually it's on porpoise.
  • Why shouldn't you throw away an old dolphin? Because they can be re-porpoised!
  • My wife asked me if I had heard that female dolphins have clitorises that are very similar to humans. I asked her why she was telling me this.
    She replied, "Do you think God did that on porpoise?"
  • What do you use to clean dolphins and whales? All porpoise cleaner
  • What do you call a dolphin that doesn't know what to do with its life? A porpoise without a purpose.
    This is my own material, be kind :)
  • I bought a dolphin Now my life has a porpoise.

Whale Dolphin Jokes

Here is a list of funny whale dolphin jokes and even better whale dolphin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "Dad, can you help me with my homework?" "Sure son"
    "What are 5 animals that live in the ocean?"
    "3 whales and two dolphins"
    "Thanks dad"
  • What did the whale say to the dolphin? When the person says "what?" do you best impression of a whale.
    My co workers found it funny but my family did not.
  • What did the gang of dolphins say to the orca? "Whale, whale, whale... Look what the tide brought in..."
  • What is a dolphin's favorite TV show ? Whale of fortune !
  • What did the dolphin say when three orcas swam by? Whale, whale, whale, who do we have here?
    Please, this is a cry for help.
  • What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him? Sorry I didn't do it on porpoise
  • What's the difference between a killer whale and a killer dolphin? One doesn't have to hide the bodies.
  • What did the dolphin say to the blue whale? The dolphin said, Cheer up!
  • What did the stoic dolphin say to the whiny whale? Cut out all that blubber and you can be more like me.
  • How do dolphins and whales pass down and share knowledge through the generations? Via podcasts, naturally.
Dolphin joke, How do dolphins and whales pass down and share knowledge through the generations?

Dolphin Fish Jokes

Here is a list of funny dolphin fish jokes and even better dolphin fish puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • TIL Dolphins deliberately get high on the nerve toxins of puffer fish by chewing on them and passing it around Talk about 'puff puff pass', amirite?
  • Thought I could put dolphin in my fish pie. Until I noticed I was using all porpoise flour.
  • Dolphins are really clever In fact, they have trained humans to stand at the edge of the pools and throw fish at them.
  • What's the difference between Neymar and a Dolphin? When a dolphin dives he's fishing for a carp for food on a reef ...
    When Neymar dives he's fishing for a card from a fool of a ref
  • I never knew how smart Dolphins were... They are so smart that after only a few weeks of captivity they can train humans to stand at the edge of the pool and throw them fish
  • Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them fish?
  • How do you call a german fish? A dolphin (I know it's not a fish, it's just for a joke)
  • Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
  • Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
    Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
  • Why didn't the baby dolphin get in trouble for eating his brother's fish? He didn't do it on porpoise

Dolphin Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny dolphin day jokes and even better dolphin day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So I was talking to this dolphin the other day. It was so gnar
Dolphin joke, So I was talking to this dolphin the other day.

Cheerful Fun Dolphin Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy

What funny jokes about dolphin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sea animal jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dolphin pranks.

You know how dolphins r**... a lot?

They do it on porpoise.

What did the dolphin say when he got in trouble?

"I didn't do it on Porpoise!!"

A Dolphin meets the Buddha...

The Buddha says you may ask me any question young dolphin and I shall answer for you.
The Dolphin thinks about what he should ask and after several minutes of soul searching he ask the Buddha "What is my Porpoise in life?"

Why did the dolphin kill himself?

A lack of porpoise.

Did you hear about the man who bought a dolphin?

He didn't want to live life without a porpoise!

What is a cucumber and a dolphin doing in the same room?


Why did the dolphin run away from home to start a new life?

He felt he had lost his sense of porpoise.

My dolphin died...

I have no porpoise in life.

Did you hear about the man who murdered a dolphin?

He was said to have done it on porpoise.

Why couldn't the dolphin turn around in a hallway

Because he was driving a tractor

Why couldn't the dolphin choose a career?

She had no sense of porpoise.

What did the dolphin say to the frog?

Eeeee eeee eeeee ieeeee eeee eee. Dolphins don't talk d**....

What did the depressed dolphin say?

I need a porpoise.

If h**... had a pet, what would it be?

A dolphin

Why did the dolphin apologize?

He didn't do it on porpoise.


h**...'s wife answering the phone

What do a gay dolphin and a car that leaks oil have in common?

Chances are, both have blown a seal

What do you get when you mix h**... with a dolphin?


Why are dolphins all friends with each other?

They just click you know?

What is a Jew's least favorite animal ?

A dolphin

Why did the fisherman commit s**... when the last dolphin died?

Because his life had no porpoise.

