The Best 84 Doggy Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Doggy jokes. There are some doggy pet jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these doggy doggie style puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Doggy Jokes and Puns
Doctor is examining a young women...
and says:
- Everything seems OK, but I am worried about those bruised knees and elbows.
- Oh, it's because of all the doggy style sex I have.
- Don't you know any other position?
- I do, but my doggy doesn't.
What's a rancher's favorite sex position?
Doggy style. You can't really do much else to a horse.
From my not quite 3yr old cousin.
Q:Why did the doggy cross the road?
A:To get to the bone!
Q:Why did the bone cross the road?
A: To get away!
Quebec lovers
Why do Quebecers like to make love doggy style?
So they can both watch the hockey game at the same time!
A young boy and his father are walking through a park when they see two dogs doing the dirty.
Boy: "Daddy, what are they doing?"
Dad: "Oh...uh...they're just making a puppy."
Later that night daddy and mommy put the boy to sleep and go off to their bedroom. After a couple glasses of wine they get at it. Suddenly the door opens and their son is standing at the foot of the bed.
Boy: "Daddy, what are you and mommy doing?"
Dad: "Oh...We're just making a baby."
Boy: "Well turn mommy over because I want a puppy."
Men shouldn't feel bad if they only last 8 minutes doing it doggy style...
Because that's almost an hour in dog time...
Doggy Diet book
Did you hear about the new doggy diet book? It is titled "Shitzu shouldn't eat"
freecopon4u
Doggy Style ;-)
Why do meth heads like to do it doggy style?
So they can both peek out the blinds.
Do you speak English?
Do you speak English?
-Yes!
Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast...
A married couple are having sex...
Their child walks in on them.
When the child asks what they are doing, the parents respond with "We're making you a sibling".
The child then says, "I want a dog. Do it doggy style."
You can explore doggy doggie reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean doggy woof dad jokes. There are also doggy puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog?
He was told to get a long little doggy...
What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the missionary position to doggy style?
A sexual revolution.
Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog?
He wanted to git a long little doggy.
[NSFW]We should learn three things from dogs.
1. Love
2. Trust
3. Faithfulness
And what we actually learn?
Doggy style
A cowboy was shopping for a wiener dog
some told him to get a long little doggy.
Doggystyle
How do i like doggystyle sex?
Ruff
New Sex Position called Raging bull... [NSFW]
1st get your girl in doggy style and slide in real deep.
Now lean forward and wrap your arms around her real deep.
Now here's the bull part, bring your lips near her ear and whisper another girl's name and see how long you can stay on. Good luck.
Pluto's Orbit
Did you know that Pluto's orbit around the sun is so large that it didn't even complete a single Pluto year between the time we found it and declassified it as a planet? It takes 248 earth years for 1 Pluto year. Isn't that horrible? Put it this way. We named a planet after a cartoon dog, and before it even turned one in its doggy years, we put it down. Isn't that horrible?
An Arabian guy at the airport
- name?
- ahmed al-rhazib.
- sex?
- three to five times a week.
- no, no… i mean male or female?
- male, female, sometimes camel.
- holy cow!
- yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- but isn't that hostile?
- horse style, doggy style, any style!
- oh dear!
- no, no! deer run too fast
My girlfriend likes it from behind while she's smoking a blunt.
Snoop Doggy style.
Doggy Sherlock Holmes was investigating a case...
Doggy Sherlock: Any leads?
Doggy Watson: Yes, Holmes. Two.
Doggy Sherlock: Excellent, lets take them and go walkies.
Based on statistics
The most used sexual position among married couples is doggy style...
The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.
A dad is having sex with mom doggy style...
Mom: "I want a girl, I want a girl, I want a girl".
Dad: "I will give you a girl, I will give you a girl".
Son is watching through the door.
Listening.
Then runs in the bedroom, jumps on the bed, gets in the doggy position.
And says: "I want a bike and colored pencils".
What's a married couples favorite sex position?
Doggy Style.
The husband sits up and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.
NSFW Sex joke: New sex position called the bull rider.
Ride a girl doggy style, grab her hair, and whisper in her ear "I have aids".
See how long you can last.
How does Scooby Doo like his Sex?
Ruff
No, doggy style you idiot.
A recent survey has revealed that the favorite sex position is "Doggy Style"...
With married couples in mind, that's where the husband has to sit up and beg, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.
I like doggy style
It's a position I can really get behind
A small boy walks in on his parents having sex...
...he asks his parents what are they doing:
"We're making your sister "
"Do her doggy style, i want a puppy!"
Do you know the sex position called "rodeo"?
It's when you mount your partner doggy style, say "this is how your sister likes it as well" and try to stay in as long as you can.
The most popular sexual position when you're married is...
Doggy Style, the man begs while the woman plays dead.
I love it doggy style. But my wife always insists
...that I give her a treat afterwards.
What do doggystyle and driving in the rain have in common?
One wrong move and someone's gettin rear ended.
We usually do it doggy style
I beg and she rolls over and plays dead
Apparently, there is a protest today in favor of doggy style sex.
Now that's a protest I can get behind.
Doggystyle
When my wife wants to leave party too early and I don't, we aggreed on 15 minutes doggystyle xhen we get home. I throw sticks in the yard and she gets them back.
Goofy is the only Disney character who has had sex and has a child....
I bet it was doggy style.
How did the doggy scientist get into his secret lair?
Through a Lab-bra-door.
Bob was late to come to see his friend John at the bar
John: Dude, you're so late!
Bob: You won't believe what just happened to me. On my way here, I saw a girl tied to a train track. I untied her and we had sexy time together.
John: That sounds awesome dude!
