The Best 35 Dog Name Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dog Name jokes. There are some dog name terrier jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dog name german shepherd puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dog Name Jokes and Puns

I named my dog "5 miles."

So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."

My neighbor has two German Shepards that he has named "Rolex" and "Timex"....

They're watch dogs

My dog, Grandpa

The other day, my professor asked me what I'd name my dog if I got one.
I said, well I'd name him Grandpa.

That way, when people asked how my day was, I can say things like:

Oh man, I forgot to feed Grandpa today.

I feel bad for leaving Grandpa outside last night.

Grandpa pooped in the living room again.

I had to put grandpa down today.

Grandpa ran away again.

I caught Grandpa humping my friend's leg again.

And people who don't know me, won't know what I'm talking about.

I named my dog WiFi

Because I stole it from my neighbor

I used to have a dog with no legs named Cigarette

And every now and again I would take him out for a drag.


Canine Names

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"

"What are your dogs names ?"

"Calvin and Klein"

"Like the underwear?"

"They are boxers."

My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it.

Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.

I was chopping up onions and my kids started to cry.

Onions is a stupid name for a dog anyway.

When I get a dog, I am going to name him Franz Ferdinand

So I can take him out
(I tried)

So I was doing donuts in my car..

And a cop pulls me over. Now I know what you're thinking, who names their dog Donuts?

You can explore dog name dog reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dog name rottweiler dad jokes. There are also dog name puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My legless dog is named cigarette…

Every day I take him out for a drag.

I named my dog Syndrome..

So when he's Misbehaving I yell "Down Syndrome"

^^^Stolen

I named my dog 6 miles

so i can tell people that i walk 6 miles every single day.

The Lost Bible

One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"

"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Why did a man name his legless dog, Cigarette?

Cause he had to take him out for a drag every night.

I named my dog Stains

You get weird looks when you yell "come Stains!" at the park.

My sons cheezits joke.

You should name the dog Cheezits! Then if he starts sneezing, you can call him Sneezits!

I laughed and thought his 8 year old genius needed shared with the world.

Dog names

A guy asked his blonde friend, What are the names of your dogs?

The she responded that one was named Rolex and the other Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Helloooooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."


An Odd Funeral...

A guy is just coming out of the store when he sees an unusual funeral procession moving down the road. In front is a black hearse, which is followed at a respectable distance of about 30 feet by another, slow moving hearse. Behind the two walks a man with a dog. And some twenty feet behind him is a line of 100 more men, walking just as slowly.

His curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches the man with the dog as they pass, falling into step beside him.

"This may not be the best time..." he begins "but I've never seen a funeral like this, so I need to ask what's going on. Who's in the first hearse?"

"My wife" says the man with the dog, mournfully. "She yelled at me, so Rover attacked and killed her." As if it feels guilty, the dog lowers its head and tail at the mention of his name.

"Oh.. oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss." Says the second guy. He walks alongside in respectful silence for a while before, once more, curiosity gets the better of him. "So whose in the second hearse?"

"My mother-in-law." comes the reply. "She tried to help my wife, so Rover killed her too."

"Oh my god, that's awful!" says the other guy, and walks alongside in respectful silence for a moment more. Eventually, he looks up and says "I don't suppose I could borrow your dog, could I?"

"Get in line." answers the guy.

There once was a woman who had 100 children....

She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.
Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation.
One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed.

Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

So the cops caught me doing doughnuts in my car today.

I know what you're thinking. Who the hell names their dog doughnuts

Why did a mathematician named his dog Cauchy?

Let me test math awareness of this sub. This was told by a professor in a class.

Answer: because it left residue at every pole!

A reporter goes to the Middle East for an interview.

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"

Reporter: "Name?"

Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."

Reporter: "Sex?"

Man: "Three to five times a week."

Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"

Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."

Reporter: "Holy cow!"

Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."

Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"

Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."

Reporter: "Oh dear!"

Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

My son wants to name our next dog Naked

This way he can tell his friends he walked Naked around the block

There was once a man who had 100 kids.

There was once a man who had 100 kids. He was not a creative man, so he named the kids after the number of their birth. One of his kids, 90, had a few kids when he grew older. One day, they found a dog on the road. They took him in, and named him This. This was a very good and well behaved dog. Dad, I'm going to go feed This. Hey dad, I'm taking This for a walk. One day, This went missing. The kids went out to search for him, when they saw him on the side of the road, with skid marks all over his body. Years later, the kids still remembered and missed This.
Moral of the story:
Only 90s kids will remember This.

I have two Dobermans, named Rolex and Timex.

Watch dogs

Jim and his sex life...

A man named Jim has been married to his beautiful wife for 15 years. They have two wonderful kids, a dog and a nice home.

You see, Jim works really hard at his job, but lately his sex life has suffered because of it.

Jim goes to his doctor to ask why he is so tired all the time.

Jim says to his doc "you know, I work 16 hour days and when I come home I just have no time to be intimate with my wife. I have no energy! What do I do!"

His doctor replies "Okay Jim I can see you're a little bit overweight so maybe you need some exercise to increase that stamina. Every day for 30 days I want you to walk a mile. I'll phone you after 30 days"

So Jim starts walking that day. He walks one mile every day, hoping this will help.

On the 30th day his doctor phones.

Doc: "Jim! Did you do what I told you?"

Jim: "Yeah I did doc."

Doc: "Well how's your sex life? Did it improve?"

Jim: "I wouldn't know. I'm 30 miles from home!"

Told to me by my grandmother

I named my dog Shark to make him sound tough...

For some reason, people go into a panic when he runs off on the beach.

I named my first dog "What".

Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked "What is the name of your first pet?" and I kept answering "Yes."

I once had a dog with no legs. His name was Cigarette.

Every morning I'd take him out for a drag.

I asked my dog if he'd ever heard of Pavlov

He said, "I can't say for sure, but the name rings a bell."

There was a guy who was terrible at naming thing ...

His dog was named dog, his cat was named cat and so on. One day, the man's sister was having twins and in a long family tradition, the babies uncle had to chose the names. Absolutely mortified, the twin girl and boy were born and it was time;

What did you choose for the girl?

Denise

Oh man, that's not so bad. What did you choose for the boy?

Denephew

Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside?

Because 9/11 was an inside dog.

I ran over Five Miles this morning

Looking back, Five Miles is a terrible name for a dog.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dog name labrador retriever jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dog name doberman piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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