The Best 35 Dog Food Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Dog Food jokes. There are some dog food dog jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these dog food paddywhack puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Dog Food Jokes and Puns

The best part about being an abortionist..? [NSFW]

I haven't had to buy dog food in a long, long time.

My roommate keeps stealing my food so I ground up Pepper and made cupcakes with it.

Pepper was a dumb thing to name his dog anyway.

The Story of Creation as told by Dog

On the first day of creation, God created the dog.

On the second day, God created man to serve the dog.

On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog.

On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog.

On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it.

On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy, and the man broke.

On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.


Vegan hot dogs are basically the strap on of food .

You want the sausage but not the meat

So there was a shopkeeper who didn't liked Chinese

One day a Chinese man came to him and asked:

-I want buy dog food.

-I won't sell you dog food unless you come with dog.

-But I not want to come to shop with a dog.

Later he came with his dog and got his dog food.

The next day he came again and said:

-I want buy cat food.

-I won't sell you cat food unless you come with a cat.

-But I not want to come to shop with cat.

Later he came with his cat and got his cat food.

The next day he came with a paper bag:

-Put hand inside.


-Just put hand inside.






-I want buy toilet paper.

A man walks into a bar. Upon sitting down a busty blond waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.

He looks up at the menu above the bar. It says Hot Dog $2, Cheeseburger $5, and Handjob $10.

He asks the waitress, "Miss, are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

She winks and replies, "Why yes I am." He says, "Well wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

Day 19 of the experiment...

"Day 19 of the experiment, I have successfully conditioned my master to give me food,smile,and write in his book every time I drool." - Pavlov's Dog

A guy wants a dog

A guy wants a dog. He goes to one of his relatives if he has an extra dog. The relative says yes.
"Does he like kids?"said the guy
"Yes he does, but you can just give him dog food"

Inner Strength

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can resist complaints and excessively loud people,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs...

If you can do all of these things, then you are probably a dog

Whats the best thing about being an abortion docter?

You don't have to buy dog food.

Two poor men dream of going to America

They hear of American food and how great it is and, in particular, the hotdog.

So they work hard and save their money for many years before finally traveling to America. Upon arriving, they immediately run off the boat and to the nearest hotdog stand. Eagerly, they throw their money at the stand and both get their own hotdogs.

The two men stand there for a second, both looking a little disappointed. Finally, one looks up at the other, well, what part of the dog did you get?

You can explore dog food meat reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean dog food puppy dad jokes. There are also dog food puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What is a dog's favorite food?


from my very proud 5yo

During the 3 days of the Woodstock festival, over 400,000 people attended

The town of Bethel had prepared beforehand and many vendors gathered there to sell food, water, and other necessities.

It's estimated that 2.7 million gallons of water was sold over the weekend,

along with 750,000 cans of beer,

100,000 hot dogs,

15,000 pounds of granola,

and a bar of soap

A boy asked his dad, What's a condom meant for? The father replied...

Condiments are used to add flavor to certain foods, most commonly hot dogs and burgers.

What do you call a small dog that can store food?


Cats are just as smart/loving as dogs.

Unbeknownst to me my Mom had a stroke and collapsed one morning. Her cat came running up the steps and meowing non-stop. She ran up and down the steps until finally I followed her down to the kitchen. And there, sure enough - her food bowl was empty

My dog keeps whimpering at her empty food bowl.

So I put her in another room. I'm not sure what that bowl did to her, but it's obvious it upset her.

Lately, i called a chinese restaurant for a reservation

i also mentioned that i would bring my little dog.
They told me: "No outside food allowed!"

A woman drags her husband to the doctor,

He's been complaining for weeks about a sore stomach. The doc gives the man a full workover and deduces he is missing a vital enzyme mainly found in dog food. Reluctantly they agree to put him on the pet food diet to save his life.

A week later the doc sees her walking the street and asks how he's doing. "He's dead" She replies. The doc is understandably upset "How, dog food is not toxic?" She wipes a tear and says "He was hit by a car in the middle of the road licking his genitals"

A man walks into a bar and a busty blonde waitress pours him a drink and asks if he would like some food.

The man looks up at the menu above the bar and sees that it says, "Hot dog $2, Cheese burger $5, Hand job $10".

He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

She winks and replies, "Why yes I am".

The man says, "Well in that case, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger".

An American brings a Chinese Man to a hotdog stand.

The American orders a hotdog and assures the Chinese Man that the food here is very good.

When the hotdog is finished cooking and served, the Chinese Man begins to look pale.

The American asks, What's wrong?

The Chinese Man replies, When we eat dogs, we typically remove this part of the body.

Why don't cannibals have dogs?

Because you're not supposed to feed them people food.

What do you call a dog in a sub?

A subwoofer!

Now again:

What do you call a dog in a sub?

Chinese food!

I saw our cat drinking out of the dog bowl so I ate some of his food to teach him a lesson.

So far he's learnt nothing, but I've learnt that I don't like cat food.

One year later after Pavlov's dog death...

Pavlov still brings him food.

Cold water

A city boy was spending the summer with his grandfather on a farm.

The first night, the food was good but the plate looks a bit dirty.

The boy asks his grandfather about it and he says "That's as clean as cold water can get them."

The next night, the plates are even more gross but all the grandfather will say is "That's as clean as cold water will get em"

The following day, the boy see's a dog licking dirty plates. The grandfather said "I see you met our dog, Cold Water"

The five-second rule...

The five-second rule for food dropped on the floor is not a very good rule if you have a one-second dog.


I told you that feeding your husband all that dog food would finally kill him!

It wasn't the Alpo, he broke his neck trying to lick his balls.

If Italian food is made by Italians and Indian food by Indians,...

who is making Dog food?

My mother bought a new kind of dog food for our pet.

Mom: Did Fido enjoyed his food?

Me: I don't know.

Mom: I thought you fed him and he finished his food?

Me: He did. But he never said he enjoyed it.

What do you call it when you have sex with Chinese food

Raw dog

As a kid growing up in the Vietnam I could always tell how well the economy was by what type of dog food my parents bought.

Chihuahua when it was bad, Black lab when it was good.

I finally figured out how to get a monkeys brain into my dog.

I threw it in his food bowl.

I was cooking a dish with onions in it and my friend cried.

I only now realized recently that she wasn't raising that dog for food.

When it comes to dropping food on the floor, I use the 5 second rule.

Only problem is I have 2 second dogs.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the dog food uneaten jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working dog food pup piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes