Doll Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."



I responded, "How about now?"

If I had a dollar for every downvote EA"s comment gets....

I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks....

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

If I had a dollar for every time I had an existential crisis

Would it even matter?

If I had a dollar for everytime someone called me a boring nerd..

I'd have a mean daily income of $5.64 with a standard deviation of $1.25

If I had a dollar for every gender

I'd have two dollars and a bunch of counterfeits

If I had a dollar for every racist thing I said

a black guy would probably rob me.

If I had a dollar for every gender

I'd have $1.77

If I had a dollar for every gender there was...

I'd have 2 dollars and a whole lot of counterfeits.

If I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive...

....they would start to find me attractive.

You know, if I had a dollar for every time someone over fifty told me my generation sucks...

Then I would be able to afford a house in the economy they ruined.

If I had a dollar every time a woman called me handsome...

I would have one dollar... thanks mom...

If I had a dollar for every time I had sex

I'd be a cheap prostitute

Joke my dad loved

What's the last thing each tickle-me-elmo doll gets before leaving the factory?


Two test tickles

If I had 5 dollars in one pocket and 5 dollars in the other what do I have?

Someone else's pants on.

My grandfathers favorite joke.

If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I've had

Does money even matter

So I walked into a sex shop the other day...

Me: I'm looking for a blow up doll

Manager: Great, we have plenty! What gender?

Me: I'd like a female.

Manager: Awesome, and would you like the doll to be Christian, Protestant, or Muslim?

Me: (confused) Why does the religion matter? What's the difference?

Manager: Well, there really is none between the Christian and Protestant. However, the Muslim will blow itself up.

If I got a dollar for every time I thought about you..

I'd start thinking about you.

If I had a dollar for every time a girl found me unattractive

They'd soon find me attractive

If I got a dollar every time somebody called me a racist

Black people would rob me

What's a terrorists favorite sex toy? [NSFW]

A blow up doll!

If I had a dollar everytime I thought about you

I would start thinking about you

What does an ISIS member use for sex?

A blow-up doll.

If I had a dollar for every gender...

I'd have $1.70 because women make less.

if i got a dollar for every time i think about you....

..i would start to think about you

If I had a dollar for everytime I got laid...

I'd be a prostitute.

If I had a dollar for every racist comment I ever made.....

I'd probably get robbed by a black guy.

If I had a dollar for every girl that turned me down...

They wouldn't turn me down anymore.

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me racist

Black people would rob me

What is an extremist's favourite thing to have sex with?

A blow up doll

If I had a dollar for every gender

I would have two dollars and a lot of monopoly money.

If I had a dollar for every time I read "OP is a racist"

I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read

If I had a dollar for every person over 40 that told me my generation sucks

I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

If I had a dollar for every woman that found me unattractive...

They'd find me attractive.

If I had a dollar for every time I said something racist

A lot more black people would try to rob me

If i had a dollar for every girl that did not like me

Girls would like me

If I had a dollar for every time someone said not to look directly at the eclipse...

I'd have enough money to pay for the eye surgery I need now!

If I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my life

I'd have *n* dollars

If I had a dollar for every time I was suspicious ...

I'd wonder why.

Bought a Muslim sex doll today

It blows itself up.

A woman walks into a sex shop

She tells the clerk she wants a sex doll.
He says" First off, do you want a man or a woman?"
Sey replies "A man"
Then he asks " Black or white"
She replies "White"
Finally he asks "Christian or Muslum"
She asks" what's the difference?"
He says" Well the Muslum blows itself up"

If I had a dollar for every time a girl told me I was unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.

ba dum tsss

If I had a dollar for every time I messed up the punchline

To get to the other side

If I had a dollar for every gender there was

I would have two dollars, and a lot of Counterfeits

If I had a dollar for every time my wife said she was going on a diet

I'd be able to buy her a treadmill she'd never use.

Isis sent me a sex doll today

It's great! It blows it self up.

