Dog Name Jokes

118 dog name jokes and hilarious dog name puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dog name that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Dog Name Short Jokes

Short dog name jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dog name humour may include short hound dog jokes also.

  1. I named my dog "5 miles." So that I could frequently say, "I am going to walk 5 miles now."
  2. My neighbor has two German Shepards that he has named "Rolex" and "Timex".... They're watch dogs
  3. I used to have a dog with no legs named Cigarette And every now and again I would take him out for a drag.
  4. "What are your dogs names ?" "Calvin and Klein"
    "Like the underwear?"
    "They are boxers."
  5. My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it. Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.
  6. So I was doing donuts in my car.. And a cop pulls me over. Now I know what you're thinking, who names their dog Donuts?
  7. Why did a man name his legless dog, Cigarette? Cause he had to take him out for a drag every night.
  8. My sons cheezits joke. You should name the dog Cheezits! Then if he starts sneezing, you can call him Sneezits!
    I laughed and thought his 8 year old genius needed shared with the world.
  9. My rescue dog has no legs, so I named her cigarette... and every night we go out for a drag.
  10. Why did a mathematician named his dog Cauchy? Let me test math awareness of this sub. This was told by a professor in a class.
    Answer: because it left residue at every pole!

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Dog Name One Liners

Which dog name one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dog name? I can suggest the ones about dog sitting and dog owner.

  1. My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex They're his watch dogs
  2. I named my dog wifi Because I stole it from my neighbor
  3. I bought two Rottweilers and named them Rolex and Omega They're watch dogs...
  4. When I get a dog, I am going to name him Franz Ferdinand So I can take him out
    (I tried)
  5. My legless dog is named cigarette… Every day I take him out for a drag.
  6. I named my dog Syndrome.. So when he's Misbehaving I yell "Down Syndrome"
  7. I named my dog 6 miles so i can tell people that i walk 6 miles every single day.
  8. I named my dog Stains You get weird looks when you yell "come stain!" at the park.
  9. I have two Dobermans, named Rolex and Timex. Watch dogs
  10. I ran over Five Miles this morning Looking back, Five Miles is a terrible name for a dog.
  11. Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was "ARGHAGHRRAH!"
  12. I bought two Dobermans named Rolex and Timex. They're watch dogs.
  13. My dog's name is Minton. Today he ate my shuttlecock,Bad Minton
  14. I bought a new dog yesterday. I've named him Rolex…….he's a watchdog
  15. My neighbor named his dog "Rolex"... He's a watch dog.

Great Dog Name Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about dog name you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog breed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dog name pranks.

These dogs

A man was walking his two dogs.
Someone asked, "What are their names?"

Man replied, "Rolex and Omega!" "Wow! I have never heard those names for dogs.

Man said "These are watchdogs.

I have a dog named Syndrome.

But it gets kinda awkward when he jumps on someone and I have to shout out, DOWN SYNDROME!

I bet my friend $50 I could have s**... with any girl anytime I wanted. Easy $50!

I named my dog 'any girl'.

Interviewing Arab for US visa

Interviewing an arab for a visa

Consul : What is your name?
Arab: Abdul Aziz
Consul: s**...?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul: I mean, male or female?
Arab : Both male and female and sometimes even camels.

Consul: Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul: Man,........isn't it hostile?
Arab : Horse style, d**..., any style
Consul: Oh..........dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast

An Odd f**......

A guy is just coming out of the store when he sees an unusual f**... procession moving down the road. In front is a black hearse, which is followed at a respectable distance of about 30 feet by another, slow moving hearse. Behind the two walks a man with a dog. And some twenty feet behind him is a line of 100 more men, walking just as slowly.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches the man with the dog as they pass, falling into step beside him.
"This may not be the best time..." he begins "but I've never seen a f**... like this, so I need to ask what's going on. Who's in the first hearse?"
"My wife" says the man with the dog, mournfully. "She yelled at me, so Rover attacked and killed her." As if it feels guilty, the dog lowers its head and tail at the mention of his name.
"Oh.. oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss." Says the second guy. He walks alongside in respectful silence for a while before, once more, curiosity gets the better of him. "So whose in the second hearse?"
"My mother-in-law." comes the reply. "She tried to help my wife, so Rover killed her too."
"Oh my god, that's awful!" says the other guy, and walks alongside in respectful silence for a moment more. Eventually, he looks up and says "I don't suppose I could borrow your dog, could I?"
"Get in line." answers the guy.


A guy says to his friend "Man, I feel terrible. Last night I drank too much, came home and blew chunks."
Friend says "aw don't worry mate, that happens to all of us"
Guy says "you don't understand; my dog's name is 'Chunks'"

A man walks into a bar carrying a dog...

