The Best 59 Dog Tail Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Dog Tail jokes. There are some dog tail barks jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dog tail chihuahua puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Dog Tail Jokes and Puns
What did the dog say when he rubbed sandpaper on his tail? Rough, rough!
A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog.
He then picks up the dog by it's tail and spins it around over his head. The bartender exclaims "What on earth are you doing?!" The blind man replies "Oh, I'm just looking around."
What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed?
Looks like we got a tail.
An Odd Funeral...
A guy is just coming out of the store when he sees an unusual funeral procession moving down the road. In front is a black hearse, which is followed at a respectable distance of about 30 feet by another, slow moving hearse. Behind the two walks a man with a dog. And some twenty feet behind him is a line of 100 more men, walking just as slowly.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches the man with the dog as they pass, falling into step beside him.
"This may not be the best time..." he begins "but I've never seen a funeral like this, so I need to ask what's going on. Who's in the first hearse?"
"My wife" says the man with the dog, mournfully. "She yelled at me, so Rover attacked and killed her." As if it feels guilty, the dog lowers its head and tail at the mention of his name.
"Oh.. oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss." Says the second guy. He walks alongside in respectful silence for a while before, once more, curiosity gets the better of him. "So whose in the second hearse?"
"My mother-in-law." comes the reply. "She tried to help my wife, so Rover killed her too."
"Oh my god, that's awful!" says the other guy, and walks alongside in respectful silence for a moment more. Eventually, he looks up and says "I don't suppose I could borrow your dog, could I?"
"Get in line." answers the guy.
The intelligent dog
Roxy, a large black Labrador, was sitting up in his seat at the movies, wagging his tail, growling at the villain and barking excitedly at the hero's escapades. The woman in the seat behind him was intrigued.
Excuse me, she said, tapping Roxy's owner on the shoulder, that dog is extraordinary. I've never seen anything like it!
Yes, he's surprised me, too, said the owner. He hated the book.
Dogs playing poker
Why are dogs bad at poker?
Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand.
Why did John's dog win the poker tournament?
Because he's a Doberman.
A blind man walks into a store with his guide dog
Takes the dog by the tail and starts to spin it around. A guard immediately comes to him and demands why is he doing this, to which the blind man answers: "No need to get agressive I'm just looking around!"
Where to dogs who lost their tails go?
To a retail store.
Where does a dog go when he loses his tail
a retail store
The ghost of a dog with no tail walks into a bar after closing time..
Barman: Sorry, we don't retail spirits after hours.
A dog lays by the railroad tracks..
And falls asleep with his tail hanging over them a little. A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too.
Moral of the story? Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.
This is my grandpa's favorite joke. He has Alzheimers and can't remember much, but this joke is on constant replay and you can see the old twinkle in his eye when he tells it.
You can explore dog tail wag reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dog tail labrador dad jokes. There are also dog tail puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A blind man walks into a grocery store....
He comes through the doors swinging a dog in circles above his head by the tail. A clerk then asks,
"Sir is there anything I can help you with?"
The man replies,
"No thanks I'm just takin' a look around."
I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself,
Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.
A blind man and his guide dog go into a supermarket
He picks the dog up by the tail and starts swinging it around his head.
The manager runs to him and asks what he's doing...?
"Just having a look around thanks" he replies.
Smart dog
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!".
The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
A blind man walks into a shop...
...he picks his guide dog up by the tail and starts to swing it around his head. "Can I help you!?" Asks the shop assistant. "No thanks" said the man, "I'm just looking around."
I watched my dog chase his tail in circles for ten minutes.
It amazed me how stupid and easily entertained he was. Then I realized I had just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.
A blind man walks into a bookstore with his seeing eye dog...
He picks the dog by the tail and starts swinging him around.
A clerk sees this and asks,"Sir may I help you?"
"No thanks, we're just looking around."
Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?
He was taking a look around
A blind man and his guide dog walk into a shop
He grabs the dog by the tail and starts swinging it around his head.
The shop assistant, baffled, approaches the man and asks if everything's ok.
"Fine", replies the blind man.
"I'm just looking around".
A dog comes upon a set of train tracks
As the pup crosses the tracks a train comes by and runs over the dogs tail, causing the tip of his tail to fall off.
Saddened by his loss, the dog turn around to sniff his lost appendage.
As he is sniffing his tail another train comes by and cuts his head off.
The end.
The moral of the story:
Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail!
Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?
The retail store
A blind man walks into a bar with his sight dog..
He then takes the dog and starts spinning it around by the tail. The bartender asks "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The blind man replies "Just looking around."
What does a dog do when it loses it's tail?
Goes to a retail store to find another one.
My dog lost his tail
So I took him to the retail store to get another one.
A man took his dog to the vet...
A man took his dog to the vet. "Doctor" he said sadly "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail". The vet stepped back "Why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome".
A man took his dog to the movie with him...
...and during the movie the dog howled with laughter at the jokes, wagged his tail merrily and at the end put his paws together and applauded. The movie staff saw this and were bewildered so after the movie one of the ushers approached the man and said to him, "We were all amazed, your dog really seemed to enjoy the movie." And the man said, "I know, it's so weird! He hated the book."
Where do you take a dog when it loses its tail?