Anybody see that movie about the dog who befriends a dolphin?

A Dog's Porpoise

Apart from humans, the only creature that has s**... for pleasure is the dolphin...

Do you know how many animals I had to screw to find that out?

A crab, a lobster, a dolphin...

and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?
[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)

Went on a date with a dolphin the other night.

We just clicked. Heyyyooooo

I saw a chap dashing though town with what looked like a dolphin tucked under his arm.

I thought to myself, "now there's a guy with a porpoise".

Why can't you ever accidentally ride a dolphin?

Because it's always on porpoise

Help I killed a dolphin!!!

It wasn't on porpoise.

New Original joke

I had s**... on top of a dolphin,
You could say I did it on porpoise.

Being at a s**... club is like being at a dolphin show at seaworld

I want to enjoy it, but I just feel bad for them

Why was the dolphin happy?

It found a porpoise in life.

If you should ever want to know your Dolphin name,

Just lick your finger then rub a balloon

According to my fortune cookie I am getting a dolphin!

It said my life will have a purpose.

A mermaid finally got off the couch and hit the gym once she found a dolphin physical trainer.

She moved with a porpoise.

Dolphin joke...made it up myself today. :)

An aquarium guide brought a group of visitors around to see the dolphins, which were split up into two tanks. In the first tank the dolphins were all having fun, playing around with a beach ball. In the second tank the dolphins were training, working hard on a new trick. One of the visitors asked the guide, "So is this tank for the more serious dolphins?" The guide said, "Yes, for all intensive porpoises."

A dolphin graduated from college with a philosophy major.

He thought, "what's my porpoise now?"

What did the dolphin say during its existential crisis?

I feel that my life has no porpoise.

It only costs 1 penny to get into our local aquarium, as long as you're camping or dressed as a dolphin...

So, to all in tents and porpoises, it's free!

What makes a dolphin happy?


Why are dolphins so passionate?

Because they have a sense of porpoise.

Why did the dolphin cross the road?

No porpoise.

A lion and a tiger make a liger, a whale and dolphin a wolphin, a squid and octopus a scquoctopus. What would a five-year old and a horse be?

Definitely i**....

What do you get when cross h**... and a dolphin?


I had a great conversation with a dolphin last night

We just clicked

Why did the dolphin go to the dentist?

He had an appointment.

Did you know that dolphins have existential crisis too?

They wonder if their life has a porpoise.

Did you know that dolphins can commit s**...

On porpoise?

Did you know dolphins commit infanticide?

They do it on porpoise.

What do dolphins use to keep clean?

Multi-porpoise cleaner.

An old man owned a dolphin

A few kids went to the old man and asked
"Why do you own a dolphin?"
The old man smiled and said
"When I was younger my dreams were crushed so I bought a dolphin."
He smiled.
"Buying him gave me a porpoise in life."

From my 8 yr old: Why did the girl dolphin not forgive the boy dolphin?

Because he did it on porpoise!

Two older male dolphins notice their hairlines are starting to recede.

Dolphins go bald, too. Tough for humans to notice, but dolphins notice... Anyway...
Understandably, they start getting a little down in the dumps recognizing the loss of their youth and feeling a profound sense of their own mortality.
In a moment of clarity, one dolphin says to his buddy, Hey compadre, we don't have to just *accept* this as our new normal, ya know? What with modern fashion and technology these days… we can *do* something about this!
So they went out and bought matching hairpieces. They were toupees in a pod.

How do dolphins become happy?

They produce endolphins!

A cop was patrolling a neighborhood after receiving a call from dispatch about suspicious activity.

He stopped a man walking past and asked, "Seen anything unusual?"
"I saw a dolphin wearing a hat once," said the man.
"I meant around here," the cop said annoyed.
*"Nah man, they live in the water."*

What happens when you cross a rhinoceros with a dolphin?

You get horn-ee-ee-ee-ee

A whale and a dolphin are eating at a restaurant

A whale and a dolphin are eating at a restaurant. When the check comes to the table the dolphin insists on paying. The whale is quite grateful and wants to leave the tip at least but the dolphin respectfully declines.
The whale then says
thanks if there's anything you ever need let me know
The dolphin replies
you're welcome
Then the Whale says g**.......why would you want that?

My buddy has been really depressed since his pet dolphin died.

His life has no porpoise.

What do you call a dolphin in the woods?

My 4yo nephew just made this one up.

Did you hear about the dolphin being killed?

Apparently it was on porpoise.

Why do dolphins get so happy when they move into a house?

Because they have a lot of indoor fins

Dolphin joke, Why do dolphins get so happy when they move into a house?

jokes about dolphin