Dollar Store Jokes
113 dollar store jokes and hilarious dollar store puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dollar store that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Dollar Store Short Jokes
Short dollar store jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dollar store humour may include short pound shop jokes also.
- During a job interview at the 99 Cents store, my son was asked, Where do you see yourself in five years? My son's reply: At the Dollar Store. He got the job.
- I remember when I was a kid I could go to a store with a dollar and get two big bags of chips, a 2 liter of Sprite, 6 bags of Skittles and 6 Slim Jims. Nowadays they have cameras everywhere inside.
- I was at the dollar store and saw balloons labeled $1 a piece. I grabbed 3 and went to the cashier who told me the total was $5.28. I guess that's the price of inflation
- There was a fire at my local dollar store Damage is estimated to be in the tens of dollars
- Your mama is so fat... The NSA had to build a 2 billion dollar complex to store her weight information.
- So this Jewish kid goes to his dad for $20 And he says "hey dad I need a 20 to go the store."
His dad says "15 dollars?! What do you need 10 dollars for? I got a five so here's 2.50" - Being a woman must be so economical. They only need to bring 70 cents to the dollar store.
- Why do chickens make good dollar store employees? Whenever you ask them the price they say "Buck buck buck buuuuuuck,"
- I asked my local store why they don't round the 99 cent price tags to a dollar They said that there's no cents in the change
- Did you hear about the man who bought a wig from the dollar store? It was a small price toupee.
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Dollar Store One Liners
Which dollar store one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dollar store? I can suggest the ones about thrift store and drug store.
- What's the one thing you'll never see at a Dollar Store? A price check.
- I left a one-star review on my local dollar store. They didn't sell any dollars.
- What do you call a baby chick from the dollar store? A cheap cheep-cheep
- In a hundred years, the dollar store will become cheaper It'll be a Cent Tree
- Where do you go when you need extra cash? The Dollar Store
- I once got kicked out of Dollar General store ... for asking for something specific.
- I got a 99¢ gift card... ...FOR THE DOLLAR STORE!!!
- What do you call a guy who buys condoms at the dollar store? ..
- Someone set a bomb off in a dollar store It was a centsless act of destruction
- Why do collectors like to shop at dollar stores? They appreciate the value.
- What's the best kind of cake at the moment? Pound cake from the dollar store
- My local dollar store burned down Over $3000 worth of merchandise was lost
- I'm going to open a dollar store in England It'll be called p**....
- I'm taking your mom to the new British dollar store p**....
- What do you call the Dollar Tree stores in Britain? p**...
Dollar Store Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dollar store you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean target store jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dollar store pranks.
Yo mama so s**..., she went to the dollar store and said, "How much is this?"
Yo mama is so s**... she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "
This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber.
"That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests.
A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer.
"Get to work," the store-keeper urged.
"I must have a pound of cheese," the killer declared.
When this had been provided:
"Now give me a quart of whiskey."
Equipped with the whiskey, the professional spoke briskly:
"Now show me the cellar."
An hour elapsed, and then the rat-catcher galloped up the cellar stairs and leaped into the store.
His face was red, the eyes glaring, and he shook his fists in defiance of the world at large, as he jumped high in air and shouted:
"Whoopee! I'm ready! bring on your rats!"
A young boy and a barber
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you. The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, Which do you want, son? The boy takes the quarters and leaves. What did I tell you? said the barber. That kid never learns! Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill? The boy licked his cone and replied, Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!
Dumbest kid in the world.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, Which do you want, son? The boy takes the quarters and leaves. What did I tell you? said the barber. That kid never learns!
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?
The boy licked his cone and replied, Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!
MasterCard Commercial
***Pregnancy Tests***
$20 at the grocery store, $1 at the dollar store
Waiting to find out?
Priceless.
Permanent e**...
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.
The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.
The man said, "This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent e**... which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "The best we can do is one third ownership in the store and 3000 Dollars a month in living expenses."