I i had a dollar for everytime someone called me mean...

I'd be meaner.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone bashing EA . . .

I still wouldn't have enough to unlock everything in Battlefront 2

15 dollars for a rat trap, 3 dollars for cheese

Coming home to find a house not full of droppings?. Miceless.

Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Because Ken came in another box.

If I had a dollar for everything wrong with capitalism

... then I probably wouldn't be complaining about capitalism.

If I had a dollar for every gender...

I'd have $1.79

If I got a dollar everytime someone called me a racist

Black people would rob me

How do they test the "Tickle me Elmo Doll"?

Before it leaves the factory, they give it two testickles.

A Guy Walks Into A Sex Shop....

He asks for a blow up doll.

And the owner asks male or female?

He says male please.

The owner then asks white or black?

He says white please.

The owner finally asks American or Muslim?

The guy asks what's the difference??

The owner replies, the Muslim blows itself up.

Blow-up dolls

I went to my local sex shop last night to get a new blow-up doll. As I was looking at them the clerk came up to me and asked if I needed help? 


I said yes and he asked if I wanted a male or female? 


I said a female and he asked blonde or brunette? 


I said blonde. Then he asked Muslim or Christian?


I asked what's the difference? 


He said the Muslim blows itself up.

If I had a dollar for every time a woman find me attractive...

I'd have a dollar, thanks mom

If I had a dollar every time I was called sexist...

I'd be making more money than the average woman

If I had a dollar for every gender there was...

...I would have 2 dollars and run a counterfeit money smuggling ring.

If I had a dollar for every time Hillary played the Woman Card

...I'd have $0.77 cents.

If I had a dollar everytime I wanted to die

I wouldn't want to die anymore

Mattel released a Muslim Barbie...

It's a blow-up doll.

If I had a dollar for every time older people complained about millennials...

...I could fix the economy they broke.

If I got a dollar everytime someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

I'd have enough money to buy a house in the economy they ruined.

If I had a dollar for every time I was distracted...

I wish I had a puppy

I bought a new sex doll...

it's so realistic she doesn't wanna have sex with me.

If I had a dollar every time a baby boomer insulted me...

I could afford a house in the economy they ruined

If I had a dollar for every time I said a racist comment, I would have 0 dollars

Because some black guy would have robbed me

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

A guy goes in an Adult Store in Western Sydney and asks for an inflatable doll.

The guy behind the counter says, Male or female ?

The customer says, Female.

The counter guy asks, Black or white?

The customer says, White.

The counter guy asks, Christian or Muslim?

The customer says, What does religion have to do with it?

The counter guy says, The Muslim one blows itself up.

If I had a Dollar,

If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked for change, I would still pretend to have not heard them.

If I had a dollar...

For every time I disappointed my family, I would have enough to make them proud.

You know why Dolly Parton has small feet?

Nothing grows in the shade.

If I had one dollar for every gender, I'd have one dollar.

Because women are objects.

^^^^^rememberthisisajoke

A man goes to a toy store to buy his daughter a Barbie doll for her birthday.

The salesman says, "We have Barbie Goes To the Dance for $19.99, Barbie goes Shopping at $19.99, Barbie goes Clubbing at $19.99, Barbie Goes To The Gym at $19.99, Cyber Barbie at $19.99, and Divorced Barbie at $499.99."

The father asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie $499.99 when all those other Barbies are selling for $19.99???"

"Well, sir," says the salesman, "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's money, Ken's furniture ..."

I have a "One dollar, one inch" rule with the ladies: you give me a dollar, you get an inch.

You give me three dollars, you get it all.

If I had a dollar for every time somebody called me stupid...

then I'd have $5.50

I wish I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if my hair really was ginger..

Then again I just wish people would talk to me

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me a feminist...

I would have 77 cents

Source: Male

I used to date a Russian doll

But I left her because she was full of herself.

What are the funniest doll jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Doll? Well, here are the best Doll puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Doll pick up lines to share with friends.

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