Dog Fur Jokes
23 dog fur jokes and hilarious dog fur puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dog fur that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Dog Fur Short Jokes
Short dog fur jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dog fur humour may include short dog tail jokes also.
- You can call a dog a fur baby and nothing happens, but I call OND CHILD a skin dog and suddenly I'm the WORST taxidermist in the state.
- Many people call their animals "fur babies" but, As soon as I start calling children "skin dogs", suddenly I'm the worst pediatrician in this hospital!
- My dog is vegan but he is kind of a hypocrite about it. He has a fur coat that he always wears.
- I like my women like I like my dogs With fur not hair, on my leash, and frothy at the mouth
- After robbing a house I was informed to flee the scene. So I picked up their dog and ruffled it's fur.
- If I made a Mobius s**... out of black and white dog fur, would it result in eternal dalmation?
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Dog Fur One Liners
Which dog fur one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dog fur? I can suggest the ones about dog smell and dog sitting.
- Why do Ivan Pavlov's dogs have the shiniest and softest fur? Repeated conditioning.
- What did Beethoven the dog shed in a moment of genius? Fur Elise
- What do you call a dog who loves children s**... his fur? A petophile.
Dog Fur Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dog fur you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog food jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dog fur pranks.
My girlfriend's dog came running up to us for a cuddle.
"I love you Freddy," she said, s**... his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
She said, "I don't think so, I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."
My girlfriend's dog sprinted up to us wanting a cuddle.
"I love you, Henry," she said, s**... his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
"I don't think so," she replied, "I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."
A guy finds his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth.
The rabbit is dead and the guy panics.
He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house.
He gives it a bath, blow dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stammers and says, "Um... no... what happened?"
The neighbor replies, "We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!"
I found my dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit was dead and I panicked
I took the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into the house. I gave it a bath, blow dried its fur and put it back into the cage at the neighbor's house hoping they would think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor asked me, "Don, did you hear that Fluffy died?"
I said, "Um... no... what happened?"
The neighbor replied, "We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!"
A Man Was Lost In The Desert
A man was lost in the desert for days and days and days and was crawling on his hands and knees. He had heat s**..., sun s**..., everything s**... and in maybe a few minutes he would be dead.
In the distance he saw a mirage, he thought. He saw someone coming towards him but he hadn't seen anyone for days. The middle of no where, so he thought this can't be true.
And as he looked, it looked as if it was an Eskimo with a dog sled and eight husky dogs in front. And he thought, 'The sun must be making me crazy, it must be a mirage.' But as it came closer, he could make out the sound of the dogs barking and he could see the furs on the Eskimo.
And he thought, 'My goodness, I'm actually saved! It's not a mirage after all!'
Soon, he could feel the dogs l**... his face and he could see the Eskimo standing right before him. "It's a mircale! I'm saved," he said. "I've been lost in the desert for days!" he said to the Eskimo.
And the Eskimo replied, "And you think YOU'RE lost."
The neighbor's pet rabbit
A guy finds his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth.
The rabbit is dead and the guy panics.
He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house.
He gives it a bath, blow dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stammers and says, "Um... no... what happened?"
The neighbor replies, "We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!"
An Olympic swimmer...
...is on a cruise ship, when it hits a reef and sinks. Bobbing in the waves, he spies an island in the distance, makes for it, and barely gets ashore. All he finds on the isle are fruit trees, a female sheep and a big dog. The fruit trees provide sustenance, but he starts to feel lonely. The sheep has luxurious fur, beautiful eyes and long lashes that she shyly bats at him. When he approaches her, the dog viciously attacks and repels him. This goes on for months, until he can hardly bear it.
One day he sees another ship sinking at sea. Swimming out, he sees a woman thrashing in the waves. He saves her as she's about to perish, and hauls her ashore. As luck would have it, she's absolutely gorgeous.
"I'm so grateful to you for saving my life...I'll do anything you ask, as a way to repay you."
The swimmer can't believe his luck. "Anything?"
The young woman smiles coyly. "Anything your heart desires."
"Can you take that big dog over there for a walk?"
A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow...
A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow. When she gets home, she sees that his paws are frozen solid, and caked with ice! The next day she takes her dog to the vet, and asks
"can you shave my dog's paws so that snow doesn't get stuck in his fur?" The vet responds
"Shaving isn't the best option for dog paws, you should go to the drugstore and use some Nair shampoo instead." At the drugstore, the woman goes to check out with her bottle of Nair. Upon seeing this, the pharmacist says
"If you're using this on your legs, be sure not to shave for three days to avoid irritation." The woman responds
"No, it's not for my legs" The pharmacist says
"Well, if you're using this on your underarms, don't use deodorant for three days to avoid irritation there." The woman says
"Oh, no, it's for my Schnauzer." The pharmacist responds
"In that case, when you're done, don't ride your bike for a while."
-My barber told this one, today.
Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.
But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Yours sincerely,
The CAT
A guy finds his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth.
The rabbit is dead and the guy panics.
He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house.
He gives it a bath, blow dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stammers and says, "Um... no... what happened?"
The neighbor replies, "We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!"
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.
You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
You own a homemade fur coat.
The people on j**... Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
People hear your car a long time before they see it.