The dog has no legs. The bartender looks at the legless dog and asks the man, "What's your dog's name?" The man replies, "Cigarette." The bartender looks at him puzzled. "Why did you name him Cigarette?" The man replies, "Because every morning, I take him out for a drag."

Jim and his s**... life...

A man named Jim has been married to his beautiful wife for 15 years. They have two wonderful kids, a dog and a nice home.
You see, Jim works really hard at his job, but lately his s**... life has suffered because of it.
Jim goes to his doctor to ask why he is so tired all the time.
Jim says to his doc "you know, I work 16 hour days and when I come home I just have no time to be intimate with my wife. I have no energy! What do I do!"
His doctor replies "Okay Jim I can see you're a little bit overweight so maybe you need some exercise to increase that stamina. Every day for 30 days I want you to walk a mile. I'll phone you after 30 days"
So Jim starts walking that day. He walks one mile every day, hoping this will help.
On the 30th day his doctor phones.
Doc: "Jim! Did you do what I told you?"
Jim: "Yeah I did doc."
Doc: "Well how's your s**... life? Did it improve?"
Jim: "I wouldn't know. I'm 30 miles from home!"
Told to me by my grandmother

Once I had a dog...

Once I had a dog name Marlboro who didn't have any legs. Sometimes I'd take him out and we'd go for a drag

I have a dog named Lucky...

Sometimes he escapes so we have to go get Lucky.
And sometimes it'll be dark out so we'll be up all night to get Lucky.

My dog, Grandpa

The other day, my professor asked me what I'd name my dog if I got one.
I said, well I'd name him Grandpa.
That way, when people asked how my day was, I can say things like:
Oh man, I forgot to feed Grandpa today.
I feel bad for leaving Grandpa outside last night.
Grandpa pooped in the living room again.
I had to put grandpa down today.
Grandpa ran away again.
I caught Grandpa h**... my friend's leg again.
And people who don't know me, won't know what I'm talking about.

If the rapper Biz Markie had a female dog, he could name her...

...Miz Barkie
I'll stop

I feel bad jerking off on Christmas...

...but that's a s**... name to give a dog anyway.

Dog names

What do you name a male dog with no hind legs?

Two dogs meet on the street and sniff each other...

Finally one says, "I don't recall your name but your f**... familiar."

Dog names

A guy asked his blonde friend, What are the names of your dogs?
The she responded that one was named Rolex and the other Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Helloooooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs."

I want to get a dog and name it Syndrome.

So that every time he gets on my couch, I can yell "DOWN SYNDROME"

The whole "Pavlov's Dog Experiment" is such a load of bunk I'm sick of people bringing it up... this point just *hearing* the name "Pavlov" makes me mad.

There once was a woman who had 100 children....

She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.
Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation.
One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.

Canine Names

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"

I asked my dog if he'd ever heard of Pavlov

He said, "I can't say for sure, but the name rings a bell."

I named my first dog "What".

Only now did I just realize why the guy on tech support was getting so angry when he repeatedly asked "What is the name of your first pet?" and I kept answering "Yes."

What did they name the Chinese remake of "Cloudy with a Chance of meatballs"?

It's Raining Cats and Dogs

When I get a dog I am going to name it syndrome

Because when he jumps up on me I can shout "Down syndrome"

A pharaoh makes a reservation in a restaurant:

"Can I reserve a table for two?"
"Sure just give me a name."
"Would you spell it for me?"
"Bird, double triangle, wavy line, another bird, dog head, sun, scarab..."

An Indian Chief is sitting under a tree...

An Indian Chief and his son are sitting under a tree, looking out over the plains when his son asks: "Father, why is sister named, Running Deer?"
Chief: "Because, my son, when she was being born I looked out of the teepee and saw a deer running."
Son: "Father, why is brother called Charging Bull?"
Chief: "Because my son, when he was being born I looked out of the teepee and saw a bull running. Why do you ask, p**... Dog?

Why didn't the conspiracy theorist make his irreverently named pet sleep outside?

Because 9/11 was an inside dog.

I named my dog Shark to make him sound tough...

For some reason, people go into a panic when he runs off on the beach.

I've been running around screaming at random people that I've lost my virginity.

I'm starting to regret naming my dog that.

The Lost Bible

One day a devout preacher lost his favorite Bible while he was at a spiritual retreat in the mountains. He was devastated, and began to lose his faith. Three weeks later, a dog walked up to him after church service, carrying the Bible in its mouth. The preacher couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the dog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the dog. "Your name is written inside the cover."

I walked 10 miles today.

I knew I shouldn't have let my dad name my dog.

Why did Mickey Mouse name his dog Pluto?

Because he's not a planet.

