Dog Dying Jokes
136 dog dying jokes and hilarious dog dying puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about dog dying that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Dog Dying Short Jokes
Short dog dying jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The dog dying humour may include short dog eating jokes also.
- My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I got her an identical one. She was livid, "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
- My girlfriend's dog died so I got her an identical one She got even more upset and shouted at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
- • My friend's dog died the other day so I surprised her by going out and getting her an identical dog. She was furious, she said *"what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"*
- "Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?" "Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"
"Not this time. Our dog died." - My girlfriend's dog died so I got her an identical one to try and cheer her up. But it made her even more upset.
She screamed at me saying, What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs? - My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?" - My girlfriends dog died recently So to cheer her up I bought her another one just like it. It didn't work.
She said "what am I going to do with two dead dogs?" - My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset.
She shouted at me and said, What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs? - Why is it that your dogs have to be vaccinated to go to the park and daycare, but your kids don't have to be? Because it's sad when a dog dies.
- When I die, I'm leaving my vintage meme collection to my son. My will will simply say you're the man now, dog
Share These Dog Dying Jokes With Friends
Dog Dying One Liners
Which dog dying one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with dog dying? I can suggest the ones about dog sitting and dog biting.
- How did Garfield's dog die? He OD'd
- My Dog named Kobe just died :( The first kobe I know who passed.
- The inventor of dog treats died earlier today... He was a good boy, yes he was...
- When do Asians gain the most weight? When their dog dies
- My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday She's fine. But, the dog died
- I named my dog 'one' and 'two' If one dies, I have two.
- My dad's pet rabbit died My mom said he's almost responsible enough for a dog
- What do dogs say when their owers die? wOof.
- My friend's dog Travis Thomson died... I guess you could say it was a Travis T.
- Why did Snoop Dogs grass die? Cuz he don't love no hose.
- How did Jon Arbuckle's dog die? He OD'd :/
- Why did the Russians send a dog to space to die? Because they didn't Lajka.
- my dog died today set of a firework and she thought it was a chew toy
- My girlfriends dog just died so I got her an identical one. Now she's got two dead dogs.
- 3 of my dogs died in the past 2 years It's been pretty ruff
Dog Dying Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about dog dying you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog fur jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make dog dying pranks.
Mr. Brown was working in his garden when on the other side of the fence, he heard his neighbor crying. Mr. Brown popped his head over the fence and asked, "What's the matter Mary? What has upset you?" The blonde neighbor replied, "My dog has died and I'm going to bury it here." Mr. Brown said, "You only have one dog, so why have you dug three holes?" She answered, "The first two were too small."
Once upon a time, there was a cat who died.
When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth.
She told the Lord that it was awful, she had to sleep in cold back alleys where there was no food and life was hard.
God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on.
The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy.
A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth.
Earth was no better for them than it was the cat.
They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people.
God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates.
One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven.
She explained that it was absolutely wonderful.
The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels.
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the corner “Mom & Pop” grocery store picking out a pretty good size box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
“Oh, no laundry,” the boy said. “I’m going to wash my dog.”
“But you shouldn’t use this to wash your dog. It’s very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he’ll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him.”
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store to buy some candy.
The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
“Oh, he died,” the boy said.
The grocer, trying not to be an I-told-you-so, said he was sorry the dog died but added, “I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog.”
“Well,” the boy replied, “I don’t think it was the detergent that killed him.”
“Oh, what was it then?”
“I think it was the spin cycle.”
A real man would never cry in public unless:
He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master.
Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt.
Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking.
Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd.
Approaching the owner and he asks him:
"What happened here, man?"
"Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said.
"Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?"
"My dog bit her…"
"You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?"
"Get in line!"
Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.
While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.
After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hysterically.
Upon calming down the other Jew asks his new friend: "remember when that dog chased you for so long that you ended up exhausted and almost died of hunger?" Another second of silence passes and again, they both start laughing like crazy.
God, overhearing the conversation, approaches the old Jewish couple and asks them what's so funny about any of these events.
They both look up and say: "Oh you wouldn't understand, you just had to be there".
My friend phoned me in a panic.
He said, "My dog is dying and I can't afford a vet. I was wondering if you wanted to buy my car?"
​
"Is it in good condition?" he asked.
​
"Yes, excellent."
