Doggy Jokes

These are 66 doggy jokes and hilarious doggy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about doggy that are good jokes for kids and friends.

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Short Doggy Jokes
Doggy One Liners
More Doggy Jokes

Best Short Doggy Jokes

These are our top doggy puns. Have fun with a good doggy joke in English with simple doggy humour.

New Doggy I've just gone and bought a dog off a Blacksmith!!!
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door!
I tried to start a doggy day care, but it failed within the first couple days. I only had a ruff idea of what I was doing.
My son recently asked me why those 2 doggies were playing piggyback. I said one is sick and the other is pushing him to the hospital.
Sherlock bones the worlds greatest doggy detective has solved yet another mystery with the help of his partner Dr.Dogson, but how did they do it? Smellementary.
Doggy Sherlock Holmes was investigating a case... Doggy Sherlock: Any leads?
Doggy Watson: Yes, Holmes. Two.
Doggy Sherlock: Excellent, lets take them and go walkies.
Doggy Diet book Did you hear about the new doggy diet book? It is titled "Shitzu shouldn't eat"
From my not quite 3yr old cousin. Q:Why did the doggy cross the road?
A:To get to the bone!
Q:Why did the bone cross the road?
A: To get away!
Old mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard, to fetch her old doggy a bone. When she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
TIL that women's vaginas are their second mouths This is probably why my wife puts peanut butter on it and it starts calling "Here doggy doggy".
Why did the man stop getting Korean takeaway? He was beginning to cat on to their doggy ingredients.

Doggy joke, Why did the man stop getting Korean takeaway?

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these doggy jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of doggy puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Doggy One Liners

Which doggy dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with doggy?

Why did the cowboy have to buy a dachshund? He had to get a long little doggy.
I bought a dachshund on a cowboy's recommendation. He told me to get a long little doggy.
Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? Someone told him to get a long little doggy.
What does a diplomat and a good doggy have in common? They both want treaties.
Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund? He wanted to get along little doggy.
How did the doggy scientist get into his secret lair? Through a Lab-bra-door.
Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He was told to get a long little doggy...
Doggies just call it style.
A cowboy was shopping for a wiener dog some told him to get a long little doggy.
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy" until you find a big rock.
Give a man a fish.. C'mon..give it... bad doggy..
What does snoop doggy dog use to do his laundry? Answer in comments.
Why do Canadians always do it d**...? So they can both watch the hockey game.
Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund? So he could get a long little d**....
Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund? To get a long little d**...

Doggy joke, Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

Cheerful Doggy Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!

What funny jokes about doggy to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make doggy prank.

Doctor is examining a young women...

and says:
- Everything seems OK, but I am worried about those bruised knees and elbows.
- Oh, it's because of all the d**... s**... I have.
- Don't you know any other position?
- I do, but my doggy doesn't.

What's a rancher's favorite s**... position?

d**.... You can't really do much else to a horse.

quebec lovers

Why do Quebecers like to make love d**...?
So they can both watch the hockey game at the same time!

A young boy and his father are walking through a park when they see two dogs doing the dirty.

Boy: "Daddy, what are they doing?"
Dad: "Oh...uh...they're just making a puppy."
Later that night daddy and mommy put the boy to sleep and go off to their bedroom. After a couple glasses of wine they get at it. Suddenly the door opens and their son is standing at the foot of the bed.
Boy: "Daddy, what are you and mommy doing?"
Dad: "Oh...We're just making a baby."
Boy: "Well turn mommy over because I want a puppy."

Men shouldn't feel bad if they only last 8 minutes doing it d**......

Because that's almost an hour in dog time...

Do you speak English?

Do you speak English?
-Yes!
Name?
- Abdul al-Rhazib.
s**...?
- Three to five times a week.
No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
But isn't that hostile?
- Horse style, d**..., any style!
Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast...

A married couple are having s**......

Their child walks in on them.
When the child asks what they are doing, the parents respond with "We're making you a sibling".
The child then says, "I want a dog. Do it d**...."

What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the m... to d...?

A s**... revolution.

Why did the cowboy adopt a w**... dog?

He wanted to git a long little doggy.

Pluto's Orbit

Did you know that Pluto's orbit around the sun is so large that it didn't even complete a single Pluto year between the time we found it and declassified it as a planet? It takes 248 earth years for 1 Pluto year. Isn't that horrible? Put it this way. We named a planet after a cartoon dog, and before it even turned one in its doggy years, we put it down. Isn't that horrible?

An Arabian guy at the airport

- name?
- ahmed al-rhazib.
- s**...?
- three to five times a week.
- no, no… i mean male or female?
- male, female, sometimes camel.
- holy cow!
- yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- but isn't that hostile?
- horse style, d**..., any style!
- oh dear!
- no, no! deer run too fast

My girlfriend likes it from behind while she's smoking a blunt.

Snoop d**....

Based on statistics

The most used s**... position among married couples is d**......
The husband sits and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

A dad is having s... with mom d......

Mom: "I want a girl, I want a girl, I want a girl".
Dad: "I will give you a girl, I will give you a girl".
Son is watching through the door.
Listening.
Then runs in the bedroom, jumps on the bed, gets in the doggy position.
And says: "I want a bike and colored pencils".

What's a married couples favorite s**... position?

d**....
The husband sits up and begs, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

A recent survey has revealed that the favorite s... position is "d..."...

With married couples in mind, that's where the husband has to sit up and beg, while the wife rolls over and plays dead.

A small boy walks in on his parents having s**......

...he asks his parents what are they doing:
"We're making your sister "
"Do her d**..., i want a puppy!"

Do you know the s**... position called "rodeo"?

It's when you mount your partner d**..., say "this is how your sister likes it as well" and try to stay in as long as you can.

The most popular s**... position when you're married is...

d**..., the man begs while the woman plays dead.

What do d**... and driving in the rain have in common?

One wrong move and someone's gettin rear ended.

We usually do it d**...

I beg and she rolls over and plays dead

Apparently, there is a protest today in favor of d... s....

Now that's a protest I can get behind.

Bob was late to come to see his friend John at the bar

John: Dude, you're so late!
Bob: You won't believe what just happened to me. On my way here, I saw a girl tied to a train track. I untied her and we had s**... time together.
John: That sounds awesome dude!
Bob: Yeah, I know right. We did m**..., doggy, c**... etc. you name it.
John: Did you receive head?
Bob: Nah, couldn't find it.

This girl once told me she wanted me to do it d**....

So I licked her face, crapped on the carpet and bit her mailman in the ankle

Do you speak english?

- Yes
- Name?
- Abdul bal-Rhasib
- s**...?
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
- Holy cow!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isn't it hostile?
- Horse style, d**..., any style!
- Oh dear!
- No, no! Deer runs too fast.

My wife and I were having some marital issues but we have moved on.

We have been doing it d**... a lot lately, too much if you ask me. I guess I shouldn't complain. Her s**..., her rules.

Well me and the wife have doggy s**... every night.

I sit at the end of the bed panting and begging and she rolls over and plays dead

Do you guys like jokes about the exchanging of b**... fluids for doggy biscuits?

Well, u**... for a treat!

Miranda had scraped knees...

..."Why have you got those marks on your knees?" her friend asked.
"Oh! It's from making love. d**...."
"Well, why don't you change positions then?"
"I'm willing, but the dog isn't."

A PUPPY WANTED TO KNOW WHO ITS FATHER WAS.

The mother said, " i dont know son, we were doing d**..."

An English kid, a Spanish kid and a Chinese kid are in nursery school together...

The teacher asks: What does the doggy say?
The English kid replies: Woof Woof!
The Spanish kid replies: Guau Guau!
The Chinese kid replies: Sizzle Sizzle!

I walked in on my parents as a kid...

As a little boy I walked in on my parents having i**... one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked "Could you do mommy d**... next time? I want a puppy."

Rodeo s**...

When you're making love to your girl d**... and bend over and whisper in her ear, this is how your sister likes it too , and try and hold on for 8 seconds.

Why did the cowboy buy a w**... dog

Cause somebody told him to get a long lil doggy

Studies show that doggy is the most common s**... style among married couples.

The husband sits and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead.

What do you call a dog's fashion sense?

d**....

My girlfriend told me she wanted to try d**......

Now that's an idea I can get behind.

A little boy walks in on his parents having s**....

The dad later explained to the boy that they were making a baby. The boy thought for a moment and said, Can you do d**...? I want a puppy instead.

What s**... position is banned in Alabama?

d**....
Never turn your back on family.

Next time you are with your girl try this new position.

It's called the bucking bronco. It's where you go d**... then lean over and whisper another girls name in her ear and see how long you can stay on...

An arab at airport

An arab at airport:
\- Name?
\- Abdul Al Razhib.
\- s**...?
\- Three to five times a week.
\- No, no, I mean: male or female?
\- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.
\- Holly cow!
\- Yes... cow, dog, even sheep.
\- But isn't that hostile?
\- Horse style, d**..., any style!
\- Oh, dear!
\- No, no... deer run to fast!

Two d**...

I walked past a K9 police unit ghe other day and said to my girlfriend: Look, this doggy is walking around with two d**....
To my credit, both policemen checked under the doggo before attempting to chase me.

Wife's favorite position

I've discovered that my wife's favorite position in bed is d**.......
I sit up and beg while she rolls over and plays dead...

Q : "Do you the difference between 5 minutess of s... and 5 minutes of d... ? "

A : "No"
Q : "Do you have 10 minutes ?"

My girlfriend is mad because I could only last 2 minutes in bed

In my defense it was d**... so it's more like 14 minutes.

My wife dosent like d**... anymore

Because last time while fetching the ball she fell into the lake

I ask my wife if we could try to do it d**......

She rolled over and played dead

Did you know it's a sin to have s**... before marriage?

Except if you do it d**......as all dogs go to heaven.

My wife and I only have s**... one way

It's so boring just the one way we have s**.... It's called d**....
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

My wife and I do it d**.......

###I sit up and beg, and she rolls over and plays dead.

My wife and I were walking out of a nice restaurant, and there was a young teen in shabby clothes asking people for their doggy bags

We immediately gave him ours. I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes - what gave me away?"
I replied, "Obviously, your parents."

Me wow you barely lasted 2 minutes!

Him well it was d**... so that's 14 in dog minutes

My girlfriend wanted to try d**......

Apparently, slobbering all over her and dragging my a**... along the carpet wasn't what she had in mind..

Doggy joke, What does a diplomat and a good doggy have in common?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these doggy jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.