The Best 16 Dog Knock Knock Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dog Knock Knock jokes. There are some dog knock knock shave haircut jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dog knock knock knocking door puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dog Knock Knock Jokes and Puns

Two dogs are sitting in a bar. The first says, "wanna hear a joke?" The second dog says "sure!" The first dog says "knock knock." The second says...

WOOF WOOF WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!!

So a cop knocked on my door this morning.

He asked, 'sir we believe your dog has been chasing a boy up the road on his bike.'

I replied, 'sorry officer, you must have the wrong house. My dog doesn't own a bike.'

Totally sick of idiots letting fireworks off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!!

Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!

A dog is talking to his owner. Dog: Tell me a joke

Dog: Tell me a joke

Man: Don't be silly, you're a dog

Dog: Oh, go on

Man: You're a dog, you won't understand

Dog: Do it anyway, pleeeeese

Man: OK. Knock Knock

Dog: Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof……….

My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.

Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.

That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."

"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.

"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."


Q: If your dog was barking on the front door and your wife knocking on the back door, who should you let in first?

A: The dog, because at least it would shut up once it got in.

A blonde woman dyes her hair red....

A blonde woman dyes her hair red because she's tired of the blonde jokes. One day she stops by a farm and asks the farmer, "If I can count how many sheep you have, can I keep one?" The farmer reluctantly agrees. After some counting, the blonde woman says, "there is 124 sheep in your farm." Shocked, the farmer counts them. Sure enough, there are 124 sheep. The woman picks one up and takes it to her car. Right when she's about to leave, the farmer knocks on her window and asks,"Ma'am, if I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

A vacuum salesman knocked on my door this morning

When I opened my door, before I could even talk to him, he dumped a bucket of dog shit on my carpet

He then said if this vacuum cleaner doesn't clean your carpet within 2 minutes, I will personally eat whatever's left of the shit

To which I replied well you better be hungry because my electricity has been cut off since 5am

3 women meet for brunch after a wild night...

1st woman says "girls I got so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks".

2nd woman says "you think that's bad? After I dropped you two off, I drove home. I was so hammered I ended up driving through my garage door and kept going. Destroyed my garage, my husband says it's going to cost 5 grand to fix".

3rd woman goes "When I got home I decided to take a bath and light some candles. I was so drunk, I passed out, knocked over the candles and ended up burning down my whole house".

1st woman exclaims "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog!"

Tables turned

We got a new dog. We named him Jesus, and he gets loose often. Occasionally I'll knock on my Mormon neighbors door just to ask if _they've_ found Jesus.

My neighbor. She's single. She's shapely & beautiful and she lives right across the street.

I watched her as she got home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street, up my driveway and knocked on my door.

I opened the door, she looked at me and said, I just got home, and I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and have fun tonight. Are you doing anything?

I quickly replied, Nope, I'm free!

Great she said. Can you watch my dog?

You can explore dog knock knock paws reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dog knock knock pawing dad jokes. There are also dog knock knock puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A blind man walks into a convenient store with his seeing-eye dog

And he's walking around when all of the sudden, he picks his dog up by the leash and starts swinging it around, knocking everything over.

The cashier runs over and starts yelling
"Sir! Sir! What the hell are you doing!?"

The blind guy puts his dog down and says
"Oh, I'm just looking around."

Two dogs are laying in their front room

First dog says to the second dog: Hey, do you want to hear a joke?
Second dog: Yeah, go on then.
First dog: Knock, knock.
Second dog: Woof, woof, woof, woof!

The police knocked on my door the other night...

...and informed me that they were there to take my dog away. Apparently there had been complaints that he was chasing down and barking at my neighbors' son on his bike.

I happen to know, however, that my dog doesn't ride a bike.

3 guys come back late from a night of drinking...

They met for brunch for the next day.

Guy 1: I drank way to much, first thing I did when I got home I blew Chunks...

Guy 2: That's nothing, I wrapped my car around a tree on my way home.

Guy 3: I beat all of you, I was arguing with my wife and knocked a candle over! It destroyed the whole house.

It went silent for a minute.

Guy 1: I don't think you guys understand. Chunks is my dog.

A cop just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bikes.

My dogs don't even own bikes...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dog knock knock knocker jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dog knock knock doggie piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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