​
"Then why does it need to go to the vet?"
Socrates' Beloved
Socrates beloved dog died. He went to his Greek priest and asked if he could arrange a regular church service for his dearly departed. The priest was outraged and berated the parishioner for suggesting his dog receive holy services. Dismayed, Socrates turned away mumbling, 'Now what am I to do with the five thousand Euros we saved for the serviced?' 'Good Lord, my son, come back; why didn't you say he was Orthodox?'
When you hear "I do not love you but we can be friends" it's like...
your mother says "Your dog died but you can keep it".
My dad loves telling this joke to women
Robert is walking down the street and sees two hearses followed by hundreds of men walking. At the front of the line, one man is walking his dog.
Robert walks up to the man and asks,
>"What happened?!"
The man- "My wife and mother in law died."
Robert - "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. How did they die?"
The man - "My dog bit them."
Robert - "Your dog bit them and they died?!"
The Man - "Yup"
Robert - "...Can I borrow your dog?"
The man simply smiles and says, "Get in line."
Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years...
Ed and Ted met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been for you? " Ed asked. "Not too good," Ted replied. "My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run over by a bus, my house was hit by a low-flying aircraft, my vintage car rolled off the dockside into the sea, I had to have my dog put down recently, my doctor says that I have an incurable disease and to cap it all my business has just gone bust. "
"Oh dear, that sounds terrible. " Ed said. "What business were you in? "
"I sell lucky charms," said Ted."
2 hearses.
One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." Dave then asked who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." "Can I borrow your dog?" "Get in line." replied the man.
A little boy walks into his local corner store...
He goes in with his weekly allowance from his parents, usually to get a candy bar or something. But this time, to the cashier's surprise he brings up a bottle of laundry detergent. "What do you need this for, kid?" asks the cashier. The young boy explains how his dog is filthy and needs a bath. The cashier explains to him, that it is a terrible idea and may even kill the dog. The kid listens to the advice, but proceeds and buys it anyways. A week or so later, the kid goes into the store and brings a candy bar up to the counter. The cashier rings him up and asks "Hey, so is your dog alright?" to which the little boy replies "no, he died". The cashier tells him, "I told you it was a bad idea to clean him with laundry detergent!" and the little boy replies, "I don't think it was the detergent that did it, I think it was the rinse cycle."
The passengers on a small plane are quite surprised the when the pilots arrive.
The passengers on a small plane are quite surprised when the pilots arrive.
The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.
The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.
Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
Three men are in a balloon...
an Australian, an American and a t**.... The balloon is being weighed down so the Australian says, "My country has to much Vegemite" and threw a jar of Vegemite over the side. The American says, "My country has to many Hot Dogs" and threw a Hot dog over the side. Still the hot air balloon is to heavy so the t**... says, "My country has to many bombs" and threw a bomb over the side. Later when the men are walking they came across a woman in tears, they stopped to ask what the matter was, "I was taking my cat to the Vet for a check up and a jar of Vegemite fell on its head and it died". After consoling her the three men went on. Not to long after they came across a homeless man looking very happy, they asked him what he was so happy about and he answered, "God answered my prayer, he dropped a Hot Dog into my hands". Later on the men were walking and they came across a man laughing his head off. The three men asked him "Whats so funny?" and he answered "I was watching TV, and i f**... so hard that my whole house blew up"
So there's this blonde...
and she's sick and tired of being stereotyped as the dumb blonde, so she decides to dye her hair and move to another city. After she died her hair brown, she packs up her things and leaves for the new city. Driving down a barren country road on the way there, she starts to get really hungry. With no restaurants in sight, she pulls in to the only home as far as the eye can see, a sheep farm. Thinking a sheep would make a tasty meal, she walks up to the house where the farmer is sitting on the front porch and asks him if she can guess how many sheep there are if she can have one. The farmer agrees. The woman has a knack for counting and adds up all the sheep really quickly and says "72". The farmer says "whelp, that's right, go grab your sheep and leave." The woman picks up her choice and starts walking back to her car, but before she gets in the farmer shouts after her "If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
When life starts
A Priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi are having a discussion. They are trying to determine the exact point when life starts. The Muslim argues that life starts at conception. The Priest disagrees and says that life starts at birth. The Rabbi turns to the two men and says, you are both wrong. When the dog dies and the kids move out, that is when life begins.