Artemis the Strangler
A few years ago, there was a hitman named Artemis who was known and sought after for his uncanny ability to strangle people. One day, he got an assignment from the local mob to take out a man who owed huge amounts of money and was refusing to pay it back. Artemis took the job, but the man turned out to be almost impossible to find. The target would seemingly vanish whenever Artemis was in the vicinity and tracking him was practically impossible.
However, one day Artemis got a call from his boss. The man had been spotted at a local Kroger and, since nobody knew when he would appear again, Artemis was to strangle the man in the store. Artemis was reluctant at first, but he was getting very tired of the long project and agreed to track the man inside.
Luckily, Artemis was able to corner the man in the produce aisle and strangle him. Unluckily, just as he was laying the man's body down, a woman came around the corner. Artemis panicked and in his desperation strangled the woman, only to see a poor store clerk out of the corner of his eye. Artemis strangled this man too. Finally, a manager came around the corner and also met his end.
All of this became too much for Artemis to cover up and he was arrested outside of the store. The next day, the local paper ran the headline:
ARTY CHOKES FOUR FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS
The Good Old Days!
Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular to his grandson.
"When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I'd get a salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o' bread, a magazine, and some new blue jeans... all for a dollar!!
"Grandson, "You can't DO that anymore..... they got those darn video cameras everywhere you look."
The Art Collector [Clean]
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take.
He knows that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The store owner replies, "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale."
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you 20 dollars for that cat."
And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish."
The owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight cats."
5 boxes for a dollar...
A woman walks into a drug store to buy tampons. She notices a group of tampons stacked on a table in the corner with a sign on them saying, "5 boxes for a dollar."
Well, the woman just can't believe this price so she asks the clerk if it was correct.
He replies, "Oh yes, 5 for a dollar."
She says, "That can't be right!"
The clerk responds, "Oh yes, it's right!! 5 boxes for a dollar, no strings attached."
Arty
Joe is extremely angry and frustrated with his wife of 20 years and finally decides to find a contract killer to get rid of her. He knows this will cost more money than he has so he asks to borrow some funds from his best friend Arty. Arty surprises Joe by saying, "I have never liked your wife so I will gladly m**... her for only a dollar."
Later, Arty is hiding outside the grocery store where Joe's wife works and as she leaves he drags her behind the store into an alley and strangles her. Just as he is dragging her body behind some bushes, the store manager comes out and sees him. So Arty attacks the manager and strangles him as well. Again, as he hides the body, a clerk comes out of the store so Arty has to do the same thing one more time. By this time, with all of the commotion, the police arrive and discover what has happened. They arrest Arty and the next morning the headline in the town newspaper reads:
ARTY CHOKES 3 FOR A DOLLAR AT THE LOCAL MARKET
Dad goes to the store to buy a Barbie...
And he's looking at the prices: regular Barbie 10 dollars. Divorced Barbie 200 dollars. So he asks the clerk:
-Why is the divorced Barbie so expensive.
Clerk replies:
-Because it comes with Ken's house and car.
A youthful child enters a follicle removal facility...
...and the barber whispers to his customer, This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, Which do you want, son? The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
What did I tell you? said the barber. That kid never learns!
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?
The boy licked his cone and replied,
Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!
An old man walks into a dollar store.
He walks up to the cashier empty handed.
"Aren't you going to buy anything?" asks the cashier?
"No, I'm only here to preach the need for change," says the old man smugly.
Exasperated, the cashier asks, "what are you, a wise guy?"
The old man responds, "no, I'm a pundit"."
A young boy enters the barbershop and the barber whispers to his customer…
A young boy enters a barbershop… the barber whispers to his customer, This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch.
The barber puts a dollar in one open palm and two quarters in the other and asks the kid, Which do you want?
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
What did I tell you? says the barber. That kid never learns!
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why'd you take the quarters and not the dollar? he asks.
The boy licked his cone and replied, Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!
