Dog Pound Jokes
40 dog pound jokes and hilarious dog pound puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dog pound that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dog Pound Short Jokes
Short dog pound jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dog pound humour may include short dog bite jokes also.
- The World Health Organisation has confirmed canines do not carry the virus and can be released from pounds. WHO let the dogs out.
- What weighs more: A pound of feathers, or a pound of dogs? The dogs. A pound can house many of them and even a pomeranian weighs at least a few pounds.
- It was reported that Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, John Entwistle, and Keith Moon just released a number of canines from the local pound It can now be said that The Who let the dogs out
- It ain't right If you go by the pound to pick up a rescue dog you are treated like a big hero, but go by the women's shelter to find your next girlfriend and...……...
- Did you hear about the old lady who adopted a couple of pound dogs? Turns out it was two mutts for her.
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Dog Pound One Liners
Which dog pound one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dog pound? I can suggest the ones about hound dog and dog fighting.
- How are dog catchers paid? By the pound!
- How are dog catchers in the UK paid? By the pound.
- What's a dog's least favorite currency? the pound
- How does a dog catcher gets paid? by the pound.
- Why was my dog afraid to step on the scale? He didn't want to see another dog pound!
- What's a dog's least favorite unit of measurement? Pounds
- Why is a fat dog so afraid of the dog catcher? Because they're paid by the pound.
- My Asian friend bought a dog today! Guess how much they got it for? $5.50 per pound.
- Where do dogs go to find lost friends? The lost and pound.
- Why do dogs support the EU? To get rid of the pound
- what sign on your phone does a dog hate the most The pound sign.
- What happens when two dogs breed in a pound? Dog pound dog pounds dog pound dog.
- What do you call the process in which you bring a dog home from the pound? A dog chin!
- Why did the comedian go to the dog pound? To work on his put-downs.
- Why are there so many dogs at the pound? Because no one wants them.
Dog Pound Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dog pound you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog wash jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dog pound pranks.
I got a call from the pound
They wanted to tell me that they had picked up my dog because it was chasing a kid on a bike.
I said " That kid is a liar because not only does my dog not own a bike; he doesn't even know how to ride one yet!
During the 3 days of the Woodstock festival, over 400,000 people attended
The town of Bethel had prepared beforehand and many vendors gathered there to sell food, water, and other necessities.
It's estimated that 2.7 million gallons of water was sold over the weekend,
along with 750,000 cans of beer,
100,000 hot dogs,
15,000 pounds of granola,
and a bar of soap
Topical Jokes for 6/1
A video has surfaced of Justin Bieber saying the n-word. People are calling it the least offensive Justin Bieber video ever.
In Illinois, a 115-pound-woman won a hot dog eating contest, after she ate 28 hot dogs. The judges then congratulated the 138-pound-woman.
The NSA is reportedly collecting millions of images per day to build a f**...-recognition database. The NSA is cataloguing the photos in a massive online database -- it's called Instagram.
The Dog Pound
Three dogs were in a cage at the city pound: A Pit Bull, a German Shepherd and a Great Dane. The Pit Bull told the others "I was eating my dinner and my owner's two year old niece tried to grab my food, so I ripped out her t**.... Now they are going to put me to sleep."
The German Shepherd said "I chewed up my master' shoes yesterday and now they are going to put me to sleep."
The Great Dane said "My master is a beautiful twenty two year old woman. The other day she came out of the shower and bent over in front of me, so I mounted her and did my thing."
"So are you in here to be put to sleep too?" asked the others.
"No, I'm here to have my nails clipped!"
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why.
The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations.
The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever.
The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late.
Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a 17-pound trout and had to take it home. If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mom would've been angry. That's why I'm so late".
The teacher promptly takes him to the principal's office and explains the story to the principal.
The principal tells Johnny about his own trip to school that day.
He says, "I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me. I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me. He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs. He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear. The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me. What do you think of that, Johnny?"
Johnny replies, "Oh yeah, that's my dog Sparky. That's his third bear this week."