There once was a women who had a hundred children..
There once was a woman who had a hundred children. She named each of them after numbers, in the order they were born. All of them died except for Ninety.
Ninety went off to have some children of her own. Her kids were very kind, and one day they found an injured dog. They took the dog home but never told their mother, fearing she would kick the dog out. In fact, they never told anyone about the dog. To further keep the puppy secret from the world, they named the dog This, so that its name could be used in conversation without arousing suspicion.
One day the dog ran away, and they never saw This again. But nobody else knew about This. Nobody knew that a dog named This had even existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
Fright Flight
After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, the flight attendant announces over the intercom that, "We're just waiting for the pilots."
The passengers look out the windows, and see two men, dressed in pilot's uniforms, walking towards the plane.
Both men are using guide dogs and appear to be blind.
There are murmurs among the passengers, and some believe it is a joke.
The men board the plane and go into the cockpit.
More concerned murmurs and uneasy chuckles from the passengers.
The plane taxis normally to the runway and begins its takeoff.
As passengers look out the window, they realize they are nearing the end of the runway!!
The entire passenger cabin begins screaming, but the plane lifts off, just before the end of the runway.
The passengers calm down and chuckle to themselves, at this point believing that they fell for a joke.
In the cockpit, the pilot turns to his copilot and says, "You know, one day those people are gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die!"
Some guys are talking about pets...
They get to talking about how good big dogs are because they can make good guard dogs.
One of the guys says "I preferred my old chihuahua pebbles better. And no other dog made me feel safer! He died killing a rabid full grown doberman for me!"
The other guys are confused and ask how that was even possible.
"The doberman choked to death."
Catholic, Protestant and Jew debate
The Catholic argues that life begins at conception; the protestant claims that life begins at birth. The Jew states that life begins when the kids move out and the dog dies.
The difference between cats and dogs when you die
When you die, your dog will mourn you until the day he dies.
When you die, your cat will be playing with the toe tag while they're taking your body out the door.
Legs up in the Air
One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. She asked, "Daddy, Daddy why is Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier."
The next day when Susie's dad came home she ran up to him and said, "Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today." Flustered, her father said, "Honey what happened?" And Susie said, "Well Mommy's legs were up in the air and she was screaming 'Oh Jesus I'm coming I'm coming' and if it wasn't for the milkman holding her down she would have been a gonner."
What happened to the dog?
A woman pregnant with triplets was a victim in a robbery, and was shot 3 times in the belly. She went to the doctor and he said although the bullets reached the triplets, it wasn't in a critical zone, and eventually the bullets would come out their bodies. 2 healthy girls and a boy were born.
After 12 years, one of the girls was peeing, when she peed the bullet.
- "Mommy, some metal thing just came out of me" - she said.
So, mom explained to her what had happened when she was pregnant.
A week after that, the other girl was peeing, the same thing happened, and the mom explained it again.
After another week, the boy was in the bathroom and calls his mom.
- "Mom, you won't believe what just happened!" - he screamed.
- "It's OK son, you just peed some metal thing, wasn't it?" - she replied.
- "What? No! I was m**... here in the bathroom when suddenly our dog died".
The neighbor's pet rabbit
A guy finds his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in its mouth.
The rabbit is dead and the guy panics.
He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house.
He gives it a bath, blow dries its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor's house, hoping they will think it died of natural causes.
A few days later, the neighbor asks the guy, "Did you hear that Fluffy died?"
The guy stammers and says, "Um... no... what happened?"
The neighbor replies, "We found him dead in his cage one day, but the weird thing is that the day after we buried him, someone had dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage. There are some real sick people out there!"
Dead duck
An old lady has a sick pet duck that she loves dearly, but she's broke so she takes him to a cheap veterinary clinic. The vet doc says your duck is dying there's nothing we can do. Devastated she pleads for him to try anything, so he says he'll be right back. He walks back in with a Labrador by his side, the dog places one paw on the duck, nothing. Vet doc says OK one moment. Leaves comes back with a cat, cat places one paw on the duck, nothing. The vet doc then tells the lady that's all he can do but her duck is still dying. Defeated and broken she leaves, upon receiving the bill on the way out its three times higher than she expected hud. She ask the secretary why and she says "it says here you requested additional LAB work and a CAT scan"
There once was a woman who had 100 children....
She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety.
Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation.
One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
Hi. I am here. First post, go easy on me.
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Pet Laundry
A young boy, about eight years old, was at the store picking out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said. "I'm going to wash my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog. It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in this, he'll get sick. In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not stopped by this and carried the detergent to the counter and paid for it, even as the grocer still tried to talk him out of washing his dog.
About a week later the boy was back in the store doing some shopping. The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer said, "I tried to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
"Well," the boy replied, "I don't think it was the detergent that killed him."
"Oh I'm sorry. How did he die?"
"I think it was the spin cycle."
A hunter goes into the jungle. He shoots a dog but tiger dies. How?
The dog's name was Tiger.
Was at the dentist the other day, he told me to say "ahhhh"
I asked him why, he said his dog died
A man's dog dies
A fine elderly Catholic gentleman lived alone in Southwest Florida in an upscale gated community except for his beloved dog that he had for a long time.
The dog finally died and the gent went to the parish priest, saying "Father, my dear dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick told the grief stricken man "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a Baptist church down the road, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
The old fellow said "I'll go right now. Thank you Father...By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick replied
"Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."
What did the dog say before he died?
Well I'll be dog-gone.
Bush, Trump, Sanders, and Clinton are all on a plane about to c**....
A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton & Bernie Sanders is about to c**..., but has only 3 parachutes.
The first passenger yells, "I'm Jeb Bush, let the big dog eat! I can't
afford to die." he took the first parachute and jumped.
The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump runs screaming, "I'm the smartest man in the world & the next President of America. He grabbed the second parachute and jumped.
The 3rd passenger, Hillary Clinton, says to Bernie Sanders "Take the last parachute."
Bernie says, "It's ok Hillary, there is a parachute for both of us. The
world's smartest man just took my backpack."
A man saw an unusual f**... procession
At the head of the procession was a man leading a labrador on a leash, following 2 slowly moving hearses. He cannot contain his curiosity and walks alongside the man at the head of the procession to offer his condolences.
"Sorry for your loss, who's in the hearse in front?"
"My wife"
"How did she die, if you dont mind my asking?"
"See this dog?" Says the bereaved man pointing to his labrador, It attacked and killed her."
"Dear me, who's in the second hearse?"
"My mother in law, she was trying to shield my wife from the dog and it attacked and killed her too."
They walk on for a little while longer in silence, when he asks
"Can I borrow the dog?"
"Get in line."
My dog died...
It's hair pink
My friends dog just died, he told me he wanted another one just like him...
...why whould you want another dead dog?
My friend's dog died.
That's ruff.
My poor dog hates going to the vet.
But he just won't die.
A blonde girl...
...wants to know what life is like as a brunette girl, so she goes to the hairdresser and has her hair died brown.
Eager to show the world her newly acquired intelligence, she goes on a walk and meets a shepherd. She walks towards him and says:
"if i can guess how many sheep you have in your pack, can I have one?"
"fair deal" the shepherd says and the blonde guesses "457". The shepherd, really surprised about the ability of the girl, says "a deal is a deal, you guessed the right number, pick a sheep and you can keep it".
After the girl has picked her favourite of the pack, the shepherd says:
"if i can guess, which colour your hair had before you dyed it brown, can i get my dog back?"
If I ever have to choose who dies, my mother or my dog, Toby's gotta go...
...straight for the t**...
The dad asks his son: "What has four legs and isn't alive?
Son: "nice try, a chair!"
Dad: "Nope. Our dog just died."
They don't give dogs red rockets in Russia anymore
The last one overheated and died.
If w**... becomes legalized after Snoop Dog dies
He'll be rolling in his grave
It's been a bad year. My dog died, I lost my job and my wife ran off with my best friend...
I do miss him.
My girlfriends dog died the other day so I went and bought her an identical one.
Apparently she wasn't too impressed with having two dead dogs.
The dentist said: 'Say Ahhh.'
I said: 'Why?' He said: 'My dog's died.'
My dog died yesterday.
ISIS claimed responsibility for it.
"Hey! The dog you sold me yesterday just fell over and died today!"
"Huh, strange. He's never done that before."
Why did the dog die?
It had Barkinsons
There was a woman with 100 children.
She lacked the creativity to name all of them so she just names them 1-100. 99 of the kids die. The only survivor is the kid named 90. 90 grows up and has kids of her own. One day, the kids find a stray dog. 90 did not want them to keep it. The kids decide to keep the dog secretly. They name the dog "this" so that they can say things like "Let's take this outside" without 90 finding out. One day, this suddenly dies in a car accident.
Only 90's kids remember this.
Local Hero saves lady from Dog
A man in USA sees a dog attacking a girl! He kicks the dog, it dies!
Newspapers report: "Local Hero saves lady from Dog"
Man says I'm not American
Report changed: "Foreign Hero Saves girl from Dog"
Man says: Actually I'm Pakistani
Breaking News: "t**... killed Innocent Dog which was playing with a girl"
Ninety
There was once a woman who had 100 children. She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out. In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed. Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
My friend's dog died…
… I told him that was pretty ruff!
(my 13-year-old son just told me this and made me laugh)
I have 2 dogs, the first is called one and the second is called two.
If one dies, I still have two.
Have you ever heard the one about the landscaper who lost everything after his wife left him and his dog died?
No?
Maybe I shouldn't tell it. It's a sod story.
There was a woman with 100 children…
There was a woman with 100 children. She lacked the creativity to name all of them so she just names them 1-100. 99 of the kids die. The only survivor is the kid named 90. 90 grows up and has kids of her own. One day, the kids find a stray dog. 90 did not want them to keep it. The kids decide to keep the dog secretly. They name the dog this so that they can say things like Let's take this outside without 90 finding out. One day, this suddenly dies in a car accident.
Only 90's kids remember this.
The dog from Britain's Got Talent has died
R.I.P Amanda
Two men are talking when...
One asks, "Oh yeah, what'd you do with your dog after he died?"
The other replies, "We got 'im stuffed."
"Oh, so like taxidermy?"
"No, Thanksgiving."
My friend told me a shaggy dog joke about Jonestown
By the five minute mark I was dying for the punchline.
My friend was upset because her dog died from a s**....
Which is strange, I always thought dogs liked a good s**....
My dad asked me: "Son, what has four legs and doesn't breathe?"
I said "You're not fooling me again dad, a chair"
He answered "No, your dog died"
The day my dog died
When I was about four years old my brother had an old beater of a sports car, and one day he and my dad were draining the gas tank before they do more work. So they drain the gas into a bucket and then go inside for beer. My dog Hershey's t**... on up to the bucket and takes a nice long drink.. And then he began to run laps around our house, faster and faster until my dad came out to see all the commotion. Just as he got out Hershey's falls down on to his back and is still.
My dad frantically asked me What happened is the dog okay?!
I laughed and said Yeah he's fine, he just ran out of gas.
The wife's dog died...
Knowing how much she loved that dog the husband got her another dog, exactly the same as the one that died.
He gave her the dog and she yelled at him: m**...!! What am I going to do with 2 dead dogs?!?
There was a Woman with 100 children...
She named each of them after numbers in the order they were born. There was a fire and all of them died except Ninety. Ninety went off to have kids of her own. They were very kind and loving. One day they found an injured dog. They took it home and nursed it back to health. They hid the dog and never told their mother afraid she would kick the dog out . In fact they never told anyone. To keep from arousing any suspicions they named the dog "This" so the name could be used in conversation. One day This ran away. They never saw This again. No one else knew about This. No one even knew a dog named This existed.
Only Ninety's kids will remember This.
Has your wife left you, your truck broke down, and your dog died?
Just play a country song backwards.
My Partner's Dog died this morning
To cheer her up, I went out to get her an identical one.
She was fuming, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?!"
My girlfriends dog died..
I went out and bought her an identical dog.
She asked me what am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?
This farmer was telling me about how brilliant his sheepdog was at maths,
"Watch this," he said. "Shep, what's seven plus two, "
And the dog barked ten times.
"OK, Shep, what's fifteen plus four. "
And the dog barked twenty times.
"He's very good, " I replied, but he's a little over. "
"Yeah, " answered the farmer, "old habits die hard, he's just rounding them up. "
Sometimes I think it's my fault my dog died from diabetes
Pouring syrup over his dog bones was never good idea, especially at his wake.