Bob: Yeah, I know right. We did missionary, doggy, cowgirl etc. you name it.
John: Did you receive head?
Bob: Nah, couldn't find it.
Old mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard, to fetch her old doggy a bone.
When she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
This girl once told me she wanted me to do it doggy style.
So I licked her face, crapped on the carpet and bit her mailman in the ankle
Do you speak english?
- Yes
- Name?
- Abdul bal-Rhasib
- Sex?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't it hostile?
- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast.
My wife and I were having some marital issues but we have moved on.
We have been doing it doggy style a lot lately, too much if you ask me. I guess I shouldn't complain. Her strap on, her rules.
Well me and the wife have doggy sex every night.
I sit at the end of the bed panting and begging and she rolls over and plays dead
Do you guys like jokes about the exchanging of bodily fluids for doggy biscuits?
Well, urine for a treat!
The most popular sex position among married couples is doggy style -
He is on all fours begging and she plays dead.
Miranda had scraped knees...
..."Why have you got those marks on your knees?" her friend asked.
"Oh! It's from making love. Doggy style."
"Well, why don't you change positions then?"
"I'm willing, but the dog isn't."
Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
He wanted to get along little doggy.
A PUPPY WANTED TO KNOW WHO ITS FATHER WAS.
The mother said, " i dont know son, we were doing doggy style"
Girlfriend: "Can you do doggy style a little bit rougher?"
Me: "So you want me to bark as we're doing it?"
An English kid, a Spanish kid and a Chinese kid are in nursery school together...
The teacher asks: What does the doggy say?
The English kid replies: Woof Woof!
The Spanish kid replies: Guau Guau!
The Chinese kid replies: Sizzle Sizzle!
Sherlock bones the worlds greatest doggy detective has solved yet another mystery with the help of his partner Dr.Dogson, but how did they do it?
Smellementary.
I walked in on my parents as a kid...
As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
Rodeo Sex
When you're making love to your girl doggy style and bend over and whisper in her ear, this is how your sister likes it too , and try and hold on for 8 seconds.
Why did the cowboy buy a weiner dog
Cause somebody told him to get a long lil doggy
Studies show that doggy is the most common sex style among married couples.
The husband sits and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.
I tried to start a doggy day care, but it failed within the first couple days.
I only had a ruff idea of what I was doing.
What do you call a dog's fashion sense?
Doggy style.
What's the roughest sex position?
Doggy.
A man and wife were 'fixing the cat flap' and started arguing about whether they should switch to doggy style or cowgirl
It was a bone of contention.
My girlfriend told me she wanted to try doggy style...
Now that's an idea I can get behind.
They say that the most powerful way for a woman to have sex is doggy style...
Then they're really bangin' on all fours.
TIL that women's vaginas are their second mouths
This is probably why my wife puts peanut butter on it and it starts calling "Here doggy doggy".
Yo mama so dumb
When i ask her if she wanna do doggy style she starts barking
A little boy walks in on his parents having sex.
The dad later explained to the boy that they were making a baby. The boy thought for a moment and said, Can you do doggy style? I want a puppy instead.
Conversation between friends at a bar
Guy: Hey have a shot of this
Girl: no man I dont drink but anyway is that tequila or vodka
Guy: why do you know soo much about alcohol when you don't want to have any
Girl: Do you know what doggy style is ?
Guy: ( with a big smile) yea
Girl: 69 ?
Guy: obviously yea
Girl: why do you know soo much about sex when you know you're not going to have any
What sex position is banned in Alabama?
Doggy style.
Never turn your back on family.
Next time you are with your girl try this new position.
It's called the bucking bronco. It's where you go doggy style then lean over and whisper another girls name in her ear and see how long you can stay on...
An arab at airport
An arab at airport:
\- Name?
\- Abdul Al Razhib.
\- Sex?
\- Three to five times a week.
\- No, no, I mean: male or female?
\- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.
\- Holly cow!
\- Yes... cow, dog, even sheep.
\- But isn't that hostile?
\- Horse style, doggy style, any style!
\- Oh, dear!
\- No, no... deer run to fast!
Two dicks
I walked past a K9 police unit ghe other day and said to my girlfriend: Look, this doggy is walking around with two dicks.
To my credit, both policemen checked under the doggo before attempting to chase me.
Wife's favorite position
I've discovered that my wife's favorite position in bed is doggy style....
I sit up and beg while she rolls over and plays dead...
Q : "Do you the difference between 5 minutess of sodomy and 5 minutes of doggy style ? "
A : "No"
Q : "Do you have 10 minutes ?"
My girlfriend is mad because I could only last 2 minutes in bed
In my defense it was doggy style so it's more like 14 minutes.
I bought a dachshund on a cowboy's recommendation.
He told me to get a long little doggy.
My wife dosent like doggy style anymore
Because last time while fetching the ball she fell into the lake
I ask my wife if we could try to do it doggy style...
She rolled over and played dead
Did you know it's a sin to have sex before marriage?
Except if you do it doggy style...as all dogs go to heaven.
Why did the cowboy have to buy a dachshund?
He had to get a long little doggy.
My wife and I only have sex one way
It's so boring just the one way we have sex. It's called doggy style.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
My wife and I do it doggy style....
###I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead.
Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
Someone told him to get a long little doggy.
My wife and I were walking out of a nice restaurant, and there was a young teen in shabby clothes asking people for their doggy bags
We immediately gave him ours. I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes - what gave me away?"
I replied, "Obviously, your parents."
Me wow you barely lasted 2 minutes!
Him well it was DOGGY STYLE so that's 14 in dog minutes
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the doggy weiner jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working doggy barks piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.