Dog Smell Jokes

59 dog smell jokes and hilarious dog smell puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dog smell that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Dog Smell Short Jokes

Short dog smell jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dog smell humour may include short dog sniffing jokes also.

  1. I remember this from a Monty Python "My dog has no nose!" Says one man. His friend asks "well how does he smell?" "Stinky!"
  2. I've been training my dog to alert me when he smells people who follow a creepy pseudo-religious leader who makes them believe that their salvation lies in giving him money. It's sniffacult work.
  3. What do you call a dog that can't hear, can't see, can't smell, can't taste, and can't feel? Nonsense!
  4. A Scotsman is out walking with his girlfriend. They walk by a hot dog stand, and the girl exclaims, "Mmm, that smells so good!"
    "Oh," the Scotsman answers, "do you want to go walk past it again?"
  5. Most deadly joke in the world My dog has no nose!
    How does he smell?
  6. Oldest joke in the world So my friend adopts a dog, and he tells me it's got no nose. "No nose?" I said, " How does it smell?"
    He says,
  7. My wife got angry when I said her new candle smelled like wet dog and mildew... But I was just giving my two scents on the topic
  8. My dog has no nose My dog has no nose.
    How does it smell you may ask.
    It doesn't it has no nose
  9. Beethoven was going deaf and he still composed great music. But hey it's not that amazing. Dogs mainly rely on their sense of smell anyways, right?
  10. If a dog has no nose, how does he smell? Like a dog.

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Dog Smell One Liners

Which dog smell one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dog smell? I can suggest the ones about dog fur and dog tail.

  1. My dog has no nose, how does he smell? Terrible.
  2. Dog paws smell like Fritos. What to horse hooves smell like? A broken nose.
  3. A: My dog has no nose. B: How does he smell?
    A: Awful.
  4. If it looks like a dog, smells like a dog, and tastes like a dog... Then your a monster
  5. My dog doesn't have a nose. How does he smell? one might ask.
  6. While dogs can smell fear Printers can smell deadlines
  7. What do you call a dog that can smell everything? Omniscent
  8. My dog has no nose. How does it smell? Awful
  9. My dogs farts smell like a bakery. It was bread in him.
  10. Didja hear dogs are being trained to smell the virus? That will be an enjoyable Lab test.
  11. My dog smells better than my wife. Prove me wrong.
  12. What smells worse than wet dog A wet human
  13. Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
    Ortoise: How does he smell?
    Gemma: Awful!
  14. My dog has synesthesia, how does he smell? Purple.
  15. What's up dog? Eww it smells like updog

Dog Smell Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about dog smell you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog smiles jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dog smell pranks.

To the tune of "Walking in a Winter Wonderland":
Dog tags ring, are you listening'?
In the lane, snow is glistening.
It's yellow, not white I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
"Avoid where I pee, it's my property.
Marked up as my winter wonderland."
In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go, man,
So all the world will know it's mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fence post,
flows my natural incense boast,
"Stay off of my turf, this small piece of earth,
I mark it as my winter wonderland."

two men were walking thier dogs...

Two men, tom and bob were walking their dogs when they smell a delicious scent. "You smell that?" tom asked. Bob replied, "the heck I do, let's find where it's coming from! . After 5 minutes of searching, the scent led them to a restaurant. Tom said "let's get something to eat!" they both were hungry but bob reminded him that they couldn't enter with their dogs! so tom said "it's cool, follow my lead!" he puts on shades and is stopped at the door "no dogs allowed sir!" tom insisted "oh it's my seeing eye dog let me in" "it is? But that's a dachshund !"
"Yes they're using them now because of their amazing sense of smell"
"Very well come in." bob puts on shades and also stopped before entering
"No dogs allowed sir!" the waiter heckled.
"Oh please forgive me, it's my seeing eye dog" bob apologized.
"A chihuahua?!!!" the waiter shouted
"what??? THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

My dog smells...

...Like Philippino food.

Why is a dog man's best friend and not a wife?

Because the later you come home, the more excited the dog gets to see you.
Because if you smell like another women, the dog gets curious.
Don't believe me? Lock the dog and the wife in the garage for an hour and see for yourself.

Is that dog p**...?

A guy is walking down the street and sees a brown lump ahead. "Is that dog p**...?" He thinks to himself.
He approaches it to examine if it is dog p**.... "Well it looks like dog p**...." He bends down and sniffs it. "Smells like dog p**...." He grazes the substance with his finger. "Feels like dog p**...." His finger scoops up a part of the p**..., and he licks it. "Tastes like dog p**....... Yep, this is dog p**... alright."
"Well, good thing I didn't step in it."

