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Dog Tail Jokes

72 dog tail jokes and hilarious dog tail puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dog tail that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Dog Tail Short Jokes

Short dog tail jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dog tail humour may include short dog fur jokes also.

  1. I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, and I thought to myself, Wow, dogs are easily entertained. Then I realized : I just watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes.
  2. Where do dogs go when they need a new tail? A re-tail store.
    I think it's such a cute joke, it's one of my favs :)
  3. Did you know that dogs chase their tails clockwise in the southern hemisphere and counter-clockwise in the northern hemisphere? It's called the Corgi-olis Effect.
  4. In the northern hemisphere, small dogs chase their tails clockwise, but in the southern hemisphere, they chase them counter-clockwise. This is due to the corgiolis effect.
  5. I watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes And thought, "Wow, dogs are so dumb!" Then i realised i just watched a dog chase its tail for 10 minutes.
  6. A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He picks it up by the tail and starts swinging it around his head What are you doing?! shouts the barman.
    Just having a look around
  7. clever dog Bloke walks into a pub and sees a dog playing poker with 3 men. "He must be a clever dog" the bloke says, "not really" says the barman "whenever he gets a good hand he wags his tail"
  8. What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed? Looks like we got a tail.
  9. You ever hear about the canine pilot from WWI? He got into a dog fight but thankfully he shook his tail.
  10. Nothing says, "I don't take you seriously"... ...like your dog wagging it's tail while you scold it.

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Dog Tail One Liners

Which dog tail one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dog tail? I can suggest the ones about dog sitting and dog smell.

  1. Where does a dog go when he loses his tail a retail store
  2. Where does a dog go when it loses it's tail and needs a new one? A retail store.
  3. Where do dogs get new tails? The retail store
  4. Where to dogs who lost their tails go? To a retail store.
  5. Where do dogs go when their tail falls off? The retail store
  6. Where does a dog go when his tail falls off? The retail store
  7. A dog who lost its tail goes where ? to a retail store
  8. Where do you take a dog when it loses its tail? The veterinarian
  9. My Dog's Pretty Good In Making Ends Meet By Chasing His Tail!
    I'll show myself out....
  10. Every dog has his day... But when he has a broken tail, he has a weak-end
  11. A dog lost its tail. So it went to the retail center.
  12. What does a dog do when it loses it's tail? Goes to a retail store to find another one.
  13. Why don't dogs play poker? Because they have very obvious tails
  14. Every dog has its day…. ….but only a dog with a broken tail has a weak end.
  15. Why do dogs wag their tails? 'Cause nobody else will do it for them.

Dog Tail joke, Why do dogs wag their tails?

Uproarious Dog Tail Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about dog tail you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog treat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dog tail pranks.

What did the dog say when he rubbed sandpaper on his tail? Rough, rough!

A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog.

He then picks up the dog by it's tail and spins it around over his head. The bartender exclaims "What on earth are you doing?!" The blind man replies "Oh, I'm just looking around."

An Odd f**......

A guy is just coming out of the store when he sees an unusual f**... procession moving down the road. In front is a black hearse, which is followed at a respectable distance of about 30 feet by another, slow moving hearse. Behind the two walks a man with a dog. And some twenty feet behind him is a line of 100 more men, walking just as slowly.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches the man with the dog as they pass, falling into step beside him.
"This may not be the best time..." he begins "but I've never seen a f**... like this, so I need to ask what's going on. Who's in the first hearse?"
"My wife" says the man with the dog, mournfully. "She yelled at me, so Rover attacked and killed her." As if it feels guilty, the dog lowers its head and tail at the mention of his name.
"Oh.. oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss." Says the second guy. He walks alongside in respectful silence for a while before, once more, curiosity gets the better of him. "So whose in the second hearse?"
"My mother-in-law." comes the reply. "She tried to help my wife, so Rover killed her too."
"Oh my god, that's awful!" says the other guy, and walks alongside in respectful silence for a moment more. Eventually, he looks up and says "I don't suppose I could borrow your dog, could I?"
"Get in line." answers the guy.

The intelligent dog

Roxy, a large black Labrador, was sitting up in his seat at the movies, wagging his tail, growling at the villain and barking excitedly at the hero's escapades. The woman in the seat behind him was intrigued.
Excuse me, she said, tapping Roxy's owner on the shoulder, that dog is extraordinary. I've never seen anything like it!
Yes, he's surprised me, too, said the owner. He hated the book.

Dogs playing poker

Why are dogs bad at poker?
Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand.
Why did John's dog win the poker tournament?
Because he's a Doberman.

The ghost of a dog with no tail walks into a bar after closing time..

Barman: Sorry, we don't retail spirits after hours.

A dog lays by the railroad tracks..

And falls asleep with his tail hanging over them a little. A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too.
Moral of the story? Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.
This is my grandpa's favorite joke. He has Alzheimers and can't remember much, but this joke is on constant replay and you can see the old twinkle in his eye when he tells it.

A blind man walks into a grocery store....

He comes through the doors swinging a dog in circles above his head by the tail. A clerk then asks,
"Sir is there anything I can help you with?"
The man replies,
"No thanks I'm just takin' a look around."

A blind man and his guide dog go into a supermarket

He picks the dog up by the tail and starts swinging it around his head.
The manager runs to him and asks what he's doing...?
"Just having a look around thanks" he replies.

Smart dog

A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!".
The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"

A blind man walks into a shop...