This old man was reminiscing about the good old days...
When I was a boy, my Momma would send me down to the corner store with a dollar, and I'd come back with five pounds of potatoes, two loaves of bread, three pints of milk, a pound of cheese, a box of tea, and a half a dozen eggs.
You can't do that now.
Too many f**...' security cameras.
Oversmart
A famous art collector is walking through Greenwich Village when he notices a mangy old cat lapping milk from a saucer in front of a store. And the collector does a double take when he sees the saucer. He knows it's very old and very valuable.
So he saunters casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
But the store owner says to him, 'I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale.'
And the collector says, 'Please. I need a hungry old tomcat around the house to catch mice. I'll give you ten dollars for him.'
And the owner says, 'Sold,' and takes the ten dollars.
Then the collector says, 'Listen, I was wondering if, for the ten dollars, you might include that old saucer. The cat seems to be used to it. It'll save me a dish.'
And the owner says, 'Sorry, buddy. That's my lucky saucer. So far this week, I've sold sixty-eight cats!'
A man is getting his haircut at the barbershop...
A kid walks in and the barber says to his customer, "this is the dumbest kid in the world, look I'll prove it to you"
The barber takes out a dollar bill in one hand and 2 quarters in the other and proceeds to ask the kid, "Young man, which of these would you like?"
The kid thinks for a second and then grabs the 2 quarters and leaves.
The barber turns to his customer and says, "See I told you! He is an idiot!"
After leaving the barbershop, the man sees the kid across the street coming out of the ice cream store.
He walks over and asks, "Hey kid, how come you took the quarter and not the dollar?!?"
The kid responds, "Once I take the dollar, that idiot's game will end"
If I were to open a dollar store in the UK,
I'd call it p**....
Kid vs barber
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.' The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?' The boy takes the quarters and leaves. 'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!' Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. 'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?' The boy licked his cone and replied, 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!'
A joke told by an old man.
I was speaking to an old man at the grocery store yesterday when he told me something interesting about the olden days of america.
Old man: Son, back in the day my mother could give me a dollar and I could run to the store and get myself a candy bar and a soda pop, and still have money left over to buy the milk my mom asked me to get.
Me: s**... you can not do that today!
Oldman: Yeah, I know son! Now a days, there is just way to much security . . .
I gave a homeless man 10 dollars and told him, "I want to make sure you find something good to eat". After watching him come out of the store with a pack of cigarettes I was quite upset
His stomach was too after I made sure he ate them.
A young boy walks into a barber shop...
... and the barber whispers to his customer, 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.'
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?' The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
'What did I tell you?', said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?'. Then the boy, l**... his cone, replied,
'Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!'
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms for the first time.
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms for the first time. He brings a box up to the counter and the clerk says, "That will be five dollars plus 15 cents for tax."
The young man screams "Tacks, I thought they stayed on by themselves!"
I asked my grandfather for twenty dollars.
"Twenty dollars?!" he said. "For what?"
"To buy groceries," I told him.
"When I was a boy," my grandfather said. "My mama would give me one dollar, just *one dollar*, and I'd go to the store and come home with two loaves of bread, two sacks of potatoes, a carton of eggs, three bottles of milk, a can of coffee and a box of tea."
He shrugged and paused.
"Times have changed and ya can't do that now," he told me. "Too many f**...' security cameras."
Tom Brady walks into a grocery store. He buys a bag of chips, equaling up to $1.75. How much does he give the cashier?
2 dollars, so he gets a quarter back.
A joke from my dad when i showed him my new plant: "Hey thats a money tree!"
Where did you get it, the dollar store?
Grandma: "I remember the days when we could walk into a grocery store with a ten dollar bill and come out with a handful of stuff"
Me: "That's cool Grandma. But you can't do it anymore, they've got cameras everywhere"
A young lad enters a barber shop...
and the barber whispers to his customer, This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, Which do you want, son?
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
What did I tell you? said the barber. That kid never learns!