A dog is better than a wife.

A dog finds it interesting when you smell of another dog. A dog thinks it's funny if you come home drunk. Still not convinced? Lock your dog and your wife in the shed for an hour and note, when you let them out, which is most pleased to see you.

Two kids are watching 2 dogs making love.

The female kid asks:
> How do the dogs know when they want to have s**...?
> The boy: I don't know... Maybe they smell it.
They sit and watch them a little more. And after a while the female kid asks:
>Do you have a runny nose?

It smells like up-dog in here.

A Cop and His Trained Dog Stop me on a Sidewalk

The dog sniffs around me for a bit and barks to the officer.
The officer walks up to me and says, "Where are the drugs? The dog says he could smell them off you."
I reply, "Drugs? What drugs? You're the one talking to dogs."

Girl farts at the dinner table

A young man introduces his fiancee to his parents. While they were having dinner the girl gently farts. Annoyed by the funny smell the father in law yells:
The girl is relieved that the future in-law blamed the dog from under her chair but after a few minutes she lets one more rip. The boy's father is getting nervous:
-Rocky!! be careful now!!
Worried no more the girl fires another one. Feeling exasperated, the boy's father yells:
-Rocky! Get out of there fast! She's gonna sh*t on you!


Something smells like updog.

A young korean couple are lying in bed...

When the guy starts f**... nonstop.
The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"
"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."
"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."

I heard that they have dogs now that can smell if you've got cancer.......

but I just thought that must be the most depressing dog ever to take on a walk. "Your dog really likes me!!!" "I'm so sorry."

Boyfriend meets girlfriend's parents for the first time and does a f**... at the dinner table...

...thankfully the girlfriend's dad didn't hear it and upon smelling it shouts "Champ!" at their dog sat underneath the dinner table.
A little later the boyfriend really needs to f**... again, and since the parents are blaming the dog he decides he's safe to let another one out quietly. His girlfriend notices the side-lift action this time and gives him a knowing glare but, again, her dad just shouts "Champ!"
Like clockwork, a little later the boyfriend's bowels can't keep it in and once again he needs to f**..., and since the parents aren't noticing he just goes for another silent but deadly. This time the dad stands up and shouts "Champ! Will you get out from under there before he does a p**... on your head!!"

Why dogs are better than women.

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..

7. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

8. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?"

9. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.
10. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

True Story: I found a note on my doorstep today.

Opening it, I was excited to see a riddle!
It read:
"What dog has legs
But cannot run.
A tail,
It cannot wag,
A mouth,
But cannot bark,
A nose,
But cannot smell?"
I love riddles. Before reading the answer, I sat down with my wife and we spent a while pondering the possible answers.
Eventually, curiosity overcame us. We turned over the note to see the answer.
It read:
"Your dog.
I'm really sorry.
I ran it over."
I hate riddles.

Two guys walking down the road see a pile of dog p**...

One says, "hey that looks like dog p**...". Then he bends over and touches it. He says, "feels like dog p**...". The other bends over and sniffs it. Says, "smells like dog p**...". Then he sticks his finger in it and tastes it. He says "tastes like dog p**...". The other one says, "Well, good thing we didn't step in it!!"
Note: little boys crack right up all the way through with this joke. Something about p**... is enormously funny to boys.

Two dogs are sitting in a field.

First dog turns to the second dog and says d**... man you smell like s**...! Have you been rolling in s**...?
Wow. That is foul. Is it like a compulsive behavior?
Do you do it to cover your scent up, like to ward off predators?
Is it some weird f**... that gets you off?
Then why would you roll in such pungent p**...!?
So I can sit in peace and not be bothered. Figures it wouldn't work on a German Shepherd

Dog p**...

Two men are walking on the sidewalk until one of them stops.
"Hey, what's that brown thing on the ground?" he asks his friend.
The second man looks closer to the sidewalk. "Huh, looks like dog p**...," he says.
"Are you sure?"
"Hold on." The man leans down and smells the item. "Ugh, it smells like dog p**...."
"Yeah, but are you positive?"
"Hold on." The man picks up the item and licks it. "Augh! It tastes like dog p**...!" He immediately drops it.
"Okay, so it's dog p**...," the first man says. "Good thing we saw it."
"I know," said his friend. "We could have stepped in that."