...he picks his guide dog up by the tail and starts to swing it around his head. "Can I help you!?" Asks the shop assistant. "No thanks" said the man, "I'm just looking around."

A blind man walks into a bookstore with his seeing eye dog...

He picks the dog by the tail and starts swinging him around.
A clerk sees this and asks,"Sir may I help you?"
"No thanks, we're just looking around."

A blind man and his guide dog walk into a shop

He grabs the dog by the tail and starts swinging it around his head.
The shop assistant, baffled, approaches the man and asks if everything's ok.
"Fine", replies the blind man.
"I'm just looking around".

A dog comes upon a set of train tracks

As the pup crosses the tracks a train comes by and runs over the dogs tail, causing the tip of his tail to fall off.
Saddened by his loss, the dog turn around to sniff his lost appendage.
As he is sniffing his tail another train comes by and cuts his head off.
The end.
The moral of the story:
Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail!

A blind man walks into a bar with his sight dog..

He then takes the dog and starts spinning it around by the tail. The bartender asks "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The blind man replies "Just looking around."

A man took his dog to the vet...

A man took his dog to the vet. "Doctor" he said sadly "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail". The vet stepped back "Why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome".

A man took his dog to the movie with him...

...and during the movie the dog howled with laughter at the jokes, wagged his tail merrily and at the end put his paws together and applauded. The movie staff saw this and were bewildered so after the movie one of the ushers approached the man and said to him, "We were all amazed, your dog really seemed to enjoy the movie." And the man said, "I know, it's so weird! He hated the book."

Entering a friend's home for his weekly poker game, Slick is amazed to see a dog sitting at the table.

He's even more surprised when the dog wins the first hand with a full house, and takes the second with a royal flush.
"This is unreal," Slick says after the dog wins the next two hands. "He's got to be only dog in the world that can play like that."
"Aw, he's not so great," says the host. "There's a dog in Las Vegas who doesn't wag his tail every time he gets a good hand."

A blind guy walks into a store with a seeing-eye dog.

All of a sudden he grabs the dog by the tail and start spinning it around over his head. Horrified, a shopkeeper rushes over to him and says sir, sir are you OK?
The blind guy says sure, I'm just looking around.

When does a dog have wheels?

When its tail is a wagon.

A Blind Man And His Guide Dog Walks In To A Grocery Store.

He picks up his guide dog by the tail, and starts swinging it around over his head.
One of the employees ask: "Uhm.. Can I help you sir?"
The man replies: "No, I'm just having a look around!"

A blind man walks into a bar with a seeing eye dog...

He then grabs the dog by the tail and starts swinging it around his head.
Bartender: Whoa, Whoa man! What the h**... are you doing?!!
Blind guy: Relax, I'm just taking a look around.

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store.

The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."
The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

How do you know if a dog is male or female?

s**... its head.
If he wags his tail, it's male.
If she wags her tail, it's female.

Blind man walks into the grocery store with his seeing eye dog...

The man walks to the middle of the store, bends down, picks his dog up by the tail and begins swinging the dog around in a circle over his head.
The manager of the store approaches him and hesitantly asks, Sir, may I help you? . To which the blind man responds, No thanks. We're just looking around.

I used to have a dog that was only a head.

Very happy dog. One day I was drinking a beer and he wanted a sip. Who am I to deny him?
He had a sip and a body grew on his head! So I gave him a drink. A leg formed! Another drink, another leg, then another, and another. A final drink and he had a tail!
By now he was really drunk and I'm sure he had to pee, so I let him outside.
He staggered outside and into the road, where he was hit and killed.
I learned something that day.
It's better to quit while you're ahead.

[Long] A r**... was walking with its dog...

A r**... was walking with his dog, when another dog starts to pick a fight with the r**...'s dog, the r**...'s dog with just one bite kills the other dog.
A lot of people get scared, cause there's a lot of blood and carnage, them a guy asks the r**... "What is your dog's breed?"
To wich the r**... responds "Before we cut the tail it was a gator"

True Story: I found a note on my doorstep today.

Opening it, I was excited to see a riddle!
It read:
"What dog has legs
But cannot run.
A tail,
It cannot wag,
A mouth,
But cannot bark,
A nose,
But cannot smell?"
I love riddles. Before reading the answer, I sat down with my wife and we spent a while pondering the possible answers.
Eventually, curiosity overcame us. We turned over the note to see the answer.
It read:
"Your dog.
I'm really sorry.
I ran it over."
I hate riddles.

I went to the vet to get the tails of both my dogs chopped off…

My mother in law is coming to town and I wanted her to know nobody was happy to see her.

Dog with two a**....

There were two police officers standing outside of a club with a dog beside them. Every so often someone comes from inside the bar, lifts the dog's tail and goes away. After a while, a police officer asks a guy "Why do you people keep looking under our dog's tail?" The guy answers "I heard there is a dog with two a**... standing outside the club.

A blind man walks into a bar…

…and his dog leads him over to a table. He suddenly picks the dog up by the tail and starts swinging him around over his head.
The bartender runs over and yells What the h**... are you doing, man!? To which the blind man replies…
Oh I'm just looking around .

Blind man walks into a store

He grabs his guide dog by the tail and lifts it into the air then spins it around his head.
Setting the dog back on the floor he turns to leave. The manager stops him and asks Can I Help You? …. Nope, I'm just looking around.

Dog Tail joke, I watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes

jokes about dog tail