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?
The boy licked his cone and replied,
Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!
Why are birds best promoters for dollar stores?
They always say ' cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap'
Three chinese men named Hu, Fu and Chu come to the USA to live the American Dream
Chu calls himself Chuck and opens a dry cleaning business.
Hu calls himself Huck and opens a dollar store.
Just Fu goes back to China disappointedly.
I have good news and bad news.
The good news is that I slept with a coworker. The bad news is I work at the Dollar Store.
I got in touch with my inner self today.
Thats the last time I'm buying 1 ply toilet paper at the dollar store.
A Barber's Bill
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. 'Hey, kid! Can I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?' The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
I went to the store with my wife!
While passing the beer cooler I picked up a case and put it in the cart.
She asked what was I doing and I said "10 dollars is cheap for a case of beer."
She replied, "We can't afford it, put it back."
So I put it back, and a few more Isles down, she picked up a 20 dollar jar of face cream and put it in the cart.
I asked, "How can we afford this?"
She replied, "Because this makes my face pretty."
I said so will a case of beer at half the price.
Did you hear that Dollar Tree is opening a store in the U.K?
They're naming it p**....
I love the old times when I could buy so many candies, bottles of soda and fruit with just one dollar but now I can't
Because stores now have cameras
Back in the day, I 'member me and my mom going to the store with two dollars in her purse and coming back with a big bag of spuds, two loaves of bread, a pound of cheese, three gallons of milk, half a dozen eggs and coffee…
You can't do that anymore…too many security cameras…
A man went to a brain store to get a brain to complete a study.
He sees a sign indicating the nationality of each type of brain. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
"How much does it cost for an Americans brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce."
"How much does it cost for a Japaneese brain?"
"ten dollars an ounce."
"How much for a Frenchmen's brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce."
"Why is a Frenchmen's brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many French men we had to use to get one ounce of brain?"
"Back in the day," my grandfather started to say,
"you could walk into a grocery store with 2 dollars in your pocket, and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, and a bit of butter as well."
"But today," he continued, "wherever you go - there are cameras."
A crook walks into a bait and tackle store and sees the cashier is blind.
She asks him for a 50 dollar fishing rod, and he walks over and shows it to her. Then she thanks him and sticks a 100 dollar rod into her cart.
But the blind man isn't s**..., and when she rings it up, he feels the rod and he says "that will be 100 dollars for the fishing rod."
the woman is so embarassed at being caught stealing she rips a loud one.
"and that will be $5.89 for the duck call and $3.29 for the musk scent"
A Father goes to the toy store to buy a doll for his daughter
"It's my daughter's birthday and I want to buy her a barbie."
the toy salesman replies "well, you came to the right place. We have 'barbie goes to the beach' for 30 dollars, 'barbie super party funhouse' for 20 dollars, 'barbie learns to drive' that comes with a toy car and 'divorced barbie' for 100 dollars.
"why is divorced barbie so expensive" the father ponders aloud.
"because she comes with ken's house, car, and kids
A farmer walked into a hardware store
and while purchasing some tools was asked by the proprietor if he would like to buy a bicycle.
You won't have to keep a bicycle fed, said the storekeep, and you can ride around your farm on it. They're getting cheaper now, and I can let you have one for 35 dollars.
I'd rather put the 35 dollars into a cow, said the farmer.
Well, said the hardware man sarcastically, you'd look almighty foolish riding around your farm on a cow, now, wouldn't you?
No more foolish, I guess, said the farmer, than I would milking a bicycle.
A man decides to put his counterfeit 30 dollar bills into circulation.
He decides that a small town would be the best place to put them into circulation. "No one will know" he thinks. When he enters the store he chose to start breaking them up, he tells the cashier, "I got these brand new, shiny 30 dollar bills, Can you break them for me?" She says, "Sure, do you want it in 15's or 6's?"
Kid and barber
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. 'This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.' The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, 'Which do you want, son?' The boy takes the quarters and leaves. 'What did I tell you?' said the barber. 'That kid never learns!'
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. 'Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?' The boy licked his cone and replied, 'Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!'
Travel to Mars
After years of work and billions of dollars, we can send a single astronaut to Mars and back. Jimmy is chosen to go on the mission with zero possibility of communication until he returns 10 years later. With a huge celebration, the shuttle takes off and the wait begins. After 10 years, Jimmy returns. Everyone is ecstatic, scientists, politicians and reporters all ask the same question: "Is there life on Mars?"
"It's a dead, s**... planet" answers Jimmy, shrugging. Everybody is sad, disappointed, accepting defeat.
When he's back at his house, his kid asks again "Dad, is there really no life on Mars?"
"Okay, so all the stores close at 2pm and they don't have whiskey, would you call it a life?"
Did you hear about the store 50 Cent opened with his brother?
Dollar General has been fairly successful.
Feels good to finally be able to walk into the store and buy whatever I want without checking price tags.
I sure do love the Dollar tree!
When I was a kid...
I could walk in the store with a dollar and come out with 3 candy bars, a mountain dew, a bag of chips, and a comic book.
Couldn't do that nowadays, there's cameras everywhere.
10 years ago, you could walk into a store with just a dollar and come back out with a candy bar, a soda and a bag of crisps,
Now there's security cameras everywhere!
I came to the conclusion that Jewish people control all the 7-Eleven stores around the world
They make over a billion dollars every year and yet each store only has $30 in the safe.
It feels good to go into the store and buy whatever I want without looking at the prices...
...Shoutout to the Dollar Tree!
An American girl came to the checkout of a store to purchase a cake for her mother's birthday
An Englishman was at the checkout. The girl put the cake down on the counter and let the Englishman check the price.
"That'll be 10 pounds, miss" said the Englishman.
The American girl replied, "Oh, sorry, I wanted the cost not the weight."
The Englishman realised his mistake and immediately said sorry to the girl. He converted 10 pounds to American dollars and allowed the girl to hand him the money.
When she was given back the cake, the girl said," Thanks, I got really confused when you told me the weight. There must be some language barrier since you come from another planet."
A young boy enters a barber shop
.The barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"The boy takes the quarters and leaves."What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
A man gives dollar to a homeless person
After he threw the dollar in his hat, he noticed a second hat.
The man frowned and asked: "Why do you have two hats?"
"Well, you see..." Said the wanderer. "Business is going well these days so I recently opened my second store."
A man wins big...
*pardon if this is a repost*
A gig worker hits a convenience store on the way home, and buys some juice, a sausage croissant, and a scratcher. Once outside he scratches the card, and wins $400 dollars. The guy collects his winnings and heads home.
When he arrives, he asks his wife "What would you do if I won the lottery?"
She replies "I'd take half the money and leave you."
"Great! I just won $200 tonight, here's $100 -- enjoy your half."
When I was a kid, you could go in a store with 10 dollars and get out with a new ball, 4 milk j**..., a shirt and a pair of shoes.
Nowadays you can't. There are security cameras everywhere.
Urgent message to all older men...
There has been a terrible spate of robberies by a gang of young women. Their MO is to pull you over on the road and hitch a ride. They always wear skimpy bikinis, then start to rub themselves on you while you're driving in order to distract you. One of them then sneakily steals your wallet. I have already lost four wallets this week. But you can buy cheap wallets at the dollar store.
A husband and wife at the store realize they're just a few dollars short to pay for the groceries.
So they decide to remove the bread from their cart. The wife notices no one is looking and shoves the bread in her purse. They pay for the groceries and as they walk out of the store the alarm goes off. Immediately the cops come and search only to find the stolen loaf of bread in the woman's purse. The cops put her in hand cuffs and say alright ma'am, the number of slices of bread in this loaf will tell the number of days you spend in jail.
Excuse me officer the husband quickly shouts She also stole this bag of rice.