The veterinarian
Entering a friend's home for his weekly poker game, Slick is amazed to see a dog sitting at the table.
He's even more surprised when the dog wins the first hand with a full house, and takes the second with a royal flush.
"This is unreal," Slick says after the dog wins the next two hands. "He's got to be only dog in the world that can play like that."
"Aw, he's not so great," says the host. "There's a dog in Las Vegas who doesn't wag his tail every time he gets a good hand."
A blind guy walks into a store with a seeing-eye dog.
All of a sudden he grabs the dog by the tail and start spinning it around over his head. Horrified, a shopkeeper rushes over to him and says sir, sir are you OK?
The blind guy says sure, I'm just looking around.
When does a dog have wheels?
When its tail is a wagon.
Where do dogs get new tails?
The retail store
A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He picks it up by the tail and starts swinging it around his head
What are you doing?! shouts the barman.
Just having a look around
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
how do you cheer up a dog that's lost its tail?
retail therapy
Did you know that dogs chase their tails clockwise in the southern hemisphere and counter-clockwise in the northern hemisphere?
It's called the Corgi-olis Effect.
My girlfriend told me to stop laughing at my dog.
She said, "As I recall, you spent plenty of hours chasing tail too."
A Blind Man And His Guide Dog Walks In To A Grocery Store.
He picks up his guide dog by the tail, and starts swinging it around over his head.
One of the employees ask: "Uhm.. Can I help you sir?"
The man replies: "No, I'm just having a look around!"
A ghost of a dog walks into a bar. He tells the story of how he was shot to bits and lost his tail. After asking if there was anyone to sew it back on the barman replied...
"I'm sorry, we don't retail spirits here"
A blind man with a seeing eye dog, walks in to a bar
He picks the dog up by the tail and swings it around the room. When the bartender asks why, the man responds, "I was just taking a look around."
A blind man comes into a store.
He takes his guide dog by the tail and spins it over the head. The saleswoman asks: "Can i help you Sir?" "No thank you", the man replies, "ill just have a look around."
Dog Problems
My dog was having problems with his tail so I sent him to obedience school. A few weeks later there wasn't any improvement so I rang the school and found out he'd been wagging
Where does a dog go when it loses it's tail and needs a new one?
A retail store.
A blind man walks into a bar with a seeing eye dog...
He then grabs the dog by the tail and starts swinging it around his head.
Bartender: Whoa, Whoa man! What the hell are you doing?!!
Blind guy: Relax, I'm just taking a look around.
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store.
The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."
The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."
You ever hear about the canine pilot from WWI?
He got into a dog fight but thankfully he shook his tail.
How do you know if a dog is male or female?
Stroke its head.
If he wags his tail, it's male.
If she wags her tail, it's female.
My Dog's Pretty Good In Making Ends Meet
By Chasing His Tail!
I'll show myself out....
A dog who lost its tail goes where ?
to a retail store
Blind man walks into the grocery store with his seeing eye dog...
The man walks to the middle of the store, bends down, picks his dog up by the tail and begins swinging the dog around in a circle over his head.
The manager of the store approaches him and hesitantly asks, Sir, may I help you? . To which the blind man responds, No thanks. We're just looking around.
A dog lost its tail.
So it went to the retail center.
I used to have a dog that was only a head.
Very happy dog. One day I was drinking a beer and he wanted a sip. Who am I to deny him?
He had a sip and a body grew on his head! So I gave him a drink. A leg formed! Another drink, another leg, then another, and another. A final drink and he had a tail!
By now he was really drunk and I'm sure he had to pee, so I let him outside.
He staggered outside and into the road, where he was hit and killed.
I learned something that day.
It's better to quit while you're ahead.
Nothing says, "I don't take you seriously"...
...like your dog wagging it's tail while you scold it.
[Long] A redneck was walking with its dog...
A redneck was walking with his dog, when another dog starts to pick a fight with the redneck's dog, the redneck's dog with just one bite kills the other dog.
A lot of people get scared, cause there's a lot of blood and carnage, them a guy asks the redneck "What is your dog's breed?"
To wich the Redneck responds "Before we cut the tail it was a gator"
True Story: I found a note on my doorstep today.
Opening it, I was excited to see a riddle!
It read:
"What dog has legs
But cannot run.
A tail,
It cannot wag,
A mouth,
But cannot bark,
A nose,
But cannot smell?"
I love riddles. Before reading the answer, I sat down with my wife and we spent a while pondering the possible answers.
Eventually, curiosity overcame us. We turned over the note to see the answer.
It read:
"Your dog.
I'm really sorry.
I ran it over."
I hate riddles.
I went to the vet to get the tails of both my dogs chopped off…
My mother in law is coming to town and I wanted her to know nobody was happy to see her.
Every dog has his day...
But when he has a broken tail, he has a weak-end
Dog with two assholes.
There were two police officers standing outside of a club with a dog beside them. Every so often someone comes from inside the bar, lifts the dog's tail and goes away. After a while, a police officer asks a guy "Why do you people keep looking under our dog's tail?" The guy answers "I heard there is a dog with two assholes standing outside the club.
Every dog has its day….
….but only a dog with a broken tail has a weak end.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dog tail vets jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working dog tail canine piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.