If I ever get a dog, I'll name her Robbery

When I get to store, I'll tell "Get down, Robbery". Dog lies and the whole store too.

A Native American child asks his father how they choose children's names.

Father - "After you are born, we open the tepee and the first thing we see is what we name you. Like your eldest brother, Soaring Eagle, your sister, Falling Leaves, and your little brother, Grizzly Cub. Why do you ask Two Dogs h**...?"

When I was a kid I used to name my dog, "Dad"

Because he used to run away all the time

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would, too, if your name was hrhrnwodjbrke.

My son wants to name our next dog n**...

This way he can tell his friends he walked n**... around the block

If I had a dog...

... I would name it 5 miles. Then I could tell people I walk '5 miles' everyday.

A reporter goes to the Middle East for an interview.

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

A Pharoah makes a reservation at a ski resort...

Pharaoh: I'd like to make a reservation for two please.
Attendant: Absolutely. Can I get your name please.
Pharoah: "Neferneferuaten"
Attendant: ...can you spell that out for me?
Pharaoh: Bird, double triangle, wavy line, dog head, more bird, flames..."

My Dog named Kobe just died :(

The first kobe I know who passed.

Step 1: Name your dog miles.

Step 2: Brag that you walk miles every day

I was chopping up onions and my kids started to cry.

Onions is a s**... name for a dog anyway.

Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"

Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "s**...?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, d**..., any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."

A Native American boy goes to his chief with a question

Chief Running Bear, where do our names come from?
The Chief replied, You are named after the first thing we see in nature after you are born. Soon after I was born, my chief saw a bear running through the trees, so I am named Running Bear. Why do you ask, Two Dogs h**...?

A guy is walking, carrying a no-legged d**... in his arms.

A lady stops him:
What a cute dog! , she exclaims gleefully.. What's his name?
He doesn't have one , the guy replies. The lady is bewildered.
Oh, no! Poor thing... how come you didn't name him?
The guy shrugs.
If I'd call him, he wouldn't come anyway

There was a guy who was terrible at naming thing ...

His dog was named dog, his cat was named cat and so on. One day, the man's sister was having twins and in a long family tradition, the babies uncle had to chose the names. Absolutely mortified, the twin girl and boy were born and it was time;
What did you choose for the girl?
Oh man, that's not so bad. What did you choose for the boy?

I'm a bit of a wizard when it comes to talking to animals.

I have a dog called woof. I asked him it's name, and it said woof. I have a cat called meow, because it said meow when I asked her name. And I have a parrot called Whatsyourname.

When I was younger, I owned a dog named curiosity.

I also owned a cat but, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat

An arab at airport

An arab at airport:
\- Name?
\- Abdul Al Razhib.
\- s**...?
\- Three to five times a week.
\- No, no, I mean: male or female?
\- Yes... male, female, sometimes camel.
\- Holly cow!
\- Yes... cow, dog, even sheep.
\- But isn't that hostile?
\- Horse style, d**..., any style!
\- Oh, dear!
\- No, no... deer run to fast!

There was once a man who had 100 kids.

There was once a man who had 100 kids. He was not a creative man, so he named the kids after the number of their birth. One of his kids, 90, had a few kids when he grew older. One day, they found a dog on the road. They took him in, and named him This. This was a very good and well behaved dog. Dad, I'm going to go feed This. Hey dad, I'm taking This for a walk. One day, This went missing. The kids went out to search for him, when they saw him on the side of the road, with skid marks all over his body. Years later, the kids still remembered and missed This.
Moral of the story:
Only 90s kids will remember This.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You'd run away too if your name was nyuhddiaiahf.

I used to have a legless dog named cigarette

Every morning I would take him out for a drag

I got a female dog, so I named her "Life"

Because Life's a b**...

So the cops caught me doing doughnuts in my car today.

I know what you're thinking. Who the h**... names their dog doughnuts

Dude buys two dogs.

Names them One and Two. One ran away but he's still got Two.

I named my dogs Timex and Rolex ...

They're my watchdogs

Tables turned

We got a new dog. We named him Jesus, and he gets loose often. Occasionally I'll knock on my m**... neighbors door just to ask if _they've_ found Jesus.

Yesterday my friend bought a dog and a cat!

Today they named the dog Curiosity

A buddy of mine named is dog "5 miles"

Just to say he walked 5 miles.
But today he ran over 5 miles.

If I had a female dog....

I'd name her "Karma."

Why did the Alaskan man name his dog Frost?

Because frost bites.

I once had a dog with no legs. His name was Cigarette.

Every morning I'd take him out for a drag.

When I was little, my parents got me a Dog and a Cat for my birthday.

The next day we named the Dog curiosity.

My husband just told me I should name my next dog Peeve.

So I can tell everyone, This is my pet peeve.

jokes about dog name